My One & Only Forever.

 

Thursday

9:05 a.m.

The cell phone rang.

            “Honeeeeeyyyy~!! Your cell phone is ringing and it hurts my ears. Pick it up please~” A man, who was covering his face with the soft pillow, was whining childishly at her wife named Nakashima Ayame.

            “Hai~” I regained my consciousness and picked up the call, “Moshi-moshi… Kore wa dare desuka?” I spoke hoarsely while my eyes were still closed. I still felt sleepy.

            “AYAMEEEEEEEEEE!!! OHAYOUUUUUU!!!” The side of the phone was screaming loudly in the phone until my eyes were wide opened because I felt shocked. I knew that voice, “Sayuri-chan?” I rubbed the sleep from my eyes before resuming back my words, “Ohayou, Sayuri-chan.”

            My best friend named Yamaguchi Sayuri was giggling from the other side of the phone, “Eeeeehhh~ Are you still sleeping? At this hour? I guess your beloved hubby is also like that, right?”

            My cheeks flushed scarlet and a smile was on my beautiful, pink lips, “Aaahh~ It’s embarrassing when I’ve been caught by you.” I glanced at my husband beside me and saw my husband, Arioka Daiki was already awake. “Anyway, why did you call me?”

            For a minute, I was waiting for her to answer. “Just as Yuina and I thought! Do both of you forget that we had promised before that today we’ll be going out together? Do you remember?!” She sounded annoyed.

            Oh crap! I forgot about that! I laughed nervously. “Aah~ Gomenne! I guess both of us forgot about that but don’t worry. We’ll be there soon. So, just wait for us.” I glanced at my husband and saw his expression of weirdness. I just smiled at him and looked away afterwards.

            “Okay, then. But you two better make it snappy! Yuina and I have been waiting for you for almost thirty minutes!” I nodded, “Ha-“ Before I could say yes, she already hung up.

            Soon, I could feel that Daiki wrapped his arms around my waist. “Dare? Sayuri-chan? What does she want from us this early in the morning?” He whispered softly in my left ear as his face was on my left shoulder. “Darling, do you remember that we have made a promise with Yuina and Sayuri that four of us will be going out and spending this whole day together?”

            To my surprise, he answered… “Yes, I do remember.” My eyes were widened and I was deeply shocked at his answer. “Why don’t you remind me? Do you realize that they’re mad at us already because they thought that we’ve forgot our promise?” I was becoming exasperated with him.

            His embrace was tighten, “Yes, I know and realize that they’re mad.” He said while fondling my cheek. “But I just want to spend more time with you, honey. After this, I’m not sure if we can be together like this or not.” I wonder what was wrong with my husband. His behaviour was quite weird these past few days. His hands gently caressed my hands before kissing them.

            “W-We don’t have time for this now. Let’s get dressed. They’re waiting for us.” Quickly I got myself free from his embrace. I wanted to enter the bathroom but unexpectedly, he pulled my arm and I fell into his tender embrace again. “Honey, don’t go. Please stay with me, for now. I want my wife now, not anyone else.”

            I was hushed, not knowing what I should say to object. In my head, I was thinking that our best friends were waiting for us. Then, he lifted my face and my hair from my eyes. “Tell them that we won’t make it.”

            “But-” Before I could finish my words, he put his forefinger on my lips and shook, “Please? I beg you to do so, for me, for us.” He implored me and I felt like I couldn’t reject his wish. I took a deep breath, “Okay. I’ll send them a message, telling them that we couldn’t fulfill our promise for today. But, can they come to our house tomorrow?”

            He nodded, “Sure.” He then smiled sweetly and cutely. “Thanks honey, for not disappointing me.” I just smiled back at him. Without wasting any golden time, I took my cell phone and typed a message to Sayuri, asking for forgiveness for breaking the promise which has been made.

            After sending the message, I gave my attention back to my husband. I saw a mischievous grin on his lips. “Wh-What are you grinning at?” I stammered out a question. “Let’s take a bath together today, honey~!” His mischievous grin was getting wider and wider. I was flabbergasted to hear his request, “WHAT?! Chotto-” But that was too late. Daiki already carried my body to the bathroom. My husband, I wondered why he was being weird these past few days?

 

****

 

            I watched the television in the sitting room with my husband after finishing the house chores together. He looked weird as he was too eager to help me with the chores. He said that he wanted to help as he didn’t know if he could help me again in the future.

            His left arm was around my neck and I was leaning on his chest. The drama which was televised was nothing interesting. “Darling, why don’t we change the channel? This drama is quite boring.” I asked him and he agreed. He changed channels until he found an interesting drama entitled Risou no Musuko. “Do you want to watch this?” He asked me and I replied him by nodding my head. “Even though it’s a drama of years ago, I still can enjoy the drama. And plus, Ryosuke is quite handsome and cute in there.” I tried to .

            I looked at him and twitched my eyebrows in mischief. I felt amused when seeing him pouting his lips like a child. Hontouni kawaii desu! “Honeeeeyyyy, you’re meanieeeeeee~” He whined childishly and I wanted to laugh so much when I heard his whine. “What? Did I say something wrong?” I tried to act cool.

            He kept pouting as jealousy was taking control of himself. “Mochiron! You praised Ryo-chan just now by saying he’s handsome and cute. You praised him in front of meeeeeee~ I’m your husband, deshou???” He looked so cute that I got the giggles. “Darling, are you jealous?” I asked with a smug smile.

            “Of course I’m jealous!”

            He looked away quickly as he blushed.

            Suddenly I burst into laughter, “I just praise him because it’s the truth. Don’t worry. I don’t have any feelings for him.” I said frankly. He turned his head to me and smiled, cheerfully. “Really? Is it true? You aren’t kidding right?”

            My head was shook, “Hai~ Believe me.” Then, I was folded in his arms. “I believe you, honey. I believe you…” He whispered in my ear. I felt glad when I heard that he believed me. I wrapped my arms around his neck and said, “Thanks for believing me.”

            After that, we looked at each other and smiled. “Can I ask you something, honey?” I nodded my head. “What is it?”

            “Honey, are you happy being with me?”

            I looked at him with a puzzled frown. “Why are you asking me that kind of question?” I asked him back. He’s becoming a real weirdo, I thought. He gave me a little smile, “I just want to know. Will you tell me?” He asked and at the same time, he ruffled my hair affectionately.

            “Okay, then.” I took a deep long breath. “Of course I’m happy being with you.” I gave him a playful pinch on his cheek. Daiki looked through my eyes with a wry smile, “Someday, if we are destined to be separated, what will you feel, honey?” He asked.

            I was astounded by his sudden, shocking question. I gazed at his face, feeling staggered and confused by his weirdness. What I realized, by this time, I wrapped my arms around his neck. I didn’t know why but his question made me feel uneasy.

            “Honey, what’s wrong?” He asked while hugging me back tightly. His voice was so soft and velvety. “Darling, I hate when you ask me that question. I feel like you’ll leave me and go to somewhere far from me. Are you really going to leave me?” By this time, tears were streaming down my face. “Please don’t ask me questions like that.” His shoulder was also wet with my tears.

            He lifted my face and asked softly, “Hey, hey… Honey, why are you crying? Please get rid of the tears. I don’t like to see you crying.” He wiped my eyes with his fingers gently. “I’m always by your side, honey. I’ll never leave you alone. Shinpaishinaide ne.” He continued.

            I set him free. “Really? You’ll never leave me?” I asked for certainty.

            He nodded. “Un.” After that, there was a complete silence and he was looking straight through my eyes. “Honey, I love you. You’re my lifelong love.” He suddenly said.

            “I love you too.”

            He had a great big smile on his face. He caressed my cheek gently and brought my lips to his.

 

****

 

            I walked out of the bathroom weakly. I wondered what’s wrong with me. I vomited up most of the food that I ate. I felt so ill that I took my bed. When I was about to get some shut-eye, I heard the door creaked open. I didn’t care about it as I thought that was my husband who coming in our room. He crawled into bed and lay down behind my back.

            “Honey…” I heard him calling me.

            I tilted my head back to look at him and unexpectedly, he gave me a quick kiss on my cheek. I got up and stared at him in astonishment. “What’s that kiss for?” I asked.

            There was a smile on his lips, “I love you, honey.” At first I was silent but then I gave a laugh. “I love you too, darling…” It was a sheer bliss to hear him saying ‘I love you’.

            “Honey…”

            “Yes?”

            “When I’m not here, will you promise me to take care of yourself?” I was aghast at his sudden inquiry. “I will… But why are you asking me that?”

            He smiled again and said nothing, leaving me in confusion. Suddenly, Daiki gave my belly a gentle . He smiled and said, “How I wish that a child will be bestowed on us by God. A child who will keep you company when I’m not around.” I didn’t know why but I felt uneasy and unhappy when hearing his saying. “Why are you saying like this, darling? You make me feel sad.”

            In the twinkling of an eye, he held me in a tender embrace. In reply, I hugged him tighter. “I’m sorry for making you feel sad. I didn’t mean it that way.”

            “Daijoubu dayo.” I replied.

            I set him free and continued, “Darling, I feel not well today. Could you accompany me to the clinic tomorrow?” I looked at him with imploring eyes. To my astonishment, he shook his head. “Gomenne, honey. I can’t. I don’t think that I can make it tomorrow.”

            Although I felt terribly disappointed, but I still gave him a little smile, “Ii yo. I know that you’re busy with your shooting and photo shoots. I can ask Sayuri and Yuina to accompany me tomorrow.” He nodded smilingly.

            He hugged me tightly again. “Honey, thanks for these eight months of wedded bliss. This marriage is blissful and I cherish every moment I’m being with you. You are my most cherished possession.” He whispered in my ear.

            “Would you mind if I sing you a song?” He asked. “No, I don’t.” I shook. He started singing Hey!Say!JUMP’s Together forever afterwards. His voice was so tender and soft.

 

Wasurewashinai yo, kimi to deatta ano hi wo

Sabitsuita mune no kagi wo sotto akete kureta

Toki ni wa omouwazu kizutsuketa hi mo aru kedo

Sono tabi ni itsumo yasashisa no imi tanda

 

Kajikanda yubi saki gin no illumination

Ima sugu aitaiyo kono machi wo nuke

Let’s hold you tight…

 

Dare yori mo soba ni iru yo shimpainaisa

Nakimushi na kimi dakara mamori tsuzuketaiyo

Miageta

Yozora ni wa futatsunaranda hoshi

Bokutachi mo onaji youni kore kara saki zutto…isshou dayo

 

Chiisana candoru (candle), kakonde hashaideru kimi

“Oogesa sugiru?” tte, hanikamu toko ga kawai ne

 

Kaban ni hisometeru, osoroino ringu(ring) wa

Sapuraizu (surprise) dake janai, omoi no akashi

Give you my heart…

 

Maiorita Tenshi no youna kimi no egao wa

Kami sama ga boku ni kureta saikou no purezento (present)

Koboeta

Kono karada gyutto atatame aou

Boku dake no kimi de ite ne kore kara saki zutto...

 

Silent Night…Holy night…

Nanimo iranai kimi ga ireba

Ima koko ni iru

Kiseki yo itsumademo kienaide...

 

Konayuuki ga shiranu uchi ni, machi wo someteku

Itsu no hi mo soba ni iru yo, tatoe nani ga atte mo

Miageta

Yozora ni wa futatsu naranda hoshi

Bokutachi mo yakusoku shiyou kore kara saki zutto…isshou da yo

 

Dareyori mo soba ni iru yo, shimpainaisa

Nakimushina kimi dakara mamori tsuzuketai yo

Miageta

Yozora ni wa futatsu naranda hoshi

Bokutachi mo onaji youni, kore kara saki zutto…isshou da yo

 

Together forever…

 

            Finally, I dozed off in my husband’s tender embrace and gentle fondle.

 

****

 

            That morning was so quiet. I took my cell phone to see the time. To my surprise, it’s already 9 in the morning. Daiki was still sleeping beside me. Slowly I got up as I didn’t want to disturb his peaceful sleep. I gazed at his face. His face was serene and he seemed likely to smile. I kissed his cheek and smiled. “Ohayou, darling.”

            Still silent.

            There’s no movement from him.

            Suddenly, I felt an oddity from him. I closed my ear to his chest. There’s no sound. I grasped his fingers. As they’re warm, I felt glad. But when I put two fingers of mine on his wrist, I couldn’t detect a pulse. There was no pulse. He seemed to be sleeping. In a twinkling, I hugged his lifeless body, quite long but there’s no words coming out my mouth. And there’s no tears streaming down my face too. Am I dreaming right now? Is that right that he’s not in this world anymore? He’s gone? I asked myself.

            I dialed Yuina’s number shakily. As soon as she picked up my call, I stammered out, “Y-Yuina-chan… D-Daiki… H-He’s gone!” The cell phone fell from my nerveless fingers. I sank down on the floor and wept. “D-Darling… Please say that it’s a lie that you’re gone.” I shook his body for times. “Wake up, darling. Wake up please. Don’t kid around with me like this. I-I’m scared…” I was in flood of tears. He still didn’t move, the more I was feeling scared.

            “DARLIIIIIIIIIIIINNNNNGGGGGGG!!!” I cried loudly as he didn’t move.

After that, my sight turned all black and I didn’t realize anything as I was knocked unconscious.

 

****

 

            I opened my eyes and looked around in this room. I felt glad as I knew that I was in my room. I tried to get up but then I wrinkled my forehead in pain as I had a pounding headache. With force, I managed to lean on the bed.

            Suddenly I remembered something. “DARLIIIIIINNNNGGGG!!!” I called out to Daiki. At first, there was no one responded to my call but then I heard the door creaked open. I thought it was him but to my surprise, I only saw Yuina and Sayuri.

            They took places beside me. Yuina was on my left while Sayuri was on my right. “Ayame-chan… Have you awake?” Sayuri asked me with care. I just nodded my head and smiled. “What are you guys doing here?” I asked them.

            They looked at each other and Yuina answered to my question, “Visit you, of course.” I looked at both of them with a frown. “Visit me? What’s happening to me, actually?” Suddenly, a smile lit up their faces. “Omedetou, Ayame-chan!” They said simultaneously.

            “Congratulations? On what?”

            Sayuri laid her hand on my shoulder while Yuina grasped my fingers. “You fell unconscious about an hour ago so we called the doctor. And guess what the doctor said about you!” Sayuri sounded excited and I could saw a twinkle in their eyes. I kept silent and thought for a while. As I couldn’t think anything, I shook my head, “What is it?”

            “You’re about two weeks pregnant! You’re going to have a baby soon! Omedetou~!” Yuina began to scream blue murder in pleasure. A sudden hush fell over me for a few moments but then a smile was carved on my lips. “Really?! Yokatta~!!” They nodded while smiling. “Then, how about Daiki? Does he know about this wonderful news?” I continued my words.

            They became as silent as the grave when I asked them about my husband. “What’s with this awkward silence? And where’s my husband, Daiki?” I looked around but he’s nowhere to be found. I was feeling troubled with this four-minutes silence.

            “Don’t you remember anything, Ayame-chan?” Sayuri asked me and I shook my head self-confidently. “Don’t you remember that about an hour earlier, you called me and said that Daiki has gone?” Yuina asked. I looked at her with a puzzled frown, “Gone? Where does he go?”

            I could see the bewildered expressions on their faces. They looked at each other before Sayuri spoke, “Ayame-chan… What kind of piffle that you’ve just asked? Don’t you remember that you called Yuina, telling her that Dai-chan has gone? He’s not in this world anymore, Ayame-chan. He’s clinically dead…”

            My heart stopped for seconds then my heart sank with all the sadness. I felt a stab of excruciating pain, “S-So… it wasn’t… a dream?” I started choking on my words and it was getting hard to breathe. Tears filled my eyes and they started to pour. “I-I thought it’s a dream… that he left me. But it’s not… H-He really did leave me…”

            I looked at both of them, begging them to say that was a lie but as tears filled their eyes, I knew that was the truth. “Daiki… HE LIED TO ME! He said that he won’t ever leave me… But now?!!” I felt so broken and embittered.

            Sayuri hugged me tightly while Yuina my back gently. I could see tears were streaming down their faces. “Ayame-chan… Be strong. Don’t be like this, please? It’s not good for the baby. And we are pretty sure that Dai-chan wants you to be strong too.” Sayuri tried to calm the heart of mine.

            In reply, I hugged her tighter. “You can say anything you want because it doesn’t happen to you. I’m the one who have to face this appalling fact with this delicate heart of mine. Why must him? Why not someone else? It’s not fair for me! Does God hate me that He took Daiki from me?” I began sobbing uncontrollably.

            “Shh… Don’t say like that, Ayame-chan. God doesn’t hate His servants. It’s because God loves Dai-chan more that He took him from you. We know that this situation is very hard for you but please persevere. Do that for Dai-chan, for your going-to-be-born baby and most importantly, for the sake of yours. You have to remember, life goes on. Even if you cry until you are going blind, Dai-chan is not going to come back alive. What can you do now is pray, praying for his happiness up there, in the other world.” Yuina gave me a piece of advice while patting my back gently.

            I set Sayuri free and looked at both of them. I managed a weak, wry smile. “Sayuri-chan, Yuina-chan… Arigatou. Thank you so much for advising me and for always being there for me.” Deep in my heart, I thanked God for sending both of them into my life.

“But still… Daikirai desu!” I continued.

“Hating yourself? On what?” They seemed shocked.

“I was too blind back then. I realized that he behaved eccentrically these past few days but I was too blind that it was a sign for him to tell me that he’s about to leave this world. I hate myself for being blind.” I was moved to tears.

Sayuri patted my back affectionately, “Shh… You should stop hating yourself. It’s not your fault for not seeing that death sign. You don’t know. For now, let bygones be bygones. Live your life for yourself, for your baby and for Dai-chan also. Don’t worry, we will always be by your side. If you want to cry, we will lend you our shoulders. Ii yo?” She gave me a warm smile.

I just nodded and said, “Arigatou, Sayuri-chan, Yuina-chan…” By this time, they gave me a big, sisterly hug. “No worries… That’s what best friends really means, right?” Yuina whispered in my ear and I smiled to myself.

 

****

 

-Three years later-

 

I was sitting on a bench in a park, looking at the playful Daichi, my son with my late husband, Daiki. I was all smiles when looking at him playing with his so-called ‘uncles’, Yamada Ryosuke and Chinen Yuri. Suddenly I felt a tap on my shoulder. Quickly I looked back and saw Sayuri and Yuina were standing right before my very eyes. “Sorry for the long wait. Here, the drinks for the six of us! And yes, we bought some candies for Daichi too.” Yuina gave me a plastic bag and I took it from her grip while saying ‘thanks’. They nodded and smiled and took their seats.

“Daichi!!” I called out to my son with a smile and continued, “Acchi! Come here, mama has something for you~!” Daichi ran towards me in a twinkling with Ryosuke and Yuri at the back.

“Mama~!”

He stretched out his hands to take the candy and juice from my hands. I just laughed to see his cuteness and I said, “Hai, douzo~” He smiled broadly and seemed happy when he got what he wanted.

“Daichi, do you have fun playing with your ‘uncles’ today?” I asked while helping him to open the wrapper of the candy. Daichi nodded happily and smilingly. “Mochiron, mama! They taught me about a lot of things and we even played a few interesting games!” He spoke fluently although he didn’t turn 3 years old yet.

I turned my attention to Ryosuke and Yuri, “Yamada-san, Chinen-san… Thank you for always spending your time with my son.” I lowered down my head slightly, showing them some respect.

“Nah, it’s okay…” Ryosuke casually smiled while opening a carton of fruit juice. “And plus, Daichi is like a son of ours. Ne, Yama-chan?” Yuri said and Ryosuke nodded his agreement. Hearing them saying like that made me feel blissful. O God, thank you for giving my son this happiness.

I looked up at the sky and smiled.

Darling, how are you up there? Our son, Daichi and I are just fine. Both of us at all times miss you. Although you have left us in the blink of an eye but Daichi and I are not alone. Sayuri, Yuina, your friends in Hey!Say!JUMP and our families are always there for both of us.

Darling, Daichi has grown up so fast and his look is just like yours. Whenever I miss you, I will always look at our son’s face. I’m being this strong for the sake of Daichi as I don’t want him to see me in sadness. And I know that you won’t like to see me being feeble, right?

Darling, you know what, Sayuri and Ryosuke are now husband and wife since four months ago. And Sayuri is now two months pregnant meanwhile Yuina and Yuri will get married next month. Everyone has their own lives now but we never stop missing and thinking about you. You’re always in our hearts.

Darling, I promise you that I will take care of Daichi very well and I will lavish him with love. Plus he is the apple of my eye. Whenever he asked me about his father, I would always say that you’re the greatest man that I have ever known. I never lied to our son about you. And I always ask Daichi to pray for your happiness up there. Are you watching us from up there right now? I feel like the sky is smiling to me and I assume that smile is yours.

Darling, I just want to say that you’re always gonna be my love and always gonna be the one. Up until now, you’re the only owner of this heart of mine. I love you, darling. Then, now and forever love you. I had a long monologue in my heart. I raised my hand, brought the wedding ring to my lips and kissed it.

I was brought back to reality when Daichi asked me, “Mama, are you crying? Doue?” He looked at me with his imploring eyes and everyone was also looking at me. I just laughed, blinking back unexpected tears, “Iie… Mama doesn’t cry. Mama feels so happy so these tears are the tears of happiness.”

He stretched out his hands to me, asking me to embrace him. Smilingly, I folded him in my arms. “Mama, I love you so much!” He kissed my cheeks afterwards. “Mama loves you too, Daichi.” I caressed his soft and smooth cheek affectionately. And I realized all four of my best friends were smiling when looking at us.

 

-THE END-