It’s been two months since Junhong first arrived at the center. He had been more of a help rather than a patient there. He took care of others and helped with our activities. It’s as if he was there to volunteer, really.

When we don’t have anything to do we would sit down and chat with the others, getting to know each other and stuff. Surprisingly we all get along really well. Junhong would gather us under the big cherry blossom tree in the garden every Thursday and we would just talk. It’s not only for the staff but also the patients who could and wanted to join. It’s like he’s trying to bond us closer.

But the last few weeks university had been busy and I had to miss work for a couple of times. Hyosung Sajangnim, or Hyosung noona as she insisted, told me that it was okay since I have to put my school first in line. So I had to struggle with school and work and barely had time to do anything outside those two.

“Been busy, hyung?” Junhong said during our weekly gathering. It’s the first time I went to work that week. The last time I went in being Wednesday the previous week, meaning I missed the last gathering. We were sitting in a circle and only some of the staffs who weren’t busy were there.

“Yeah, crazy schedules going on every single day. University is killing me!” I sighed and cradled my face in my hands. I barely had any sleep last night because I had to turn in an assignment due earlier that morning. Thankfully it was the last assignment I had for the time being. But next week the cycle would probably repeat itself although I wish it wouldn’t.

“I’ve known you for quite a long time, Yongguk-ssi, but I never knew what major you’re taking.” Seora said. A few mumbles here and there from the other staff agreed as well.

“You never really talk to us about yourself, you know.” Siwon hyung said. He’s the most active staff in the center, by the way. He’s a real good guy that everyone adores. He has a calm demeanor, really suitable for working here because it calms others too.

“I’m majoring in music, actually.” Junhong and the others muttered ‘ooh’ and ‘aah’.

“Woah, that’s cool. Maybe you can perform some songs for us sometimes.” Seora grinned at me and the others nodded in approval.

“Ah, I don’t think so. I’m not really good at singing. I mostly compose and – “

“Yongguk! There’s someone who wants to see you!” Sunhwa noona called out to me. Right beside her I could see the familiar figure with jet black hair styled into a messy spike. He had his usual colorful clothes on him and his poker face on.

“Bang Yongguk!” He roared and charged to the spot where I was sitting. I leaned back a little when he stood beside me, his shadow hovering over me. Then he landed one of the most painful smacks on the back of my head I’ve ever felt.

“What the hell is your problem, Himchan?!” I rubbed the stinging spot and looked up at him. He had his smug smirk on and sat down on the grass beside me. He slung his arms on my shoulders and ruffled my hair.

“Where have you been, dude? I haven’t seen you in ages!” I glared at him and fixed my hair.

“University’s been busy lately. And I have to work. Unlike someone…” He only laughed it off and clapped his hands.

“You’re so funny, dude. Anyways, when are you going to introduce me to your lovely friends here?” He looked around the circle. He smiled at my friends and they all did too.

“This guy is Kim Himchan, an old friend of mine.” They all said hi and Himchan waved at them. I stopped at that. Himchan shoved me not-so-lightly and rolled his eyes.

“That was a short introduction. Disappointing. Guys, can I borrow Yongguk for a while? I won’t be long.” I groaned at that. Himchan is my best buddy but he can be a bit over the top sometimes. He’s an outgoing person and he loves the attention, so I really can’t blame him for saying that.

“Sure, Himchan hyung.” Junhong smiled at Himchan and my buddy immediately got on his feet only to kneel down in front of Junhong and hugged the life out of the poor boy.

“You are adorable. Love that hair, by the way.” Then Himchan got up to pull me by my collar. I got up and dusted my pants.

“It’s nice meeting you guys!” Himchan waved at them and we walked further away from the others to the fountain.

“What’s up?” I said once we sat on the bench facing the fountain.

“Dude, you’ve been absent from rapping for a long time already. When are you going to have your next performance or rap battle? There’s this audition coming up and they’re looking for a new duo. We can actually make it this time!” Yeah, I’m an underground rapper. I was pretty active before I got my job since I perform late at night. I earned some money from that but it wasn’t really paying my rent. I did it as my passion and just for my personal enjoyment.

“I’ve been busy, I told you. I have school and work to do. Rapping will take my sleeping hours and how the hell am I gonna function during the day if I have no sleep at all?” He clicked his tongue and ran his fingers through his hair.

“Quit your job or something. Come on, this audition is really big. We can sign a contract right away once we win! And everybody wants to hear you perform again. People kept asking me ‘Where did Jepp go? Is he still active? Did he quit already?’ People want The Jepp Blackman back, Yongguk.”

“Well I can’t simply do that, Himchan. I have to make a living somehow. The income I get from rapping isn’t enough to support me. It’s unstable! Working in this place makes sure I still have the roof on top of my head and food in my stomach. All the basic supplies and needs I can fulfill unlike those months I spent without a job.”

“But rapping is your passion! Okay then, let’s leave out all the people who wanted to see you. What about you? When was the last time you rapped? When was the last time you felt happy and proud of yourself just like the times you were on stage getting all those cheers and applauses? You were the one who said that you absolutely love that feeling, remember?” I sighed and looked straight into his eyes.

“Himchan. I don’t have time to rap anymore. It’s different now. I have to – “

“Bull!” He suddenly growled and got up.

“You were the one who said that people should follow their dreams and pursue their passion! Now look at what you’re doing. You’re just sitting around, taking care of these sick people who have one too many problems in their lives. They’re not your responsibility!” I stared at him in disbelief as his anger escalated.

“You promised that we would stick together and do lots of gigs until we make a huge name. We would make it big and do lots of recordings. We would be rich and we would live like kings!” I still remember all the times we spent in his basement during our high school days, thinking and wishing to be famous performers and such. We were so young, we didn’t know anything about life.

“My life isn’t all about rapping anymore. And your life isn’t only about singing! You’re staying with your parents and you get to enjoy the simplicity of life up until now while I have to work my off trying to live everyday!” I was starting to get pissed off at all the things he was saying. He had it easy. I lived away from my parents and I had to make it alone in this city.

“Then where the hell did all those promise go, huh? You’re giving up on your best friend like this?” He scoffed and raised his voice again. I could see some people were staring but I didn’t give a rat’s about it.

“My life isn’t all about you, Himchan! Sometimes you just have to give up some made-up dreams along the way. We made all those silly wishful thinking when we were 17, for goodness sake! I don’t have time to rap anymore. Why won’t you get it?! Just stop bugging me about it, okay?” He squinted his eyes and looked at me. He shook his head and took a step backwards. I stood up in front of him.

“You know what? Yeah, you’re right. It was never about me, Yongguk. Singing and performing is my passion and you very well know I can’t perform without my best man for the audition. You know I want this so bad, Yongguk but you backed out on your own best friend. Then fine. I don’t need your help at all.” He turned around and started walking away. Before I could say anything he came back and gave me a hard punch, sending me down to hit the ground.

“D-damn! Damn you, Kim Himchan!” I snapped my jaw back in place and felt dizzy as I peeled myself off the up.

“Whatever.” He turned away and walked inside the building.

<      >

“What happened to you, Yongguk-ssi?” Seora came into the supposed to be empty dining room. I had to cool off after Himchan left so I went to the dining room because it’s usually empty unless it’s time to eat.

“Nothing.” I answered simply. I tried to cover my bruise by resting my chin on the palm of my hand but that gesture alone made me wince.

“That big bruise screams something, you know.” She grinned and sat across my table. She sipped her can of coke and raised her eyebrow at me as if expecting me to tell her everything. I returned her gaze with a frown. Then she stood up.

“Let’s get you iced up.” She walked over to the fridge on the corner of the room and fished out an icepack from the freezer and a clean towel from the cupboard.

“People get bruises a lot in here so icepacks are always ready. Here, put it on your face.” She handed me the icepack, covered with the towel. She sat back down on her seat and sipped her coke again.

“Thanks.” I mumbled, feeling the pleasant cold on my skin. She only hummed in reply and fiddled with her phone.

“I won’t force you to say anything but don’t push yourself too hard okay? I’ll see you later.” She went out the door as sudden as she entered. Not long after she got out Junhong came in. He looked at me and smirked.

“I hope that bruise wasn’t because of Seora noona. It would be hilarious!” He laughed and I rolled my eyes.

“No. Himchan did it.” He sat down on the seat Seora sat on a few moments ago.

“Okay. Why? I thought you guys are best buddies or something.” I groaned and leaned back on my seat.

“He wanted me to rap again and try out an audition with him. But I told him I can’t because I don’t have the time. Then he got pissed at me because he thinks I’m backing out from my passion and a promise I made with him. Then he just punched me.” I shrugged.

“Wait, hyung, you rap? That’s cool! I rap too! Okay leave that for later. What did you promise him anyways?” I widened my eyes at his statement. He didn’t look like a kid who would rap. Then again, I don’t look like a guy who would be working in a rehabilitation center.

“I promised him that we would be famous and make it big in the entertainment industry. We both loved making music, rapping, singing and just jamming with some of our other friends in his basement when we were younger. But come on, life changed for me, you know? I have to make a living. Sometimes you gotta let go of what you love for something more important.” He nodded along after I finished rambling. I had no idea why I was telling this to a boy much younger than me.

“You know what I think, hyung? I think he just wants you to be happy again. I mean, you did say you love rapping, right? And I think the fact that you don’t even have time to do it anymore is making him worried about you.” I frowned at him.

“That doesn’t make sense, Junhong. He said it himself that he wanted to win the audition. He said I backed out on him. He punched me!” I pointed towards the ugly bruise on my cheek. Junhong only chuckled and I glared at him.

“I don’t know hyung. I’ve only seen Himchan hyung once but I kind of get the impression that he likes to joke around and he’s the type that has troubles expressing his true feelings. So I guess Himchan hyung was only saying that, you know? I think he’s just pissed off that you’re not cooperating with him.” He did have a point there. I remembered the time where Himchan had a super tough time with this girl he liked. In the end he couldn’t confess to her and the girl had to leave to another city. He was a wreck after that.

“And you should rap again, hyung. You deserve a time for your own and a time with your friends. Perhaps Himchan hyung misses hanging out with you. I’m sure Hyosung noona won’t mind another day off.” I shifted the icepack on my cheek. I did miss rapping a lot. I missed having fun with the guys. It had been ages since I did anything with them.

“It’s not easy to find friends like Himchan hyung who would stick with you after this long. Especially a friend who cares about you a lot, hyung. You should treasure your friends and try to solve the problems you have. You’re going to miss them once they’re gone.” He smiled at me.

“What about your friends? I have never seen them visiting you here.” Nobody ever paid him a visit, actually. That got me curious.

“I have this one friend, Jongup. He’s a really great dancer and we hang out a lot. I don’t think he knows I’m here though. It’s better off that way.” He had this distant look in his eyes again and I feel bad for him.

“Hey, you still have a lot of friends here too.” He grinned at me and got up.

“I know. Anyways, let’s go watch DVDs with Youngwoon hyung, Cheolyong hyung and Minzy noona!” He looked expectantly at me.

“What? I told you about them already, right?” He only laughed and skipped his way to the door.

“Come on, hyung. I made friends with them already.”

A/N : Actually I'm not really happy about how this turns out. I don't think it's developed quite well.. What do you think?