the opening ; a new beginning

It was an ordinary day of December. The cold, harsh wind of winter was hitting Kyungsoo’s red cheeks while he was trying hard to warm up his already frozen hands. Although it wasn’t a nice weather, the boy felt comfortable. That silence around him was like a refuge. He was happy he finally got rid of the noise from home where everybody kept complaining how quiet the 17 years old student is, how he never opens up to anybody, how he always keeps his words just for himself, how he’s totally parallel with the world around him. And Do Kyungsoo hated it! He has the right to do whatever he wants with his life that’s why he never understood why those people were so occupied with what he does or doesn’t.

Kyungsoo sighed. He did the only thing his mind allowed for his body to do; to sigh. Slowly, his head raised and his gaze fixed on the big, old clock across the street.

It was already pretty late and a lot of time passed since he left that house he was forced to call ‘home’. His mother must be worried for him; he thought and stood up from the wood-made bench that was now all covered with white, soft snow. The boy covered his head with the hood of his jacket, then pushed his hands inside the pockets of it.

He somehow liked it. The loneliness, the silence, they were all there in that moment making Kyungsoo feel at his ease. He was fine by himself, or at least this was what the 17 years old boy liked to believe.

People his age were too fake to be called friends, the younger ones were too ignorant and the older ones didn’t want a high school student as their buddy, so Kyungsoo decided he doesn’t need such thing as a person he has to listen 24/7 at the phone blabbering things he gave a damn on.

Or not…?

Kyungsoo made his way through the snow banks, but suddenly stopped when the reality crossed his mind then titled his head upward, watching with helpless eyes at the white sky he had in front of him.

‘How silly of you to believe being forever alone is the right thing.’ A voice inside his head said, making the boy laugh out loudly. Kyungsoo then shook his head and started walking again.

“If I didn’t know you, I’d think you’re a mad person. But hey, you can actually laugh.” Somebody made Kyungsoo’s body froze in place. He didn’t know who the other was but a thing was sure: Kyungsoo wasn’t very curious to find out. “What are you doing here at this hour?” the other boy asked taking some steps forward, then running in front of the doe-eyed teen. “Hey!” the stranger brightly smiled. “Oh, you don’t have gloves! Here! Take mine!” he quickly took his fluffy blue gloves off and handed them to Kyungsoo who just stared dumbfounded at them. “You can give them back to me another time, Do Kyungsoo.”

And like that, the beginning of a new friendship was created. As time passed, Kyungsoo found out the certain stranger from that day was also a student in the same high school as him, just that Kyungsoo was one year younger. Kim Joonmyun was the name and like Kyungsoo had seen in the time they spent together, he was a very sweet and caring boy, who liked helping people around and always had that shining wide smile on his lips, but never felt ashamed to make erted comments or insult people who got him mad.

The true is he and Kyungsoo grew pretty close; close in that way the younger let Joonmyun stay with him in the lunch breaks in the old part of the school’s building where nobody was coming anymore and greeting him when they were meeting each other on the corridor or inside the city. And for Kyungsoo it was close enough to see Kim Joonmyun somehow grew to have this kind of feelings for him like a girl has for her crush, but it didn’t affect their friendship; not even a bit because, well, Kyungsoo knew how to handle this thing by keeping silence and not letting any inappropriate thing go out of his mouth. He was the same quiet boy people knew, although he got the chance to meet more people that liked him for what he really was and this, just because of Joonmyun who convinced them getting to know more about Do Kyungsoo will make them realize how lovely he really is.

But again, as time passed, Kim Joonmyun became more and more sweet and caring towards the doe-eyed, and he also started using skin ship thing that kept freaking Kyungsoo out at first, but of course he got used to it in the end. Let’s not mention the things he used to whisper in the younger boy’s ears making Kyungsoo’s desire for getting to learn the ‘things’ he haven’t experienced yet grow bigger.

And Kyungsoo found himself enjoying the elder’s attention. He also liked Joonmyun’s presence next to him in the rainy days of February when they were wasting time readying random books in the school’s library or in the beautiful days of March when Joonmyun was forcing Kyungsoo go out for a walk with him in the lovely park across the big, old clock the younger still stops in front of and stares at.

As April came, Kyungsoo realized he’s thinking sometimes at Joonmyun’s well-toned body, sweet voice and beautiful smile in the days he stays by himself under the cherry blossom tree they had in the school’s yard.

And today wasn’t an exception at all. He couldn’t help but imagine how those pink and kissable lips would feel over his own. He had the urge to taste them every time they curled upwards in that eye-taking smile and for an unknown reason, he always felt happy.

Of course he knew what this meant. After all, he was the smart Do Kyungsoo and it didn’t take too much time for him to realize he also falls bit by bit for the first person who had the courage to approach him and no, this wasn’t Kyungsoo’s way to thank Joonmyun; to show him how grateful he was, but this was something Kyungsoo liked to call ‘a pure love’.

Yes, since April came, Kyungsoo found himself smiling every time he caught a sight of Joonmyun in the crowd of students, every time he heard him reading out loud certain lines from the books he was reading when they were all inside the library or every time he felt Joonmyun’s hands wrapping around his slim waist and his chin falling on his shoulder when they were waiting on the line at the cafeteria. And Kyungsoo enjoyed them all.

“You’re day dreaming again.” The younger one turned his head immediately in the voice’s direction just to see the beautiful orbs which’s spell he already got used to. “What’s up?” Kyungsoo again smiled like every time this question was addressing to him and simply shook his head.

“Nothing important.” And like that, a moment of silence followed; a comfortable silence they both enjoyed. But even that, the silence never remains still too much and after a few glances and genuine smiles were exchanged, Kyungsoo remembered the gloves Joonmyun borrowed him that winter; the gloved he wanted to give back to their owner since a lot time ago but he always forgot.

Slowly, he put his backpack on his knees and started looking for them making the other boy eye him with questioning eyes.

“Thank you.” Kyungsoo said in the end handing the gloves to the elder. Joonmyun hesitantly took them and just stared at them for a moment, remembering the day their friendship started, and like that, another smile lit up his face.

“You have no reason to thank me-”

“I have a few.” The younger quickly said, hugging his knees to his chest.

He had the urge to say a lot more things, and not like he was afraid of saying them, but he was rather just shy. He got bored of just dreaming at Joonmyun’s lips, more intimate touches and body and of course, he wanted something more, but how was he supposed to ask the other for something like that?

“Joonmyun hyung, I…” he stopped, hardly gulping, looking with frustrated eyes at his own fingers that were drawing invisible circles on the material of his jeans. “I have to tell you something.”

“Go on.” Joonmyun motivated him, not being able to hold back how curious he was to find out what his friend had to tell him.

“I have this kind of feeling every time I’m around you, like…I don’t know. I don’t feel empty anymore.” Kyungsoo stopped for a second and just waited for the other’s reaction, but Joonmyun did nothing; just looked at him with the same expression Kyungsoo found rather annoying at times. It was like a poker face, just that there was a smile added to it. “You see, Joonmyun hyung, I feel alive whenever you talk to me and for an unknown reason, I grew to hear your voice every night before I go to sleep. And also I can’t see anything around me whenever you smile.” He let out a soft laugh and moved his gaze to his fingers, starting to play with them again. “I don’t know if you’re aware how eye-taking your smile is. I should have been blind by now taking into account how many times I’ve looked at it.” Joonmyun’s lips pressed into a firm line as he saw how easily Kyungsoo can describe how he feels, not being the awkward boy he used to be anymore. “And then there are your soft fingers which drive me insane every time they touch my skin and I don’t know if this is a good thing or not since it never happened to me before. I don’t know if I sound stupid now but I enjoy it when they drive me insane.”

“Do you say you enjoy my touches, Kyungsoo?” Joonmyun slowly asked moving closer to the other boy and slowly cupping his face between his palms.

“I do.” It surprised Joonmyun with how much confidence his younger friend gave him his answer and he couldn’t help but smile again at the cuteness the doe-eyes were showing to him.

“You have changed, Kyungsoo. You’re not that cold anymore. I can actually feel the heat on your cheeks now.” Kyungsoo started to laugh while his right hand raised to touch the elder’s one.

“Your gloves did everything.”

“My gloves were for your hands not for your cheeks.” The doe-eyed boy shook his head.

“Your gloves really did everything, Joonmyun hyung. They started our friendship and they also made you gain my trust.” Joonmyun stopped blinking for a moment and simply stared into the other’s orbs, finally ending up by pulling back and laying his body on the grass.

“If we’re talking about trusting you have to know, pretty boy, I’ll never be topped by anybody.” Kyungsoo’s eyebrows furrowed as he tried to realize what his friend meant by that. “Not even by you.” Joonmyun stuck out his tongue then quickly pinched Kyungsoo’s cheeks.

“Joonmyun hyung, I don’t think you understand what I’m talking about.” Joonmyun shook his head.

“I understand perfectly, Kyungsoo. It’s just…I can’t believe it. It’s the first time I fall in love and I never thought this person will feel towards me the same things I feel towards him.”

“Joonmyun hyung…” Kyungsoo whispered, reaching for the elder’s hand. He somehow felt like he should have said these words instead of Joonmyun. After all, he was the guy people used to dislike, not like Joonmyun who was loved by absolutely everybody in their school. “Don’t say that.”

“I already did it.” The elder sheepishly smiled and locked his fingers with Kyungsoo. “Kyungsoo-ah?” Kyungsoo didn’t raise his head, but just waited for Joonmyun to continue. “You really changed, in a good way.” He squeezed his younger friend’s, now lover, hand, a long sigh of satisfaction leaving his slightly parted lips. Kyungsoo genuinely smiled, no words being able to describe how complete and grateful to God he felt in that moment.

“It’s April…and I finally opened.”

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