I had never been so glad for a weekend.

I didn't have to put up with stares- or glares, in Soyeon's case- from anyone at school. With all my homework done early on Saturday, I stared at the camera sitting on my desk. Every time I came back to it, it seemed intimidating all over again.

I skimmed through the instructions to where I'd left off. There was a lot to learn- about aperture, shutter speed and lens care, how to adjust the focus on different distances, ideas for placing my subjects- and this was just the basics!

I tried a few test shots around the house. Minyoung held a hand out like a stop sign whenever I came near her, but Mom was happy to be my first real subject.

My mother stood halfway between Soyeon and me in all respects: five-three, with hips like mine, yet lean like Soyeon. She had dull coffee-colored hair with more wave than Soyeon's silk tresses and still miles from my long straightened hair. She had the ability to say all the right things, but could cackle in the midle of a libraby.

Mom waltzed through the house, saying, "Here, Jiyeon, get a shot of me by the banister." She moved with a flourish, like she was sure she'd missed her calling as a supermodel. Too bad her oversized Saturday work shirt and mussed-up hair didn't complete the image. By the glint in her eye, though, I think she knew we were both out of our element and just having fun. "See, this is the kind of natural, spur-of-the-moment thing that makes a great photo, Jiyeon," she said, opening the oven door. We both burst out in laughter.

When Mom get bored with parading around and showcasing the household appliances, I focused my energy on nature. I photographed the oak tree in our backyard: tall, covered in new leaves, looming over our house like a busy guardian. It was the perfect perch for sparrows, blue jays, and other small birds, but unfortunately there were none around today for me to capture on film. Focusing on the tree at different angels became my second choice.

The more photos I took, the more I wanted to search out and capture something deeper-better- from the world around me. I explored for hours in our backyard. When I found something- a blade of grass from inches away, or a spider building its web- my heart sped up and I fumbled my fingers over the intricate adjustments of my new camera to frame it. 

Click.

I headed into the house for a drink and found Minyoung stretched out on the living room floor, flipping through a beauty magazine. I'm sure she went through about a hundred of them a day, with grad coming up. She was constantly trying to figure out the perfect hair or makeup or shoes, and with her intense focus she must not have heard me. Before seh could say no, I pulled the camera to my eye to adjust the zoom.

Minyoung must have felt me there. She stared up at my camera, then gave me the strangest look. Her eyes pulled together and her jaw tensed. I tried to read her face, but her hair fell in front of it as she looked back at her magazine.

The moment was gone. I'd missed it. I lowered my camera in disappointment. I would have been a great shot. Skipping my drink, I pushed my way back out the front door and snapped pictures until I'd used all of my film.

I didn't have to ask Mom to develop my first rolls, probably because she knew she was on them. She took them off my dresser when she picked up my launrdy, and returned the photos later that day.

I sighed as I stared to skim through them. The lack off vibrancy and spontaneity showed just an album's worth of ordinary. My heart sank. I thought some of them might actually be good.

Then I came to a photo of the oak tree. I'd taken this one looking up the trunk. The sunlight shone between the leaves in trickles, and the shadows gave the tree an almost unearthly largeness. That was exactly what Teacher Ahn had meant about getting the shadows right.

There was another photo with a luminous glow surrounding the tree. I'd probably missed it with the aperture, but it looked kind of cool, like a glimpse of heaven. I leaned the photos againsts the mirror of my dresses and flipped through the rest, thinking: Not bad for my first time.