When classes was done and lunch time finally arrived, I decided that I should go to the cafeteria this time.

Trying to avoid Jonghyun as much as possible, I had spent a lot of time on the roof reading and doing some homework.

I had over the weeks found out that there were few, if not, none who knew about the roof, since I had never seen, nor found, anyone there.

 

Well, sometimes I caught a shadow moving in the stairs, but whenever I looked up, there was no one to be seen.

Somewhere in the back of my mind, I knew it was that guy who wanted to jump, the one on the picture hanging in my room. I felt bad, because it felt like I had taken away his free place, but I really needed to get away from Jonghyun.

 

Though today I had decided that I should see if I maybe could become friends with him, then the feeling of being stalked could go away. And yes, I realised that he sort of liked me, but if I started to friend zone him, then maybe his feelings would change (and maybe mine too). I wanted to know him better, because the feeling of not knowing someone was, at least my first move toward liking someone, and I did not want to like him!

Beside, I haven’t gotten the time to talk to Onew after the whole staring thing. He had promised me that we should ‘talk later!’

 

So I hurried over to their table and slurped down at Onew’s right side. He was discussing a subject with Minho, so he barely showed any signs that he had discovered my presence. I looked at Taemin who raised his brows amusingly and welcomed me with a smile. I smiled back, glad that I still was welcome.

He imitated the serious face Minho had, and I lifted my hand to hide the chuckle which escaped my mouth, though the boys didn’t seem to notice at all, and was still in depth in their conversation. Taemin stuck his tongue out, happy that he got that reaction from me and I rolled my eyes. He was like a little kid, sweet and cute.

 

Then suddenly I felt something tingle in the back of my neck, the same kind of feeling you get when someone is looking at you. I turned my head and looked at the tall figure hovering above me. It was him! The gay from the roof was standing in front of me, staring at me with an intense cold glare, the same glare Minho and the others had given that poor boy a few weeks ago.

I felt how the stare penetrated me, and I swallowed hard. The dark black eyes made my body stiffen, and my lips started to tremble in fear. I must have moved, because suddenly I felt Onew arm connect with my back, and I heard how their conversation fell silent.

 

“Key-ah,” Onew spoke, making the slender boy move his eyes over at the one speaking.

“Let me introduce you to my new friend, Amelia,” he said emphasizing ‘my’ and ‘friend’ as it had great importance that I was his new friend!

The boys eyes widened in surprise for a few seconds, before they returned back to cold. He huffed, as he was annoyed, and his heels and stormed away from the scene.

 

I was left baffled and unknowing to what that was all about? I turned to Onew for an answer, though he just smiled weakly and waved with his hand “Don’t worry about him, he’s just like that sometimes,” like that would explain everything.

And as easy as that he picked up where he last was, and he and Minho was again engrossed in their conversation.

I looked over at Taemin, because he would maybe know what was going on, though that I found out, was useless. He was eating his rice and focused on the phone in his hand, like he was trying to ignore me.

 

Why are they acting like that was nothing? I screamed in my mind when, it suddenly hit me.

 

I knew exactly why he left. The reason was simple, and I, of all people should have seen that sooner. It was simply because I knew! I knew what had happened on the roof, I was a threat to his privacy. He was avoiding me as much as he could, and here I was, taking, not only his roof, but also his friends. I too would have stomped away from that. I had actually; with Jonghyun. He also knew!

 

The realization made me sad, and I felt guilty. Poor him, as he didn’t have enough to think about.

The conversation from when I got my bellowed picture of him from Onew captured my mind.

 

I can count on one hand the times I have seen him smile...

 

“He is quite interesting, isn't he?” Onew whispered besides me. I turned to face him. The look he had was similar to a painter that had found the inspiration for his masterpiece.

 

“Mhm,” I agreed

 

“Onew,” I spoke after thinking a little. “Why do he have so much pain in his eyes,” I asked as that had been something that had been occupying my mind ever since that day on the roof.

 

Onew looked toward where the guy had left then looked back at me. The two other boys were chatting and joking, not paying much attention toward us. He let out a sigh before answering.

 

“He hasn't had an easy life, that guy. He lost his parents at a young age, and he never came over that,” he said with sorrow in his voice, like he cared a lot about him.  

 

“After that, nothing has been good to him. He have been in more foster homes than I can count, he has lost his friends in fire, car crashes, you name it! So really, he have given up on life, I think.

He never let anyone come so close that he starts to care for them, afraid that he might have to lose them. That’s why he holds us on an arms length, that’s why he’s so distance,” Onew finished and spaced out. It sounded like he really wanted to be Keys friend.

 

“That’s horrible!” I said, getting a agreeing nod from Onew. Now I easily could understand why he had those black eyes!

 

“But, I have seen him happy once,” Onew said dreamingly with a smile on his lips. His eyes made my heart melt and I felt myself smile as well.

 

“For about a year ago he meet this beautiful girl. She looked like an angel sent from heaven, just for him! She managed to put a smile on his face, and we all saw a different side of him,” Onew said and lingered at the memory. I felt how his words softened me, and I started to really felt like I had to make Key smile once more, I just had to. The bond I had felt before, grew stronger.

 

“That was the first time I have seen him smile,” Onew spoke softly. Then his expression changed and he looked over at me again.

 

“That’s why I know what happened to him. because he told me his story when he was in love. And he needed someone to talk to. He and I became close friends,” he said and smiled. I smiled back.

Then he sighed and turned his attention toward the food on his plate and started to eat.

 

I blinked my eyes confusedly. Was that it? Is the story done? But why is he so angry now then? If it ended there, he should be happy and not like that!

 

“And then what? I questioned, wanting Onew to continue. He looked up from his food and sighed.  

 

“His past came and hunted him once more,” Onew said with a distanced voice.

“And?” I questioned impatient, as I could not believe that that was the end of the story.  He gave me a weak smile and ruffled my hair. I stared at him, even more confused.

Then he stood up and so did the others around our table.

 

“See you later Amelia,” he said before walking toward his next class, leaving me unknowing and just wide eyed.

 

That could not be the end of the story!? It just couldn’t!

 

~

 

”Amelia”, I hear him shout in an angry voice. I try to disappear even more. My body is shivering and I’m scared to death. I swallow and try to make my legs to work.

 

”Amelia”, he says again this time in a more calm voice. ”Come out, come out, wherever you are”.

 

I feel tears run down my cheeks and my lips are trembling. I have to get away from here.

 

I try to stand up without making any sounds. I know it's a stair in the end of the room which would lead me to people.

 

How could I be so stupid following him here to this god lost place. I sigh and take a deep breath.

 

I have to run. Fast! I know that he is much faster than me, and if I don’t run at the right time, I can just give up on everything. If he gets me in his grip once more, he won’t let me go so easily.

 

I feel fear rush through me and my feet feels like jelly.

 

”Amelia”, he purrs in a soft voice. I notice that he is only a few meters to my left.

 

I take a deep breath. Its now or never.

 

Then I start running toward the stairs.

 

My body jolted out of its sleep, and I sat up in my bed breathing heavily, like I had just finished a marathon. I was covered in sweat and my hair was glued to my scalp. I swallowed and tried to calm down my breathing.

 

It was just a dream, just a dream, I told myself and layed down again.

I could feel tears running down my cheeks and I couldn’t hold in the sobs. I curled myself into a ball and hugged my knees. I had been having those dreams ever since it happened.

 

“I hate you,” I whispered and let myself cry out the fear and heartbreak I was feeling.

 

Why did my mind have to remind me of the worst day in my life, even when I was asleep?!

 

I rolled over and looked at the watch, it showed 3am. I grunted and wiped away the tears before I closed my eyes and tried to sleep again.

After tossing and turning for a while, I gave up and walked downstairs instead.

I always used to make some rose tea whenever I couldn’t sleep, so I put the kettle on and waited for the water to boil.

 

After pouring it in a cup, I placed myself in the couch and looked at all the cars moving in the street outside our window. After sitting there awhile, I felt how the warm liquid eased the tension in my body, and soon my eyelids dropped, and I started to drowse off.

 

“Amelia!”

 

I woke up by my dad shaking my shoulder. I blinked my eyes open and looked at his worried face. “Are you okay?” he asked and I stared at him tiredly. What was he talking about?

 

“You were screaming,” he explained and my hair soothing. “Huh?” I mumbled and shook my head and looked down at myself. Again I was drenched in sweat, and my body was aching.

 

“Uhm, that,” I said shyly, seeing that I had been embarrassing myself. “It was just a Nightmare,” I told him and smiled a little.

 

How embarrassing, here I have been screaming so much it waked him up, I thought and nibbled on my lip.  

 

“Do you wanna talk about it?” he asked and I shaked my head. No, I definitely didn’t want to talk about it!

 

He nodded in understanding and let go of my shoulder and stood up.

 

“Then since we both are awake anyway, maybe I should just make an early breakfast,” he offered and looked at me for an agreement.

 

“That would been nice,” I agreed and got a smile from my dad.  He nodded and turned to the kitchen, he looked somehow relieved that he had something to do.

Dad had never been good with talking about things, he was the type to do not talk.

I smiled and shook my head. Dad will always be... dad!

 

I stretched and decided to take a quick shower before breakfast, as I felt quite icky and awful the way I was now.

It was Saturday, meaning I had the whole day free. I was planning on visiting Onew’s studio today, since it had been a long time since last, and I wanted an explanation.

 

Walking to the studio was refreshing, and when I turned the last corner I discovered a lot of people walking into his studio. It was nice to see that business was going good for him, but when I walked in through the doors, I discovered that the room was filled with people who were nicely dressed in gowns and suits. It looked like I just walked into a wedding or something.

 

Then I saw a familiar face move through the crowd and to the podium that were settled in the far back in the room. Shawn picked up a microphone and tapped twice on it, getting everyone's attention.

 

“Hello everyone,” he greeted the large crowd. “We are so happy that so many of you could be here today. As most of you already know, my name is Shawn and I have gotten the privilege to welcome you all here today,” he announced with a smile and the people started to clap their hands together. I felt kind of misplaced where I stood in my favorite jeans and shirt.

 

“Now let me introduce you all to the one you all have been waiting for, Mr. Lee Jinki,” he announced with excitement and Onew walked up to the podium and bowed at everyone with a big smile around his face. Shawn handed him the microphone and he lifted it to his mouth.

 

“Thank you everyone. You have no idea how glad I am to see all of you here,” he said getting a lot of supportive clapping from the crowd.

 

”Now I’m proud to announce that I have been asked to come to the US and show off my work”, he smiled and the crowd was cheering even more.

 

”And to celebrate this I want to share my latest work with you”, he announced and walked over to the wall behind the stage.

 

It looked like a large photo with a white sheet covering it.

The crowd turned silent when Onew grabbed the end in his hand, ready to pull the sheet off.

He looked at the crowd and lifted his brows and smiled to build tension.

 

I stood on my toes trying to get a better view, but it was really hard as almost everyone in the studio was wearing heels or was just tall!

 

Then Onew pulled the sheet off and the picture came into everyones view. The whole room went “Woah” and I could feel my jaw drop.

The picture was one of his friends posing in a room filled with a lot of objects in it. They all looked quite serious, but their clothes were in bright and colorful colours. It was beautiful!

 

The audience started clapping and Onew bowed once more before leaving the stage.

After closing my mouth I started to move to where he went, and while walking through the crowd I spotted every single one of the guys on the picture, even Key.

I stopped when my eyes found him, and was surprised to see him in his school uniform.

Why was he wearing it out of school, I wondered.

 

He must have felt my glance, because suddenly he turned his head and our eyes meet. His face darkened upon seeing me, and he his heels and walked into the crowd of people. Again I felt sad, and in the way. Like I was the reason for his sorrow, though I knew I wasn't!

I felt anger fill me, and I was about to walk after him, to get an explanation to why he treated me like that, but I was only able to take two steps or so, before I was tackled into hug by Jonghyun.

 

“Amelia, what are you doing here?” he asked happy and broke the hug.

 

“Ah, I had nothing to do today, so I decided to meet Onew, since its been a long time since I was able to talk with him,” I said and tried to be as friendly as I could.

Friend zone, friend zone!

 

Then I saw Onew approach us, and I fought myself out of Jonghyun's grip and held out my hand.

 

“Congratulation, I didn’t know, you should have told me,” I said and shook Onew’s hand. He merely smiled and replied. “Can’t tell you everything, you know.”

 

”The picture beautiful. I would have dressed nicer though if I knew I was coming to a gala”, I said with a smile.

”I think you look beautiful”, Jonghyun said after looking me up and down, and I gave him a glare.

 

”Neh, it suits you”, Onew complemented and smiled. I blushed at the compliment and smiled back.

 

Then Shawn came and poked Onew on the shoulder.

”I have some people you have to talk with”, he said in a low voice. Onew nodded and turned toward me.

”If you would excuse me. Jonghyun, can you show Amelia around”, he asked before walking away with Shawns guidance.

 

I pouted and looked at the ground. Looking over at Jonghyun, only to see that he was smiling to me as if he had just won jackpot. Pabo!

 

Though, his expression was cute, and I had told myself to become friends with him.

 

I walked around with him for a little while, finding his company quite pleasing. He was funny and made me relax, and after a while I felt how our friendship grew, though he would try to approach me with the intention of making me his girlfriend, I thought I came pretty nicely out of it. I was nice toward him, and soon it looked like he started to give up on the attempt and just enjoyed himself around me, something I enjoyed a lot. It was much freer to be around him.

Then again, I was wrong. Suddenly he pulled on my hand, and we were holding hands, and that's when I found out that it was enough for today, so I s out.

 

I was able to get lost in the crowd and I walked up to the back room Onew showed me last time. I wanted to talk to him alone. So I found out I could just wait here until this whole event was over.

I walked over to the portfolio and open it. It had some close ups of flowers and plants. They had been edited and I couldn’t help, but notice the hard work that lies behind.

 

Oh, Onew is really good at this, I thought and noticed something moving in the chair to my right. When I looked up, I saw that the person sitting in it, was Key.

 

He turned his head and seemed to have noticed my present. Then he sniffed and laid his head back on the chair again, closing his eyes.

 

I got the look he was giving me, It’s only you. I don’t want to talk to you, it said. So I just turned my attention to the photos again. I found two more portfolios I leafed through. Then when I was done I looked after something else to do. There was a lot of things laying around, but I could not start to clean either.

So I just stood there and looked at the room when I heard someone coughing behind me. I turned around to see Key had stood up and was now looking at me. I lifted my eyebrows. Had he said something?

 

”What are you doing here?”, he asked and I blinked at him. “I’m waiting for Onew”, I told him, still not sure if it was the answer he was looking for.

”No”, he said and sighed. ”I mean why are you following me?”, he asked and I looked at him in surprise.  

 

Following him. I didn’t follow him. Why would he think... He thinks I’m stalking him’, I thought baffled and looked at Key in shock.

 

”I’m not stalking you”, I blurted and were about to continue when he stopped me.

 

”You have been on the roof ever since the first day I meet you”, he said confronting me.

 

I blinked my eyes. So he was the one I had seen in my side vision! I opened my mouth to answer him.

 

”Don’t think I was there looking for you. You should not flatter yourself like that”, I said a little angry.

Who does he think he is?! Though he have a troubled childhood, he doesn’t have to act like such an , I thought not knowing where my rage came from.

 

He looked at me a little suspicious, then he nodded.

 

”If you believe so”, he said silently and started to walk out before he turned to me again.

 

”Leave me alone! Araso!”, he spits, suddenly angry and left.

I opened my mouth and felt how the anger filled me.

 

That arrogant bastard. I didn’t feel sorry for him at all anymore.

He was a brat and arg.... I could not believe that Onew had been best friends with him. Though he was different from now, he could not be so much more different.

 

A/N:

edited 05.06.2013