Do you hear the cheerful chipping sound outside the window? Could you feel the warmth shine through the window? Could you hear the door creaking? Could you hear the voice you always wish to hear?

“Dongwoo, wake up. You don’t wish to be late right?” being the most heavy sleeper is not a bad thing after all except receiving all the painful beating and screaming from s just to get him out from the bed but as long as he can hear his leader’s angelic voice. This is the only chance he thought he could ever hear his forever beloved leader’s sweet voice calling him and only him. He had being longing to hear all the loving words from his y mouth.  Hence, despite having his leader gets annoyed and started raising his voice a little bit louder than before, Dongwoo seemed couldn’t get much too.

“Dongwoo, you better wake up now before I start screaming at you. You know you wouldn’t like it.”

How would the leader know that Dongwoo love his voice no matter if it is loud or soft, deep or high as long as the voice is belong to the leader.

“You are really hopeless!” the footsteps get softer and further after that it followed by a loud bang on his innocent door.

This is when Dongwoo willing to get up, feeling slightly happy. He couldn’t understand why he is happy. He shouldn’t be happy at all, he is the one who always causing troubles for leader…for the members. Even though he is the second oldest but it can’t stop him to be childish and stupid sometime. He needs to be mature but he doesn’t know how. Being positive and cheerful is his only talent. Maybe this is why he always being the one who bring laughter to the members but why not his leader… why his leader would only smile when he is with woohyun, he couldn’t understand. He is jealous, deeply painfully jealous. He tried to stop his unrequited feelings but he still cannot manage his feelings well. Sometime the feelings would just bring him high in the sky and let him play for while but those feelings could also just crashed him completely down in the bottomless ground. He knows he cry easily but he do told himself he would never cry because of love. He is actually quite proud of himself  being able to love painfully and not shedding a single tear.

“Dongwoo ah…faster come out.” here comes another sweet voice but it is definitely not as sweet as the first one.

“Hoya, it is okay. Anyway I am not eating, all I need to do is wash up, and it wouldn’t take me longer than 10 minutes. I am awake now, just that I am too lazy to move right now.”  He lets another foolish smile covers his tired face, he could hear the younger sigh but he could not do much. Instead of continuing sitting, Dongwoo decided he would just go pack up and wait for other. Time passed quite fast, in no time, they had already spent half of their day at the practice room practicing for their next comeback.

Sweats all formed on their forehead, movements starts to slow down but they wouldn’t stop. They are searching for perfect. They don’t want to risk their comeback with mistakes on the stage. Even though mistakes seem to be the cutest thing they had ever done in the fans’ eyes but to their staffs, to themselves is a disgrace. However, it seems that god pity them. Managers came in with side smile on their faces and gathered everyone in front of them.

“Kids! I know you all have been practising very hard. Even though, comeback is coming soon but I think it will be better for you all have at least little tiny break. Go back to the dorms or any places you like. Just relax your body and mind for today and only today.” Everyone cheered except Dongwoo.

He couldn’t feel any happiness, having no practice is just as equal to having lesser chances staying close with his leader. Even though, they all are staying at the same place but the leader seems to be having some little distance with him. Leader could have all his fun with woohyun but not him and he knows him going to be jealous. It is not the first time anyway, Dongwoo believes he can brush off easily.

“Dongwoo, do you want to go out with us.” He turned to the voices and found out all the members are at the exit except woohyun and his leader. He knew it, he knew it all along. Both of them going to spend the day with each other. Dongwoo incautiously brings up his fingers and rubbed his eyes to stop the tears squeezing their way up to his brim of eyes.

“Hyung? Do you want go with us?” Hoya asked again but all he got back was a shook head from the temporary depressed Dongwoo. 

Dongwoo picked up his bag and headed back to the dorm, he decided that he is going to have a good bathe and free of nightmare sleep.

Fears of losing, it is the deepest secret kept by Dongwoo. From the day he was born till now, he had been losing people, thing and most important thing-feelings. The day he realised he had fallen in love with his almighty leader, the fears of losing is getting bigger day by day. He is afraid he would lose his friendship with his beloved, he afraid he would lose all his trust between the members, he afraid he would lose his parents for being a gay. He afraid of losing himself in this dark world….

Step out from the bathroom, even though drops of water had been dripping off his hairs, he couldn’t stop himself from lying down on his welcoming bed and blanket. And he knew the moment he closed his eyes, he would be able to drift away from this world a little while.

“Hyung, I don’t know that you are this kind of person. You had disappointed me.”

Dongwoo quickly snapped open his eyes, setting his focus on his best friend, Hoya who is currently standing in front of him, holding his diary high up in the air.

The nervousness slowly crept up to Dongwoo’s heart, the diary where his entire secret is being kept in tightly is all exposed by his best friend.

“Hyung…tell me all these are not true. How can you….how can you like…our leader…our…”

Dongwoo does not know how to response. His knuckled went pale white from clenching too hard. He is panicked, worried and all sorts of weird feelings were boiling inside his breaking heart. Suddenly, Hoya stepped forward and holds Dongwoo’s shoulder, he tried to wiggle away but failed.

“Hyung…you are disgusting…” after saying that, he pushed Dongwoo roughly down straight to the hard floor. He wants to say something but his mouth couldn’t produce any sounds, he want to move but all the energy had gone. He couldn’t believe his fears would be discovering so fast so cruelly. What should he do?

*BANG*

He holds his sore red hands and groaned. He looked around, he still at his bedroom, the only difference is that he is no  longer lying on his bed but sitting on the floor. That is the moment he realised everything is just a nightmare. He stood up quickly and rushed over to his secretive bag and dig out his neatly closed diary. It does not seem to being browse through.

“Hyung!” he flinched at the sudden voice.

“Hyung! Come out. We had bought some food back. Come to have a bit.”

He nodded and quickly pack my diary safely back to my bag. He thought he would only see 4 persons but there are actually 5 and the only one missing would always be his lovely leader.

“Where is Sunggyu?” no one seemed to know as they all busying eating their food. He frowned at this sight. Not able to get his answer, he decided he would be the one go look for his missing leader. He totally has no intention to call or text as he knows Sunggyu would ignore them. This breaks his heart a little bit but he recovers quite fast from it. Following his instinct, he had come to the practice room, he slowly approached to the room where music could be heard. He peaked through the door and found out his beloved was sitting on the floor, clutching his right ankle to his chest while showing out a painful expression. Dongwoo quickly rushed to his side while trying to help him but was only getting ignored.

“Hyung, let me help you.” Dongwoo’s hands were just going to grab his ankle was quickly smacked off by the annoying leader.

“Go away…” Sunggyu tried to  stand up by his own but he couldn’t balance well and that is when Dongwoo trying to help again.

“I thought I told you to go away.” Sunggyu rather being support by the wall than Dongwoo, this had made his heart die a little.

“Why?” Dongwoo tried his best not to sound weak even though his almost cracking voice is betraying him. “Why wouldn’t you let me help you?”

“Isn’t this is clear enough for you to understand? Do you really want me to say in detail?” he let out a frustrating groaned while ruffling his hairs annoying. This sight had terrified Dongwoo a lot. Why had he done again to make his leader angry? “Do you know that all you had given me are troubles and troubles. Now you want to help me?  Are you being serious or you are trying to harm another ankle?”

Do you hear the tiny little sound? Did you hear the glass breaking sound? Did you? The sound of a heart breaking, did you hear before? Tears just followed out uncontrollably, Dongwoo did not break his promise, he did not cry out of love. He just cried because he is a burden, a useless burden. He don’t know how to react, being his usual self laugh it off or continue shamelessly helping his beloved leader. Both choices are not good.

“Dongwoo..” his voice seemed to be softer or is Dongwoo mishearing? Crying really does affect hearing. He knows he could no longer stay in the same room with him. He ran out pitifully despite hearing all the begging from his leader. This is his first time he ignored his words, maybe in future he going to do it more.

Sunggyu stood rooted at there, looking at his pathetic self being reflected on the crystal clear mirror. You will never how much he wanted to punch the mirror to be exact he wanted to punch himself so hard so bad. He couldn’t believe he had just told a damn lie to his beloved crush. He couldn’t believe he was the cause of all those unfaithful tears staining on his beautiful face. His head is spinning around, he can’t think straight.

From the day, he had decided to avoid the younger, he had already made a mistake, a terribly wrong mistake. There are so many other ways besides avoiding but why did he just choose that. Hoya…it was his entire fault….the self-claimed himself as guardian of Dongwoo had caused the leader’s heart burst out of anger. Dongwoo seems to be fine with him and that is when Sunggyu realised he could never be Dongwoo’s guardian. He had to avoid him in order to stop his feelings from over-flowing. He decided he would just spend more time with woohyun. Maybe everything will be better, he had never thought of this. He could swear he had never thought that Dongwoo is a burden. Suddenly, the images of crying Dongwoo bring Sunggyu back to reality. He bears all the pain that his ankle is carrying and dashed out of the room. He hopes it is not too late to confess, he knows that once the confession is being carry out, everything will be different. He ran to the nearest park where he always goes with Dongwoo when they are still very close with each other. Maybe the god can’t bear to see this miserable couple anymore and decided to give a chance again. Dongwoo was found on sitting one of the swings, weeping away quietly.

Sunggyu doesn’t want to make any noise as he afraid Dongwoo would run away again. He can’t stand another runaway from Dongwoo again. He went behind him and hugged him as tight as possible.

Dongwoo is startled, the moment he knows it was Sunggyu, he immediately started struggling. No matter how hard Dongwoo struggled, he seemed to be the weaker one.

“Dongwoo…hear me out…”

“No!” Dongwoo quickly used his free hands covered his ears. He can’t hear another hurtful word from him, he would really kill himself.

“No…no more….please….I don’t…don’t want hear….anymore…” he suddenly just fallen into his leader’s embrace.

“Sunggyu, do you know the person you dislike a lot love you a lot.” He muttered as soft as possible. He really needs to say it out but he scared of consequence.

“Me too…” Dongwoo suddenly pushed away the unaware Sunggyu. Dongwoo couldn’t feel any happiness but only pathetic. He don’t need people to pity him. How could a person who just say him is a burden, now confessing he love him too.

“I don’t need pity.” Dongwoo sounded as cold as ice.

Sunggyu flinched a little bit, he doesn’t know he had hurt Dongwoo.

“ No. Dongwoo, I had always been a fool. A fool who push his love away easily, a fool who can’t even protect his own love, a fool who always did thing to make his love sad but this fool really love you a lot, Dongwoo. This fool really love you a lot.” Sunggyu did not even notice his tears flow down together along with Dongwoo.

“Dongwoo, would you willing to give this fool one more chance? Please…this fool without you, he has nothing left…” he begged.

Dongwoo does not know how to response but his body did not follow his mind at all but getting closer and closer to the other’s hug again.

“Hyung…”he suddenly tighten the hug, “I love you!” he cried out.

Sunggyu smiled, “I love you too. We will be together forever…” he pulled out Dongwoo and gently pressed his lip on his. The kiss is just plain gentle and smooth, this all they need right now. A kiss which could prove they really love each other.

Both of them let go each other and stared into one another eyes, accidentally laughed out at the same time due to the embarrassment rising up.

“Hyung, let go home.” However Sunggyu continued standing there and pouting.

Dongwoo stared at him blankly, totally had no idea what he wants.

“Dongwoo, piggyback me…I can’t walk.” Sunggyu whined while pointing at his ankle.

“What if I get shorter?” he teased.

“I will still love you!” Sunggyu let out a cute laugh.