"Stupid bunny!" Kevin yelled with all his might, letting all the anger inside his hear come out. "What the hell do you think you're doing? You can't do this to me!"

"Of course I can!" Hoon laughed at the younger's expression, clearly enjoying the situation.

"I said no, Hoon... I don't like it" Kevin was laughing too, though. It was hard not to when you had your boyfriend tickling you in a crwoded street. 

"Don't you? I didn't know that's your I-don't-like-it laugh, then" the older smiled, feeling as a winner, and run after the other boy, who had decided to escape, trying to hide between the people around them.

They didn't run too much, after all, just enough to hide of the crowd in a narrow alley, Kevin gasping and laughing, pointing at Hoon, who had his hands on his knees, trying to catch his breath.

"Are you losing your form, babe?" smiled brightly "If I had run a little more you'd lost me, you know? Forever and after..."

Hoon put a hand on his chest, making a hurting face, a bit more real than Kevin thought.

"Look what you've done. You're breaking my heart, and it really hurts" smiled the older one, not really giving any importance to that little pain burning on him.

Kevin  let out a sigh, trying not to cry as he nervously changed the height of his body to rest from one to the other leg, feeling even sick of the situation, uncapable to stop yelling, and so aware that he could have even hit the other man. What did that make of him?

"You're going to hell" said Hoon, so serious and still so soft, while he caressed the back of his lover, who lied on his arms with his eyes closed, and chuckled

"Am I? then, you're coming with me, so it's not like I mind" answered Kevin, letting his head rest on the other's chest, smiling at the way his heart was beating, so fast, yet not so strong.

"Well, but I'm not going. At least not to the same hell you are" Kevin frowned at that, looking at the other man.

"Why? there is just one hell, you know? So we are going together"

"And I'm saying not. You're hell is just for people who believe in the same god, isn't it? So I'm not going"

"Yes you are!" The youngest started to get anxious. What if that was true? was he going to be alone, without his lover even after death? "It's just a matter of..."

"Believes? Sorry, but I have my own religion now. And I'm going to its heaven"

"Are you leaving me alone?" Kevin tried so hard not to cry, and Hoon laughed, was it really so important? he kissed Kevin's nose, and smiled lightly.

"I am, but just because I want to die first, so I don't have to see that happen to you."

"So selfish..." sighed Kevin, hitting him on the shoulder, with a pout that Hoon soon kissed. "Ok, and which is your religion, that is gonna separate us, uh?"

"Kevinism." Hoon smiled brightly, while the other blushed "Do you want me to show you how is a piece of its heaven like?"

"Well... we can give it a try" laughed the younger boy, and so his lover kissed him rolling a bit on the bed, pushing Kevin to the mattress, and letting his hands caress all the of his lover as he kissed all his skin, sighing just at the thought of touching again his own paradise.

"You had prepared this" muttered Kevin understanding then "weren't you? You wanted me to go so you can do this without me nothing, isn't it?" He cleaned the tears running down his cheeks with the back of the hand, too mad to cry, yet so hurt to stop doing it.

Hoon was chasing the other man all around the house they nearly shared. It was actually Kevin's, but Hoon was there for so long, even with Kevin's mother and sister, that somehow it was his home, too.

"Listen to me, Kevin..."

"I do not want to! I've heard anything I need" he was clearly upset, not wanting to hear a single word of the other. "You're not coming, do I have to know anything else?"

"You have to understand" sighed Hoon, finnally sitting on the couch, his faced buriend on his hands. "I want to rest"

"You can rest in San Francisco too" replied the other one, stubbornly.

"It's not the same rest, Kevin. I'm done with trips, I can't take another plane without passing away, I swear. And that's not all. You want to show me San Francisco, right? and go sightseeing and meeting your family and... I just want to stay at home a couple weeks before the new comeback, that's all"

Hoon looked at his boyfriend, and Kevin nodded, understanding. They all were tired, of course, but in Hoon it was even worse. He looked so pale, and exhasuted... he had dark marks under his eyes, which were sunken, and he even wondered when did the before so muscular boy lost all that weight.

"It's ok... but I'm gonna miss you. You have to promise me we'll talk each day. Or..."

"You'll go, and we'll talk on the phone as much as you want each day, it doesn't matter what time it is, I'll pick the phone. Ok?" Hoon put out a pinky, and Kevin smiled, entangled his with it, putting a soft kiss on the lips of the other.

And so Kevin went by his own to visit his family, and as promised, he phoned every single day to his lover, who always picked up the phone, listening patiently all the things Kevin had to tell him, smiling at each detail, and always avoiding the moment to tell his lover about him.

"Me? I miss you" he used to say, quietly, and smiled knowing the face Kevin was making in the other side of the phone.

"I miss you too... I'm gonna die if I don't have you with me tomorrow..."

"Of course you won't... I bet you can live another day without me" it was always the same, and Hoon always won the bet, as he always heared the phone the next day.

The day before his return to Korea was different. Kevin phoned, as he always did, but there were no response. The boy frowned, but he decided not to give importance, maybe Hoon was still sleeping, or was out for something and forgot his phone or... He tried few more times, and the last one he let the voicemail start, to leave a message  "It's Hoon... I guess I can't take the phone right now, sorry. If you're Kevin... I hope you know that I love you" said the voice of his boyfriend, and Kevin chuckled happily.Definitely Hoon was out without his phone, and the younger smiled at the though of his boyfriend, too absorted on his own world to realize he hadn't it with him, and finally desisted, knowing Hoon would phone him as soon as he arrived home again.

He was packing when he heard the phone ringing, and he run to pick it up, dying for hearing his voice again.

Kevin fell down on his knees, clenching his fist around the piece of paper he brought with him, "why? I just want to know that. Why, Hoon? why didn't you tell me?"

"Dear Kevin,

I guess you're so mad at me now, right? I don't blame you, I know this would happen, but it's the way I wanted it.

Maybe you've chose to hate me, and it is the best you can do, actually, but before it happens, let me explain myself: The only truth is that I didn't want you to be hurt.

I loved you with all my heart, even though it was a weak one. If I knew for starters I hadn't done a single move for you to love me, but I couldn't control it. And having spent all this time by your side, I know I'd have regreted if this didn't happen.

Do you remember when we talked about heaven? Well, you can say I kept my promise... I didn't want it to be this soon, but I couldn't help it, and I'm sorry I can't pick up your phone again, or grow older together as we wanted to, in that house we were going to have.

Just let me tell you something, and this is important, babe, so stop crying, please, and listen to me: You were my entire life, but I'm not yours. I know you feel alone. I know you want to hit me and you want me to be back, but it's not gonna happen. So I want you to forget me, and find a love that trully deserves you, and who can make you happy forever. You will, right? I know you can promise this to me, because I bet you can live another day without me.

Thank you, Kevin, for all the things you make for me, for having that smile, for loving me that much, and for letting me love you.

Good bye, Kevin... I'm sorry.

Hoon.

PS: Even now, never matter what happen, I hope you know that I love you."

The latter boy cried his heart out, kneed in front of his lover's grave. It couldn't be happening, he knew, it was a nightmare, and what hurt the most was knowing he wasn't going to wake up.

Sobbing, Kevin took his phone, and dialed again the only number he had done the past weeks. "It's Hoon... I guess I can't take the phone right now, sorry. If you're Kevin... I hope you know that I love you" the voice repeated again, and crying all his pain out, Kevin replied to that simple message. "I hope you know that I love you, too."