Splintered and Cracked

 

Jieun awoke as the sunlight peeked at her from behind the curtains of her room. Rubbing her eyes, she tossed and turned in bed, only to face Myungsoo, who was fast asleep next to her.   Last night was a nightmare.   It wasn’t that Myungsoo had physically hurt her – it was even worse. Jieun would’ve preferred physical abuse over the scars she was inflicted of emotionally the previous night.   He was cruel, selfish, and uncaring. Somehow, along the path to their relationship, Myungsoo had lost the ability to see himself and Jieun in the term ‘us’ – he could only see himself.   Then, what exactly was Jieun’s role in their relationship?   Jieun was robbed of her identity; instead of seeing her as a separate, living individual, Myungsoo treated her as an object that he owned. She was nothing than the toy he had to keep only for himself. Even if he were to grow bored and tired of her, he wasn’t going to let anyone else take her away.   Lee Jieun lay in bed, facing Myungsoo. He looks so peaceful when he’s asleep… Why can’t he be like that when he’s awake? What is it about me that makes Myungsoo so…so bitter?   Suddenly, Myungsoo stirred; his eyelids fluttered open. Jieun quickly closed her eyes, hoping that Myungsoo would leave for work soon.   Myungsoo stared at his girlfriend with no particular expression on his face. Carefully, he traced his hands over her face, caressing her cheeks and chin. “I love you,” he whispered. “I love you, Lee Jieun. You’re mine.”   It took a lot of effort for Jieun to remain in her position and not tremble at his touch. She was terrified. You probably don’t know how scary that sounds, she thought. Having to hear that phrase with the same faceless expression every morning is terrifying, Myungsoo…   He climbed out of bed after carefully tucking Jieun under the sheets and headed into the bathroom. Upon hearing the click of the door’s lock, Jieun let out a deep exhale of relief.   I should tell Myungsoo that I’m going to meet up with some friends later today, Jieun thought. Then, she contradicted herself: No, wait. Why do I have to report everything I do to him? He’s supposed to be my boyfriend – not my bodyguard or anything.   So, Jieun lay quietly in her bed until Myungsoo came out of the shower and prepared himself. “I love you,” he whispered before he stepped out of the room.   As soon as Jieun felt that it was safe to get up, she did – after cleaning around the house, she prepared to leave as well.     The moment Jieun stepped into the café, she could see her four closest friends sitting with one another. When she sat down beside them, three of them bombarded her with questions.   “How’s Myungsoo-ssi?”   “Any news of a wedding yet?”   “How have you been doing?”   Jieun let out a chuckle. She began answering the questions in order: “Suji, Myungsoo’s…he’s doing well. Yoseob, marriage is kind of out of the question, isn’t it? Don’t be silly. And, Sanghyun, I’ve been good.”   Her three friends let out a merry laugh and began to chat with one another, too eager to discuss everything that they hadn’t been able to during Jieun’s absences.   However, Woohyun, who had kept his silence the entire time everyone else was noisily chatted, suddenly inquired, “Why are you missing so many of your classes, Lee Jieun?”   His simple question brought everyone to silence – at this point, four pairs of eyes were fixed onto Jieun’s, burdening her.   “I just… didn’t want to go to class.” Despite the lack of truth in her answer, her carefree friends seemed to accept it – all but Nam Woohyun. Woohyun had harbored unrequited feelings for Jieun for a long time now - but of course, even before she and Woohyun had ever met each other, she was long taken by Kim Myungsoo.   Unlike Bae Suji, Yang Yoseob, and Park Sanghyun, Woohyun was an intuitive and sensible man; in addition, he took pride in saying that there wasn’t a single thing that he didn’t know about ‘Lee Jieun’. So, when Jieun gave such an ans