I closed my eyes and tried to replay yesterday’s moment in my head and every now and then wrinkled my forehead when suddenly someone bursted in to my bath room.

I jolted and buried my self deeper in the water whilst looking at the person. “What are you doing here?” I asked, she giggled and replied, “I’m sorry, I didn’t expect you to be here. I just stop by. What are you doing?” she asked and leaned to the door’s frame.

“What do you think i’m doing?” I smirked and she laughed, “just kidding! Next time, please sacrifice bit of your energy to lock the door, arraso?” she smirked back.

“By the way, you’re going to meet Myungsoo, again?” she furrowed her eyebrows, “what do you mean by ‘again’? Of course I’m meeting him, he’s my boyfriend.” I nodded my head, “okay.”

Suddenly, Big Bang’s Fantastic Baby heard from outside the bathroom. “Oh, that’s my phone! It’s probably Myungsoo... I will be get going, good bye!” She left the bath room, and before she really left she asked, “do you need or want anything?” I shook my head. “Okay, see you later, Bye!” she waved at me and went out to see her boyfriend.

***

[A day before...]

“He doesn’t reply my text, again...” she sighed, I couldn’t help to see her reddish eyes, I knew she must be wanted to cry at that time. “Have you tried to call him?” I actually had an urge to hold her hand, but I remind my self that she already has a boyfriend. “I have tried 10 times, but he didn’t pick it all up.” Her voice started to shake, I don’t want to see her cry and will never make her to.

“Do you want something beside coffe?” I asked with a smile, she shook her head, “oh, c’mon I know you must be hungry after crying like that. I’ll buy you ddukbboki, all right?” I stood up and ready to left but she hold my wrist, “where are you going?” she asked with a puppy eyes, I pointed at the ddukbboki stand in front of the cafe where we were that time. She losen her grip and told me to hurry so I nodded and walked fast to the stand.

When I almost reach the stand, someone bumped onto my back so I was being pushed forward and I bumped to someone in the stand. “I’m sorry!” I bowed at that person who was groaning, I straightened up my body and saw the person i bumped at.

It was a man and his eyes were narrow and sharp like a hawk, he looked at me with those eyes and said, “next time, be more careful!” and I just noticed there was a woman beside him which I assume as his girlfriend. “Oppa, let’s go... We don’t want you to make problem here.” The woman whispered to him whilst linked their arm together but the man still stood there and looking at me with his sharp eyes and finally the woman pulled him away.

***

I laid on the comfortable sofa in my living room, my left hand burried under my head and the right one hold a remote control.

I forced myself to watch soccer even though i don’t like it as much as the other boys do, because that night there wasn’t any of exciting show to watched.

Suddenly, someone knocked my door. I sighed, it was raining and she was away to see her boyfriend, who could that be?

I get up and walked lazily to the door and opened it. For my surprise, she was standing there, her clothes was so damp, she looked like a lost puppy.

“What are you doing, here? Where’s Myungsoo?” I looked around but nobody’s there but her, she didn’t look up to me and just looked down instead and with her husky voice she said, “Can I come in?”

I could tell that she was crying, but she didn’t looked like she was going to tell me why so I kept my mouth shut and let her in.

 

She didn’t take a seat, I knew that she didn’t want my sofa to be wet and damp if she sits on it, she’s a polite girl. So, I took a brand new blanket from the closet and put it on her head.

“You better take a bath and go change. You can wear my sister’s clothes.” I said and she nodded then immediately walked to the bathroom. I went to my room to prepare her clothes and put it on the table outside the bathroom.

I waited for her in the living room, I stared at my television but I actually was absentmindedly thinking of what was happening to you.

When I was trying to think positive, she came out with the blanket hung on her neck. Her reddish lips curved into a very beautiful little small and she sat beside me, she folded her legs and hugged it and she rested her head on my shoulder. My cheeks went very warm and probably red too.

“Are you okay?” I eventually asked, and she slowly shook her head. I let out a very small sighed because she never likes it when I’m sighing in front of her. “Myungsoo didn’t come.” She spoke, I looked at her who didn’t look at me. Her eyes were englued to the television to avoid eyes contact with me, she ever said that my eyes always make her nervous.

“Why he didn’t?” I furrowed my eyebrows, to be honest I haven’t seen Myungsoo in real life but I have seen him from the picture that she saved.

She shrugged and straightened her body, “I don’t know, why would I know? He didn’t pick up my calls.”

“How did you know that he doesn’t want to come?”

“He send me a message which said that he couldn’t make it to come, but when I called he didn’t answer.”

There was silence filling the atmosphere around me and her.

“He’s a jerk.” I mumbled but I’m sure she could hear it well, “why did you say that?” she finally looked at me but with a furious gaze. “I saw him with another girl. That was when he didn’t reply your message. The night when you were crying in the cafe, when I was buying ddukbboki for you.” I explained as clear as possible to make her understand my point but she kept that furious face on.

“You even haven’t seen him in real life. Why are you so sure that it was Myungsoo?” Her voice heard shaky and I knew that she was about to cry but she tried her best to hold it. The fact that her boyfriend didn’t come to see her and my sudden information about her boyfriend who’s suspected cheating from her, were probably made her down.

“I am very sure that it was him! I have seen his face for like billions time in your phone wallpaper, of course I can tell when I see him.” I persisted.

Her chest was panting in emotional, she stood up, “I don’t know what makes you think that Myungsoo is cheating from me, but I am sure that he is not and will never do that. Myungsoo is a nice person and I think you haven’t knew him long enough to know that.” She rebutted and walked to my room and came out with my hoodie and her purse.

I sighed, she always does that when she’s angry at me. She will goes home and not calling me for weeks until Myungsoo hurts her and she will immediately goes to me. It’s not that I don’t like the way she act, I am totally understand her and why does she do that, but that was not the right time to mad at me and goes home.

“Where are you going?” I asked, “home.” She answered bluntly and before he really went out from my house, she turned around, “I will give back your hoodie later.” And she left with just that.

I let out a very heavy sigh and I sat on the sofa, I covered my face with my palms in frustated. *Should I just not say it at the first place?*

*I’m a fool... I shouldn’t have said it to her.*

***

Like what I expected, she didn’t give me any call and I actually getting used with that. But that doesn’t mean I didn’t worry of her.

It was September and rain was starting to pour the city of Seoul again, the rain was harder and swifter than yesterday. I didn’t watch tv because there were lightning strike every now and then.

I heard a knock from my front door, there were so many lightnings I barely could hear the knock sound. I opened the door and found her again, stood in front of my porch with a raincoat covered her. Again and again she was so wet and damp but she covered her head with the hoodie. She didn’t look down, she looked straight at my face and I could see her eyes were so red and so did her nose and cheeks. She was trembling and she suddenly hugged me, and I didn’t know what was happening to her so I just hugged her back and patted her back.

“What is happening? Are you all right?” I asked and she shook her head decisively and burried her face in my chest, “I am not, I am not very all right.” She asnwered with her typically after crying voice. “Let’s go in, I will make you a hot chocolate.” I loosened my hug and she loosened hers too.

“Wait here...” I went to the kitchen to make a hot chocolate and went to my room to take a warm and thick blanket from the closet and went back to the living room. She was shivering on the sofa. I smiled at her cute behaviour. I put the cup of hot chocolate on the table and gave the blanket to her.

“Suit yourself, make yourself comfortable. Here’s a hot chocolate for you, I hope it can help you to calm down.” I sat beside her and handed her the hot chocolate, “thanks...” she sipped the hot chocolate. Her blue-ish lips slowly turned redder and redder as she finished drinking the hot chocolate.

 

“Are you feeling better?” I asked, and she nodded and smiled.

“So, do you mind to tell me what was happening to you before you got here?” I asked carefully and she nodded her head again.

“You are right... About yesterday.” She mumbled, I tilted my head “hmm... What’s that about?”

“Myungsoo was cheating on me all along. Today, he asked me to go out with him but I didn’t meet only him. He was with that girl, I don’t know if that girl is the one who you caught walking with Myungsoo then. But he said that he couldn’t continue our relationship because he decides that he wants to marry that girl, he had a relationship with me but he already had a fiance. He’s a total jerk, isn’t he?” Her voice heard shaky, and her body trembled again. I pulled her into a hug again, and I her hair softly. “If you want to cry, just cry...” I whispered and she started to hiccuping and crying in my hug. “Myungsoo is a jerk, a monster, a... a very...” She couldn’t continue her words because I pressed her head deeper to my chest, I didn’t want her to yell at her ex, it’s not nice.

She didn’t say anything else but cry, her cry grew louder and louder before finally she was over it and pulled herself from the hug.

“Are you feeling better?” It was the second time I ask her that question and she nodded at that question again, “thanks for always be there for me whenever I need you.” she added that after the nod. I nodded too and replied, “nevermind, that’s what friends are for, right?”

It felt like I wanted to chew and take back my words, I don’t want to be just friend. But, if it’s all for the best, I don’t mind to keep our friendship on track. As long as you need me and close to me, I’m okay... Because I need you too and want to close to you.

 

“I’m sorry...” She mumbled, I looked at her “what did you say?”

“I said, I’m sorry... I always go to you whenever i’m in trouble, and leave you once i’m happy again. Everything just seemed so unfair, I just noticed now. I hope you will forgive me.” She said with a hopeful gaze, I looked at her and smiled, “you never did anything wrong, why would I forgive you?” she hit my arm playfully, “I’m serious!” and both of us chuckled.

“I am serious too. You never did anything wrong, as long as you need me I will be there for you and you don’t have to feel uneasy about that because I am happy to be with you.” I smiled, *because I like you...* I mentally whispered.

Suddenly, her face turned red and I didn’t know why.

“You... Really like me?” She asked and I widened my eyes because of that, did I accidentally tell her my feeling?

 

“Well... Umh... That’s...” I stammered, didn’t know what to say. If I say that I like her, wouldn’t that be so awkward?

I was still trying to think for the best answer when suddenly she hugged me with a smile on her face. I could feel myself blushing.

“Thank you... Thank you for liking me... I like you too...” She said and pulled away, she looked at my self with a wide smile plastered on her face and it made me smile too.

“Let’s try for the best for us.” She smiled, “yeah, let’s try...” I smiled back at her.

 

Maybe she hasn’t moved on from her past love, yet. Maybe she’s not ready to welcome a new love. But I will still waiting for her, no matter it takes, I love her and always do.

Whatever happens, whatever it takes to wait for her, the only thing that she and all of you should know is...

 

I will stay for her.