It was an ordinary day, too ordinary in fact. I got up at exactly 5:30am, as if I’m still going to school for the last time. Mom woke up at exactly 5:45am to prepare our breakfast. I heard Dad grumbled his way down to get his early morning coffee that my mom prepares. Oppa, my older brother was already out by 6:00am for his morning jog. Even the newspaper boy threw the newspaper on the porch right on time just when my dad is about to get it. It’s as if everything’s already set. I told you. It’s too normal of a day to be happening something unusual.

I moodily went my way downstairs to meet and eat breakfast with my parents for the last time. It’s gonna be my last day with them! Hello, why are they still acting like I’m just going on a school trip and I’ll be back later in the afternoon? 

I sighed.

“Where is oppa?” I asked, resting my chin on back of my hands, looking depressed. At least oppa could just stay home and be with his younger sister for the last time right?

Dad gave me a look that says “Why are you asking questions that you know of anyway?”

I pouted and muttered, “Fine.”

“Hurry and finish your breakfast. By the time your brother gets back, he’ll take you to the airport.” My mom said, suddenly addressing me in Hangeul.

I merely nodded. It’s as if they’re rushing to get rid of me. Well, not that I can blame them. After finding out recently that I was mom’s child to another man when she went on a vacation back in their home town, Seoul, South Korea, it has never been the same in the house. I’ve never set foot in Korea. I can understand Hangeul alright, but I cannot speak the language. My parents always talks to us in English, only our grandparents would speak to us in their native languages.

“Stop sulking. Don’t do that when you’re in front of the table!” Suddenly my dad’s voice boomed, almost making me jump. Since our dad found out, he had treated me differently. He had become colder and is not the same anymore. At first my brother was like that too. But when my dad’s treatment became too much, he decided he’ll contribute less to the torment they’re making me go through.

“I’m back. Lee Sungmi! Are you ready?” My brother was back. I looked up, and pouted sadly. Since that day, they would call me using my real father’s name. Lee Sungmi. My dad here is a Kim. My brother is a Kim. His name is Kim Heechul. So I should be called Kim Sungmi too, right? But no. They started calling me Lee. My mom never comment on this, coz its the entire consequences of her deed. 

“Neh.” I answered in my broken Korean. 

My mother didn’t even kiss me goodbye. My father didn’t even bid me goodbye. It’s really just like I’m going on a school trip. Well, they’re sending me to Korea to study. They say it’s a good opportunity for me to discover my roots. But I can’t help feeling my dad had insisted it because he doesn’t want me in his house anymore.

“Take care there, okay? You got your dad’s home number in Seoul already?” Heechul oppa asked, his eyes kept on the road. 

“Yes.” I just said. My brother and I used to be really close to each other, but that piece of information regarding my identity just has to put this gap between us. Sometimes I just try to understand; that seeing me reminds me of my mom’s mistake.

“Oppa, are you happy?” I suddenly burst out. 

He glanced at my way, and raised an eyebrow at my randomness.

“Are you happy too coz I’m going away?” I can’t help asking. I guess I don’t know what answer I’m expecting. What if he becomes too honest and tells me he actually is.

After a minute or two, he gave out an amused laugh which I cannot read.

“What are you saying? Of course I’ll feel lonely that I have no one to bother anymore. But actually I’m not that sad ---“

I knew it.

“YA!” He suddenly reached out to my side and lift up my chin with his right hand.

“Don’t give me that look. I’m not that sad coz in a few weeks; I’ll also be going there too!” 

Oppa’s words made me shock, happy and excited. Seeing oppa’s slowly forming smile made me less worried of my future in Korea. At least I know I won’t be totally alone once he comes.

“Really?” I said, the only thing I can say, coz I was really too happy.

“Yes. So don’t worry too much okay?” Heechul oppa reached over to pat my head. I wrinkled my nose in appreciation. I secretly like it every time he does that. It only means he still loves me even just a bit despite everything.

“Okay. I can only go up to here. Make sure to call me when you touched down there, okay? Doesn’t matter if our timezone is completely opposite of one another. Do.Not.Forget! Okay?” 

I laughed at Heechul oppa’s emphasizing of words. He tends to do that every time he means business. 

“I love you oppa.” I said, hugging him, feeling his warmth. Every since we were little kids, oppa had always been there to make me feel safe and secure. Despite the 7 years gap, he’s still cares and loves me dearly, even with the occasional bullying, which is his favourite way of showing his affections.

“Off you go now, brat. Don’t forget, okay? Just ring me up, or send me emails or what not. Just keep in contact.” Heechul reminded for the very last time. I nodded and smiled sadly as I waved goodbye.

“Sungmi-ah!” He called. I looked back at him.

“I don’t hate you, okay? I never hated you. Remember that. Oppa loves you too very much.” He smiled a little; I know he felt embarrassed for saying those out loud. He’s never the outspoken type regarding his feelings, especially if it makes him vulnerable.
I almost cried and wanted to run back to him, but I held myself. If I came back running, I might never be able to board the plane anymore.

~~~~~~~*~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

It has been a week already since my ‘move’ here in Seoul. My ‘dad’ enrolled me to this private highschool near our place. I say it’s a pretty decent high school, only people are just too cold and not the usual friendly type I’m used to at my previous school. Maybe because I entered mid of the semester. But either that. I don’t know if they’re naturally just like that.

The last time I talked with my brother was when I touched down in Incheon. Like what I had promised, I called him up to say I landed safe and sound. But that was the last time I heard from him. Although I send him emails on a daily basis regarding my day, not a single reply I receive from him.

“Sungmi-ah. Hurry down and we’ll eat dinner already.” I heard my biological dad called. Actually, living with him wasn’t so bad after all. It’s just that, it became lonelier since we live in this house with just the two of us, because apparently, his current wife doesn’t want to live with me around also. So my dad have two houses. The one where I’m in and the other one where he keeps his wife. I never ask if he got another child with his current wife. Not that he brings it up anyway.

So, being the new girl, I usually just keep out of everybody’s way. I’ve met a few acquaintances already, but not the friend type who would want to hang out with me. I sighed as I made my way again under the big tree near the soccer field to eat lunch alone. 

“Hey---“ I groaned to myself. A bunch of people were at my tree! I frowned, keeping a distance. Where am I supposed to have my lunch? I hung my head low; feeling defeated and started to turn away, when suddenly ---

“OW!” I suddenly went body smashing with someone who’s obviously a lot bigger, stronger and leaner than me. How else would I go flying to the ground?

My first worry wasn’t the scrapes I know I’m bound to have on both my elbows. Nor the humiliation that the incident would cause me. 

“My lunch~~” I groaned, seeing my lunch box, all spoiled a few feet away from me.

“Hey, are you okay?” The guy leaned down at me. I never meet his eyes, but I nodded bitterly. Why does he need to ask when it’s so obvious?

“Okay. Good to know. Be careful next time.” He said, before walking carefully away from me.

WHAT.THE.HECK? I looked back at him as I saw him making his way to his friends, under my tree.

If he wasn’t so kind looking; if wasn’t his voice sounded so sincerely concern, I think I would hate him to roots. He’s kind looking already, he looks sincere alright, but how much more un-gentleman he can get?!

I tried it all up and pulled myself to my feet as I gather my spoilt food. How else would I eat now?? I don’t like the school cafeteria because it seems like the place where you would let the school body judge you; by how you walk, by who you are with, by what you eat and by whom you sit with.

“Hey!” 

I silently curse my fate. Why nobody does want me? I silently curse that nice kind looking guy. 

“Hey! Wait up!” 

Absorbed in my own thought, I didn’t realize someone was calling after me.

“Hey!” A guy held my shoulder, but let go as soon as I turned around.

“Oh.” I said. Another reason why I avoid talking to anyone is because of my broken Korean. I’ve had enough humiliation during the first day of introducing myself.

“I’m sorry about what happened.” He just said. I know this guy. He’s in my whole class. Lee Donghae. He sits exactly 4 chairs in front of me.

He simply handed me a lunch box and smiled briefly, almost knocking the wind out of me.

“W-Wha---?” I stammered.

“YA~ Donghae-ya~ Let’s go!” The oldest guy was calling Donghae. I think he might be in senior year.

Donghae smiled a bit one last time before turning away from me. I held on the lunch box he had given me, not believing this is happening. 

Well, don’t get me wrong, I don’t have this crazy crush over him, but to have someone who actually becomes nice to me like him, is really surprising.

I watched Donghae jogged to his friends as they started leaving my tree. Donghae then engaged on a serious conversation with the guy who had crashed with me, as if scolding him, but the guy merely shrugged it away.

“Hmpf.” I pouted. I waited until they are out of sight, before I went back to my territory. I opened Donghae’s lunch box, and found it still untouched. I wondered if he doesn’t like it, that’s why he’s giving it to me, or he witnessed what had happened and just felt bad for me?

“But if he didn’t touch this, what did he eat though?” I find myself worrying. Although I’m not really friends with him, it’s really worrisome. Well, I just know how it feels like to skip meals and to spend the day with an empty stomach. Nonetheless, I started eating the lunch he had given me.

~~~~~~~~~**~~~~~~~~~~~

The afternoon heat was starting to get into me. I wanted to doze off in class, but I’m the new student, I cannot have that bad impression to my teachers and classmates.

Then suddenly, someone tapped my shoulders.

“Sleepy?” He asked. I was a bit taken aback by his question; he was leaning forward from his desk to throw that amused whisper at me.

I blinked back at him, not really sure what to reply.

“Let’s ditch class!” He said, excitedly. He was the same kid who had bumped me that made me spoil my lunch earlier. Why would I want to ----


“LEE SUNGMIN!”

I froze. I panicked as the teacher called my attention. Argh! I just responded to this guy’s tapping, why am I---

“Neh.” The guy behind me stood up, flashing up his most charming, almost blinding, toothpaste CF quality smile.
I looked back hesitantly. Didn’t the teacher just called me?

“Lee Sungmin, you’re the class president and yet you initiate unnecessary talking and whispering in my class, especially to the new girl—“

I opened my mouth to protest, but no sound came out. All the girls giggled, probably at how cute Sungmin was smiling sheepishly at being caught, while the boys are hooting. I feel my face grew red. I caught a glance at Donghae who was near in front looking back at me and smiled a bit before making a face at Sungmin.

“You there, new girl. What your name?” this time the teacher directed the question at me.

“L-Lee…. Lee Sungmi.” God. Why do I have to stutter? 

The whole class went all “Ohhhhhh…” I blinked, confused for a second. Then I realized, I’m Lee SungMI and the guy behind me was Lee SungMIN.

The teacher let out an amusing laugh.

“Both of you Lee Sungmin’s, go out of this classroom and talk all you want. When you both satisfy each other’s talkativeness, that’s the only time you can go back.” The teacher said. Well, I say she shared a little bit of the class amusement from the almost similar name I share with this guy. I, somehow, felt unfair. Why am I being sent out when I haven’t even reply to this Lee Sungmin’s conversation?!
I involuntarily glanced back at Donghae; he too, was frowning, as if thinking the same thing I was thinking. He probably knew that his friend, Sungmin, likes talking so much and has all the blame in this situation.

“Well, what are you waiting for?” The teacher raised an eyebrow at me, my feet refused to move.

“Let’s go.” Sungmin whispered excitedly at me as he held my hand and tugged them gently.

I pouted sadly, even though I was feeling sleepy, this isn’t right! I never got send out from a class before! This can’t be happening!


Once the door was closed, Sungmin stretched out his arms above his head, feeling relieve. He then turned to me, with this annoyingly cute twinkle in his eyes.

“So…. What do you want to do, sleep or we eat out? I’m kinda feeling hungry; it’s nice to eat first before taking an afternoon nap. What do you say?” He blabbered. I crossed my arms across my chest and faced the other way, choosing to ignore him.

“Heeyyyy…” He called. I still ignored him. 

“Hey, Lee Sungmi, if this is about your lunch earlier, I’m really sorry. I’ll buy you food to make up for it.” He said, touching my elbow a little, but immediately withdraws when I turned to look at him.

He smiled expectantly. Why do I easily give up when being bribed with food?

No.

I turned away again. From my peripherals, I saw his face fell down. I almost wanted to giggle. How can this guy look so damn adorably cute like a baby but still looks so manly handsome?

“Lee Sungmi~~~~” 

I turned to face him again, shocked. IS HE AEGYO-ING AT ME??? He is!

“Y-yah.” I said, actually. I’m not really sure how to speak to him. This Lee Sungmin, being so handsome, I’m embarrassed to actually talk to him with my broken Hangeul.

“Let’s go!” He insisted, forcibly took my hand and we started jogging from the hallway.

Instead of feeling anxious of the consequences of us ditching school, I can’t help noticing how soft his hand is. Unknowingly, I gripped his hand tighter. This didn’t go unnoticed. He looked back at me and flashed another of his smile, tightening his hold on me. I can’t help feeling it, but where did these little butterflies in my stomach come from???

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