If there’s one thing Kim Taeyeon doesn’t want to forget in this world, it has to be Byun Baekhyun’s smile three years ago the first time she met him. It wasn’t anything planned beforehand. And she doubted even fate knew about it, how he just came walking into her life and pulled her out of the scary violent waves that kept threatening to swallow her, whole.

She was defeated, broken, everything the worst of humanity could offer her, and she was left dried waiting for something, anything that could save her.
She waited for so long, much too long there wasn’t an escape anymore and she was dragged to the last corner before giving up.
World around Kim Taeyeon wasn’t anything but finding ways to end her own life, if she could find subtle ways to breathe the last air and forgets what's been hurting her.

It didn’t even matter if the Heavens couldn’t accept her once she spreads her broken wings up there because she found earth is nothing but Hell itself.
And there’s nothing wrong with limiting the pain on Earth and go straight to what real hell waits to offer her. That, shows how broken she was.

Taeyeon didn’t like wearing short sleeves. She didn’t like exposing her forearm because she had enough of society’s judgement and the scars on her wrist would just give nothing but more reasons for people to push her onto the ground when she’s already staggering to find her way home.

What’s a home anyway? She never found the nerve to actually call someone’s comfort, her home.

Her parents were one of those that misjudged her, the families that never existed and she had always been that silent girl pushed around by people who deemed her a freak. It was so bad, she had come to make believe that she was definitely, nothing but a freak.

Her presence was a mistake by the Heavens. She shouldn’t have been born, nor did she have to be placed here walking so brokenly on Earth.
She deserved anything but love. Taeyeon learnt to deal with darkness, sleeping through the harshness of the cold world, lifting her head up once for hope but finding her way down faster from grief.

She was alone as far as her memories could take her, even ten years past, even five years past, she was nothing but miserable. It wasn’t like she never tried to get up and brush off the pain. She did, maybe it was her eighth time now and she was reasonable enough to continue standing up at her ninth fall but that was it.
Kim Taeyeon had enough.

 December 21^st, 2009, 11.19pm.

She stood behind the bridge, nothing in her hands but fear inside her chest. Suicidal notes are overrated, she thought. Taeyeon was giving up and letting the whole world judge her last act.
This was going to be her final chapter. If this was a play, she’d have the curtain falls on her once she jumped off the bridge and dived into the freezing cold water that would suffocate her and ripped life out of her broken body.

She trembled, and she could still recall vividly how hard she actually shivered. But Taeyeon didn’t know if it was out of fear of the unknown, or if she’s just thrilled to finally let go of everything. Nonetheless, she knew for sure, that she was too wrecked to be fixed by anything in this world.

But oh, how wrong could she be.

“People sometimes forget they don’t actually have wings to fly back up the moment they’re crashing down to the ground with regrets of not trying once again, you know.”

That was the one line that stopped her from stepping one last step forward before she almost fell into the vicious waves that were waiting to engulf her inside. Taeyeon felt the of hair at the back of her neck, her lips trembled in what was left unexplained.
She found her eyes gawking at someone, a stranger that showed her the one thing that she had long waited to see. A sincere smile.
A genuine curved of his lips with pearl whites that blend in with the crescents of his eyes.

His name is Byun Baekhyun.
She called him her saviour.

The days afterwards were giving glimpse of miracle to her. Baekhyun thought it was his words that halted her intentions but honestly what Taeyeon didn’t tell him was that, it was his smile that actually did the miracle. The genuine ever so sincere smile and she wasn’t even exaggerating.
Kim Taeyeon knows what’s a genuine smile because she had seen lots of fakes.

But she wasn’t easy. Maybe he did stop her from jumping off the bridge that night.

But she still had traces of broken pieces left unfixed in her heart, still wrecked and cold.
And Byun Baekhyun knew he was to be there more than to fix her.
She is a beautiful girl just too devastated behind the solemn mask she had wore for how long only God knows and he felt the urge to help her take off that mask forever.

Taeyeon wouldn’t admit he changed her life in a delicate way. She wasn’t even hung up to an ego or pride. Besides, she was thoroughly empty enough to deserve having anymore pride inside. She remembered the first text he sent here, that one morning that changed her life a little more. 
The words weren’t even a work of art but it was magical enough to lift her mood up to the sky, for once.

When you fall down nine times, stand up ten.

Baekhyun knew it wasn’t easy to unlock the door that she had kept close for so long.
She told him she was out of love to give, out of care to provide because she was really nothing different from a walking zombie. She had life out of her. But that’s just what she believes and Baekhyun doesn’t want her to believe such.
She was too beautiful to be left dry, alone, pushed to the edge.
She was far more precious than to be treated like this.

Taeyeon knew her heart was slowly healing when she woke up to letters and notes he left in her mailbox. She knew she was slowly getting the gist of what happiness felt like when she recited the whole lines he wrote for her every morning and felt little shots of electricity running through her veins. It felt weird at first considering how she thought she was already dead inside. But Taeyeon could admit it this time, she felt alive again.

It was summer 2010 when she finally let the sun shines on her, she let the rain poured down, washing off her miseries and sorrow and she let him interlaced their fingers together. The smell of coffee, the scent of roses and lavenders, the things she had missed out the whole life time she was in despair.

There was indeed, much more to life.

You’re beautiful so don’t let them tell you otherwise.

“No.” She breathed, “-it’s you who’s beautiful.”

And she meant it. Because really, how beautiful can someone like him be? When he could have run the world with happiness in his finger tips, might as well catch his dreams with his positivity but he chose to drop by in her life, fix the broken part in her instead.

And honestly, Kim Taeyeon didn’t know how a totally shattered heart could eventually starts beating again. If X-rays could demonstrate the physical of how badly wounded her heart was, she was pretty sure no doctor could heal it. She was literally dying.
Dying for everything; for love, for affection, for care, for smiles that are to be sincerely for her.

His smiles.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . 
 

“You do realise you’re actually creating a work of art that’s nothing less than a miracle, right?”

Taeyeon turned around with the paintbrush in her hands, stain of rainbow colours splashing across her short jeans when he came sitting next to her, eyeing what she called a doom of art while he deemed it a work of magic.
She cackled softly, “You’re just exaggerating things, Baekhyun. I’m no miracle worker.”
“Of course you’re not a miracle worker.” He said, almost a whisper and she couldn’t begin with how much she had liked the tone of his calming voice, a little husky but filled her with serenity.

“-You’re an angel descended from the Heavens I believe.”
“Oh, come on, Baekhyun, I’m not-“
“You just need to put on the wings, Taeyeon.”

From that very moment, she wasn’t sure if Byun Baekhyun is purely human or he’s a guardian angel God had secretly sent from above for her.

I’ll be there when you’re insecure, just to let you know that you’re always lovely.

 Taeyeon often heard that everything happened for a reason. Just like her smiles, he was her reason.
And to recall how he walked into her life, to save her was the reason.
Why is he always ever so charming, putting others before him, sharing that happiness that he could have enjoyed alone?

That too, Byun Baekhyun had his own reason.
And the reason to that,

He was actually dying himself.
 

“Why didn’t you tell me?!” her cries echoed throughout the silence that had been haunting the both of them for hours, minutes, seconds, no, she lost track of time and she couldn’t believe the Byun Baekhyun that was supposed to be smiling, to be healthy and beautiful, just lying there on the bed.

“Would it have make any difference, Taeyeon?” he questioned her, his softness was always there,

“-If you had known about this illness that’s slowly drifting me away from life, would you be smiling like you did the past few months? Or you’re just going to kneel by my side and cry because you think the world isn’t fair enough to let me live?”

Taeyeon couldn’t answer that but she probably knew deep inside that he was never wrong in anything. She couldn’t hate him for she had loved him too much and he has yet to know.
To think how he actually gave love and spread joy to everyone, every ounce of happiness in him, he shared them with the world, he shared his motivation with her. And it’s all because he wanted to live a life that’s worth dying for.

Kim Taeyeon couldn’t have been any more devastated than this to be honest.
But somehow she came to find, this devastation is somewhat different from the ones she once felt back then. It was heartbreaking but in a subtle way, she felt strong admiration for him.

And she felt that this phase wasn’t to be the end of a chapter in her book.
It was a start of a new one.

During the winter nights when he spent his days in the hospital, Taeyeon was there.
When he got bored of the same movies on TV, she would sing to him.

“You have a lovely voice.” He said merely audible between the coughs.
“I was actually in a band during high school.” She confessed, finally letting go of the past that hurt her.
“-It was once my dream, to sing that is.” She said.

“So sing.”
“Hm?”
She felt his cold fingers touching hers and she melted away when he smiles,
“Run after your dreams, Taeyeon. You’re still young and lovely.”

She would have agreed to that if only he wasn’t so pale and sick. She could have run after that dreams that she put halted years back, if only this man over here that had been her source of strength and will to survive, isn’t lying helplessly on this bed.

“I have faith to hold on to, Taeyeon…And I know this faith is somewhat strong enough to overcome the fears I have towards death.”
He uttered one night after he lost consciousness for a while and Taeyeon never really know real fear until she saw his head dropped against the side of the bed.

The doctors were running for emergency recovery and the nurses scurried away in panic.
He wasn’t supposed to die yet. The doctor said he had at least three weeks left.

And to remember how she actually knew it from the doctor’s mouth instead of Baekhyun himself because he said there wasn’t even anything good out of knowing how much time he had, she felt her heart sunk once again.

Baekhyun was resuscitated back to life that night but Taeyeon knew there’s always possibility that he could run out of luck next time. And she couldn’t seem to bring herself to even try imagining a way to accept that written fate once the time comes.

It was mid-winter 2011 and it was the night Baekhyun passed out again. This time, he went off longer and Taeyeon could have dried her eyes from crying too much, crying all night while she watched him struggling to breathe his last breath.

All the time she was next to him, she recalled, she remembered the first days they met. She recited the notes and beautiful words he had written for her as she clutched tightly to his hands. The drops of tears that dripped off her cheeks onto his closed eyes, she sobbed harder at the sight of his slowing chest movements.

Life is too short to be wasting your time for a frown. A minute of sadness means sixty seconds of happiness had been taken away from you. And trust me, life doesn’t worth these unnecessary sadness so I’ll say, stop contemplating, and start being.

She sang him one last song that night when the strength of his fingers slowly loosening the grip between her hands. His lips didn’t move but she heard his whisper of goodbye. Taeyeon knew that would be the last memory of him that would be constantly on repeat in her mind.

“Goodbye, Baekhyun.”
She whispered,  “-Please know that I love you.”

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . 

The sound of children running across the soil grounds, laughing and playing across the road heading uphill warm her heart as a smile, a sincere smile she learnt from someone years back, was plastered across her beautiful face.

The road that led to a familiar place she had last came almost a year ago, the same smell of fresh grass after the rain left scented dews, it was the scent of Mother Nature. When Taeyeon walked up to the end of the road, an open field of green grass welcomed her.
Light steps and a smile that never left her face, she walked in, closer, pushing the gate and her legs knew where to stop.

The flowers in her hands were tucked behind her, well, she was hoping he would like red roses.

“Sorry that it takes me a while to come here.” Her voice, softer but no one could deny the sentiment behind the same voice that once walked through the darkest thing life could offer and she found her way back on the real track again. And it was all because of him.

She stared at his beautiful face, the smile that never actually left her mind and the loud thump of heart that never leaves every time she sees him, she didn’t mind it at all.

“-How are you doing? Great?” She smiles with glitters in her eyes, “-I made you a song you know. Just, just in case you’d want to listen…” 
She knelt down, placing a portable media player down next to his photo across the gravestone and clicked on the play button.

Piano music filled the place and the breeze, as if being there to carry the song straight up to Heaven, straight up to him. Taeyeon closed her eyes when she felt the wind ruffling her hair, softly, gently, the same feeling as if it was his fingers that were caressing her.

“Baekhyun ah, do you know, every time I perform on stage, I always see your ghost around me and I’m not complaining. Because I know you’re actually watching over me from above, right?”
Her lips curved into a soft smile, a chuckle escaped ,
“-And thank you for being my strength, Baekhyun…You always said I’m beautiful but you really don’t know that you’re far more precious, don’t you?”

Her fingers slipped into the pocket of her jacket and she pulled out a piece of paper, traces of crease were visible but it was the letter she’d forever treasure. It was his last letter she found deep inside her mailbox he left two years ago and she only found it recently when she was emptying the box before moving out to a new place because it was stuck further back.

“And you wanna know one more thing, Baek?”
Taeyeon knelt down before his grave, her arms folded close to her chest,

“-Honestly…I’ve never fall out of love from you.”
Her voice singing in the song filled the silent background,

“…And really, I don’t intend on doing that either…And no, you’re not a narcissist. You’re really my hero, you know.” Her fingers rolled up the sleeve of her jacket. Taeyeon knew better that the scars on her wrist would remain there but still, she smiled.

Because, for once, she knew, this was what happiness is all about.

To find someone’s warmth and love as a place she could call home.

. . . . . . . . . .. 

To : My lovely Kim Taeyeon
From: Your hero, Byun Baekhyun (Sorry, I'm a narcissist at times :p)

If nothing else, I hope you know that I love you with all ounce of my being. I hope you realize your importance not only to me but to everyone who has been lucky enough to know you. I hope you know that when you're feeling down, I only ever strive for your happiness. I hope that you remember that no matter what, I'm here for you and I fully intend on staying in your life for quite some time. I hope you recognize the fact that I appreciate and adore you with no restraints and that this will never change.

_________________________________________________________________________________________________________

A/N : Baekyeon is a pretty adorable couple don't you think? And I'm sorry Baek has to die but hey, this is really inspiring..
To see how he lives the remaining time he has to give love without restraints. God bless his soul, really :')

And the letter is so sweet I have to include it there. It's not mine, I found it somewhere I don't remember and
I just thought it would fit in this one shot perfectly. Okay, that's all. I hope you lovely people would enjoy this fic and remember,
how broken you are, there's always hope so don't harm yourself.
Everybody deserves to be love and everybody is beautiful in their own ways so cheer up <33