strawberries taste how lips do

how to cute.

what is this even idk how to write anything not depressing.

oh and jongin is a brat.

Sehun hates make up. It clogs his pores, makes his face feel dirty and heavy, and he can't ever seem to get rid of it all, no matter how many times he washes his face. Sure, he knows he has to wear it when he's filming for shows and performances, but he could really care less about if people like his freckles or not off stage.

But Sehun loves Lu Han. And when Lu Han is too tired from a performance to wash his face free of make up, Sehun doesn't mind the black and tan smudges that stain his white t-shirt. He doesn't mind the smell of hairspray that fills his lungs instead of the usual scent of Lu Han. Doesn't mind any of it because, despite how not Lu Han it is, it still is. It's all Lu Han, and Sehun isn't going to pick and choose what about Lu Han he likes and dislikes because there isn't anything to dislike.

Sehun lies in his bed, listening to the muffled sounds of Jongin pestering Kyungsoo to "Hurry up, Hyung, I'm hungry" while he absentmindedly twirls Lu Han's hair through his fingers. It's now a light, honey brown color that matches Lu Han's eyes perfectly. Sehun thinks that he likes it better black, though. It reminds him of their trainee days, the days when they could always be together. How they were attached at the hip, and that nothing could separate them. There was no EXO-M and EXO-K. There wasn't even EXO. Of course Sehun is grateful that he has debuted, and that they've all been selected to be in the same group, but it's still hard. (Junmyeon usually doesn't say anything the morning after Lu Han and the rest of M leaves, just lets Sehun have his space in their shared room.) Sehun tries not to think about them being apart, especially when they're together. But he can't help think how much he'll miss that scent of strawberries, how he'll be colder at night because there isn't another body pressed against his, how he can't wake up to a sleeping Lu Han every morning.

Sehun shakes his head softly and tries to focus his attention on the figure beside him. Lu Han is in a pair of Sehun's sweatpants and Sehun's t-shirt; the pants are hanging too low and the t-shirt is riding up a bit too much for Sehun to remain sane. All he wants to do is feel out that sliver of skin that's showing, run his fingers along it and feel Lu Han shiver under his touch like he himself does when Lu Han's breath ghosts over his ear. But he doesn't. Sehun is pretty certain that he's the only one of the two who thinks like that. He doesn't think Lu Han misses him like he does Lu Han. He's sure that Lu Han doesn't have a sinking feeling in his stomach after every airport visit, that there's no lump in his throat or pressure behind his eyes after the light in his bedroom has been turned off and everyone else is asleep.

Sehun can't focus.

The first time Sehun kisses Lu Han is during the Disneyland trip. They ended up sharing a hotel room and Lu Han had fallen asleep on Sehun's bed with him while they were watching some documentary on space shuttles. The TV became only background noise when Sehun finally laid down to sleep and was met with Lu Han's perfect features; long eyelashes, high cheekbones, pink lips. It was just lips against lips, nothing more. But the heat that pooled in Sehun's stomach indicated much more than that, as did the thoughts swimming in his head that refused to let him think clearly for the rest of their trip.

Sehun almost chokes on his soda when Lu Han speaks that night in Sehun's room.

"What." It's not even a quesiton.

"I asked why you kissed me." Lu Han repeats, like it's the most common thing in the world to say to your best friend and bandmate.

Sehun can feel his heart racing in his chest like it's trying to run far away, which is exactly what Sehun wants to do right now. He's just ruined their friendship and made everything awkward between them probably for the rest of their lives.

Lu Han holds Sehun's gaze, even when Sehun is looking anywhere but those big, chocolate-colored eyes. "I don't know." He finally says, letting out a breath he didn't realize he had been holding. It was bad enought that he'd lost his best friend, but now he has to explain his feelings for the elder, too? Sehun thinks he'd rather go through the SM audition process again.

"Do you love me, then?" Lu Han might as well have kicked Sehun in the gut. He used that word. Love. It leaves a bad taste in Sehun's mouth whenever he uses it because he knows that it never works out. No one ever has a "happily ever after." And it certainly won't end that way in his situation.

Despite what every fiber of Sehun's being is telling him not to say, he says it. Yes. He loves Lu Han.

Jongin gags when Lu Han sticks his straw into Sehun's cup of boba tea and takes a sip, and Kyungsoo has to elbow him in the ribs to get him to stop. "You guys are so gross." Jongin sticks out his tongue for good measure.

"Why thank you." Lu Han smiles, that fake one where he looks like an innocent child but is actually the spawn of Satan who is threatening to take your soul and sell it to the underworld.

Sehun lets a small smile slip past his lips as he watches Jongin shiver and cling to Kyungsoo with a very, very scared look in his eyes. It grows even wider when Lu Han turns back to him, a genuine smile now stretching his perfectly pink lips and letting it reach his eyes. Sehun grabs Lu Han's hand under the table so that Jongin won't throw up in front of everyone at the restaurant.

It's the night after EXO-M wins their first award, and everyone is exhausted from all the excitement of a few hours ago. The cheers are still ringing in Sehun's ears and his body is still tingling with the feeling of being on stage and in front of cameras. He sighs as he lays back on his bed, drying his hair with a towel while he waits for Lu Han to come back from Minseok and Jongdae's room (he was supposed to use aegyo and get them some snacks that Manager hyung really shouldn't know about).

A few minutes later the door clicks and Lu Han walks in, all tired eyes and mussed hair. There's a pout on his cupid bow lips and his cheeks are puffed out cutely. "Manager ge caught us and took away all the food."

Sehun welcomes the pouting Lu Han into his arms as he lets his boyfriend sit in between his sweatpant clad legs. His arms rest on Lu Han's waist and his chin on Lu Han's shoulder. "It's okay, you're sweet enough already." Sehun says, liking how hot Lu Han's skin grows with the presence of his lips on the elder's neck. (Jongin would have thrown up yesterday's lunch.)

"You're so cheesy."

"Hmm." Sehun hums, leaving a trail of butterfly kisses up his boyfriend's neck and stops when he reaches the junction between Lu Han's ear and his jawline. "You taste like strawberries."

"I may or may not have stolen your body wash again." Lu Han laughs, twisting around so he can push Sehun back onto the bed.

Sehun stares up at Lu Han, at the bruised skin under his eyes, at his long eyelashes, at perfectly shaped lips, at everything. And he's not sure why, or how, or even when he fell in love with it all, with Lu Han, but it doesn't even matter anymore because Lu Han loves him back and maybe-- just maybe, they can have a happily ever after.

have you guys seen that you can vote up stories now to get them featured? i like this system a lot better because now stories get featured because they deserve to be. am i right? yes i'm right.

i shall have baekyeol for you tomorrow

ok bai it's midnight and i have school tomorrow will edit laterrrrr