oo3. the weird happenings

Counting Down From 10

 

 

I drifted along the somewhat busy sidewalk, trying to find Jihae. Hopefully once I found her, I would be able to take her soul out immediately. Simple and quick, the way I usually do it.

 

As my thoughts wandered, I accidently drifted through someone and she shivered. “I feel like someone just stepped on my grave…,” she whispered to her friend and I smirked at the remark.

 

As I continued to float around and soon enough, day turned into night. The streets soon got crowded as people travel home from their long days at work and I constantly find myself going through people; trust me, it’s not a pleasant feeling for me either.  Making a quick turn at the intersection, I suddenly found myself in a quiet residential neighborhood. I looked around hoping that Jihae will miraculously be in sight, but there was no one around. Where is the girl when you need her? I thought to myself angrily. Taking a deep breath to calm myself, I continued to go down the road and that was when I spotted her.

 

She was standing in front of the gate to a house, looking inside with a sad expression on her face almost as if she were longing for something. The sound of music became louder as I neared her and as I stood behind her, I could see what she was looking at. Through the window of the house, two young boys no older than the age of fourteen were playing instruments; one was playing the piano while the other was playing the guitar. But what struck me the most was that Jihae wasn't looking at the boys. She was, in fact, looking at the young girl who was singing along to the happy tune that the two boys were playing. 

 

I shook my head, erasing any thoughts of sympathy from my mind as my hand neared her; after all, there was a reason that I had to find her and my entire future depended on this one girl.

 

Time seemed to go slower as my hand drew near her back and my eyes could just vaguely see a small, flickering silhouette start to appear; it was something that I had seen numerous times: it was her soul. But just when my hand was mere millimeters away from her back, the weirdest thing happened.

 

I materialized and crashed onto the ground.

 

But that wasn’t the worst of it. Just as I was about to stand up, Jihae slowly turned around, the way people turn around in horror movies. 

 

And like in the horror movies, she did the thing that I was least expecting her to do.

 

She screamed.

 

 

author's notes;

hey guys. hey.

remember me?

i give you all permission to kill me for the late update + the short chapter.

yeah, ready the pitchforks and the torches guys; i'll be expecting you all at my front door.

Like this story? Give it an Upvote!
Thank you!
Back to Top ↑

Comments

You must be logged in to comment
mytientran #1
OMGGG. CARISSA DIDNT KNOW YOU WRITE FANFICS.
Rini6189 #2
Chapter 3: Jihae is full of life with the music that she has in her. Having it taken away from her is like taking out the brightness that a bulb holds in giving light to a room. Passing through death does give one a foreboding feeling. That's the chill experienced from the proximity of a ghostly presence. When she directed her attention through the window to the girl singing inside, it seemed like she's connecting with her through her passion of music. The unexpected phenomenon that just happened is something that can't be explained by the one who just experienced it on the spot. It's like fate had decided to bring him to life. This must be for a purpose that's in store for him. In the way that she reacted to his sudden appearance, she must've thought that he's a stalker.

It has been a while since you last updated. There must've been things going on that's kept your mind drifted away from this fic.
imveryloser #3
Chapter 2: in a way it reminds me
of 49 days o u o ;

anyway, the fanfic itself
is so interesting! c': &; i
hope that the chapters
will be longer /slapped/
Rini6189 #4
Chapter 2: Myungsoo's background is something to wonder about after reading this chapter--how he became the Grim Reaper. It sounds like he made a pact with the devil. Jihae must have a profound impact on Myungsoo (and others) as a musical artist and because of her character that he couldn't bear the thought of her leaving this world. There's something about her spirit that's inspirational. If there's nothing wrong with Jihae's health, she can still live on and it doesn't make sense for her life to be taken away. The deaf are capable of being alive, but they can only express themselves using sign language.

I'd only watched the "Prince Caspian" movie. It was playing in theaters at the time. Instead of entering a closet, the group of siblings were transported to Narnia in an underground train station. I also haven't read the "Chronicles of Narnia" book series.

Whatever that's not mentioned in this chapter could be added in the next one unless you're planning on making it Jihae-centered or a later one. It keeps the readers hooked when they're left wanting to find out more by reading on. Since you can't figure out how to fit it into this chapter, you probably felt that it's not right to expose that at this point. Wherever it's lacking can be a good spot to fill in the blanks. This story is still at its beginning stage, so not much is expected to happen yet. One thing I can think of that's inadequate is details. There doesn't seem to be enough provided to give the readers much imagination of the scene that you're trying to portray just as you'd imagined it in your mind--detailed descriptions of what's happening in the scene, including the characters' facial expressions and their reactions.
purplepop #5
Chapter 1: LOVE IT!!!!
Please Update Soon!! :D
Rini6189 #6
Chapter 1: The gloominess of Myungsoo's character is expressed clearly. Because he's a phantom-like being, he can't connect himself to the tangible world. He must think of himself as a cursed existence from the sound of it. Maybe he envys Jihae because she's cherished and surrounded by people who love her, which is what's lacking in his life. It's good to see details provided to help the readers envision the scene. Doing more showing is better than telling.

Since "they" is the subject in one sentence, the possessive adjective should be "their" instead of "her."

It's short, but it does get the readers to anticipate more of what's to come.
Rini6189 #7
The title has caught my attention to get about the story content. This seems to be an interesting plot with your creativity and originality added to it. It's one of those fics that get you to look at life differently through the eyes of someone who doesn't have much longer to live.

Jihae somehow reminds me of Beethoven, a famous composer who was losing his hearing during the last period of his life but was still able to be successful at composing.

I remember this Disney song well. It's a cheerful song that raises up one's optimism. It'd be ironic to see the concept of "Hakuna Matata" applied to a fic like this that has a dark aspect to it.
Saranghaeyooppa #8
Chapter 1: Sounds interesting! ^^
Back to Top ↑