A/N: Hey all, I know I said that I had to study, butbutbut, this was just circling round and round my head as I was looking through my notes, and I just had to write it out to stop it distracting me.... Oh yeah, you know when I said that angst is imminent, some chapters back, well... HERE IT IS.... This chapter is angsty, angsty, angsty... you have been warned ><

ANGST IS IMMINENT...><

  "Daehyun?" 

  Daehyun's hand shook, and his breath caught. It wasn't his hyung's voice on the phone, it was his right hand man's. Where was hyung? Daehyun felt his heart gripped by fear. Daehyun already had an inkling of what was coming. He had seen it happen so many times at the agency.

  B.A.P stopped eating and talking, and looked at Daehyun. At first, they had been curious about who Daehyun was speaking with. But when the clatter of Daehyun's chopsticks hitting the floor caught their attention, they became concerned for their teammate. Youngjae's eyes didn't move an inch from Daehyun's pale face.

  "Hyung's been in an accident. He's still alive, and we've managed to locate him, and bring him back, but..." the right hand man trailed off.

  Daehyun took a shaky breath. "But..?"

  "Daehyun-ah, I don't think he'll make it." the right hand man's voice was grave, but firm. Daehyun closed his eyes. It was strange. He didn't feel any grief. He guessed that part would come later. He could barely understand what the man was telling him as images of funerals of past agents who'd died at work flashed through his mind. Daehyun had known that working at the agency was a dangerous job, and that hyung's assignment this time was a high-tension, risky one, but Daehyun had never once thought that his hyung would--that his hyung could...

  Daehyun opened his eyes, to meet the worried eyes of his teammates. After a moment's struggle, Daehyun realised that he couldn't burden them with the news, with the heartbreak.

  "Yongguk, if manager hyung comes back tonight, tell him that I'll probably be very late back." Daehyun closed his eyes briefly again, this time to hide from Youngjae's comforting, warm gaze. Daehyun didn't want to hide anything from them, especially Youngjae, but Daehyun wouldn't tell them about his hyung. Daehyun realised once again, that the agency was his real life, and that he'd been mixing these two lives together--Daehyun's real life, and the false one, being part of B.A.P. Daehyun was dragged back to reality.

  He stood up, brushed some grains of rice off his jeans, that had fallen there when his chopsticks dropped, and walked out of the dorm, closing the door behind him gently.

  Back inside the dorm, Youngjae just knew Daehyun was going to see his hyung again, like the last time, when Daehyun had come back singing praises about his hyung and people he knew from before he joined B.A.P. It had been that day when Youngjae had lost sight of Daehyun, and thought he was never coming back again. This time however, Youngjae roughly knew which direction Daehyun was headed, and had more faith in Daehyun.

  Seoul could get rather chilly at night, so Youngjae tucked the sweater Daehyun had been too disturbed to wear, under his arm. Then, Youngjae left the dorm too, and followed behind Daehyun feeling slightly, Youngjae had to admit, like a stalker.

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  Daehyun's mind was still in a whirl--he had yet to get his thoughts under control. Daehyun's mind had kept going back to when Daehyun had first met his Hyung, and loved him immeadiately, kept going back to the days when his hyung would turn down fantastic missions just to take care of him when he had a fever. Daehyun's heart clenched. His hyung couldn't die. Daehyun still had so much to say to him: how much Daehyun loved being around him, how much Daehyun loved him for choosing to adopt him, how much Daehyun loved him for making him do this job. Daehyun hadn't even introduced his friends from B.A.P to his hyung...

  Daehyun's breathing became ragged, as he held in the tears that had finally arrived.

  Just a few steps back, Youngjae felt his heart tug, when he saw how defeated Daehyun looked from behind. Youngjae wanted to go up to him, give him a bear hug, demand for him to admit what was wrong, and squeeze the answers out of the boy. But Youngjae didn't, because he knew that Daehyun wanted to be alone for the moment, and Youngjae wanted to respect that, for now.

  Daehyun managed to find his way to the agency's doorstep, and through his film of tears, Daehyun could see the agents gathered inside. He blinked his tears away. Daehyun wouldn't let anyone in the agency see him cry. He let out a long breath he didn't know he had been holding, and stepped inside--a simple action that he'd done so many thousands of times in his life, but seemed so hard to do now.

  Daehyun didn' notice someone else enter behind him.

  Youngjae looked around. Daehyun's hyung was a spy? Youngjae found that too cool to be true. Images of James Bond flashed through his mind. Youngjae tried to imagine what Daehyun's hyung would look like, but stopped when he saw the distraught looks on the faces of people around him. What had happened? Youngjae tiptoed to see what the people were crowding around. His eyes widened.

  Daehyun stared into the room they used as their hospital, for agents to be treated by their agency's own professional doctors, because they couldn't afford people knowing how their wounds had come about, at a real hospital. Daehyun could see someone wrapped in white sheets, lying down motionlessly on the bed. Images of Daehyun's hyung flashed through his mind again, playing ball with him in his spare time, looking so cool when they occasionally got to do joint missions. This wasn't right. That helpless person lying there couldn't be his hyung. 

  "Hyung..." Daehyun felt his tears well up again. He felt like throwing up, or running away, as fast as he could, to somewhere as far as he legs would take him. He felt like running away--from reality. Daehyun turned, and stumbled into someone behind him, as he tried to push his way out.

  Youngjae had heard what Daehyun called the injured, unconscious man. He knew what was going on now. Youngjae's chest felt like it was on fire, and he stepped close to the boy, to hold him close, because Youngjae could almost guarantee Daehyun was falling apart at the moment, as he stared at his hyung. When Daehyun turned around blindly, Youngjae caught him in his arms, and rocked him back and fourth.

  Daehyun didn't have the energy to be surprised when the person he'd walked into had taken him in his arms. Daehyun breathed in, and recognised Youngjae's scent. Only then did he look up, to see if it really was the boy.

  Daehyun's body melted into Youngjae's embrace, and he buried his face in Youngjae's shoulder, to shield him from the view of the agents, to shield him from harsh reality. Being held by Youngjae now felt even better than running away from it all, so Daehyun didn't try anymore, and instead, let his tears flow, and pattern Youngjae's shirt.   

  There were so many things that Daehyun knew: that his hyung was only human and was fragile enough to die too; that Youngjae shouldn't be here because then he'd find out and hate Daehyun; that he couldn't escape from real life for much longer.

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   After ten minutes of hugging Daehyun and letting him cry all he wanted, Youngjae felt Daehyun's chest heave less, and his sobs subside a little. Daehyun lifted his head from Youngjae's embrace, and wiped away the tear stains with the palm of his hand.

  Daehyun calmed down, and leaned his head on Youngjae's shoulder to find his strength again. Then, he walked back to the group of people who had hopefully not seen his previous pathetic actions.

  Daehyun looked at his hyung properly for the first time since he'd rushed to the agency. He could see the ugly gash on the side of his hyung's head, where the gang members had hurt him, and winced, knowing that the rest of his hyung's body beneath the covers would be similarly marred. He looked to the doctor for an update on his hyung's condition.

  His stomach sank when he saw the doctor's expression.

  "Braindead. His backbone's been fractured, so he's paralysed from neck down. There's nothing much we can do, sorry Daehyun-ah." The doctor's voice was quiet. The right hand man placed a calming hand on Daehyun's shoulder, face lined with sorrow.

  "We've decided to take him off the life line in a while." The right hand man's words were heavy, and hit Daehyun right in the chest.

  "...What? No! I'll...take care of him...You can't just let him die like that..." Daehyun's voice shook, but he had promised himself that he wouldn't cry again.

  "Hyung wouldn't want that--to be useless and disabled." Daehyun heard the right hand man'd words and shook his head, mouth moving, but no words coming out. Because he knew the right hand man was right. His hyung would absolutely hate it.

  "Daehyun ah, hyung left you a voicemail on your phone after he called here for the last time." The right hand man said, before the rest of the agents cleared the room so that Daehyun could have some last moments with his hyung alone.

  Daehyun went to his hyung's side, and took one of his hands, playing with the familiar fingers. He had so much to say, and this was his last chance to say them, but the words wouldn't form themselves in his throat. So, Daehyun just cleared his throat awkwardly, and looked at his hyung, before taking out his phone to listen to the voicemail.

  Before he could hit the button however, Youngjae burst into the room, and took Daehyun's hand. They both looked at the man on the bed as Daehyun raised his phone to his ear, to hear his hyung's last words.

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Aigooo!! Sorry if that was too angsty...It gets better the next chapter, I promise...><