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Judging eying would be the first thing anyone would do after hearing about his way of

life. He is very well aware of that, but he had stopped tormenting himself by thinking

about it. It's not like he is some kind of player or emotionless . It's not like he is

using anyone or doing anything against someone's wishes. It's not like he doesn't care.

It's not like he doesn't need anyone.

Actually it's complete opposite of that. He at playing any games and he is almost

drowning in the flood of endless emotions. He is always trying to give back to his loved

ones as much as he gets from them and he always wishes the best to them. He loves all

of them almost too much and he is ready to do his all to fulfill their dreams. And he knows

he needs every single one of them. Desperately.

So the things that make his relationship bad and looked down by the society are, one, the

fact that his dear ones are same gender as him, and two, the number of his dear ones.

Kyungsoo sits down to the cold bench near the steadily running Han River after walking

around the chilly streets of the nighttime Seoul for hours. His numb finger slides on his

phone's touch screen scrolling down the list of numbers combined with the names that

keep making him feel warm even in the coldest of the weathers. He ponders who he

should call tonight. He scrolls the list up and down stopping once in a while only to end up

shaking his head and continuing the scrolling.

The problem isn't that he doesn't want to meet any of them. He wants to meet all of

them. His mind and body craves for every single one of them. He misses them painfully

and hopes he could divide himself in five Kyungsoos to be able to spent all his time with

his loved ones.

He has never understood how someone could thin