I opened the bathroom door of the hotel we've stayed in and saw you lying down on the bed, already asleep. I sighed and smile as I shook my head. It
was quite a long drive down here. You must be very tired. I walk towards our bed and sat down to watch you being taking away by dreams. A tear from your eyes fell.

----------------------------------

"I'm not going to share room with him, he shouldn't even be part of us." I remember the leader telling our manager before. I was young
and scared and no one wants me around. I'm a third wheel who was asked to become a part of the group. "Well, he can always stay in the kitchen since
nobody wants to room with him." he said and looked at me sharply before pretending not to see me.

You sighed and touched our hyung in the shoulder. "He can room with me."

"Sungmin ah..." Teukie hyung said in protest. You looked at me and tilted your head cutely. "Do you mind sleeping on the floor? I
mean I don't have the luxury of space but at least you won't sleep outside." I just nodded stupidly because you're just so cute with
your eyeglasses and bunny PJs.

"Thanks, hyung." I told you as you sleep on the bed. I lay down and before I could even close my eyes, your hand dropped and I saw your
head on top of your bunny stuffed toy, eyes closed into a deep sleep. You're beautiful. I smiled and stared at you for a while. An
angel. You could have just ignore me like the rest of them, but you took me in and made me feel at home. I feel blessed to be here in
our shared room.

**********************************

He just look like a homeless dog. Tell me, why does nobody like this young boy? He looks good and damn he sings way better than our
leader. I shook my head and butted in. "He can room with me." I said. Your face is just picture perfect when you're eyes widen and your
mouth agaped because of what I said. "Do you mind sleeping on the floor?" I hope you don't because seriously, my room can barely fit me
and my closet. You nodded stupidly, I just wanted to pat you like a good dog.

"Thanks, hyung." I smirked on you and lay down immediately. Sleep came really fast and I closed my eyes after a short while. I startled
in the middle of the night and saw you already asleep. I smiled with how you look so pathetic with you half lidded sleepy eyes and
mouth slightly opened.

Sleep tight~ I whispered as you raised your leg and hugged the bolster I lend you. I don't know what's with you and you're homeless
dog look, but I want to take care of you.

We've been close since then, right? We've shared our ups and downs and you've been accepted in the group and you've given us pride and
I'm just so proud of you. I wish I could express more, but we're sharing something special, and I know we'll be apart if I give you
a slight hint of what feelings I've developed since you stepped in to our shared room.

----------------------------------

"It will be Kyuhyun and Sungmin's romance." I remember Ryeong saying as we plan for our Mini Drama. I reacted immediately. "Why with
Sungmin?" you know why? Because I knew from the start that I will be the NG king. Right when I saw the script, I knew I'll make a lot
of mistakes. Can you imagine how my heart is pounding when I needed to fall on top of you and almost kiss you? I can no longer breathe
when Shindong hyung came out for his lines but I just can't stop laughing because I am actually giggling like a fanboy inside. I can't stop myself
from feeling butterlies in my tummy because your face and your lips was just a breath away. I've been dreaming of that since I saw
you sleeping while cuddling on to your bunny and I was almost able to kiss you right in front of the national TV. I mentally thank
Ryeong for choosing me as your pair.

"Saranghae." I whispered during the car scene, it was a slight whisper, I barely heard myself saying that. I thought you didn't hear
it but you come to talk to me inside our room right after the shoot.

"Kyu, why did you say that?" you asked me innocently.

"Said what?"

You looked down and blushed and you were just so cute, I could have squish you and put you in my pocket. "Y-you said... inside the...
car... you..."

"I love you." I said and you looked at me with your big, innocent eyes. I knew from the time you took me inside our shared room that
I will love you for sure. You're the most special member to me and even if I am closest to Ryeong, you hold a special place in my heart.
You looked down and smiled shyly. You held my hand and unexpectedly kiss me on the lips. You didn't say anything anymore, but I think
I knew that from that time on, things have changed.

We don't do much fan service together, we don't touch each other too much unlike my other hyungs, we don't even stand too close together.
But once you turn your back, my eyes will be on you; watching you, cheering you, admiring you. And when the curtain calls, I will hold
your hand in the most different and special way; fingers interlaced and is pressing it securely like I wouldn't want to let go.

*************************************

"Saranghae." You can call me delusional but I swear I heard you saying that, and my heart just pounded so fast endlessly I thought I
would faint when you reach for my forehead to kiss it. Do you really...? I mean...

"I love you." you said as you look in my eyes when I asked you after the shoot. My heart exploded and I felt a sigh of relief that
you are more honest about your feelings than I am.

What more can I say? I don't even know what I should do right now. I just walk towards you and kiss you because I've always wanted to
do that when you fall on me during our Mini Drama.

We didn't talk about it anymore, about what we are or what we've become. We just both know that the special thing we are sharing from
a long time ago has become even more special. The care and concern that we have for one another is something that would bond us even
closer. We've stepped on another level of closeness, a closeness that should be kept as a secret even if the world knows.

We don't do much fan service and yet the people can see how you hold my hand differently, but I don't care. I like it when you hold
my hands on stage, I like it when you walk in front of me in the airport, I like it when a fan cam catches you
looking at me. They think it is real and yet they think they are delusional. I think they're funny and our secret is safe.

---------------------------------------

I was busy with my own schedule and neglected your call one time. "I'll call you later." I didn't even take a look at my caller i.d.
I should have known it is you. You know I would definitely take a break when I know that it is you who is calling. I called back
immediately and you said in your coldest voice.

"Don't talk to me if I'm just distrubing you." Well, you are always disturbing me. You always run in my mind, you always smile cutely
in my mind that I cannot concentrate. And now you are disturbing me because I made you upset and I am worrying about you. I immediately
went home and looked for you. You were crying inside our room and I just feel sorry that I was stupid.

"You know what, if you don't want me to care for you anymore, fine! Just go away!" you told me furiously and my heart just sank because
I didn't know that you care so much that it will upset you this much. You were upset and that was the first time I saw you in tears,
I was helpless and I can't even ask our hyungs to help because I wouldn't really want them to meddle in our unspoken relationship.

Three nights after our fight, I came from schedule and saw you sleeping, hugging the bunny that you've kept long ago when you and
I started being 'us'. Are you that upset that you have to bring it out after promising me that I'll be the only one who can cuddle you
when you're feeling down? I sighed and kissed your forehead gently so as not to wake you up but before I could turn my back, you held
my wrist and sighed. "I miss you." you said.

Oh my little man. I immediately took away the bunny and put you in my embrace. "I'm sorry." I whispered and you just tightened up
your hold on me and cuddled your head on my shoulder.

And from that time we've changed yet again. We've become better and closer and we've known our limits to our relationship.

****************************************

You know how much I care for you and I just don't like it when you put me aside. It might sound shallow but my concern for you has
never been shallow ever since, and if you don't want it, just tell it to my face and I will leave you alone. "Hyung..." you called
me. But I was just furious that I can't keep my tears and just shouted at you.

"If you don't want me to care for you anymore, fine! Just go away!" No. Don't go away, I'm just furious and all I need you to do is to
hug tightly but you're just so stupid that you went out of our room quietly. We didn't talk for like forever after that. I took out
the bunny that I've been using from before. I know I promised to keep it because I want you to be the only one who will comfort me but I
just feel so alone and we haven't been seeing each other because of our schedules.

I heard your footsteps when you opened the door of our room and I just have to hold bunny tightly because I don't want you to know
that I'm waiting for you to get home. I felt your lips on my forehead and I just knew that we should stop arguing because I miss you
so much.

"I'm sorry." you whispered as we hug each other. And I'm just happy that we don't need too much words to understand each other. We've
become better and yet closer. I like the thought that my bunny is out of the scene again, because you're here to hold me tightly.

-------------------------------------

"If I'm a girl, I will choose Eunhyukkie." You told everyone and it immediately hurt me so I needed to in.

"I'll choose Ryeowook, if I'm a girl."

And inside the hotel I needed to feel more secure thus I consulted you. "Why did you pick Hyukjae hyung a while ago?" You smiled widely
and turned to me shortly and continued folding my clothes, preparing us for our trip back home the next day. Why do you like taking care of me?

"Because he's good in dancing. He can write songs very well. Plus I think he's good looking." you said.

"Well, I can sing, I'm one of the main vocals!" I reasoned out. "His songs wouldn't sound good without me, he can barely sing an octave."
you chuckled and put my clothes inside my bag and walked towards me. "Plus I look better than him." you wrapped your arms around my
neck and kissed me on my lips; shutting me up.

"Well, you're not really my ideal type. But I like you more than anyone in this world." you smiled and kissed me again. "You're my
favourite guy."

A just because of those simple words, I feel like I'm a gullible child calming myself and believing you wholeheartedly.

************************************

You're so cute when you're jealous and I know that you won't be able to hide what you feel whenever I say something different from
what you expect. I like the fact that you always want to be my choice.

"I like you more than anyone in this world." I knew you felt better when we kissed. "You're my favourite guy." And you're my one and
only and I would give everything to be with you even after this whole thing comes to an end.

My heart races with the thought that you'll always be clingy to me. I hope you won't get tired of me soon, because I am eyeing on
forever.

--------------------------------------

"What are you doing?!" manager asked us when he caught me kissing you during one of our concerts. What's wrong with kissing? Heechul
hyung kissed you on stage one time. He has kissed almost every male performer in our company! I was about to reason out when...
"Don't tell me this is fan service because you're in a ing backstage!"

You looked at me and felt scared. Well, I am too. He scolded the crap out of us and you started ignoring me from the time we landed
from one airport to another. You stayed with lanky Mimi and left me behind. I looked down and tried to ignore you. Did manager hyung
really asked you to keep away from me? You refused to look at me and kept an agonizing distance away from me the whole time.

"Sungmin ah..."

"They said we'll be kicked out of the group if we don't stop this." you said as you look down.

"But-"

You sighed and looked at me. "I can't let this happen to us. This is your dream, Kyu...and mine as well. We've been conquering stages
and we're doing it well. We can't ruin everybody because of what we're doing."

"What do you want me to do then?" I asked. You looked down and placed your hand in your pocket. "I'm moving out of our room."

**************************************

"You're older and you're supposed to think better than anyone here, what do you think you were doing back there?!" manager asked me
and I just look down. What's wrong with kissing him?

"I love him."

" that reason! You know you can't do that! What will the people say? What will your family say? What will our bosses say?" Teukie
hyung asked me. "I can't accept this, Min. You better get this thing straight."

What will people say? People will think they are just delusional. People will just say we're doing it for entertainment. They never really
cared whether it is true or not. What's the big deal about it? What will the boss say? Didn't they ask us to do alot of skinship on
stage? They were behind this things too. But You and I are just playing it well, because the whole world knows our secret.

"If you don't do anything about this, one of you might get kicked out...permanently." I looked at manager hyung and then Leeteuk hyung. I don't mind
being kicked out. I'm always the substitute, I never shine with you guys around. I'm always underrated. I don't really mind being kicked out.
But Kyuhyun... you've suffered enough just to be accepted by everyone around you... and if you will be kicked out... what might happen to the rest of
them? The vocals can't be completed without you.

A bell ring inside me. Is this a wake up call? Maybe. I can't be too selfish. The best way to take care of you is to stop taking care of you.

I sighed and went inside our room. "This is your dream, Kyu...and mine as well."

I looked down and placed my hand in my pocket. "I'm moving out of our room."

I turned my back but then I stopped and turned to you because...

"You know what my real dream is? To stay by your side and just be with you."

What choice do we have? I turned my back and left the room.

--------------------------------------

It was even more agonizing now that I am on my own in this shared room. We've shared this place for years and I never imagined any
of us leaving this place. This is our sanctuary, our cheap date, our perfect wine place, our world. I cannot bare being here for
one second without you inside.

I sighed and went out and barged into your new room.

"Kyuhyun ah..." you called; surprised that I didn't even knock. "What-"

No. Don't speak anymore. I mentally told you as I cup your face and own your lips. Your response was slow but I like that you're
responding the way you always do. Do you know what your lips can do to me? They send me to heaven and make me fall back down on this
place once we break away. "Let's end this here." I said.

You looked down for a while and then looked at me. "I know this is what we have been dreaming about." I told you. "We've conquered the
stage. We've pleased the whole world. I want to reward myself this time. Let's end this here."

"Kyuhyun ah-"

"Let's run away from this."

"But-"

"This is my dream, Min. I want to be with you."

You looked up; shocked and innocent big eyes on me. You stepped forward and wrapped your arms around me. Let's go.

***************************************

I thought we've made it clear to laylow for a while but then you barged in my new room and just kiss me like that. Do you know how
much I miss being in your arms? I feel drunk with your kiss and just want to have some more.

"We've conquered the stage. We've pleased the whole world. I want to reward myself this time. Let's end this here."

End what? End this?

"This is my dream, Min. I want to be with you."

You said that before and you're saying it again now and I still feel the same happiness because you're just so stupid to think that
things will be easy once we run away. People will hate us. They will look down on us. They will trash us and step on us. I'm not
saying I'm against it, though. From now on, I'll lean on you and trust you to take me anywhere away from this...

Kyuhyun ah, let's go.

---------------------------------------

And now I am looking at you, asleep and still with slight agony...but I don't care. Because you're here with me now. Who would care
about the world? I have you now. Even if they hate me, even if I get hurt, I wouldn't care anymore. Because you're here with
me now.

You slowly opened your eyes and smiled at me, unaware of the tears that fell down a while ago. Your eyes changed their glints and you
looked down.

"They're probably cursing us now." you said.

"I know." you looked down and I saw the fear in your eyes. Are you having doubts about this?
"Do you regret this?"

You stared at me and I just saw myself in your eyes, wondering what you're thinking about.

**************************************

They are cursing us now. They are haunting us. They will try to separate us... I'm scared. What if they found us? What if they tear
us apart? What if--

"Do you regret this?"

I looked up and saw you looking at me. Do I regret this? I shouldn't have taken you in to room with me. I shouldn't have kissed you
when you confessed to me. I shouldn't have care for you too much. I shouldn't have... but I did and I just can't stop myself from
falling for you more and more.

"As long as I'm with you, I'll never know what regret is."

*Author's note: Sorry for being random. I just have to
do something because I'm going to talk to the wall soon.
I haven't slept yet because of the milktea.
And  yeah, and I'm still singing that freaking
song. Somebody erase this from my playlist please.^^