Taemin had nightmares sometimes

He woke up thrashing and mumbling, looking for a hyung to either be held by or to maim

Minho had nightmares sometimes

He yelled in his sleep; expressing how much he disliked what was happening in his mind

Kibum had nightmares sometimes

He screamed. Loudly. Then proceed to act like he wasn’t tearing up

Jonghyun didn’t really have nightmares

But he knew someone who did

Lee Jinki had nightmares often

He woke up with the smallest hint of terror in his eyes, before quietly removing himself.

Jonghyun knew because Jonghyun saw it. He saw it every time he couldn’t fall asleep without fail, and assumed it happened more often than he was aware of.

He didn’t know what Jinki had nightmares about. A chicken-destroying monster? Being forced to wear a piece from Kibum’s wardrobe? Tripping and knocking out his teeth again?

Jonghyun wondered constantly.

After years of living together, Jonghyun was beginning to tire of simply watching Jinki slip out of bed and leave the room in the dead of night. The curiosity was eating him alive.

One night, Jonghyun deliberately waited. He waited long into the night, and finally, Jinki woke up. He opened his eyes with a start, took a deep breath, and sat up.  He was about to get out of bed, when Jonghyun poked his head over the edge of his top bunk mattress.

“Jinki?”

Jinki snapped his head up, startled. Jonghyun could see a mouse running frantically on the wheel in Jinki’s head.

“Is it raining?” He asked. Jonghyun frowned.

“What?” He asked.

“Is it raining,” Jinki repeated. “I thought I heard rain. I was about to check if it was raining.”

“It’s not raining,” Jonghyun informed him.

“Oh,” Jinki said. “Okay. Goodnight then.” And he went back under the covers. Jonghyun eyed him. He figured Jinki would want to leave eventually, but he stayed in bed.

Jonghyun cursed the older man’s willpower.

A few nights later, Jonghyun waited again. This time, when Jinki woke up, he carefully eyed Jonghyun’s bed before leaving. He apparently couldn’t see too well in the dark.

Jinki slipped out of bed and left the room. Jonghyun waited a minute before carefully climbing down from his bed to follow him. He nearly stepped on Taemin in the process, and had to rush from the room. Once he was in the hall, he had to revert back to stealth mode.

Jonghyun crept around the corner, finally locating Jinki in the kitchen. He sat in a chair, back turned to the table behind him and to the spot where Jonghyun now stood in wait.

Jinki was cornered now. There were no windows where he was facing. The jig was up.

“Jinki.”

Jinki didn’t jolt or jump. His shoulders slumped. He shifted in his chair, and slowly turned around. Jinki hadn’t been crying or messing up his hair or anything like that, and maybe that was a little worse. From what Jonghyun could see, he had been staring at a wall.

“Why are you awake?” He asked, voice monotonous. Jinki lost all tone in his voice when he was tired.

“You’re tired,” Jonghyun pointed out, simply stating the facts. ‘Why are you awake?” Jinki turned back around.

“ I am tired,” He admitted. “But I can’t sleep.” Jonghyun carefully picked up a chair and brought it on the other side of Jinki, sitting down and facing him.

“Why not?” He asked.

“I had a nightmare,” Jinki told him. He paused, before adding. “I have them a lot.”

“I noticed,” Jonghyun said. Jinki smiled.

“I know,” He replied. Jonghyun felt like there should be more to it than that, but neither man spoke further on it.

“What are the nightmares about?” Jonghyun asked quietly.

“Just one,” Jinki answered. “Over and over again.”

“A chicken-“ Jinki began laughing before Jonghyun could even finish. He clapped his hands to his mouth.

“I haven’t dreamt of food in years,” He said through his fingers. “It’s a curse.”

“What then?” Jonghyun asked. Jinki removed his hand and sank back in his chair, smile dwindling.

“About you guys,” He answered softly.

“You dream about us?” Jonghyun asked, not sure if he liked where this was going or not. Jinki nodded.

“I worry so much. If you’ll all be healthy. If you’ll be happy. If you’ll be okay. It makes me sick,” He said.

“But you never worry about yourself?’ Jonghyun asked, frowning. Jinki’s eyes crinkled. His noise twitched. He sat up straight.

“Jonghyun-ah,” He said. “Why am I afraid? I have so much to be thankful for. Why am I scared? Why am I worried? Am I selfish?”

“No,” Jonghyun answered, standing up and putting his hand on Jinki’s shoulder. “You are not selfish, Jinki.” Jinki removed Jonghyun’s hand, placing it back where it belonged.

“Jonghyun-ah,” He choked, lips quirking. “Tell me I’m okay.” Jonghyun looked into Jinki’s eyes. He had never expected to find this lost child behind a man’s body. He had always been there. He simply didn’t come out of hiding.

It was 4AM, approximately. Jinki stood up and collapsed into Jonghyun’s arms.

“It’s okay to be afraid, Jinki,” Jonghyun assured him, patting his back. “You’re okay.”