Chaos In The Library.

The Matchmaker's Masterplan !!

A/N : OK everyone. Brace yourselves!! Really really long update coming through!! Read it to the end...If you can.

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Daehyun's P.O.V

The North Star. Is my guide that's leading me to the school....I'm not crazy...It's just that its 5.30 am and I'm going to school....tresspassing is the likely word...

Huh? Why I'm going so early? It's because I am going to jump into the principals office and break open the locker that  has information about students and get Bang Yongguks file. This is the first step of my masterplan my friends.. The second step,is noting his address and stalking him for a while....I can see you nodding your head in admiration....

You're not?? :o  Well I'm sure you want to, if you're not, that's  because .... well....for reasons..anyway..

Oh look. It's the ugly school. It looks uglier in the night...Urgh. I should tie my mum and dad to a chair and scream at them and then ask them why they put me here. Maybe throw some ice at them as well. The horror...

*sniff*  *sniff* *sneeze* I'm not crying. I just have a cold ok. You would too if you got up at 5.30

End of Daehyun's P.O.V (I'm sure you're glad.)

 

Daehyun threw his backpack over the wall and scrambled up and landed with a belly flop. Groaning he managed to sit up. " I am not athletic..." he sighed and stood up. " AAARGH!!!" he cried as he slipped over something and fell down face flat. He stayed like that for a while then slowly stood up a scowl permanently engraved on his face. " That chick better pay me .... or i'll make her" he muttered as he stomped his way to the entrance. 

" Thank god I watched that movie called 'Robbers and Robbing' when I was a kid. Today, I know to steal stealthily and break into places without a trace. Those are stuff a parent should teach you..." he chuckled picking on the lock. The entrance door clicked open and in moments Daehyun was making his way to the principals office.

Once outside the pricipals office he picked on the lock again and entered the neat little room.

" Ah!....hmmm..that penholder looks like an antique...Maybe if i could take it, I could have an auction-- OK. Bang Yongguk..." he said hitting his head and hurrying to the locker. He began to pick and heard the familiar click and swung open the door. " Huh? This wasn't there last time..." he muttered as a silver box was revealed in the locker. He pulled it out and picked on the lock in the box. It clicked open and there was another box in it. " What in Daehyuns name is this? Maybe he did this cause someone broke into the office before...But I'm the only one who does it regularily. Maybe that's why he did this!.Ah well" shrugging he picked on the lock agan.After he familiar click he swung it open to find another box. Annoyed he began to pick at a faster rate and each unlock brought a new box. " I shall not give in!!!"

10 minutes later

" HA!! I shall go on!! Yopu can't stop Daehyun The Great!!"

" 15 minutes later

" never....Give....up. Think about money"

20 minutes later

" This has to end....right?"

30 minutes later

" That chick better kep the green bills ready and this better be good!! I'm gonna kill Kyung if there's another box in this box!!!!"

Finally...

YES!!!!! IT'S OPEN!!!! I TOLD YOU IT'S ALL ABOUT PATIENCE AND ENCOURAGEMENT TO YOURSELF!!!!" cheered Dehyun bowing to his invisible audience.

" Ha. Let's see now...." he mumbled leafing through the files." You seee, I always come here whenever I want to check on people. It's nothing! And all the info you want is right here!" He grinned and pulled out a file that read BANG YONGGUK

" Great!" He opened it with trembling hands.

Name:Bang Yongguk

Birthdate :Located in private files

Address : Located in private files

Parents : Located in private files. 

Family background : Located in private files.

 

Daehyun dropped the file his face red with anger. " I should have known, the bloody principal made them all private after someone told him that they were being hacked into. Arrgh!!!" he growled clenching his fists.

Suddenly he heard the James Bond theme song and jumped. 

" Aw c'mon!! Let's !!!" came a high pitched vice

" No no Zelo! We have to clean first! Starting with the principal's office."

Oh no! It's tall boy and janitor man. I better get out! 

Daehyun looked around furtively, saw the window, and dived out of it as gracefully as a man who jumped over a cliffe would and landed heavily face flat. Without moving,he raised his arm slowly and gave the thumbs up sign. " I'm good..." came his muffled voice.

****************

In Daehyun's class.

" CHILDREN!!! I hope you're all working on the project!!" shrilled their teacher

" What project!!?" demanded a  boy frowning at her. 

" The DNA one!!" she replied indignantly.

" Huh? You gave us a project?" questioned a girl. The teacher turned purple with rage. " Look kids, you must do this project as a favour for both of us. You see, this project will add to your exam marks and determine whether you pass or fail."

" WHAT THE !!!!!"

" SERIOUSLY ? YOU SICK WOMAN!! YOU !!!"

" MOTHERA!!!!!!"

" BRING THE GUNS TO SHOOT HER DOWN!!!"

" SHUT UP!!! Continuing....I hate this class and I don't want  to be stuck with you for another year and I know you hate this class too right? So do this, pass and get out of my sight next year. You ruined almost half of my life already" she concluded matter of factly. The students stared at her open mouthed. 

" Want some gum?" asked Anthony passing a packet of chewing gum to his friend who accepted it.

 " Dude...I just found this really cool site!! They say you can watch it in 4D if you buy their special 4D T.V and the 4D DVD'S!!!!" exclaimed a guy and in he blink of an eye a dozen boys and girls were surrounding him. The teacher gagged and facepalmed.

" Well I guess I have to talk to Yongguk...and go to his house..." thought Daehyun cackling evilly.

" Uh....Dude..Are you ok? " asked a boy.

****************************

Yongguk was having athletics now and since Dehyun was free, he decided to meet him and decide on a date and time for their project discussion. Right now Daehyun was standing in the grounds trying to spot Yongguk. It wasn't hard since a lot of girls were taking pictures of him as he did his exercises. Daehyun walked to him amidst the surprised exclamations and  

" OMG what is he doing?"

 " Is he outta his mind?"

 " Stay away. That's the boy who touches crotches..."

" You!"  demanded Daehyun pointing at Yongguk who glanced at him and stopped his push up mid way. " We need to talk." added Daehyun narrowing his eyes. Yongguk stood up and raised a brow at Daehyun questioningly. " About the project. When are you free? " asked Daehyun resisting the urge to throw something at the tan boy. 

" Free? Me? Never " replied Yongguk crossing his arms across his chest.

What? This is not what I was waiting for. I was expecting something like. " Free? Ah everyday ! You can come over to my house and we can work there !! Come anyday! Here' my address! " 

Keep your cool. " How can you not be free anyday, you bulging freak ? How about Monday?" asked Daehyun tapping his foot impatiently.

" Karate"

" Tuesday?" 

" Clubbing"

" Eww. Wednesday?"

" Basketball"

" Thursday?"

" Gym"

" Friday?"

" Clubbing"

" What! Seriously? WHO GOES CLUBBING TWICE A WEEK!!!! Saturday then?"

" I date on saturday"

" WHAT!!!! TELL ME SUNDAY IS GOOD!!!!"

" No....I have other stuff." said Yongguk enjoying the different shades of colour that Daehyun was changing into. 

" Keep calm..... keep calm. FINE!!! you can fail. You'll be stuck in the same class again!!" he said, expecting Yongguk to agree to come at least on one day. Shrugging and smirking Yongguk headed to the shower rooms. Daehyun growled in frustration.

I never thought this'll be this hard ! Daehyun turned around to stomp away but remembered something.

Ah! The 2 tickets for The Phantom of the Opera!! The show's today!! And I bought two tickets for kyung and myself!! And stupid kyung said he can't come cause his fish or someone died and he wants to attend the funeral....my money...*sob* Hey wait....

Daehyun glanced around the ground and spotted another athlete. One of Yongguks masked sidekicks. " You." he said pointing at the boy who was drinking from a bottle. It was the boy who had drilled their boat. " Yeah...?" he asked uncertainly. " I have an extra ticket to the Phantom Of The Opera. You wanna come with me?" he asked still pointing at the boy.

" What!! You got tickets!! Wow!! When I went they were sold out !! Oh wow! And you asked me!! How'd you know drama was my passion? Oh--

" Shut up. Stop the crap. Its at 7.00 Good with you? " asked Daehyun pulling out the ticket from his pocket.

" 7.00? Of course!"

" Good then,. Take the ticket I'll see you..."

" I don't think so..." came a deep voice beside Daehyun who scowled darkly and turned around to face Yongguk, who had already changed into jeans and a V necked t-shirt. 

" What don't you think, you buffoon? No one cares ! " snapped Daehyun narrowing his eyes at him

" You will not attend that lame opera. " he continued. " Eh....? Why?" asked Daehyun curiously looking at the smug looking boy beside him.

" Because I just remembered! Today the gym is probably closed so I can make it to your stupid dicussion or whatever " he said, giving Daehyun one of his rare smiles. 

" Oh. What time cause I can adjust the time with the opera--"

" 7.00 pm. " sang Yongguk stuffing his hands in his pockets and sauntering away.

The bastrd. " YOU!! YOU PATHETIC EXCUSE OF A HUMAN BEING!!!!"  screamed  Daehyun after Yongguk then turned to the masked athlete. " Change of plans. Since I can't come, I'll sell you the ticket " he said.

The boy shrugged and agrreed. " I'll buy both " he said shoving a stack of bills at Daehyun who grinned and accepted them ,  " Why thank you. How kind. But I still hate you" he said and skipped away. 

" Weird kid " muttered the athlete staring after the figure. " Ah well, opera!!! here I come!!! Woohoo!!!!"

*********************************

In the library at 7.00 pm

Daehyun's P.O.V (I can hear the groans... hold on guys I'll make it short!)

" Excuse me? You don't like listening to me? :O But why? *Sigh*

I'm in the library. The nosy librarian who was packing up to leave, decided to stay back as well to probably see what I'm doing. It's 6.45. Waiting for goon to come and finish this off. I can't believe I'm saying this, but there has been no progress in my masterplan. What? Of course I have my next step planned out! This is my job and Daehyun doesn't give up!

You wanna know my next plan? So tomoroow I am going to follow him home. I am as smooth as a cat,he wouldn't know. Yeah !

I'm reading a book about the Yeti. I want to meet him. Once I saw this dream, where I met Yeti and I helped him remove some dirt from between his toes, and we became best friends.... It was awesome!

END OF P.O.V (I can see those happy faces..)

Its 7.00. And there was no sign of Yongguk. Daehyun decided to do some of his accounts. Now its 7.15. Maybe he forgot. If he did, I'll cut his fingers off, one by one. Sighing, Daehyun decided to start researching himself. 7.30. Maybe a car hit him on his way and he's dead. No? Ok fine if you say so :( Daehyun's head was drooping down. So he decided to sleep a bit. 

At that precise moment, Yongguk sauntered in and saw the sleeping boy. Smiling lightly he sat across Daehyun and stared at the sleeping boy.

He took in Daehyun's face, his nose, the closed eyes, the soft hair that was falling across his face,the plump lips and found himself smirking. The only thing out of place are those worried looking creases on his brow thought Yongguk, tilting his head to a side as he observed

" Wait...I'm Bang Yongguk...I don't find guys attractive. Now, pull yourself together." he said to himself firmly.

" Get up" he said shaking Daehyun roughly. " Get out " murmured Daehyun. " I came here for a reason, Now get up! " said Yongguk louder and pulled a strand of Daehyun's hair. " Go die " muttered Daehyun pushing Yongguk's hands away. " Uh huh.You leave me no choice " said Yongguk, shaking his head. He took a big book and smashed it on the sleeping boy's head.

" AAAARRGHSDFK!!!!  WHO DID THAT!!! OHMYGOD!!! THE WORLD IS ENDING!!! IT CAN'T YET!! I STILL DIDN'T CHECK MY SWISS BANK ACCOUNT YE-- oh.... You " he said noticing Yongguk who was staring at him open mouthed, his arms still held high with the book. " You came " continued Daehyun, slipping on his glasses and peering at Yongguk, who scoffed and and sat back, crossing his arms.

" See, I found some information. To begin with.." started Daehyun and Yongguk let him blabber on, his eyes  fixed on those plump lips. 

'' You look like you could give pretty good s " he commented his lips. " A what? I don't own any. How much do they cost? '' asked Daehyun interestedly. Yongguk was shocked. " You don't know what that is? Shall I give you one?" he asked seductively, a smile tugging at the corner of his lips, which would've made any fan girl feel very weak. But Daehyun frowned. " No I don't want anything from you. I'll ask someone else if I have to. But back to the topic at hand--"

" You have nice eyes " commented Yongguk staring at Daehyun intensely. " All the better to see you with,  you goon " replied Daehyun, going back to his explanation. My god. What is he? Here I am complimenting him and that's something i rarely do..And he's very casual about it! This is the first time my charm are being wasted,  thought Yongguk still shocked. Maybe some songs....?

. "--So actually, if humans did not have any DNA, I dont know---

" I don't know I dont know I don't know but I'm hot.... hot " sang Yongguk bobbing his head.

" You??? Yeah right. " scoffed Daehyun. " How can that be? The weather's pretty cold these days. Now look at this diagram. I unfortunately lost---"

" I lost my mind---- " sang Yongguk .

" Huh? So you're a lunatic now? Hey! That chick said so too! " exclaimed Daehyun.

Yongguk frowned. " What chick?' he asked.

" Nothing. Now see-- aaaargh!!! stay away!!!" he yelled as Yongguk reached out to  pull off his glasses.  " You look like my grandpa. " said Yongguk his hand still trying to grab at the glasses. " SO WHAT! THESE ARE MY GRANDPA'S! YOU GOT A PROBLEM? I DONT WANNA WASTE MONEY!!!!" cried Daehyun getting up.

" Of course. Hey isn't that your accounts book! " said Yongguk grabbing it.

Oh no...my clients..the chick..he'll see and then I'm doomed!!!

" NOOOO!!!! THAT'S MY FIELD NOTE BOOK ABOUT MOSQUITO BREEDING!!" exclaimed Daehyun trying to grab it back. " HAHA!! Whatever four eyes. I'll keep it! " smirked Bang, trying to leave but Daehyun grabbed a random book and threw it at him. He caught it and looked and read the cover,  a smile forming on his lips. " Hey thanks I've been looking for this book for three weeks !!" he said, stuffing it in his backpack.

" GIVE MY BOOK BACK!!" yelled Daehyun jumping on Yongguk. " GET OFF" yelled Yongguk as he stumbled. Daehyun held tight and his hands clamped shut over Yongguk's eyes and Yongguk crashed onto the nearest book shelf blindly.

" GET OFF ME YOU LOSER!!!" he yelled as he ran blindly trying to pry Daehyun off, and Daehyun was still holding on tightly screaming for no reason, as Yongguk ran around the huge library. " LEFT LEFT!!! NO NO!!! THERE'S A BOOKRACK!!!! NOOO!!! SCULPTURE OF LEONARDO DA VINCI IN THE RIGHT which should be in the art room not here...AAAARRRRGGHGGH!!!!! " Daehyun navigated Yongguk. 

" DON'T GO FORWARD!!!! VASE!!!: screamed Daehyun but Yongguk growled, ran forward and turned around so that Daehyun would crash onto the vase instead. But Daehyun hopped off his shoulder, pushed Yongguk back, grabbed his beloved acounts book and ran towards  the table where his other stuff were.

CRASH!!! came the loud sound signifying that Yongguk had crashed onto the vase.

" HAHAHA!!!! GOOD RIDDANCE!!!" yelled Daehyun running to the door.

" OH YEAH!!!" came the deep voice from the door, as Yongguk got ready to tackle Daehyun. 

" NOOOOO!!!!! HOW'D YOU GET HERE SO FAST!!! Maybe he is a ghost. NNOOOOOO" he screamed trying to stop his feet, but Yongguk was now running towards him. " YOU PEDO!!!! YOU DON'T KNOW WHO I AM!!!" yelled Daehyun jumping from table to table, kicking statues and pushing bookshelves, trying to avoid Yongguk

" OH MY GOD!!! CHILDREN, WHAT ARE YOU DOING!!! DAEHYUN GET OFF THE TABLE!!!!" yelled the nosy librarian,  who had just awoken from her nap and she too began to chase Daehyun with Yongguk.

" HE STARTED IT!!! GET HIM!!!! HE WAS TRYING TO ABUSE ME!!!" screamed Daehyun throwing books at his 2 predators. Yongguk ducked and one book hit the librarian on the face and she stumbled back but Yongguk kept coming

" YOU!!!! YOU DISRESPECTED AND INSULTED ME FROM THE TIME I MET YOU!!!YOU'RE NOT GONNA GET FAR CAUSE NOW I'M REALLY MAD!!!" he growled Yongguk in hot pursuit.

" AAAARRRGGH!!!! I KNOW THE YETI! NO NO WAIT!! WHAT I MEANT TO SAY WAS I KNOW SELF DEFENCE!!" Daehyun screamed and stopped suddenly and turned in his tracks,  to face Yongguk who raised a brow at him. " What ? " he asked quizzically." You can't punch me for your life ". 

" OH YEAH??!! Watch this. HIYA!"  he yelled and the sculpture of Leonardo Da Vinci came flying at  Yongguk, who swiftly dropped onto his belly, inorder to avoid it. By the time he stood up again, Daehyun was out of sight and the library was a holy mess.

**********************************************

Daehyun's P.O.V

Ok. So I escaped. It was cool right the way I escaped? I know you're impressed. 

Tomorrow..Tomorrow I am going to his house no matter what and I'll be nice to him from tomorrow.

Daehyun got home and crashed into his sofa. Suddenly his cordless phone began to ring.

" What?" he snapped into it.

" JUNG DAEHYUN!!! YOU RUINED MY LIBRARY AND HURT MY BOOKS AND YONGGUK!!!" came the librarian's voice. " Yeah He tore these books and threatened to throw the books over there, into the fire" came Yongguk's voice.

" EXACTLY,So now you have to pay the fine "  cackled the librarian evilly.

" F..F..Fine? How much?" whispered Daehyun, his money flashing before his eyes.

" 60,000 Won...in advance " came the prompt reply.

" WHAT THE!!!?? "

" You better pay or I'll have you expelled.!!! YOU CREATED ONE HELL OF A MESS HERE!!! AND YOU BROKE LEONARDO!! HE WAS THE ONLY BRIGHT LIGHT IN MY DARK LIFE!!!"

" So I have to pay more??? "

" Yep, this is just the beginning..."

" BUT IT WAS YONGGUK----"

" NO IT WAS NOT!!! THE POOR BOY IS HERE, HELPING ME CLEAR UP!! ONLY THE GUILTY ONES RUN AWAY FROM THE CRIME SCENE!!! PAY UP TOMORROW!!!" she screamed and slammed the phone down

" 60,000 won...plus more?? 

 

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!! "

 

weew - comedy  bap bangdae matchmaking - chapter image

 

 

A/N :  True true it's a bit too long but I hope it was enjoyable! 

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Petachi
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Comments

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Dewdropz #1
Chapter 11: I read this story over and over again. Its so funny. I love fiesty daehyun and yongguk and everyone else. One of my favorite stories. ♥ You have written such a great fic. :)
bygjdh #2
Chapter 26: Never get tired of this brutally funny randomly fic
I can say that this is the funniest fanfic that i've ever read and i love it with every little piece of my heart
Usually i dont like Ocs but this fic was the excep, i love the barbarian students (kyung sumin gina ily) the teacher, the janitor, the random boy, dae parents, the monkey huhuhuhuhuhu
damchubiased
#3
Chapter 9: Himchan's answer to the riddle lol
damchubiased
#4
I'm down and stressed. I will read this again to lift up my mood, while I'm waiting for "vindictive people" update.
Your story makes me happy (⌒_⌒)
DumaTrz #5
Chapter 27: Ohgodohgodohgodohgod how didn´t I see this earlier 7u7 You are just.. awesome (more than awesome ;; even) This story is one of the best comedies I´ve read so far. God, I couldn´t stahp laughing all the time, I blame you for that :c
JunYoung1004
#6
Chapter 27: You are awesome ! I spend two whole night with your story and I won't regret it. *crying for no reason* I love it as much I love Zelo. Lol XD
uXknowme
#7
Chapter 27: This story is funny! XD There's no way I didn't laugh!

My favourite part is the splat splat pooping sound in the chapter where Dae hid inside a cubicles X'D VERY HILLARIOUS!
Oh! I have a question! So Dae is really innocent? Till the end?? And at the end he likes Yongguk back right?? Nyahahaha there's mention of but no M rated here
bdz357998 #8
Chapter 26: This was hilarious!!!
proudweirdo
#9
Chapter 26: lol thank god i have read this again after a year. wait.. was it really a year? how could i be unsure :( but ahhh srsly, this is the best story for me. XD i remember i kept re-reading this and i cant stop laughing.. and now.. omfg you really are the best author ;u; the type of story you'll never get bored by re-reading it over and over again. *u*