Best Friends

It’s been a good five years since the last time I saw her. Now here she is again, as beautiful as ever. I would even say she was more beautiful than before, if that was even possible. But the last time I saw her, her face was crying. An angel in tears.

Now here she is, standing before me with the brightest smile I’ve ever seen on her face. Like somebody just gave her the best present in the world. Though I refuse to believe that I was something like that to her. We were friends, best friends, and we would be nothing more no matter how much I hoped differently.

From elementary all throughout high school we were best friends. We were joined at the hip. Siamese twins they would call us. It happened in the first year of high school. When she smiled, I found myself smiling. When she laughed, I found myself laughing with her. Whenever I saw her I found butterflies in my stomach , my heart beating unusually fast. I fell in love with her. I fell in love for the first time.

But I was her best friend, I was her confidant, I was her secret keeper. It hurt that I could be nothing more. With each secret she told me, my heart broke. I listened to her as she told me her new crush, I was there when she introduced me to each of her boyfriends. And there I was, smiling each and every time my heart breaking with every passing second. There was nothing else I could do.

For two years, I watched her with her boyfriends and every time they broke up, she came to me crying. For those two years, I fell in love with her several times and each time she had a new boyfriend, my heart broke. I didn’t fall only once, but several times. I wanted to confess. I really did. But we had years of friendship behind us. A confession from me could potentially destroy that. I didn’t want to destroy what we had just because I couldn’t control my feelings. No, I did the smart thing. I buried my feelings.

Then I had a chance to leave all that behind, I had a chance to go back to my home of Beijing. The chance to leave behind the pain, the heartbreak. But then it also meant that I had to leave behind Yoona. It wasn’t a very hard decision to make. Even though it meant leaving Yoona behind, my best friend, I wanted to get away from it all. It was hard watching the one you love fall in love over and over again from the sidelines. I wanted to put this behind me, I wanted to forget.

Telling Yoona that I was leaving Seoul was the hardest thing to do. Even though making the decision was easy, telling her was not. I, as her best friend and the one that loved her, hated seeing her cry. But it happened, she cried when I told her. I almost decided to change my mind. Almost. It was heartbreaking to see Yoona cry and to know that I was responsible for it. But I had to do it. I needed to have some space, to forget. I needed it for me. That year, was the last time I saw her until today. That year was the first time I broke my own heart. That was the year that I, Lu Han, decided to go back to Beijing, China.

Now here I am, five years later, looking at Im Yoona. All those feelings from five years ago rushing back to me. The pain, the heartbreak, the happiness. I went back to China so that I could forget, forget everything, and for a short while I did. But then I felt empty. I just couldn’t forget. I loved her that much. I thought five years away from her would be able for me to forget. But I never forgot. I remembered. I remembered her each and every day for the last five years.

Now, here she is again, the girl I love is standing in front of me. I told myself that since I couldn’t forget, I would confess. Even though years of friendship were at stake I had to do it. I couldn’t dwell on what if’s or the possibilities. I didn’t want to regret my feelings not being known. I had to tell her, even if it meant losing my best friend. Even if it meant my heart breaking all over again, at least there would be no regrets. At least I would be able to finally move on.

“It’s been too long Lu Han,” she said walking to me with her arms out wide. I opened my own and she walked in for a hug. Our first hug in five years. “I missed you so much,” leaning her head on my shoulder.

“I missed you too,” I whispered, loud enough for her to here.

When we let go, a little too soon if you ask me, she looked up and was staring into my eyes. “I still haven’t forgiven you for leaving to China for five years,” she said. “But I’m happy you ‘re here again. Welcome back.”

That was probably the biggest smile I ever saw from Yoona. I couldn’t help it, I smiled back. “It’s good to be back.”

We were just staring at each other now, as if memorizing each other’s features. As if we would never see each other again. And it truth that was a possibility. That possibility hurt, that I would probably never see Yoona again after this.

“Yoona, I-”

“I have something to say Lu Han,” she said, effectively cutting me off. I would never have another chance if I backed out now, but confessing after what she had to say couldn’t hurt. I hoped. “I fell in love,” My heart dropped and a lump caught in my throat. I couldn’t even swallow. It only took four words. It only took Im Yoona four words to break my heart all over again.

“I think, I’ve loved him for a really long time now and I only just realized. I think that’s why all my past relationships didn’t last,” she continued. There’s a smile on her face, a smile of hope. But I couldn’t get past those four words. I could feel something like ice flow through my veins until it reached my heart, clenching it. “Han?”

I tried to swallow. I try to get that lump out of my throat. “Is it one of your exes?” I managed to whisper.

Her eyes widen little, before she gives a small shake of her head. “It’s someone else. Someone I’ve known for years. And I just found out I loved him.” My eyes widen and I forget to breathe because it’s there. She’s looking at me the way I always wanted her to. I’m speechless. Nothing ever prepared me for this. I didn’t even imagine this as best case scenario. But here she is, looking at me with eyes filled with hope.

“Yoona-”

“Just let me finish,” she says, effectively cutting me off again. “I have to say this before it’s too late. I have to say this before I regret it,” she took a deep breath. “I love you Lu Han.” And there it was, my heart suddenly felt too big for my chest. It’s amazing what those five words did to me. Never in my wildest dreams did I ever think this would happen. It’s amazing that so quickly after she broke my heart, she healed it with those five simple words. All the scars, all the hurt accumulated over the years wiped clean, with those five words.

Just as she turned away I grabbed her waist and pulled her into my embrace. It felt so real. It felt so right. As I turned her to face me I saw tears stream down her face. I cradle her face in my hands. “I love you too Im Yoona.” The words I wanted to say for so many years finally came out, and it felt good. Sliding my mouth against hers, I kissed her. My first kiss.

My first kiss for my first and last love.

A/N: Thank you all for subscribing and waiting patiently for this oneshot! I was actually surprised when I saw the number of subscribers,  it means a lot that you guys are looking forward to this. And now, here it is. I hope you guys enjoy reading this as much as I enjoyed writing it. Again, thank you guys and I owe you guys a lot for reading this <3

And also thank you to Gabs who was willing to beta this for me <3 Visit her profile and read her fics if you guys have the time :D

PS: As you all know this is for a contest, wish me luck ^^