After the news his mother broke, Donghae stayed frozen and shocked. He still couldn't believe no one has been telling this! His father suffered from cancer, and he felt as the most useless son in the whole world.

"I'm a useless son. What kind of son I am that I don't even know my own father has been in a sickness!" he raised his voice a bit. "I've trained so hard in Seoul that I didn't even bother to come and visit home. I visited you guys once, but dad was still very healthy at that time." he had calmed now. 

His mother wiped Donghae's wet cheeks with tears, "Son.. It is not your fault, you dad was the one who made us all promise not to tell you about his sickness. He said he really wanted to see you as a singer, being on stage. That was your dad's wish remember? So when he was diagnosed with cancer, he didn't want you to know because he is afraid he might be another burden to you. While you can focus on your training, but if you know his condition, you can't." his mother explained. 

"Umma.. I.... I want to see appa for the last time......." he sobbed again. 

His mother brought him to the hospital, where Donghae's dad is still there. He looked at his lovely dad, who is lifeless. 

"Dad.. Dad, why? You told me you want to see and attend my debut! And I am debuting in a few days! But you brake your promise, didn't you dad? While other members have their parents watching them, I don't have my dad watching me?" he said while crying. "Aside from that, why didn't you just let the others tell me this? About your sickness.. So at least I could visit you and take care of you, and now... I feel like I'm the most stupid and useless son in the whole world." 

Hae's mom put her hands on both of his shoulders. "Hae, don't say that. Your dad won't like it. I'm sure even if he's no longer with us, he will still watch your debut performance from up there. He's even watching us crying right now." 

"Shouldn't you be calling Jessica right now? She's probably worried about you now." his mother asked again. Donghae and Jessica are dating. 

"I'll call her later, mom. I'm not in the mood to talk to other person right now." Hae replied. 

After a few hours staying in hospital, his mother forced him to go home and have a rest. Tomorrow morning, he will be going back to Seoul for a few more training before debuting. Though he didn't agree, his mother kept on forcing him. 

"Lee Donghae, you better listen to me. I will take care of all this, you better head home now. Take your brother with you. You're going back to Seoul tomorrow morning and you need to be fully-rest." his mother ordered. 

"But mom-" 

"Donghae. Didn't you promise to your dad that you will be an obedient child? Now obey me. This is for your own goodness too. I'm going to take care of some documents, I'll be home later." his mother said. Donghae now obeyed. 

On the way home, Donghae's phone ring. He's totally not in the mood for talking right now, all he need is his dad. He wants to talk to his dad so badly. 

"Um? Hyung? Your phone is ringing.. It might be important, you better pick it up." his brother said, pointing to Hae's pocket. 

With a sigh, he took his phone and read the name on the screen : JESSICA~ 

"Hello? Sica?"

"OPPA! Finally you answered! I've called you for ten times now, but you didn't pick any single call! You don't even reply my text messages!"

"Look, I'm busy right now, okay? I'll just see you tomorrow." he said sharply. 

"Opp-" the line was cut. Donghae ended the call. 

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Tomorrow morning, he had arrived in Seoul and is now walking lazily in the SM building. 

"GAHHH!" Jessica jumped in front of Donghae with a wide smile. "OPPA!" she wanted to surprise and make Donghae shock. 

"God, you scared me." he replied without smiling. Usually, when Donghae saw Jessica, he would always pinch her cheek or nose and smile at her sweetly.

"Well, sorry. I'm just excited to see you again! How's your travel back to Mokpo? How are your parents? And your cute brother?" she is still smiling. But when she noticed Donghae was silent and NOT smiling, her smile also faded. "Oh, did I say something wrong?" 

Donghae dragged Jessica to a room. "Come with me." And Jessica just followed. 

When they entered, "Yah! Donghae what happened to you? Why are suddenly becoming cold towards me now? Did I do something wrong to you? You didn't answer my calls, and even when you did, you only talked two sentences then, tuuuuuuuut! You ended the call. And just a few minutes ago, you seemed to be not happy when you see me, and then you dragged me so harshly you know that?" Jessica complained non-stop while rubbing her arm. 

Donghae noticed Jessica rubbing her arms and pouted cutely. Donghae smiled a bit seeing her girlfriend so cute. He took Sica's arm and rubbed it. "I'm sorry Sica. I didn't mean to hurt you. God, this is really driving me crazy!"

"What makes you crazy?" 

"Please don't spread the news first okay? You're my girlfriend, that's why I'm going to tell you this." he paused for a few seconds. "Sica..... my dad..... my dad....." he found it hard to say it. He just can't bear it of losing his very lovely dad. 

"What happen to him? Is he okay? Hae, tell me!!" Sica is shaking Donghae begging him to continue. She's already panic too. "If he's not okay then I think-" 

"he passed away." Donghae cut her sentence. 

"--you should-- WHAT?!" she was very shocked as well to hear this. Donghae nodded slowly. 

Jessica laughed, "Hahaha! Nice joke, Fishy. There's no way your dad has passed away! How could you say that?" 

"Jessica, I'm telling you the truth." he sounded very serious. "My dad passed away two nights ago, just before I went back to Mokpo at morning." 

Jessica felt guilty and now believed him. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to sound like that. I didn't know that happened." 

Donghae looked down and tried his best not to cry. No, not in front of Jessica, I don't want to look weak in front of her. 

But Jessica isn't stupid, she noticed his face and of course she understands how he feels right now. 

"Donghae oppa. You can cry if you want. Cry freely~ Crying is the best way to express your emotion, especially when you're being very sad." she smiled. 

Donghae slowly sat down on the floor and cried. 

"You look like a little boy crying because you can't find your mommy." Jessica teased. Donghae chuckled a bit. Jessica sat down next to him and put her arms around his shoulder, trying to comfort him. "Look, I know you're in deep loss right now, Hae. I understand. But your debut performance is just in two days. You better prepare and have good practice and rest so you'll be able to perform maximum."

"What's the use of doing perfect for my debut? Dad has passed away. I'm not doing this for myself Sica. I'm doing this for my dad, I already promised him that I'll be an excellent singer and dancer."

"But we all know you love singing and dancing, which means.. you're also doing it for your passion." 

"Without dad, I wouldn't have auditioned. He supported me all the way, supported every decision I made. Dad's last wish is to see and attend my debut performance, but now what? He already left me." he started crying again. Jessica didn't realize that she also already had tears in her eyes and cheeks. 

"Still, if your dad is......... you know...... no longer here. I mean, you should still at least perform your best. Your mom and brother are going to watch, some staffs and trainees, including me. I will watch too. Are you really going to disappoint us, Hae? After all your hard work of training these years?!" 

Donghae sighed and knew what Jessica said was true. "I, um. Need some time alone. Can you please leave me here for awhile?" 

Jessica stood up. "Alright, I respect that. I need to attend some training too anyway. Call me if you need me, oppa. I'll see you later." then she left. 

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