It’s 4.30 PM and I have been standing in front of this café for 30 minutes, patiently waiting for my date. The street is filled by the busy-looking people who just got off from work, eager to quickly return to the warm place called home. I am eager too because I’m about to meet my love, my own home, the place where I belong. The rain is starting to drop and the pedestrians are making their way home faster. Some others are looking for shelters, trying to shield themselves from the upcoming rain. I glance at my wrist watch for the –nth time, and my mind starts to wander. I recall about how we– my lover and I –become like what we are now. Beaten by the norm, suffering from people’s scrutinized gazes, and yet we’re happier than ever, because we know that we always got each other’s back to depend on.

My name is Wufan, and I used to be an idol. I sigh in a relief when I see a brunette head in the crowd, saying “excuse me” repeatedly to the bystanders and rushing towards me. That is Chanyeol, my lover. He used to be in the same idol group as me. And yes, it’s a “he”.

“You’re late.” I say to him when he finally stands in front of me, sweating bullets from all the running. I absent-mindedly brush the sweat behind his fringe and tuck his hair back between his elf ears.

“…I’m sorry,” he grins cheekily and leans more for my touch.

Oh, there, I can see one person already staring at us from inside the café, looking rather shocked and disgusted. I’m not surprised again by how people look at us, judging. We could only care less about what people think about us. This is the path that we chose anyway.

“Let’s get out of here, before the rain is getting heavier.” I take his outstretched hand and we run together under the drizzle. I only let go of his hand when we enter our favorite coffee shop in town, nodding curtly to the usual waiter behind the counter. This is one of the few places where I can enjoy my day with Chanyeol without being judged and scrutinized.

“The usual, sir?” the waiter asks us cheerfully.

“What do you want for today, Yeol-ah?” I tug his arm lightly and he turns his eyes at me, looking confused. “What do you want to drink?”

“I’ll take frappucino for today, and maybe a cheesecake.” He smiles and the waiter just chuckles lightly at my boyfriend’s antics, turning his gaze towards me. “Just the usual for me, please.”

We sit on our usual place by the window, the rain is still pouring outside. Chanyeol fixes his jacket and shifts on his chair, eyes never leave me.

“Are you cold?” I reach for his hand on the table and lightly brush his knuckles. He shakes his head and smiles, returning my squeeze on his palm.

The crinkling sound of the door bell is heard, indicating that there’s customer entering the coffee shop. From the corner of my eyes I can see two girls giggling their way toward us. One of them catches me staring at her and she gasps dramatically, tugging her friend’s coat urgently.

“Hey, look! Isn’t that Wufan and Chanyeol from that boy band? The gay ones?” she yelps and screams, asking for attention. “Oh my God, you’re right! That’s them! They are not in the band anymore. Don’t you know that they’ve been kicked from their management? I’m not surprised though. They are so gay~” the other girls says loudly, not bothering to care that I can hear all of her words.

I can feel Chanyeol’s tightening grasp on my hand as I close my eyes, trying to shut out the girls’ presence from my mind. “It’s okay.” I say quietly.

Chanyeol is lowering his head and I can see his lips quiver, a small whimper comes from him. He’s not usually like this, I guess the rain today makes him feeling rather down. He usually just shrugs his shoulders and tries to convince himself that everything’s alright, everything is fine.

“Hey, Chanyeol? Dear? Look at me.” He looks at me with those glossy eyes, tears threatening to fall anytime. “Everything is okay. We’ve been okay, right?” He nods weakly.

“We should be okay.” I pat his plump cheek and smile, masking my own insecurity.

Chanyeol keeps silent for couple of minutes and I decide to prompt him.

“So, tell me, what kind of news you want to tell me? You sounded so hyper this morning.”

He looks up and there’s a glint of excitement returning in his beautiful eyes. “Do you remember the scholarship application that I showed you last month, Wufan?”

“Hmm.. what about it?” I’m in the middle of stirring my own coffee when realizations struck me. “Did you get accepted?”

Chanyeol is bobbing his head excitedly, a wide smile spreading on his face. Even though he’s not a part of music industry anymore, Chanyeol never gives up on his dream. He thinks that maybe, someday, his talent will be recognized in another place. I’m sincerely happy for him, he deserves it.

“Where is it again? I think I forgot which university it is.”

“University of Toronto, Canada.”

My smile falls immediately. Canada is far, and the airplane fare is expensive. I can’t afford to visit him as much as I want. Maybe I can go there after a year? I sigh heavily, already imagining a year without Chanyeol.

“Will you come with me, Wufan? Please?” Chanyeol grabs my hand and looks at me expectantly.

“It will need a lot of money, dear. Beside I don’t have a scholarship like you.”

“Let’s work for it together, okay?”

My defense cracks when I see the way Chanyeol gazes at me. It always like this, Chanyeol demands and I will gladly comply.

“I’ll think about it. And can you please do something for me in return?”

“yeah~! What do you want me to do?” his smile is so blinding that I need to look away for a second.

“Marry me?”

The silence after that is unbearable because Chanyeol looks so surprised that his mouth is hanging open widely. I also am surprised with my sudden proposal. I don’t expect to propose him in a rainy day like this, moreover in a coffee shop.

“b-but we can’t, Wufan.” He sighs before continues, “You know why we can’t.”

And that hopeless look is coming back in Chanyeol’s eyes, the look that I first saw when our relationship was found out by the media. It was a quiet morning and I just had a date with Chanyeol the night before in a park when suddenly my phone rang up with countless calls from the company, friends, and Chanyeol himself. I still remember Chanyeol’s trembling voice when he told me that there’s a picture of us kissing in my car all over the media. The company called us and urged us to hold a conference press immediately, setting things up like we both were drunk and didn’t know why that picture happened. But of course, I rebelled. If I didn’t rebel back then maybe our story would never have been like this. At that time I said that Chanyeol was my lover and I was proud of having him. The so-called-scandal was being blown up out of proportion, making us looked like we’re committing a grave sin for being together. The effects were immediate, people started to outcast us, and even our band members were behaving awkwardly with us. Those who had been our friends turned their backs and treated us like we’re some sort of infectious germs. Fingers pointing, cuss words, and weird gazes were thrown at us mercilessly. In the end, I only had Chanyeol to lean on, and so did him. It’s still crystal clear in mind what I said to him when he’s desperately depressed and started to blame himself for loving me.

“People can be so cruel. Sometimes they take us to a dead-end instead of leading to the right way. So how could they blame us if we can't go back to the right path? They made us like this, stuck in the dead-end with nowhere to go. But Chanyeol, dear, this is not a dead-end. Because we'll find a way, a long way to different world, where I could love you for eternity.”

Maybe, maybe in Canada we’ll find another way.

“Not here, baby, but there. In Canada.” I reach for his hand again and search for his eyes to look at me.

“Oh.” It’s the only response I got as Chanyeol is still processing the information in his brain. “Oh.”

“So, how is it? Is it a yes or a no?” his eyes are getting moist and I wonder if he will reject me. “Chanyeol? I’m sorry if this is so sudden, I should at least get some flowers and maybe a ri–?”

Chanyeol disrupts my stutter and says, “I’m sorry, Wufan …but I guess you’ll have to spend the rest of your life with me now.” Tears are now falling freely on his cheeks.

“Thank you, Chanyeol. I promise I will spend the rest of my life with you only.” I lean and peck the corner of his lips lightly. I don’t even care with a loud snort coming from the two girls earlier.

Because Chanyeol is the phoenix to my dragon, the flame that keeps me alive. The Yin to my Yang, the one that keeps me balanced. An everlasting love.

**

I wake up with a start because my phone is ringing loudly. I chuckle to myself when I look at the caller ID, ‘Baby Phoenix’ is on the screen. “Good morning, Chan–?”

“Wufan, have you checked the newspaper?” Chanyeol sounds panicked on the line.

“No, I just woke up. What happened?” I stifle a yawn and take my laptop from my nightstand, checking the online newspaper.

“How did they know, Wufan?”

There’s a big headline in the first page, [BREAKING NEWS] The Former Members of EXO, Wufan and Chanyeol, will tie the knot in Canada. Date is soon to be confirmed.

I can only stare at the title blankly. This is not the reality I wanted. I want everything to go smoothly so we can leave this country as quiet as possible. It’s not that I want to run away from the reality, I just don’t want Chanyeol to be hurt again.

“Wufan?”

“I think we should meet and rearrange our plan. I’ll come over to your apartment?”

“No need, I’ll go to yours later. I need to go to my campus first to complete the document needed for the scholarship. Maybe I will finish in the evening, I’ll text you once I’m ready to go.” Chanyeol tries to keep his voice steady until he bids a quick “see you later!” and hangs up the phone.

Chanyeol’s text comes at 6.30 PM and the sky outside is already darkened. He told me that he’d directly come from his campus and be here in 20 minutes. I decide to go to the restaurant near my house so we can have a dinner together at my place.

It’s only been 10 minutes when my phone rings again.

“Yes, Chanyeol?”

“…..” There’s angry cursing on the line. “You disgusting jerk! How dare you steal Wufan from us! You ugly piece of !” And then the sound of flesh and bone hitting and cracking against each other.

“Chanyeol? What happened???” Somehow I can hear Chanyeol’s soft sobbing from here. “CHANYEOL!! WHERE ARE YOU?!”

I begin to run to his campus direction, looking wildly to the surrounding while keeping him to stay connected on the phone.

“…making Wufan into someone like you, insolent bastard! HOMO!” a female voice is spitting inappropriate words to Chanyeol.

I slow down when I finally hear Chanyeol’s voice. “…Wufan…. bridge…” and I know instantly where he is now. There’s a dark alley under the bridge near his university and Chanyeol is being bullied there. I run faster when the female’s voice comes again. “You’ve been calling Wufan? Annoying ! Man-!” and the line go off all of a sudden.

When I arrive in the alley, I can barely see Chanyeol’s body slumped on the ground. Several built-up men are kicking their big feet on Chanyeol’s stomach. I feel cold shiver down my spine as I scream, “CHANYEOL!”

They look up and I can see a familiar face in the crowd, a girly gasp comes piercing the night’s silence. That face has been so familiar in my days as a celebrity. My stalker.

I rush forward to help Chanyeol up from the ground, the big men are still hovering around Chanyeol and my stalker is just standing there dazed by my appearance. “What the hell do you think you’re doing?”

“He’s an evil, Wufan. He made you becoming one of him. He deserves to die!”

Fangirls sometimes take an extreme measure in order to “take care” of their favorite idol. Sometimes they think it will protect them, when in reality it doesn’t.

“Everyone has to die at some point. I love Chanyeol, and I already promised that I will spend to rest of my life with him. You should get the message.” I heave the fainting Chanyeol on my back and bring him to the hospital, leaving those people to think about what I said earlier.

**

I didn’t expect that my life will end when I already planned to start a new life with Chanyeol. What am I supposed to do when the one whom I promised to cherish forever suddenly gone and leave me alone?

Internal hemorrhage, they said. Operation will be too dangerous because his ribs were broken severely and we can only wait for him to wake up, they said. Love speaks eternity, but reality speaks separation. During two weeks I spent with Chanyeol in hospital, sitting quietly on his side and murmuring “we’ll find a way, Chanyeol. We always did, right?” even though he was in a comatose state. I promised him that we’ll find a way, and I’m stuck forever with him, so maybe this is the only way I can do for Chanyeol.

I stand in one of Han River most beautiful bridge and spread his ash in the flowing water down there. The night is chilly with the autumn breeze and this place was used to be our favorite hide-away in the midnight. The memories with Chanyeol are overflowing and suffocate me, it hurts.

Because, really, what a dragon could do when it already lost its flame? It can only flies. So I fly, embracing the soft wind and rushing towards the black pit of water below. Trying to find a way back to Chanyeol's side.

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oh my God can you believe I finish this monster amidst all of SMTown hypes?? >3<

I'm sorry for posting this so late.. *bows deeply*

unbeta-ed and unedited whatsoever, so pls forgive me if there's any weird wording, typo, or grammar error.. ><

thank you for reading and pls do leave a comment~ ♥