“Will I ever get to watch the sunrise with you again?” I asked.

Your head was resting on my shoulder; my cheek pressed onto the crown of your head. Beyond us, the sun was setting down in the horizon; the sky looking like the warmest of paintings at the moment. The air was warm. The late afternoon glow was warm. Your touch was warm. But inside, I felt cold.

“Of course.” You answered optimistically. I didn’t expect any less. “I promise you, Kai. We’ll watch the sunset together again.”

“When?” It seemed like a stupid question but it slipped past my lips unabated. I needed some sort of reassurance.

“Soon.”

“How soon is ‘soon’, Sooyoung noona?”

                You lifted your head from my shoulders and your eyes locked with mine. You looked so beautiful at that moment with your hair dancing with the breeze, the sun kissing your skin. The little space between us disappeared and you gently pressed your lips onto mine. It wasn’t playful. It wasn’t passionate. Oddly enough, it didn’t feel like the goodbye I expected. It was more of a promise. It was innocent. It was simple. It was you and me, Sooyoung noona.

                Pulling your lips away from mine, a smile slowly spread across your face as you rested your forehead against mine; the tips of our noses touching. I wrapped an arm around your shoulder, keeping you close. You were going to leave me soon and I wanted to savor the remaining time I had with you right next to me, right within my grasp.

“Don’t forget to watch the sunset as many times as you can, Kai.” You whispered against my lips. “The day will come when I’m by your side again.”

I smiled at the memory; my eyes resting on the sunset ahead of me. This time around, I was alone. The warmth of the surroundings did nothing to dampen my longing. But still I found the will to smile. You were never one to break your promise. Only time would tell when I’d get to watch the sunset with you once more. It’d hadn’t been easy but I’d continue living, continue watching the sunset if it meant I’d see you again.

Nineteenth sunset down. How many more to go?

o-o-o-o-o

All I could do was cry.

                Many people would probably say that I was so lucky being handpicked to fly to Europe and pursue a modelling career other women could only dream of. For a time, I was certain that it really was what I wanted – that as long as I was young, beautiful, and unique, modelling would be the job that I’d love. For a time, it was true. Milan. Paris. Madrid. The beauty of the world, and the glamour of the fashion industry were beneath my feet, at the tip of my fingers

But they didn’t fill this huge void in my heart.

                I began to wonder if I made the right decision when I had to sacrifice you just to reach that goal. Money. Fame. Beauty. They would all fade at some point in time. But love? They said true love never dies. Would that be applicable to you and me? Sighing, I wiped the tears off my face, getting off the soft bed. I was in another hotel, in another city, in another country… as always.

                The carpet felt smooth and ticklish underneath my feet as I walked to the windows, pulling apart the curtains until the warm afternoon glow entered the cold room. The sky was too many shades of red, orange, yellow and pink as the sun began to set in the horizon. Though you were halfway around the world, I was certain that you were watching this sunset too. Did you feel as lonely, Kai?

I’d go through all the remaining hours of torturous beauty if it’d mean that I’d see you again.

Thirty first sunset down. How many more to go?

o-o-o-o-o

My brother said he was worried about me.

                Heechul hyung and emotions would never coexist well in one sentence but today was different. He said he was worried about me – that I was spending too much time watching the sunsets, waiting for a woman who might not return. Was he right, Sooyoung noona? I felt so stupid all of a sudden, realizing the possibility that I was waiting for something that wasn’t coming.

                The sun was setting again but I could barely pay attention. A sunset would usually mean the end to most people. Were you and I ending too? Every day, I told myself to be strong and patient and selfless but each day was a struggle. It was something that kept getting harder and harder.

I wondered when I’d break.

Would you be back to watch the sunset again with me before I do, noona?

Fortieth sunset down. How many more to go?

o-o-o-o-o

I’d be selfish again if I’d ask you this… but I’d do it anyway.

Wait for me, Kai. Just a little bit longer.

Forty second sunset down. How many more to go?

o-o-o-o-o

“I didn’t think this will happen this soon.” I murmured against the crown your head. Was this real?

“I realized it’s not worth it.” You whispered in reply. Your head rested against my chest and I could swear that it felt like you never left at the first place. We were staring at the sunset ahead again like we always did back then. “I’d rather be with you.”

I was silent for a moment. “So what’s going to happen now?”

“You and me… We’re going to live on.” You lifted your head to smile that perfectly breath-taking one of yours.

“You and me?”

“Forever.”

We were together again… and like what you said, it was going to be you and me forever.

But it wasn’t supposed to be like this.

o-o-o-o-o

“This just in – international rising star, model Choi Sooyoung, and a male identified as Kim Jongin were found dead at around 3:09 in the afternoon today. Police said that the car driven by Kim was about to get off the highway when the truck behind them lost control of the brakes and the truck crashed into their car. Kim Jongin was pronounced dead on arrival in the hospital; the police reporting that he had left his seat to shield the woman when they were about to crash. Choi Sooyoung passed away in the middle of the operation.”

o-o-o-o-o

Forty fourth sunset down. No more to go.