A few days later…

 

You were just practicing in the dance studio with the SuJu guys  since you were going to have a live performance with them in two days. Actually you were looking forward to it and always had a lot of fun dancing but today it seemed like it wasn´t your day. You felt bad ever since you woke up. Maybe it was just the weather.

You tried to concentrate on the dance steps but due to the headache you got you could not really. Over time the roar of the music took on a weird sound and everything in front of you began to blur. You had to pause for a moment and slowly staggered to the side, one hand on your head.

,,___-ah, are you okay?”

Even Donghaes voice seemed far away.

,,Yes…I´m just feeling a little dizzy.”, you said and shortly thereafter you felt your knees giving in and sagging to the ground. Then everything went black around you.

When you opened your eyes again you saw Leeteuks face and felt someone smacking your cheeks to get you back. Next to it there was Donghae who looked down at you with wide-opened eyes and tried to talk to you.

,,__ah! __-ah!! Wake up! Can you hear me?? Say something. Are you here?”

Just when you wanted to say something you realized you were almost too weak to speak.

,,Shall we call the doctor?”, Leeteuk asked you with a serious face. You shook your head.

,,No…”, you uttered. But he turned his head to Donghae who nodded.

Leeteuk stood up while Donghae bent down on you to lift you up shortly after and carry you out of the door, closely followed by Leeteuk.

,,We take her to Mr.Won,  you keep on dancing, okay?”, he exclaimed to the rest of the group.

 

Fortunately the room of their manager was on the same floor. As you arrived there, he you with a surprised face and called out for the doctor who came straightway.

,,What happened?”, the men wanted to know as Donghae carefully lay you down on the flatbed.

,,She just collapsed.”, Leeteuk explained.

,,I think I´ve just drunk a little less today…”, you replied exhausted.

The physician checked your eyes and measured your blood pressure.

,,Your blood pressure is very low…”, he found. ,,You are very weak, when was the last time you ate?”, he asked you.

,,I´m on a diet.”, you answered.

,,Well, you shouldn´t exaggerate. Your body needs nutrients and vitamins during schedule. I´m going to administer you an infusion for your body to regain in strength and also for your circulation to stabilize. You nodded weakly. ,,Nevertheless you should have a rest the next days.”, the doctor continued.

,,We got a performance in two days…”, Leeteuk said.

Donghae nodded. ,,Will she be able to stand on the stage again until then?”, he wanted to know. 

The physician sighed. ,,If she goes easy on today and…tomorrow. She needs to rest. And above all she needs to eat!”, the doctor admonished while the infusion was running through.

,,We make sure she does.”, Donghae promised.

,,Ne…”, Leeteuk agreed.

 

You had to lie for a few minutes yet before Donghae and Leeteuk brought you to their apartement, from where Donghae called the others.

,,They are almost done and bring something to eat for us. For you, too!”, he informed you with his eyebrows raised after he had hung up.

Leeteuk had brought you to his room he shared with Kyhyun and Sungmin.

,,You should rest a little. We´re here if you need something. Just call, okay?” You nodded silent and shaped a soundless ´thank you´ with your lips. Shortly after the two left you alone and slowly your eyes were getting heavy and you fell asleep.

 

 

When you slowly woke up again, Ryeowook and Sungmin were in the room. Ryeowook who was virtually sitting next to you and eating seemed to work on a new song and Sungmin lay on his bed and busied himself with his cellphone. You propped yourself up on your arms and paused as you felt dizzy again.

,,Oh, ___-ah!”, Ryeowook said when he noticed you were awake.

Sungmin merely gave you a sidelong glance.

,,How long have I been sleeping?”, you wanted to know.

,,Ehm…quite a long time! Are you feeling better now?”, Ryeowook asked.

,,Well…a bit…”

,,You should eat something. We brought you something, wait…” Ryeowook opened a blue bag that was lying next to him on the ground. You briefly looked over to Sungmin but he hardly seemed to notice you.

Ryeowook sat down next to you and opened a box with mandu. The smell rose in your nose even before he offered you a piece of it in front of your mouth, feeding you. It tasted good.

,,Thanks.”, you said. You managed to eat half the portion which was satisfying considering the momentary circumstances. For a short moment you noticed Sungmins look but as you looked his direction he turned back to his cellphone.

,,You see? It goes! If you want to be on stage with us on Saturday you have to eat. We don´t want you to get sick.” Ryeowook looked at you pouting and with his cute dimples. Then he glared at Sungmin and eventually stood up.

,,___-ah, I´ll go looking for the others, okay? If you happen to need something just say it. Sungmin-ah, you look after her, yeah?” Ryeowook gave him a threatening look.

Sungmin sighed annoyed and nodded.

When the eternal maknae finally left, you stood up and went to the window to open it. You needed fresh air. Sungmin still gave no further sound of himself and ignored you completely.

,,You don´t have to be here if you don´t talk to me anyway.”, you said while still looking out of the window.

,,I´m supposed to stay here and look after you.”, he replied tersely.

,,Oh, well then, I´m fine. So do yourself at no compulsion. You can go.”

For a short moment he looked at you stunned before he suddenly stood up.

,,It´s my room, so you go!”  He stood there with his hands in his side. You were shocked by his reaction and almost started to cry but you put yourself together.

,,Fine.”, you said and walked to the door but shortly before you could open it Sungmin held you back. 

,,___-ah! Wait!”

You turned your head before he grabbed you and put you back to bed.

,,You´re supposed to rest.”, he reminded you and shook your cushion a bit. As you slowly leaned back he suddenly looked at you.

,,___-ah…I don´t want to fight with you.”, he said.

,,Me neither…I hate it.”, you admitted.

,,But you know…what you said really hurt me. I felt like you don´t like me anymore.”, he told you.

,,I didn´t want you to think that… I still like you, you stupid fool! I was just worried. Or maybe I´m just not used to this side of you…”

,,That´s the point…”, Sungmin sighed. ,,I´m sick of that whole ´Cute Thing´. I´m always just the nice guy everybody wants to cuddle. But people never see me as a man! The first word that comes to their mind it´s always ´cute´! It !” His face looked annoyed but at the same time depressed when you looked at him.

,,So…you don´t feel manly enough, did I get that correctly?”, you asked.

He sighed again. ,,Aish…ne, I think that´s it…”

You would have liked to giggle but you didn´t want him to feel like you´re making fun of him. Actually the thing was you didn´t think that he was like that at all. For you he has always been…a man. Admittedly with a very cute side but God this guy could be so hot! How can he even doubt himself? Even if he had this cute side indeed, it was something that belonged to him and –to you – it was something that only made him even more handsome.

,,Okay, so that´s it…and I even thought your company want to put an image on you that you don´t even want to have.”

He took a bite angle upward and shook his head depressed.

,,Sungmin? It´s okay if you want to change even though you are perfect just the way you are…”

,,Ani, I´m not perfect…”

,,And you ARE definitely manly enough. And y.” You grinned what made him smirking back.

,,I got no problem with it as long as you stay yourself, okay? And…please don´t forget your smile…”

He looked at you with surprised eyes.

,,Otherwise I don´t know how to get over the day.”, you confessed.  Right there it appeared again, the bright Sungmin-Smile that made his eyes gleam.

,,I missed that.”, you said. He grinned bashfully.

,,You know I didn´t mean what I´ve said just now, right? I´m sorry for that…”

,,Me too…”

,,___-ah? Why don´t you eat anymore?”, he wanted to know eventually with a worried face.

,,I just overdid it with my diet.”, you lied.

,,No, that´s not it. ___-ah, I´m worried. Tell me what´s going on.”, he continued.

You sighed as he waited patiently.

,,Lately I just never feel…kinda good enough. No matter what I do it´s never enough… I feel like I´m disappointing the people who are permanently supporting me. So I tried to lose weight and to work harder…”

,,Who told you that, huh? You don´t need to lose weight! And you got no reason to feel like that!”

You a little tear out of your face.

,,____-ah.” He lifted your chin a bit and looked you in the eyes smiling.

,,You´re beautiful and amazingly talented.”

Touched by his words you opened your mouth. For some reason his words gave you a feeling of confort and strength. You couldn´t even say something.

,,You should try to sleep a little more. I want you to recover quickly, okay?” He put the bed blanket over your body and then took a seat on his bed again.

You turned his direction. As he noticed you watching him he laughed. ,,Don´t worry, I´ll stay here.”, he promised.

,,Ne?” 

He nodded.

Then you hesitantly closed your eyes and fell asleep soon after again.