“The greater your capacity to love, the greater your capacity to feel the pain.”

Lying on the soft beach sand, soaked, with tears running down my face, I couldn’t help but feel so pathetic.

Why couldn’t I do it? Why couldn’t I just let the sea take me away, drown in my sorrows and never ever have to face anything any longer?

I knew the reason why.

I wasn’t ready to let you go, I still want to see your perfect angelic face, your eye smile, I couldn’t bear the thought of not being able to see your face anymore.

I know I’m selfish, I should let you go, to be with that perfect being, but I just can’t do that.

Even though I know your heart has left me, as long as I can still see your face every day, I am willing to bear the pain of knowing you love someone else.

The morning sun caused my eyes to squint and as I brought up a hand to cover my eyes from the sunrays, a shadow loomed over me.

“Are you okay?” I hear a voice say above me but due to the sunrays still affecting my sight of vision, I couldn’t see who it was and the voice did not belong to someone I knew.

I sit up slowly as the person’s face slowly became clear and my eyes widened.

It was the pretty boy who was with Sunggyu.

Up close, he looks even more flawless and I couldn’t help but flinch away from him.

“Are you okay?” He asks again and even his voice is as beautiful as his face.

“I-I’m fine.” I managed to say and tried to stand up, but exhaustion washed over me and I staggered on my feet.

“I’ll help you.” He said softly and put his arm around my shoulder and took me to a nearby bench.

I looked at him, puzzled, as if he was a madman.

We were strangers, yet he still decided to help me while I was drenched with sand stuck to my body and now that we have sat down, I noticed that his clothes were ruined.

“Y-our clothes…Erm…I’m sorry.” I say softly as I look down at my hands, not knowing where to look.

“Haha, that’s not a problem.” He replied lightheartedly.

Noticing that I wasn’t about to say anything soon, he spoke up.

“I-I saw you. I thought you were about to drown yourself and I was about to go in and save you when you rose up from the water…T-that’s good. That you changed your mind.” He said and looked at me, hoping for me to say something.

“I-I love him too much.” I said before I could stop myself and decided I have said too much.

I got up quickly to leave when he said abruptly, “I’ll take you home? You don’t look like you can go home yourself-“

I cut him off before he could finish his sentence and walked away quickly.

No way could he know that I am Sunggyu’s boyfriend…if they really love each other, I don’t think I am in a position to break them apart.

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“When people can walk away from you, let them walk. Your destiny is never tied to anybody who left.”

“Hyung!” I heard a familiar voice shout before I felt a heavy weight on top of me.

“Ya, Myungsoo! I told you not to jump on me like this right?” I managed to say in between getting smothered by his chest.

“Gyu Hyung, I missed you!” He said happily and I shook my head in disbelief at this boy who seemed so cold on the outside but is in actual fact the cutest and most adorable human being ever.

“We meet here every evening, what’s there to miss?” I say, chuckling as Myungsoo settles himself on my lap.

“Hyung, you know, this place looks even prettier in the morning! You were right!” He says happily, like a little boy who has discovered something new.

“Hmm, you came here this morning?” I ask.

“Yup! But Hyung, I found this pretty boy who seemed around our age here as well, and I think he was trying to commit suicide.” Myungsoo said, his eyebrows scrunched up in seriousness.

“Commit suicide?” I repeated, unbelieving as this place has always been peaceful since it was not a place known to many people, so why would someone choose to commit suicide here unless it holds a special meaning to them like it does for me?

“Luckily, he changed his mind and when I asked him why, he told me, ‘I love him too much’. I guess he really loved the person who hurt his heart so badly which lead him to want to take his life…Hyung, do you love me that much?” Myungsoo said and looked at me expectantly.

My mind was somewhere else, thinking of the day I met Woohyun here and how over the years, we always spent our days off here and I realize how I haven’t visited this place with Woohyun for the past year already.

Woohyun…what I am doing now, how hurt will he be if he knew?

That boy loves me with all his life and I could never bear to hurt him, but Myungsoo…he’s so innocent and ignorant leaving me with no heart to reject him.

“Hyunggggg!” Myungsoo whines and I snap out of my thoughts and give him a smile.

“Of course, Myungsoo ah, who wouldn’t love something as cute as you?” I say jokingly.

He blushes and proceeds to lie on my shoulder and I hear him mumble a quiet “I love you Hyung” before falling asleep.

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“Just because you know someone would wait for you forever doesn't mean you can let them wait that long.”

“Hyung?” I hear a small whisper from the sofa and I look up from my shoes towards the sound to find Woohyun wrapped up in a blanket sitting in front of the TV.

I was about to ask him what he was doing with the blanket when a loud sneeze interrupted my thoughts.

“Are you sick?” I ask and walk towards him worriedly.

“I-I kind of caught a cold.” He replies, his voice hoarse and I can’t help but worry.

Woohyun hardly ever got sick and whenever he did, it would be serious.

As I put my palm on his forehead, I asked, “What did you do to let you become like this?”

His forehead was scorching hot and I shuffled around the apartment to find a clean cloth and fill a small basin with cold water.

“I-kind of got wet.” Woohyun said softly.

“Wet? How? It didn’t even rain today…Ya. Nam Woohyun. Didn’t I warn you about not drying yourself after swimming?” I say and he just whispers a sorry.

I know he’s not feeling well so I let it go and move on to trying to get his fever to subside with the now cold cloth.

“Gyu…I…” He whispers as I slightly dap his forehead with the cloth.

“Hmm? What’s wrong?” I ask.

Before I could react, Woohyun has his arms around my waist and his face buried in my chest.

“Gyu…y-you know I love you a lot right?” He says softly.

“Yes. I know, I love you too.” I say and pat his head softly.

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“Yes. I know, I love you too.”

Those words ran throughout Woohyun's mind every single day.

It kept him alive.

12am.

2am.

And eventually, Woohyun woke up to a empty room.

Sunggyu's side of the bed was as neat as it was the day before, signaling he had not come home.

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I was skipping down the street, happier than usual.

Finally, after constant persuasion, Sunggyu has finally spent a night in my apartment with me and just being able to be in my lovely Sunggyu Hyung's arms as I sleep was enough to make me feel as if I'm walking on air.

Since Sunggyu had a long shift today, I decided to celebrate this wonderful day by visiting the river where Sunggyu and I first met.

It was quiet and empty as usual, but I spot a familiar figure crouched in front of the sea, looking onto the horizon.

His gaze was full of sadness and even though I didn't know the reason of the pain the man was feeling, I could feel it radiate from him, leading me to unconsciously walk towards the figure.

"W-We meet again." I say, after pondering over how to start the conversation.

Woohyun looks up at me and his eyes widen for a second before he lowers his gaze and goes back to staring into the sea.

"Erm. I believe that we still haven't introduced ourselves. I'm Myungsoo." I say and look at Woohyun patiently for an answer.

"Woohyun." Woohyun whispers but I manage to catch it.

The name seems familiar, but I couldn't put a face to it and so I just nodded and continued, "Is he still hurting you?"

"He loves someone else. H-He doesn't want me anymore. I-" Woohyun replies and before he can finish his sentence, he's bursting into tears again.

"A person who truly loves you wouldn't make you cry over them..." Myungsoo says and pats Woohyun's back softly.

Woohyun looks at Myungsoo's sympathetic and innocent face, and even though he wants to hate him, he couldn't bring himself to do it.

"I-I'm alright now. I should be going..." Woohyun quickly says.

"Remember, if you need someone to talk to, I'm available!" Myungsoo says and waves Woohyun off.

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For the following weeks, Woohyun and Myungsoo meet at the sea once a week and Woohyun realizes that you can actually feel better by telling someone who doesn't know you well your troubles as they will listen to every word you say.

Woohyun tells Myungsoo about how long he has been with Sunggyu, the happy times they had together, and the recent abrupt change in their relationship.

On the third week they meet, Myungsoo leaves Woohyun with a suggestion, "Confront him. That's the only solution."

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"After all the things you put me through, Still I come right back but now I know the truth."

Woohyun has finally made up his mind and is determined to let Sunggyu know how he's been suffering for 2 months, because of their relationship.

He wants answers, no he needs answers, regardless if the answers he gets will hurt him or not.

It's a Thursday and Myungsoo has extra music lessons after class and due to the late hour, Sunggyu decides to come pick him up.

Everyone else has left and the building is nearly empty except for the security guards and Sunggyu and Myungsoo are about to leave the music studio when Sunggyu receives a call from Woohyun.

It's Woohyun's voice, and the tremble is evident in his voice as he tells Sunggyu that he is in front of Myungsoo's university's building and wants to speak to him now.

Judging by the tone of this voice, Sunggyu knows something is just not right and why would Woohyun be here?

"Myungsoo, I have to do something, I'll come get you when I'm done okay?" Sunggyu says and quickly leaves the room before Myungsoo could say anything.

10 minutes pass and Myungsoo can't help but feel bored and worried of Sunggyu's whereabouts and goes out to search for him.

He finally spots Sunggyu in the university's car park and is about to rush towards him when he spots Woohyun.

Sensing the peculiar atmosphere of the situation, Myungsoo hides behind a pillar and tries to eavesdrop on their conversation.

"You can only choose one person Sunggyu. Is it me, or him?" Woohyun says and tries to sound demanding, but his voice comes out in trembles as he is so afraid of Sunggyu giving him the answer he does not want to hear.

"Woohyun, I-I can't choose right now. I love you Woohyun, I just- I haven't got the heart to tell Myungsoo. That boy loves me too much, and I just feel that I have the responsibility of taking care of him. Do you understand Woohyun?" Sunggyu tries to explain himself, but to Woohyun, they were all excuses.

"No, I don't! I do not understand why, due to your selfish decisions, I have to be the one suffering for these 2 months, no knowing what is going to happen to our relationship and if you still love me, do you understand how much I have been going through?" Woohyun retorts, and Sunggyu is silenced.

At this point, Myungsoo has had enough and tries to run away without either of them noticing, but it's too late as Sunggyu turns around and is about to run after Myungsoo when Woohyun stops him.

"Gyu."

The desperation in Woohyun's voice stops Sunggyu in his tracks and he knows, he knows if he goes after Myungsoo, he will never see Woohyun ever again.

Sunggyu takes Woohyun into his arms and ruffles Woohyun's hair softly and he whispers, "I'm so sorry Hyun ah...It's over...I'm only yours."

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With no fixed destination, Myungsoo finds himself in front of the sea where he found Woohyun trying to take his life.

Despite knowing that Sunggyu has lied to him all along, images of Woohyun sufffering come into his mind, and he can't help but feel that everything had been his fault from the start.

All he wanted was to be loved, and Sunggyu gave him that, and it was beautiful while it lasted, which was enough for him.

As he takes small steps into the sea, Myungsoo feels free, and nothing else matters.

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Sungyeol is walking to school as always, and as he passes the calm and still sea, he doesn't expect to see a figure laid down on the sand and it immediately catches his attention.

The news this morning said that the waves were washing everything up to shore, and apparently, that figure was washed up to the shore along with the coral under the sea.

Out of curiosity, Sungyeol rushes towards the figure to find a boy who looks around his age, and unconscious.

Deciding to wait until he wakes up, Sungyeol admires the boys features, which seemed both angelic and beautiful at the same time.

Myungsoo's coughing up the water in his lungs and his head hurts, a lot.

Everything is hazy as he tries to open his eyes, and his mind is blank.

He has no idea of what his name is, where he was or what had happened.

The only thing that registers in his mind now is the boy with a mesmerizing smile looking down at him.

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