his slender fingers grazed over the classic black and white keys of jongdae's piano. he hummed to himself, not caring whether he was offkey or not, for he could not hear. 

but he could sense the vibrations his throat emitted and that was enough. enough for him to consider himself as a normal boy humming a random tune.

-

yixing loved music. he may not be able to listen to it, but he could feel it. feel the heavy bass of a dubstep song that would literally send vibrations running down his spine. others would have ran out of the room as they could not stand the earsplitting music but yixing had no problem with turning the volume up, that was their problem. he wanted to feel the vibrations, to make sure he was at least still in contact with music. 

the dancer would sometimes shut himself in a dance practice room before turning the volume up to the max. he tried to listen, maybe an inkling of a noise would flow into his ears.

 

only silence surrounded him.

 

silence would surround him in a room filled with boisterous and loud music.

-

he would try to remember the old songs he would listen to when he was a little kid. before the accident happened. 

but he would soon give up, as no matter how much he willed his brain to give him music, it would backfire on him and soon a wave of migraine would envelop him and his consciousness, and he would shut his unwilling brain down and sleep it off.

-

sometimes a random tune would pop into his head and he would halt whatever he had been doing in order to savour the rare opportunity of listening to music. jongdae would just watch with curious eyes, wondering what sort of song did he remember this time around. then yixing would try to sign his experience to jongdae and the two would reminise old times.

usually yixing would remember the songs he used to dance to. before the accident, he had been an aspiring dancer. his mother had told him how proud she was to see him dancing so carelessly yet so fluidly to the music. apparently when he was an ickle toddler, he enjoyed dancing when his mother gave him a bath, ensuing into a chaotic clean up process as yixing would continue waving his arms around, splashing water onto his already wet mother. 

he wished he could return back to that time. 

he would lay down on the cold wooden dance floor and just stare at the low ceiling, remembering how he used to practice until he got sick of the song he was praciticing for. 

he missed that. 

how foolish he had been that time, to hate to having to listen to the song that had been on loop for hundreds of times. 

he would kill to listen to that song one last time.

-

he remembered the look of surprise on his dance mate's face when jongin found out he was deaf. the talented dance machine had stumbled upon a dancing yixing one lonely rainy day and jongin would just stare at him dancing. 

yixing didn't mind. he was used to audiences. 

what he wasn't used to was for the audience to clap in return. jongin had praised his dancing abilities as soon as he finished the song. yixing managed to catch all the words that exited the boy's mouth even though jongin had been talking at a really fast pace. jongin had claimed that he had such fluid yet crisp movements. 

he had been surprised at how good jongin was. 

the dance machine had then pointed out all his mistakes and areas where he could improve on by demonstrating. jongdae and kyungsoo had always said that he was a quick learner but jongin was quicker than him. yixing had watched the taller boy dance his heart away, swooping his attention off the floor. even though he couldn't hear, he could tell that jongin was hitting the right moves at the right beat.

 

he envied jongin. alot. 

-

yixing didn't mind being deaf at times. 

he could still see and vision was essential for a dancer. he would imitate the moves jongin would teach him, envisioning himself on a stage. the new friend was damn talented, yixing later found out that jongin had been trained in three different dancing styles and yixing's envy soon ran deep into his blood. 

though the envy would disappear once jongin told him how jealous he was of his own dancing style, for no matter how much he tried, no matter how experienced he was, he didn't have the passion that yixing had. 

 

nor did jongin have the crisp movements.

-

the crisp movements were unintentional. yixing used to have a similar dance style to jongin's, random spurts of energy pouring out of their bodies. but when yixing went deaf, he didn't know when to channel the energy, for before he had to time it precisely according to the beat of the music. he would usually choose the of the song but now that he didn't know when the was, he decided to instead, channel the energy through out the song.

the miniscule fire that grew in him was the reason for the crisp dancing style. he was angry for not being able to hear and that frustration soon ignited a fire within him. whenever he danced, he would release all his emotions at once and the emotions were enough to cause him to hit the right moves.

 

the passion he used to lack now existed within him.

 

but he now lacked timing.

-

at one point yixing had a crush on jongin. jongin, despite being extremely erted for a person of his status - yixing had found out that jongin had been the son of a famous dancer. the famous dancer was his mentor in the dance field - was friendly and patient. 

he never though much of jongin's patience until jongin's friends told him how surprised they were at how tolerant jongin was. yixing had simply blushed it away while baekhyun and chanyeol shared knowing looks. 

though he could have sworn that there was a glint of jealousy in chanyeol's eyes when he had turned tomato red. the glint of jealousy had mirrored the jealousy that he had for jongin's ability to hear and dance perfectly.

it scared him slightly, for sometimes he couldn't control the jealousy. he would find himself doing violent things to himself. 

whenever he was angry, he became violent. instead of harming others, he harmed himself. he remembered when he was only five years old and his dancing instructor had told him how disappointed she had been when he had failed to grasp the choreography after days of training. he had punched the mirror and stain the glass with red. 

 

so when yixing snapped out of his long train of thoughts, he had found himself changing. jongdae would comment on how much attention his eyes would give towards the lanky rapper. 

 

yixing was scared that chanyeol would turn out to be like him. 

 

he didn't want that, for he was a monster. chanyeol was too bright of a person, too cheerful to become a sad broken person like him. 

-

the first time kyungsoo and jongdae had recounted their tales they shared with jongdae's new obsession - or friend, as how jongdae had furiously signed -, yixing had been jealous. he was jealous that he couldn't listen to baekhyun's melodious singing nor chanyeol's cute deep rumbling.

 

it hurt. 

 

he would watch strangers widen their eyes or raise their eyebrows when they hear chanyeol speak. 

 

yixing was jealous. and hurt. 

 

he yearned to be able to listen, to hear. he wanted music back in his life, he wanted his friends' voices to enter his ears but most of all, he wanted to listen to chanyeol talk. 

-

 

he cried. 

 

the soundproof recording studio echoed of silent cries. yixing had been busying himself with experimenting with instruments that jongdae's parents had left behind. yixing had been shy at first to do so, for the instruments he touched belonged to the people who had loved jongdae with all of their hearts. 

 

yixing was an orphan. 

 

eventhough he couldn't claim that he knew how it felt to be loved by the people who let him into this world, he could at least sympathise. he didn't want to touch the instruments that jongdae's parents had once considered as treasures but jongdae had continued reassuring him that it was fine. 

when he looked at his reflection, he saw himself as the broken boy he was. he not only saw himself but he also saw kyungsoo and jongdae. 

he then realised that he wasn't the only one suffering from a disability, suffering from a misfortune that the higher ups relaxing in the sky had imposed on him. he had friends who suffer through similar problems. 

 

this comforted him. 

 

though he felt slightly guilty for feeling comforted by such things, for it was bad enough he was disabled, it was even more bad to take pleasure and comfort in someone else's pain. 

-

sometimes jongdae and kyungsoo would join him in the studio. kyungsoo would sing the lyrics that yixing had earnestly written down in scrambled writing and jongdae would help him rearrange the composition of the music. 

 

together they were one. 

 

despite that fact they all had lost a sense, if they stayed together, they would have all the senses they need. 

-

yixing had been holed up in the studio when his brain had finally started working. the gears spinned and spinned, and yixing finally realised that jongin was infatuated with one of his best friends. 

gulping down hot, swollen tears down his throat had been a bad idea. he was left with a scratchy throat. 

another cough linger in the air, making him frown. as much as he loved feeling the vibration of sound, he hated how harsh the coughing reflex's vibration was. they were unexpected and sudden, catching him offguard. 

a tap on his shoulder stopped the war between him and his throat. he turned around to be greeted by a wet yet smiling brightly as ever chanyeol. he quickly offered the rapper a dry towel to dry with before instructing the boy to shower after some hasty scribbling on the rough paper that he had crumpled beforehand in frustration. 

the studio was located in jongdae's mansion, therefore yixing practically lived there, spending most of his days and nights at either jongdae's empty dance studios or the recording studios. chanyeol had been lingering about the place, having accompanied baekhyun and jongin to visit jongdae. he had not expected to see yixing. 

 

-

chanyeol stared at the crumpled paper that yixing had shoved onto his chest along with the bundle of clothes and fluffy towel. he had just exited the bathroom, having took his time in cleansing himself of dirt. usually one would just throw the paper away but chanyeol was chanyeol, he was ever so curious therefore he scanned the paper.

 

"i can't hear the music

but i can see the pain

the loneliness seeps into me.

I'll just keep quiet so you can be happy"

 

only those two lines could chanyeol read for the rest of the scribbles were unreadable, hell those two lines were barely recognisable to the eyes. yixing's writing could give yifan a run for his money when it came to who wrote like a chicken. 

his eyes stared at the paper until they watered, for he refused to blink nor to avert his attention as well. yixing wrote those two lines, yixing had written them down personally with his own hands. 

 

yixing was suffering. 

 

and chanyeol wanted to stop that. chanyeol vowed to himself, he didn't care if yixing would never accept his love and return it back, that deaf dancer needed a companion and chanyeol was willing to be the shoulder that yixing would lean on for support. usually it was kyungsoo's and jongdae's job to be the pillar but seeing how preoccupied they were with their own defects and personal love lives, chanyeol would have to take the matter into his hands. 

 

the disabilities didn't only strip the three of their golden opportunities and optimistic careers, but also of their naivety and their happiness. the defects made them unable to move on, for he himself would be landed with depression if he woke up one day to find out his hearing was gone. for he was a fellow musician. 

 

the defects that their bodies had been affected by turned into an ilness. an incurable illness as the illness was an old friend of chanyeol's. 

 

depression.

-

"that sounded really good," chanyeol signed to yixing. the dancer mouthed a thank you and nodded in appreciation before realisation struck him, and the poor boy fell off his seat. the rapper helped the fellow schoolmate up before smirking down at the gaping kyungsoo-like face. 

"what?" the rapper mouthed, raising an eyebrow, even more amused at how confused and surprised yixing was. 

"you can sign?" yixing signed furiously, having finally calmed down. chanyeol nodded before grinning happily. "i started signing because i saw baekhyun doing it for jongdae."

"who are you doing it for? jongdae as well?" the deaf boy signed, putting on his headphones back on. 

"no, for you." chanyeol pointed to yixing's chest and sat beside him. 

it left yixing speechless. then tears of sheer happiness stemmed out of what used to be an unwavering guard of his soul which now crumbled flowed down his sculpted face. chanyeol had grinned his happy virus dorky smile in response complete with the right eye twitch (which yixing had subconsciously noticed after their umpteenth hangout). 

yixing was moved. never had he met someone so sincere, someone doing such a thing for him solely. usually he would read about those angelic people who accepted everyone for who they were in newspapers but there was an angel sitting beside him. his own angel. 

chanyeol had a pure heart with no malice contained, similar to baekhyun's. they said, similar beings flock together and that if you hang out with a good crowd, you'll be influenced by their purity. 

 

no wonder jongdae had fallen in love with baekhyun.

 

yixing couldn't see a reason why not to. 

 

just as how he couldn't see why he shouldn't let chanyeol into his life. 

-

sometimes he would stop producing and think about jongin. it wasn't because he wanted to, but his mind just wandered to that area of his brain unconsciously.

jongin had entered his life and yixing couldn't simply forget him with a snap of his fingers. but he could try moving on. it sounded impossible to him, how could he forget someone who inspired him to dance more?

 yixing glanced at his right and saw a dozing chanyeol with a blanket over him (which yixing had carefully placed over the long limbed boy) and decided that perhaps the feat was possible. 

 

yixing believed that everything was possible, they were just bloody difficult. 

 

the musician was willing to take the leap of faith and believe in the cheerful happy virus. 

-

chanyeol had noticed how estranged yixing had been when they first met in the library, where his group of circle and yixing's small group of friends had got together due to baekhyun and jongdae's friendship. the deaf boy had watched with rapt attention as his friends talked and it wasn't only when jongin arrived that they realised yixing was deaf. 

"oh, hey lay!" jongin had tried to sign. the dancer smiled in amusement before waving back. kyungsoo had stared at jongin with wide eyes.  later when chanyeol found out that kyungsoo was blind, he wondered how kyungsoo managed to even complete the feat of staring at someone without being able to actually see them.  

 

after that chanyeol realised how yixing would try to be intimidating and cold by sitting alone with headphones in place. only when kyungsoo and jongdae joined him, that was when yixing was his true self. 

chanyeol was interested. he wanted to see the true yixing for himself. call him greedy but chanyeol had always been greedy. he had been a bit heartbroken when he had watched baekhyun being stolen by jongdae bit by bit but he decided that he would take yixing in exchange. 

 

maybe baekhyun and jongdae being together was meant to be. 

 

chanyeol considered it a blessing in disguise. for he would have never met yixing if it wasn't for jongdae. 

so when yixing had hugged him for the first time, chanyeol was surprised. the deaf boy had just wrote on his back that he wanted a hug and chanyeol always looked so huggable, just like a oversized teddy bear. 

"a cuddly one," yixing had traced on his back. chanyeol had grinned like a happy fool, his body twitching along with his right eye. 

then the not so accidental body contacts increased and it escalated to skinship. yixing would sometimes hold chanyeol's coarse hands after a session of playing guitar with those sleek slender fingers. chanyeol would let him be and they would end up holding hands for the rest of the journey back home. 

when they parted ways, chanyeol made sure to stick around until yixing entered his apartment. 

he missed the heat that the deaf dancer had emanated. 

-

the sound of unfamiliar shrieking and woke chanyeol up from his sleep. he grunted in his sleep, mad at the fact that baekhyun was having at such an early time in the da- chanyeol's eyes widened when he realised that baekhyun was ing a very loud jongdae.

 

jongdae's voice had returned. 

 

yixing had woke up from the amount of disturbances chanyeol was making, for chanyeol and yixing shared a bunk bed with chanyeol at the top and yixing at the top. the deaf dancer glared sleepily at the rapper, which chanyeol found uncharacteristically cute before chanyeol quickly informed yixing what jongdae and baekhyun were busy doing. the rapper was too enthusiastic to bother signing but yixing caught his words alright, the dancer had bolted out of his bed quickly - though he had smacked his head against the low ceiling of the upper bunk bed before jumping up and down with glee.

yixing ended up crying out of happiness, and soon the rest of the boys caught on and a weeping yifan was a sight to behold, causing the boys to tease the dragon endlessly, with zitao smirking as the wushu warrior held thousands of won in his hand that he received from sehun for a bet. 

they all congratulated the happy couple, and watched as kyungsoo, jongdae and yixing shared a warm group hug that made the boys' eyes water up even more. 

 

chanyeol hoped that one day the happy couple would be him and yixing.

 

he could only pray and hope.  

-

yixing told chanyeol about his affection for jongin one sunday night. they had returned from a club after having dragged a drunk zitao and sehun back to jongdae's house. they had all moved into jongdae's mansion due to baekhyun's brilliant suggestion - well chanyeol thought it was brilliant as it meant more time and opportunity to hang out with yixing. 

chanyeol had replied calmly with an 'i know.' the science genius had patted his own shoulder before signing that yixing could borrow it for as long as he wanted to.

the deaf dancer hesitated at first but slowly complied to chanyeol's order for chanyeol's serious eyes made yixing realise that the fellow musician was not kidding about his offer. 

later that night - or early morning for they could see the sun rising, chanyeol had kissed yixing not ouf of selfishness but he kissed him in order to swallow yixing's muffled sobs. he wanted yixing to be rid of all loneliness and sadness, or at least transfer the weeping soul into his body instead.

 

he didn't want yixing to weep alone. 

 

chanyeol just couldn't bear to see yixing so and bare of all guards and walls and anti social mechanisms, that he realised how lonely and depressed yixing was without his alter identity. 

the least he could do was to weep along. 

he weeped for the broken love story that was their's. he weeped for how ed up he was for taking advantage of yixing when the poor boy was going through heartbreak and self hatred and . 

they slept together for the first time that morning.

-

his head throbbed, his throat was dry and he could feel his was sore and all he could remember was him screaming and chanyeol's low grunts.

his eyes snapped open fully, his brain on full alert. he quickly sat up, though he regretted doing so when the pain finally took over his body. his sudden movement had stirred chanyeol from his sleep and he could see the lanky boy's eyes fluttering open, watching him with dazed eyes. 

'what's wrong?' chanyeol lazily traced on yixing's bare lap. 

"they were right. kyungsoo and jongdae were right about your voice being low," yixing had uttered softly, startling chanyeol right away. the rapper just stared at yixing in shock and yixing merely grinned cheekily in return. 

"i can finally hear," yixing chirped happily, his voice cracking but the dimpled face on his face very visible. "and speak, i suppose," the dancer added. 

for the first time yixing listen to chanyeol fumble over his words, still surprised. yixing had smacked chanyeol's arm before scolding him in a playful tone, "come on, talk more! i want to hear more of your y deep voice."

chanyeol was surprisngly the first one to cry, he cried because he had watched yixing grow, he cried because he  had helped the boy to overcome his broken love story, he had watched yixing become a loveable young man no longer haunted by his music less life, and most of all he had lived long enough to be there for yixing when he regain his fifth sense. 

"i'm just so happy that i took a chance with you," chanyeol murmured with choked sobbing when yixing had awkwardly comforted him. yixing was surprised that chanyeol had broke down in front of him, usually it was the opposite. 

it was then when yixing had finally realised how chanyeol had always been there for him, through hard times, through happy times, through everything. 

-

yixing had been an orphan and grew up lonely.

but his friends had made his life scatter about, making him to go around and pick the bits up bit by bit before piecing them together.

chanyeol was the final piece that he held in his hand and he knew from the bottom of his heart that he would never have to live a lonely life ever again.

for he had chanyeol.

and he would never make the stupid mistake of letting him go.

 

-

 

nowadays yixing's songs brimmed with happiness and optimistic approaches to life, no longer were they about misery and pain and depression.

they bade their old friend depression a farewell. depression made its way to pass its duty onto happiness and exited the two's lives for good. for even depression nor death could ruin a relationship between two souls that were linked together by a song that was called love. the lyrics served as the guardian, for the lyrics were attempts  in where chanyeol tried hard to deepen the trust the two had. the trust between the two had grown so deep that the song was endless, ensuring a life free of depression and sadness and loneliness.

and the two danced happily throughout their lives  while composing music heartrending enough to release other people from their sufferings. 

-

/ / author's note : ugh, i ended up writing yixing's sidestory instead of kaisoo's. .__.