Day by Day....
That XXLife is full of uncertainties. Yet there are moments where everything just makes sense. For Me, that was embodied in one perfect human being. For as long as i can remember, my memories have contained only him. From the day I first met the younger on the playground on that barren winter day, i've been mesmerized. Over time, friendship sparked something more, and over the years i'd foolishly learn to realize that it was love. Love that would never be requited. For years I stood by his side, merely content to be the one person closest to him. However, with time the seasons change; we all have to say goodbye one day.
Hyung!" GD looked up from the patch of snow he'd been so intently watching, rubbing his hands together for warmth as he stood below the large tree situated in the bustling city square. It was nearing the end of the year, and the city was adorned with many fashioned lights, glistening and glittering on nearly every pallid surface. At this time of year the tree above was so magical, glistening a radiant sapphire. The enchanting winter views attracted couples from all over the city, making GD's heart ache as he was reminded of his current loneliness. However, he still forced a smiled as he waved his friend over, the other looking excited beyond belief. Seungri panted as he ran over to the older male, trying to catch his breath as he rested his hands on his knees.
"You know you didn't have to run here, you're not even that late," GD said with a chuckle, admiring Seungri as he did so; the shimmering lights behind him only reminding GD how stunning he truly was; even the lights couldn't compare to his radiance.
"I know that, but I have something to tell you," he said, practically beaming. GD felt his heart flicker with excitement, swallowing the lump in his throat as he nodded in reply, anxious to hear the other's answer.
"I met the most amazing person, we've started dating," he said excitedly. GD felt his heart sink at those words.
"I'm so happy for you..." GD said quietly, still stunned from the sudden news. From that moment on, his whole life had been turned upside-down.
"you should meet her sometime, she would be really excited to meet you, you're my best friend after all," Seungri said, grabbing GD's hands as he beamed at his friend.
"yeah I'd love to meet her..."
I met her, and I hate her. She's not good enough to be with you. She doesn't even deserve to be with you. I saw her today, did you know? I saw her down the street, walking with another man. She wasn't wearing that promise ring you gave her. She's a liar, she's taking advantage of your innocent kindness. She walked straight past me, it seems I'm invisible even to her. I don't want to hurt you, but I don't want you to suffer anymore. I have to tell you, even if it hurts you.
"She's definitely not that kind of person," Seungri said quietly, his anger only subtly showing through his anxious features. GD's eyes flickered with sadness as he watched his friend look down at the snow with a tired sigh.
"But I saw her-"
"That's enough Jiyong!" Seungri said angrily, clenching his fists as he looked back at GD. The older male simply avoided Seungri's gaze, fiddling idly with the scarf wrapped neatly around his neck. He sighed inaudibly as he watched the snow fall quietly around them, filling the winter streets with a fresh layer of pure, untainted snow.
"you're right, I probably got it wrong," GD replied sadly, trying his hardest to smile reassuringly at his friend.
See, I lied for you
"I'm sorry, it must have been someone else," GD continued, trying his best to calm Seungri down. The younger let out a sigh, putting his hands in his pockets as he looked at his friend with a troubled expression.
"she's not like that Hyung. You just don't understand these things," Seungri said, before turning and walking off down the street. GD could only watch the man he loved walk away, slowly slipping between his fingers. He has only wanted to see him smile; now he could only watch his back as he slowly disappeared into the distance.
"you just don't understand me, I hate all this waiting," he said to himself, before turning and walking the other way.
Let go of that hand. You don't need to suffer anymore. How many tears have I wiped for you? How many nights have I spent holding you, telling you that everything would be okay? When you're sad, I feel like I'm dying. You need someone who will make you happy. I'd do everything for you, yet all I can do is pick up the shattered pieces she's made and so desperately try to fix them. How much longer are you going to cry over her mistakes? what does she have that I don't? Whatever it is, I'll change it all for you.
Why can't I have you? It's just not fair.
"Hyung it's all my fault, she was really angry this it's time," Seungri sobbed, leaning against GD's strong frame for support as the two exhausted figures sat on the couch,in the darkness of GD's living room. Only the light coming from the TV illuminated the tired expressions etched into their usually attractive features, only reminding GD of the late hour.
"it's not your fault Seungri," GD soothed, running a hand through Seungri's soft, dark locks as a sign of comfort. Admittedly, he had been surprised when Seungri had knocked on his door in the ungodly hours of the morning looking completely broken hearted. However, GD jumped at the opportunity. These days he wasn't able to spend much time with Seungri, thanks to her. She was purposely keeping him away from GD, he knew it
"but it is, if I hadn't of been so stupid..." Seungri said sadly, rubbing his eyes as he realised how heavy they felt all of a sudden.
"it's not your fault, don't beat yourself up over it. Try and get some sleep," GD said calmly. Seungri remained silent, before nodding his head reluctantly. Before long the younger was sound asleep, resting against GD for support as he slept peacefully. The older male sighed, brushing the hair out of Seungri's face as he admired the younger.
"I love you so much, but I can only ever tell you when you're asleep,"
All she does is make mistakes, yet you're the one who ends up apologising. You're too kind sometimes, you know that right? You're so in love that it makes you look like a fool. I suppose that makes me a fool too...doesn't it? No matter how much pain she causes you, you keep going back to her. It kills me inside when you talk about her. Do you not realise what you do to me?
"She's so great, everything's been going so well lately. I can really see this going on for a long time," Seungri said, looking down at his steaming mug happily. GD had been leaning his head against his hand, looking out the window of the cafe idly.
"Hyung are you even listening?" seungri asked incredulously, laughing when GD finally snapped back to reality.
"of course I was," GD said with a mock pout, earning a sly grin from Seungri.
"It's good that you're this happy, i'm glad," GD said with a smile. Seungri smiled back at his lifelong friend, before placing a hand on top of GD's free hand, that had resting against the surface of the table.
"But are you happy? I just want you to find someone, Hyung," Seungri said with concern. GD remained silent for a few moments as he watched the hand on his own. It was so warm, he noted. They would fit together so perfectly...if only.
"of course I'm happy. Don't worry about me," GD replied. Seungri frowned at the older male's words, however nodded reluctantly after a few moments of comfortable silence.
"I love you Seungri, just remember that," GD said suddenly, before pulling his hand away from Seungri's. The younger remained quiet for a few moments, oblivious to the pain glistening in GD's gaze as it returned back to the window.
"I love you too,Hyung," Seungri said with a smile.
'yet I'll always be second to her, you'll never love me like i love you,' GD thought to himself. He realised this as he watched the scenery outside. The seasons were changing. Life moved on, yet GD couldn't. He'd always be stuck in the past.
They say love is blind. You're so blind. It's so obvious that it hurts. Can't you see that for me, it's only ever been you? You trust her completely, yet she's always going behind your back. Sometimes I wonder what it'd been like if you'd chosen me. I would have treated you the way you deserved, I would have never hurt you like she did. Yet to you, I've always been the friend...I suppose that's all I'll ever be. I wish that I could be more to you.
Please, I beg you, break it off
GD sighed as he stared sadly at the luxuriously furnished ballroom, that would be the setting for the New Year's party that had been the talk of the city for weeks. GD was left to stand by himself, as Seungri had been dragged off by his girlfriend to go and dance. Seungri had his hands on her hips, while she had her dianty hands wrapped around his neck as they danced slowly to the music. She always did that, she was the one thing that came between them. She hated it when Seungri spent time with him, she was jealous of their friendship. A hypocrite, that's what she was. She grinned over at GD as Seungri remained oblivious as they continued to dance. She knew GD's true feelings for Seungri, it seemed that they were obvious to everyone but Seungri himself. She loved rubbing it in his face. Seungri leaned down to whisper something in her ear, earning a giggle from her as she turned back to him. Fake, it was all fake. She whispered something back, running a hand through his hair as she did so. She was playing with him, GD knew it. Right now, she was probably thinking of another man for sure.
How dare she.
GD sighed as he finished his drink, merely left to watch on as the couple danced only meters away from him. When the two finally leaned in to kiss, that's when GD decided to leave. He just couldn't stand the fact that she'd won him over.
If only he had a chance, just one chance. He would make it all right.
Expensive cars, beautiful clothes, high-class restaurants, they all suit you well. Yet she only takes advantage of all that you offer. She really doesn't suit you. I don't care what others say, she doesn't look good standing next to you. I'm the one you need. Instead of tears of sadness, I would replace them with happiness. So Please just look at me, look only at me
Why can’t you realise that I'm the one you love? Why are you the only one who doesn’t know?
GD sighed as he checked the time on his phone. Seungri was late again, as usual. However after the text he'd received from the younger, GD couldn't care less about those unnecessary details.
'Hyung, meet me at the old playground. I've got good news!'
And GD had done as he was told. He felt a pang of nostalgia rise in his chest as he looked at the familiar surroundings of the playground where he'd first met Seungri. The rusted form of the structure only served to remind GD how much time had passed since then; how he wish he could return to those carefree days. Even though It had aged, the area still looked so pure when covered in that fresh layer of snow. Time changed everything, except his feelings.
"Hyung, I'm late again I'm sorry!" Seungri panted as he ran over to where GD had patiently been waiting for him. GD was about to respond, though found himself shocked when Seungri greeted him with a hug. GD remained still for a few moments, before wrapping his arms around Seungri's thin frame. It felt perfect.
"I have great news, and since you're my best friend I wanted you to be the first to know," Seungri said excitedly as he pulled away from GD to face the older properly, much to GD's disappointment. He practically beamed as he began rummaging through his pockets. GD couldn't help but be amused at the adorable state of Seungri as he clumsily rummaged around, it was almost as if he hadn't aged one bit. GD fiddled with his scarf in anticipation, watching in silence as Seungri continued to look.
"well what is it?" GD asked in amusement, though he couldn't contain his curiosity as he watched Seungri. Finally, the younger had found what he was looking for. GD's happy expression was wiped away as Seungri pulled out a small velvet box, opening it to reveal a lavish ring of white gold that was encrusted with diamonds
"I'm going to ask her to marry me,"
With that, time stopped.
But I'd go through all that pain again, just to see you smile.
This is my story to farewell winter (I wish I snowed here), spring weather is so lovely. Life however, eh not so much. But there's nothing more lovely than walking to school with friends at this time of year.
Isn't GD's new song just lovely! He really is amazing at composing, as well as singing for such a young person. I can really relate to this song. A few years back, my friend liked me but I didn't really feel the same way. When I started to like him, he dated someone else. She definitely didn't suit him, he could have done so much better. She didn't want him to be friends with me because she got jealous of any other girl he talked to. Needless to say, we're not friends anymore. They're still dating while I sit here writing fan fictions, eating chocolate and Lillie's. LOL I've got it way better!
GD has really hit those feelings spot on, though.
Anyway, ignore my poor, angsty stories. I shall post something happier in the future!
Hope you enjoyed! ♡
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