He just want to be the first. The first. The first in everything. He just think, that he deserved it. Remember what he stand for.

            “Enough for today, Zhang Yixing....” a girl whos stand behind his back whispered softly.

            Yixing turn his head to see the girl who stand 3 meters away from his full-sweat body. He looked at her with tired-hopeless glance, “Its not enough. Not good enough,”

            “Yixing-ah,” she called him again with her soft voice. Her small body move closer to Yixing who sit breathless-ly on the floor. “What makes you feel so obsessed this time, Yixing-ah?” her small and soft hands grab Yixing on his face. Forced Yixing to look into her brown orb.

            Yixing look away, and move her hand away from his face gently, “No. Nothing.”

            That girl take a deep breathe. Make a loud-sigh.

            Zhang Yixing just want to make her  proud with him. Really. He just want to make her proud to be his beloved. Yixing just want to get everyones attention like the others. He just want to, everybody see him as much as everybody see his ‘brothers’.

            “You hurt your feet again,” the girl said. Her face look shocked when she realize, theres a red-scratch in her boyfriend’s ankle. Yixing suddenly pull up his socks to cover up his wound on his ankle, “Its nothing. I’m okay.”

            “Oppa, show it to me. You hurt,” she asked.

            Yixing didnt answer her and stand up again. He just ignores his beloved who stared at him with worried-look. His long finger, press the ‘play’ button in the stereo and he start to dance again. He stared at his reflection in the mirror. Wondered where is the mistake. And start to cursed himself when he realized, that his move was not good enough. He just want to look better than everyone else. He just want to look better than now.

            “Aaaah!!!”

            He fell again.

            “Damn!” he cried in pain in his ankle. His ankle is damn hurt now. Too hurt, until his heart also feel the pain too. Why he cant do that? He’s working very hard, right?

            “Stop it now, Zhang Yixing!” that girl run into falling-yixing. Hug him and crying, “ I beg for you Yixing-ah.... stop hurting your body.”

            Yixing didnt answer. He just put his head in her neck, feeling her heat, “I love you so damnly, Jung Hyora. Dont leave me.”

            “You little pabo! I’ll never leave you, you know?” she smacked his back, crying loudly. Yixing gives her a little smile. Hyora grab Yixing’s head and get closer to him. Let their forehead touching each other. “Never.” She said.

            Yixing bites his bottom lips. A little tears start to falling from the corner of his eyes. He feels afraid. He afraid if Hyora will leave him alone.

Jung Hyora. That girl...... all that he wanted is that girl. Jung Hyora on his side forever. He just want to make Hyora proud with him.

She his hair, “What happend? Is there something distrub you, Yixing?”

“Too much happend. Too much until i dont know where i must to start to tell you about what happend.”

She’s smiling, “It’s okay. You cant start from anywhere. I’ll wait patiently.”

He looked at her and take a deep breathe, “I’m fine. I just..... feel not satisfied with my self.”

            Hyora look deeply at Yixing’s brown orbs. “You are perfect. Eveythings on you it just perfect, Zhang Yixing,” she smiled and kiss him on his forehead. He sobbed. With just a little kiss in his forehead, Zhang Yixing felt guilty for doubting her love. But, what he can do now? Yixing is very afraid to lose her.

            “I’m sorry Hyora,” he said.

            “What? You didnt do something bad to me,”

            “I cant make you proud with me. I cant make you proud to be my girlfriend,” yixing pull his face away from her. “What do you mean?” she asked.

            Yixing grab his hair hardly, sign that he was so frustated at this time, “Fail. Everything i do is...... not work! Disaster!”

            Jung Hyora choose to keep silent and hear all that Yixing said now. Hyora knew that being a member of famous boyband was not easy. And she know, all that Yixing wants is attention. For him. Entirely.

            “No one saw me. Hyora.....” he said.

            Hyora shook her head, “They saw you, Yixing. They love you.”

            “Not as much as they see the others. Not as much as the loved Luhan-ge, Kris-ge, Taozi, Jongdae and Minseok!”

            “What do you want, Yixing? Why are you never satisfied?” she ask him softly

Yixing stuck at her words. Satisfied?

Damn with that words. He can swear,  he not feel satisfied at all. Look, do you forget how long he’s been trained to be a boyband? 4 years. Its not a short time. 4 years he feel homesick, lonely for being like this. And now, what he get? He always think, what he get now is not worth with what he’s fighting for.

            “Yixing,” Hyora grab Yixing’s hands.

            “I just want to make it equal.”

            “Equal? Worth?”

            “I’ve been trained for 4 years. And 4 years isnt a short time, Hyora....” he bites his lips to hold his tears.

            He take a deep breathe, “4 years i left my family in China. 4 years i ignored my family and feel homesick all the time. 4 years i feel lonely and being bullied...... you know  how disappointed i am, when i know my role for this boyband? A main dancer? Just a main dancer? I’ve been trained for being a singer. Am i that bad with singing?”

            Hyora shook her head quickly, “No. You’re perfect,”

           “I hurt my voice tape for 4 years and just get a small singing part. You know what makes me more upset and disappointed with myself? I dont blame him..... but Jongdae could be a Main Vocal in just 11 month, Hyo.....” he cried.

            “Is my voice sounds really bad?” he sobbed.

           Jung Hyora keep whip his tears away from his pale-skin face, “No. Impossible. Your voice is the sweetest. Your voice is my favourite.”

            Yixing hug her tightly. Music has stop from the stereo. Now, all we can hear in this room, its just their breathe sounds and their emotional cry.

           “I make my daddy humiliated, Hyo....”

           “Shut up your mouth Yixing-ah. How do you know he feel humiliated because of you?” she said. Yixing not answer again. He just put his face in her neck. Hug him, kiss her neck.

            “Youre his pride. You should know how much he loves you. You should know how much he proud with you. No matter what you are, Yixing....” she whispered.

           “You’ll leave me someday,”

           Hyora laugh, “I already said that right? I’ll never leave you.”

            “I’m failed become famous boyband. Theres no one who see me. Leave me, Hyora. I cant make you proud,” he said.

             Hyora shook her head. Gently, she broke their hug and put her forehead on Yixing’s,“I see you, Yixing. I’m with you. Why you always think thats no one see you? Cant you see me here? I’m Jung Hyora. Your girlfriend. Your beloved. Who will stay with you forever. I’m too proud with you until i dont have any words to prove, how-much-proud-with-my-boyfriend,”

            “I’m sorry,” Yixing close his eyelid. “I’m sorry for doubting on you.” He said.

             “You’re perfect Zhang Yixing. Your voice, your move, your body, your face, your smile, your heart. Everything on you it just perfect just the way you are. You always gives everyone your love. Why you never try to gives your self love, hm?” she smiled.

               Hyora pull Yixing into a kiss. She pull back and smiled, “Stop saying sorry to me or cursed your self. Arra?”

               Yixing nodding and get closer to her. Pull in to a kiss. A soft and romatic kiss until Yixing slipped his tongue into her hot cavern. Explore until Hyora feel breatheless.

               “You’re mine. Forever.” He said while kissing her forehead.

                Hyora smiled and hug him, “Your love is my drunk. Youre the only one who can made me crazy like this. Believe with ur self, Yixing. I’m with you. From now, tommorow. Forever,”