Oh my gosh, I had a super big project for two of my classes so I was busy, but I managed to finish it after ! It was so fun writing this. XDDD

It was only fair that Xiumin receive the privilege of using the bathroom first upon arriving home from another hectic schedule such as that very day, jet-lagged from the plane ride and sweaty from the stuffy performance hall where they stood, danced, and left. It was only fair that the small member of the M Sub-unit groaned and moaned as much as he wanted to because he, to put it lightly, worked his off each and every time, despite parts and how little he really sang; he could scream and he could dance, it was equally important if not more. Lastly, it was definitely fair that he could choose to shower alone, all of the warm, cream coated room to himself, the bathtub sunken in the perfect degree and filling up to his chest. It was all fair because as the oldest of EXO overall, and being one to train for a significantly long time, that's just the way it goes.

He deserved it, end of story.

But to some, this would be seen as unfair privilege in a dorm housing 12 and extremely mean seeing as at least three people could fit in that tub alone. So what, Xiumin shrugged off the thought as he gently ed his tight fitting pants. He had planned to sue the coordi-noona as soon as possible after she gave him the wrong pants size and he was forced to move in them. Not only were they much too tight for life, but it wasn't safe to wear pants that size when someone named Kim Jongdae or Chen was in the same vicinity. Don't get him wrong, Xiumin loves Chen much more then he shows it, they are after all dating, if people planned to add a label to it, but Chen was a master of tricks, the ultimate troll of exo along with one Kim Jongin aka Kai or just plain devil.

Between the two, numerous stories could be compiled of how they switched seasoning with pepper while Kyungsoo had been cooking and everyone but the two just happened to be "full already;" how Tao's favorite panda plushy was found in Kris' underwear drawer (the blonde denied it once and no one believed him, in fact, he was suspected even more), Chanyeol and Baekhyun's phones were lost at a music core recording ( funny, one was found in Shinee's dressing room and the other with SNSD (Baekhyun refused to speak to Chanyeol for a week after escaping with a large kiss mark to his cheek)), Suho's organized agenda , honestly its flawless, suddenly became scribbled over with stupid to-dos and an awkward picture that translated to him on top of a unicorn- Nothing else needs to be said on the matter. Then Kai told Luhan that Donald Duck died in a car accident and Chen told Luhan to hide, which he did, while he made up a tale of ransom and kidnapping to Sehun, who in turn cried.

The list could go on and on, but the result is essentially the same, together they were infamous at wrecking lives, apart they wreaked havoc on their members anyway. For safe measure, Xiumin double, triple checked the lock on the door to make sure it would hold, before pulling his zipper down and releasing the relentless pressure on his lower region. He pulled it off with difficulty and folded the expensive garment carefully, tugging his tight fitting shirt from his goose bump covered flesh to do the same. He sighed once the cool air met his bare skin and left the clothing on top of the sink, walking over to the tub and turning the tab lightly. One thing Xiumin doubts anyone has yet to notice is when there's an abundance of hot water, it spills out instantly, thus giving him even more reason to use it first. He secretly cackled to himself for being an evil genius and slipped into the warm contents of the tub, pawing at a shampoo bottle that belonged to Chen. He liked the way it threaded through his hair so easily and the smell of sweet pineapple that permeated the air.

Secretly, he always used Chen's shampoo as his own means of affection, not because he was too lazy to buy his own (of course not), but he liked smelling like his boyfriend, loved it even. He liked Chen's gentle hands wrapping around his waist as he burrows his nose in Xiumin's hair, only to say the older boy smells so deliciously familiar. Xiumin liked that, and he would never let the other know since he could possibly use it against him in the future scheme of things. Lathering his hair with a generous amount of shampoo, Xiumin closed his eyes and relaxed in the hot, sizzling water, humming a song whose name he forgot as he did so. If not for the scrubbing of his own fingers, Xiumin felt as if he could sleep in the tub forever. He liked being alone like this, having some peace and quiet without having to plead for it.

Living with 5 other men was hard enough, but when you make it 11, you’re asking for trouble. The small boy honestly couldn't understand how Leeteuk, Kris, and Suho did it, how they brought everyone together into a complex blend of perfect proportions, as the eldest, Xiumin was particularly glad he wasn't deemed leader, which would be so much worse. Tao is afraid of ghosts (that kid is way too touchy), Luhan wants Christmas presents in the summer (Xiumin swears he heard him begging Kris), Baekhyun wants eyeliner and hand lotion(as if he really needs it), Kris gets pissed over anyone going near his BB cream(he really is a sometimes), Lay is going to walk into a pole one day if he keeps blanking out, Chanyeol is just . . . Chanyeol should stay the same, Sehun is scary, Kyungsoo needs well . . . Xiumin didn't want to seem biased, but Kyungsoo was one of the few members who seemed fairly normal, even if he's Kai's personal . . . Thingie. Suho is sweet just the way he is and that's all there is to-

BANG!

Xiumin jolted from his mental list making, he had a knack for it, and opened his eyes only for suds to drop into them and burn his very sockets to the core. Another bang against the door and Xiumin was in the same painful position, screaming as he tried his best to wash the soap from his hands in order to rub the burning substance from his eyes. 

"HYUNG! I KNOW YOU'RE IN THERE! CHENNIE WANTS TO COME IN!" He knew it was too good to be true. Finally pressing the soap from his eyes and blinking away most of the pain, Xiumin allowed the anger in him to build up.

"KAI, GO OFF!" The pale man squinted his eyes as a wave of stinging passed through him and tuned his ears in to listen. He could hear faint whispering and evil cackling and he was sure that Kai and Chen were totally fine with breaking down the door if they wanted. Kai could dance his way out of trouble and Chen could sing “What is Love” and be off the hook too.

It wasn't fair. 

"I CAN HEAR YOU BY THE DOOR! GO AWAY!" He may have been being a bit harsh on his boyfriend, wait no he wasn't, and Kai deserved it. He was infuriating just for the hell of it. Settling back against the rim of the tub, Xiumin resumed shampooing his hair and keeping a wary glance at the door just in case Chen or Kai could try anything else. That lock wasn't the sturdiest, but for a second Xiumin thought the threat was over.

"MINNIE HYUNG!" Kill me for liking that erted idiot. Xiumin sighed and dunked his head underwater, making the sounds of Kai yelling outside of the door and Chen revealing all of his soft spots all become background music. He surfaced to silence and his bangs trying to blind him and began to wash the soap out the right way. By now the water was luke warm against Xiumin's flushed skin, and he wanted to experience the scalding heat. He stood and reached down for the tap, the shower head vibrating for a few moments before he was sprayed with fiery droplets. Showering alone was definitely worth experiencing such euphoria. Still, it was too quiet. Xiumin turned to looked towards the door only to see nothing. The door was closed and locked up tight and why was he beginning to feel like the girl who dies in the beginning of a slasher movie? A sliver of nervousness crawled up his straightened back and caused the hairs on the back of his neck to stand.

Why is it when Kai and Chen do nothing, they still manage to freak people out? 

"You'd think it'd give me enough reason to dump him," Xiumin grumbled quietly, squeezing out the matching conditioner into the palm of his little hand. Despite being a major pain in his , metaphorically and literally speaking, when he wasn't being an idiot and messing with everyone, Chen could be quite tolerable. He'd do almost everything Xiumin asks of him, "almost" being the keyword. He wouldn't stop plotting with Kai or jumping him whenever he just felt the need and he never slept in his own bed (Xiumin overlooks that fact since he receives a free lullaby and warmth throughout the night, he is an opportunist after all). He could be cute, not in the Luhan or Kyungsoo way, but the Chen way, like when his thin lips slowly curl into a mischievous smile and there's that bright glint in his eye when he's thought of the perfect form of torture for one of the members. Xiumin thinks it's cute (again, he would never admit it out loud) even if he is subjected
to that torture.

"Ooooooohhhh," A whispery voice wafted through the bathroom and Xiumin tried his best to ignore it. He was used to being attacked and refused to fall prey to their tricks.

"Xiuuuminnnn," Okay, screw that. Xiumin scrubbed his scalp a bit harder, flinching as a well-placed nail scraped his sensitive head. Chen would not be getting any kisses for a week for that. He moved his fingers quickly in a circular motion, scrubbing so hard his oblivious form missed the jingling of the door or the precise tug off the door as it was pried open slightly, hot air drifting through the crack in the wood. He missed the giggles concealed behind the door and the whisper of "he's all yours Chennie" followed by a "Duh, he's my boyfriend" and a ". . . Shut up! You know what I mean! Would you just go! He's and everything!" then an "I-I'm going, and don't call me Chennie! It's weird!" Kai nudged Chen hard enough to pressed against the door, but luckily not hard enough to produce a squeak. Chen shot his partner a glare before bunching the towel clinging to his waist in his hands and inching his way inside.

Steam still filled the room in a light sheen, the fogged air hot to the skin as it blasted passed the trickster and out the open door. He smiled to himself, having enough sight to make out the silhouette of his boyfriend behind the thin curtain. The scent of pineapple met his nose in greeting and Chen felt his devious smirk fall into an adoring smile. He knew there had to be a reason Xiumin always smelled like a pineapple, his favorite scent. He's so cute for trying to hide this from me.

Chen knew he wasn't the best boyfriend in the world, and in all honesty he did try, but sometimes he felt as though Xiumin simply dated him out of pity instead of mutual feelings. Sure he stopped pushing the main vocal away at night when he sneaks into his bed and he accepts the sweet kisses and other very special benefits Chen likes to offer, but he always seemed so distant. Chen knew he was a kid compared to Xiumin, he likes plotting against the other members and their managers with Kai for the hell
of it, but it was something he couldn't help. And even if he does love doing all that bad, he loves Xiumin so much more.

Chuckling at how tense Xiumin's back was through the curtain, Chen tugged the plastic material back and stepped into the calf high water, almost yelping at how hot the water was to the touch. How could his love stand this hot water!?

"What the hell Xiumin, why is the water so hot!" It was always fun to see Xiumin's reactions, that's why Chen picked on him the most. The shorter boy spun, nearly tripping against the flow of water and potentially hitting his head against the tiled wall or falling out of the shower completely. His big eyes widened in horror as his mouth hung in a clueless circle. He was just too cute looking like that, Chen almost felt bad for doing his next move, almost be the key word. He took the still gawking Xiumin by his shoulders and pressed him against the wall, water drenching them both. 

"W-W-What the Chen! What are you even doing in here! I l-dsbndiwow" Chen covered his mouth with hand and smiled, watching Xiumin's eyes dilate as he began to fight back.

"That door is much too easy to pick. Kai didn't even need to use any power tools like last time. And stop squirming Yeobo, I came to do something really quick!" Xiumin screamed something angry, his eyebrows arching down to aid his glare as Chen leaned in and pressed his lips to that pale neck. He wouldn't dare. If there was one thing Xiumin hated more than being jumped in a bathroom, more than Kris in the morning and Kai on a regular basis, it was hickeys. Hickeys were degrading and territorial and possessive and Xiumin hated seeing the red marks on anyone. He refused to be marked by Chen, no matter how much the other tried while he was completely gone in a state of euphoria. Even then, he blatantly refused to have any inch of him skin reddened by those thin lips. Maybe it was mean, maybe it hurt Chen's feelings, but Xiumin couldn't give a flying .

And to top it all off, it drove the coordi noona's crazy. If they couldn't give him the right pants size, imagine how hard they'd brush makeup on his skin just to cover up a love bite? Once, they made Luhan cry. He and Sehun had gone overboard the night before (they can't really be blamed, it was the first time both groups had seen each other in a long while) and Luhan's neck and chest were littered with pink and red bruises, one a ugly purple that made him flinch each time it was touched, and the chordi noona yelled at him. The group covered it up by saying it was an outbreak of hives from something the Chinese male was allergic to, but the coordi noona kept a steady evil eye at Sehun the entire time.

Xiumin was scared. Chen continuously kissed along his neck, searching for the perfect spot, waiting for Xiumin to reveal to him that sensitive patch of skin that would become home to a long overdue hickey. Xiumin squeezed his eye shut tightly and bit Chen's palm. He felt this was something too soon. Yes, they've been together for a little over five months, and they do have a healthy life (Xiumin has virtually no say in the matter), but a hickey was a billboard sign saying 'This is mine. You can't touch.' It was a sort of permanent brand despite being able to vanish over time. Xiumin felt too much like a cow. He flinched. Chen hand kissed his collar bone and it tickled. Is that what a soft spot feels like? He never let Chen kiss his neck before. When Chen felt the movement, he smiled and brushed his lips against the skin again. Xiumin trembled against his fingertips. He smiled even harder, taking the skin up slightly as he gently on it. He had noticed his lover's reluctance to be marked and decided it would be the greatest prank at all, and he had always wanted to taste Xiumin's skin under his tongue. He over the smarting skin before it once again.

"Ah-h! S-Stop." He moaned quietly, blood sprouting across his cheeks and the bridge of his nose as Chen chuckled deeply into his neck, rubbing his nose against the newly made bruise to Xiumin's otherwise blemish-free flesh. 

"You smell like pineapples," Chen murmured, the shower water almost blocking out his voice, "I just want to eat you up." Xiumin shivered, Chen was so unbearably disgustingly attractive it was a shame. Why was he attracted to him so much? Why did he . . . love him so much?

"F- you," Xiumin moaned quietly, his arms unconsciously wrapping around Chen's slick neck to pull him closer, his head falling back to give his boyfriend more access. Being like this with Chen was causing Xiumin serious head trauma and a lack of breath. It was a new feeling having his neck much like a vampire, a tongue at his wet skin and teeth nibbling on the same exact spot. Xiumin still hated hickeys, he would refuse for a month just to spite Chen, but the process wasn't that bad. He actually enjoyed it.

"Chen," Xiumin breathed in the small male, wanting so much more than a damn hickey. Chen slid his hands along Xiumin's lower torso, teasing him when all he really wanted was to him into the shower wall with no remorse, using up all of the hot and probably cold water, and ignoring everyone who would most likely be banging on the door. But he didn't. It wasn't a part of the plan. 

"Mmm, f- me." Xiumin would never ever say it unless he really needed Chen, and he was beginning to become annoyed with the teasing. He wanted more touches, more kisses, he wanted that burning pain in his followed by the greatest form of pleasure he has ever known. Chen just had that effect on him a quarter of the time. 

"Enjoy the rest of your shower," His voice was deep and husky, sheer force of will the only thing standing between him and Xiumin's supple, able .  

"W-Whaa?" Xiumin watched with confusion bubbling in the vat of stomach as Chen pulled away and smiled that smile he loved.
The smile full of pure evil. No. He wouldn't dare walk out on him when he needed him. Chen wouldn't. As Xiumin's pretty eyes widened again in anger at watching his lover slip through the lock-picked door, he erupted, the water dripping against his shoulders turning cold. That . That little played him.

"CHEN! GET YOUR ING BACK HERE AND ME! YOU !!!" Chen cracked a smile as the other members stared at him with astonishment clear in their eyes. 

"Pay up."

"But Xiumin never breaks!" Chanyeol hissed and tossed the bills into Chen's open palm, Baekhyun following suite before taking the Happy Virus by the hand and pulling him back to their room for some F&R (if you get the drift). 

"I knew he wouldn't last, even Xiumin Hyung can't resist him," Kai said, happy he hadn't made the bet in the first place.

"You're at an unfair advantage," Lay huffed, pulling his last bill from his pocket and giving it to Chen. Suho rolled his eyes as he watched Lay nearly walk into a door on his way towards the kitchen. Does his boyfriend need him that much?

"It's not right to bet on your boyfriend," Kyungsoo said as he walked away, "You won't be getting any in a long time."





"All of you are ing retarded." Only Kris could come up with such a statement before tugging Tao along with him like they were on a runway.


\

Trolling on Xiumin: Success.


Chen: 57 Xiumin: -25

XDDDDDDDDDDDDD Oh my gosh .