It started out as the night like every other night. Practicing with the crew and doing some lame . Everyone would be all sweating their butts off just for our very first performance at Music Bank. JYP took me out of Seattlefor this and I guess I agreed because it was all about my real culture and my mom approved of this anyway.

It was out 4^th year together as a group and we’re finally debuting as one. It was our last day of practice before our performance on Music Bank. Everyone was feeling anxious. Some of us couldn’t even sleep. Being the leader, I tried comforting them but they could all see I was just as nervous as they were. Taecyeon was the most nervous as he kept practicing the routine for Again & Again for what seems like a thousand times.

“YAH! Listen to me. Everyone won’t be doing their best if they won’t sleep. Now go sleep or I won’t let you go on Music Bank!”

“Arasso, Jay.” All of them said in unison. Somehow, a smile of pride came on my face. One by one went on their bed and lights were off. I cuddled in my blanket and let my eyes close.

Q(o.o)Q

 

“RING! RING!” My alarm clock rang at five in the morning. Everyone was still sound asleep. I got off my bed and went to warm up. I filled up a bottle with water, brought my hand towel, plugged in my iPod and wore my track shoes. I got out and went for a jog. I passed by a few familiar shops such as the bakery, the convenience store and the small bookshop. I jogged towards the heart of Seoul. No human other than working adults would be awake now, so I doubt fangirls would come and bring their love letters. I stopped at the familiar bench of a park and rest. I drank a few gulps of water and looked at the wonders of nature.

 

Suddenly, a girl-who I assumed was a fan-came up to me with an album and a permanent marker. I looked up at her and I saw her beaming smile. It made me happy and giggled that she was awake at this time.

 

“What’s your name?” I asked with a gentle smile that made the girl go, “OMG” which made me giggle.

 

“Ah~ Cheonun Fernanda imnida” Her cheeks turned to a bright red when she talked to me. Ah, kyopta~

 

I signed her name with a small message on the album, “Fernanda sshi, Anneyong!”

 

I didn’t know what else to write but I needed to head back for some breakfast and a little more practice with the boys so I said goodbye and jogged my way back.

 

Q(o.o)Q

 

When I got back, most of the boys were already awake. Wooyoung, Junsu, Taecyeon and Chansung. Nichkhun and Junho were still sound asleep. I saw some typical Korean dishes and went to guess who cooked it. I took out some bread, meat, sauce and vegetables and made a sandwich. The boys just stared at me and I smiled.

 

“This is how you do it in Seattle.” I said it with a slight pride. The boys laughed and continued eating their dishes.

 

“That’s why you’re small.” Taecyeon teased. So he playing with my height now? I laughed. I got used to being small all my life, especially when I was in high school. I didn’t care what people thought about the way I looked or how tall I was, I just wanted them to respect my music and everything else.

 

When sleeping prince Nichkhun and the other Jun twin were awake, had a steady breakfast and all of us had a nice bath and smelled good, we made our way down to JYPBuildingfor our final few practices.

 

We stank of sweat and were wiped out after what seemed like our gazillion practice. We were left with only two hours before our very first live performance. We went home and had a nice shower to get ready for our performance.

 

Q(o.o)Q

 

We were all anticipating for our turn on the brightly lit stage. The stylists put make-up our faces, styled our hair and changed us out to our performance clothes. We were biting nails and shaking legs, anxiously waiting for one of the stage crew to call us out to get ready backstage…

 

“2PM! Get ready in five.” The stage crew shouted for us. We got to the side of the stage and as the MCs called us out, we hopped on the stage and gave our best. The crowd went wild and sang along with us. They screamed louder when the song ended and shouted all of our names, one by one.

 

When we left the stage, a girl group was up next. I knew them from a distance, our sunbaes. Seo Nyuh Shi Dae were called out and they sang their infamous song, “Gee~” All of us went to watch through the television screen installed in our waiting room. The girl with the blonde locks stood out from the group. It could be because of her hair or maybe it was because of her pretty eyes when the camera man closed up on her. The boys seemed interested on them too but we were too engrossed with their performance to ask each other anything. When everything was done and cleared, the boys and I went to had some late dinner at a local restaurant nearby.

 

Coincidently, the Seo Nyuh Shi Dae girls came by too. They sat at the table across us and kept stealing glances at us whenever they could and the boys did the same. Being fed up with the lovey dovey stares the two groups were giving each other, I just went up to them.

 

“Anneyong Haseyo, cheonun Jay imnida.” The girls giggled. The blonde one was the most adorable. The girls introduced themselves one by one and I found out the blondie’s name, Jessica. What a sweet name. “Put yourself together, Jay.” I thought to myself. I smiled at introduced them the boys that were still dumbfounded by my weird action. They just smiled and waved when they thought I was pointing towards them. I told the waiter to change our seats beside the girls. He seemed pretty pissed off but did it anyway. The boys switched their seats and had a little get-to-know moment with all the girls. I tried paying attention but my eyes were fixed on one girl alone. Jessica. Everyone managed to exchange numbers but I only gave mine to Jessica. We all left and separated our ways.

 

Q(o.o)Q

 

Days passed by and the boys were all happy with every moment when Seo Nyuh Shi Dae called them or there was a performance with them but Jessica still hasn’t called me yet. After every performance, the two of us would just wish each other “Good Luck” or “That was great!” and nothing more…

 

My phone silently waits for her call alone.

 

Q(o.o)Q

 

As everyday passed as if she never existed, days got worse and worse. From the horrible Myspace message to other things that somehow got me involved.

 

Soon after, I had to fleet from Korea. I made up my mind of never coming back unless it was important and JYP even agreed with my decision. He cut me loose and before I knew it, I was on my way to Seattleagain. My life got slightly better although I read the news on fans hating on 2PMand JYP because of me. I couldn’t help but feel a little guilty on the topic but what could I do? I do all my usual routines that I always do, morning jog, breakfast, dance practice with AOM etc… I slowly forgot everything that happened in Koreabut I could never forget about her. About Jessica.

 

Q(o.o)Q

 

I woke up to the usual smell of bacon and eggs in the kitchen and hurriedly, got downstairs and ate up the yummy breakfast MummyParkmade for me. I went to shower and changed to get ready for practice with AOM. I said bye to my mum and left. I walked passed the usual coffee store and clothes shops and tried to practice the BBOY routine in my head.

 

Suddenly, my phone rang. I figure it could be Dial Tone or Cha Cha but I froze on my spot as soon as I saw the caller ID.

 

“정수연” (t/n: Jung Su Eon is Jessica’s real name.)

 

I picked up the call to be welcome by the sweet sound of her angelic voice.

 

“Yeoboseyo? Jay?”

 

“Ne. Why are you calling for?” I asked friendly yet very, very curious. Out of nowhere, she calls me up…

 

“I just want to know, how are you?”

 

“I’m good. Living with the crew and stuff. Uh, so, how are you?”

 

“Good to hear. I’m alright. Do you mind turning around?” I furrowed my eyebrows. What a weird request but I did and dropped my phone on the spot. She’s there. She is really there.

 

She walked up to me, bowed and greeted me in the typical Korean way. I couldn’t believe it, she’s there! I hugged her tight. I couldn’t careless about our friend-friend relationship. After a whole minute of hugging her, I realized she didn’t struggle out of it at any point of time. I looked at her face and she smiled wide.

 

“Nice to see you too…kekeke~” She said after awhile of silent staring. I giggled and we headed off to the nearest starbucks there was. We ordered some coffee and cakes and had a long chat when my phone vibrated. Now, it was Dial Tone with an angry text message about why I’m not in the practice room and such. I just texted him I was with a very old friend etc, and he let me off.

 

“You here alone?” I asked realizing her girls weren’t with her.

 

“If you look around properly, you should spot them one by one. I’ll help you. Yoona is behind that plant and Taeyeon is at the newspaper stand… Find the rest.” I giggled every time I spotted them one by one. They came out and sat next to us after Jessica told them they could get out of their hiding spots. We talked a little more and I invited them to the practice room with AOM.

 

Everyone went from shy to friendly and started dancing like it was a club. I taught Jessica some moves and we were really hitting it off.

 

Q(o.o)Q

 

Days pass and before all of us knew it, Seo Nyuh Shi Dae’s ended their vacation in Seattleand had to go back to Seoul. I went to the airport and sent them off. Before they left I stole Jessica away from the girls and crashed my lips onto hers. I nibbled her bottom lip and she opened . I let my tongue in and it danced with hers in sync. After what seemed like the whole world stopped just for us, we broke off our endearing kiss. I passed to her a ring I made a few days ago just for us. She hugged me tight and whispered I love you’s and I’ll miss you into my ear. I saw her tear up and I wiped them away with my thumb as I cupped her face to kiss her one more time. We interlocked our hands and walked back to the worried looking girls.

 

“So you stole her. Ah~ what’s that? OMG! KYAAAAAAA~” Taeyeon said and followed by the rest as they saw our couple rings. We just giggled and hugged each other when finally it was time for their flight. I hugged all the girls but kissed my Jessica on her forehead. I waved goodbye as they left into the departure hall. When they couldn’t be seen from my side anymore, I left with a heavy heart. Part of me wants to go back and chase her but another part was to stay in Seattlefor awhile more.

 

When I got home, I couldn’t resist but switch on my laptop and webcam myself singing Nothing On You by B.OB. This was for her. I uploaded it to my newly made account in Youtube and prayed that she would see it through the news. I went to bed and hugged my pillow really tight and fell asleep.

 

Q(o.o)Q

 

I woke up to a phone with a text message from Jessica saying she loved my video. I smiled and got online to see the comments laid out. In less than a day, more than a thousand comments and subscribers on that video. I couldn’t help but feel like the Park Jaybeom from Korea. I edited my profile properly and tagged myself in the different names people would normally call me.

 

I told my mum everything about Jessica and this and that and she smiled from ear to ear. She told me to go practice with AOM soon after while she prepared dinner. I did and got home sweaty and happy.

 

MummyParkwas sitting on one of the dining chairs and not moving. She just sat there smiling at me. I got on one of the chairs and passed me a white envelope. I opened it and quickly hugged her tight. I went up and packed my bags and ate dinner with MummyParkbefore leaving.

 

“This boy has finally grown up… I wish him the best in Korea.” MummyParkthought while she saw me leaving…

 

I got on the plane and felt happy about the fact I was staying in Koreafor a few days to see Jessica.

 

Q(o.o)Q

 

I woke up from the plane ride, jet-lagged. I made sure people wouldn’t notice me by wearing shades and wearing thick coats. I took a cab to a hotel and checked in. I went to start walking around the stores nearby and getting some grubs to eat. I called up Jessica but she didn’t pick up. I guess she’s busy. I went back to the hotel and sent text messages to her. After catching on with some Korean dramas, I fell asleep.

 

Q(o.o)Q

 

The sunlight that beamed into the hotel room woke me up and I checked my phone. It was nine in the morning and still no reply from Jessica. I went to shower and went for a small walk towards the SM building. I called Jessica again but still no answer. I went into the building as an anonymous guy who wanted to speak to SHINee but went to see SNSD instead.

 

I didn’t catch them. Suddenly, someone blindfolded me.

 

After walking a while, the blindfold was taken off. I flick my eyes to adjust to the sudden bright lighting. A cake in the middle and balloons everywhere.

 

“Surprise! MummyParktold us you were coming.” The familiar sound said. Taeyeon?

 

Suddenly, someone’s soft lips crashed onto mine. Her blonde hair was a distinct feature and I couldn’t help but hug her tight. I finally got to hold her again. As we celebrated for no apparent reason, Jessica grabbed me and brought me out from the havoc party. She held me tight and told me to never let go. She laid kisses all over me. I couldn’t help but kiss her lazily on her lips. She smiled and we stood in that position for awhile. Her body molded with mine and the heat from her was very comforting.

 

Q(o.o)Q

 

I woke up in my hotel room and got straight to the shower. I went for my usual morning jog and got newspapers on the way back. I bought breakfast and lay on my bed.

 

I ate my breakfast and read the newspaper like what FatherParkwould’ve done. I almost choked on my food when I saw Jessica and me in the gossip column except they couldn’t recognize who I was.

 

“Jessica Jung from Seo Nyuh Shi Dae with mysterious man. How long has this scandal gone on?”

 

I called up Jessica about it and her cute morning voice welcomed me. She stood silent when I broke the news out to her. I assured her everything will be fine but I could hear her worry.

 

Q(o.o)Q

 

The news kept on haunting Jessica like wildfire. She finally cracked. I tried comforting her in every way I could, texting, calling and meeting but it would make the situation worse.

 

The day of my nightmare came when Jessica came personally up to me just a day before I was leaving to Seattle. She left her ring on my bed and left with only the words “We should break up”. I could hear her sob but I was too stunned to stop her from leaving. I curled into a ball and hid under my blanket.

 

“What did I do? Why can’t I ever be happy?” I thought to myself. Suicide replayed on my mind but I knew I could pass through this just like how I left 2PM. My chest hurt, my heart filled with burning pain. I packed my bag for my departure tomorrow and kept Jessica’s ring in my toiletries bag.

 

Q(o.o)Q

 

I got to the airport and flew off with no one wishing me farewell or anything. It really felt like the time I had to leave 2PMexcept with no fangirls and paparazzi.

 

I came back home to a comforting mother who heard everything that happened from Taeyeon’s distant call.

 

I couldn’t help but tear up a little.

 

Q(o.o)Q

 

Days passed by like water running from the tap and my life was back to its usual state. I made BBOY and song covers and uploaded them onto Youtube. I made a collaboration with Dumbfoundead and Clara to an original song called  “Clouds”. It was all about my life in Korea with 2PM and Jessica Jung…