He first avoided Jongin at the hints of attraction, warning himself not to be fooled by physical characteristics, that once was more than enough. However Jongin, although not yet adult, had in him the determination Sehun hadn't. He was clear in what he wanted and even more what he didn't want. He would approach bold and blunt and retreat with a shy smile, eyes no less willful. Each time Luhan looked at them he knew he was fighting a losing battle. With Jongin everything was clear, and their fall was also all the more painful because of it. It gnawed when the transition started, from soft kisses to stiff touching of mouths and loving gazes steadily dimming but Luhan endured; hoping with time Jongin would come back and he could once again wallow in the feeling of beloved. And he did, the Jongin he fell in love with, just not to him. Luhan was twenty two when he gave up because there must be something very wrong with him, to always be left behind for something else.

Yixing was a friend. He had smiled at Luhan on the first day of their work, chirping let's do our best in a pitch of voice rather unexpected. With Yixing many things were unexpected; how he morphed into a walking joke box when the quiet reserved layer peeled of, or that he played many types of instruments and composed his own songs, but most of all Luhan didn't expect Yixing to treat him the way he did. It was a month into knowing each other when Yixing started carrying around ointment in his bag, always ready to rub the liquid onto new sore spot on Luhan's skin. The day marking a whole week without you knocking into things will be the day I buy lottery.Luhan couldn't recall exactly when it began but every morning there would be a can of red tea already opened on his table. Maybe since Yixing noticed how he never failed to get it each time they had their meal. (Why was it always opened, he asked, and Yixing's answer was so he wouldn't cut himself.)

"I'm not a kid," Luhan murmurs when Yixing pulls the blanket up to his chin, cold compress sticking on his forehead.

Yixing snickers at his face, purposely messing up Luhan's hair the way he hates it "Sometimes I forget."

He had directly gone to Luhan's apartment after work to force medicines down his throat and cook him dinner.

"You don't have to do this you know."

"Isn't this what friends are for?"

Luhan can hear the smile in his voice, and he wishes Yixing would stop being so nice if that's all they are going to be. 

"I don't want to be your friend," he whispers. Yixing drops the bag he was about to pick up and turns towards Luhan - his steps slow and his face questioning.

"I don't want us to be friends."

It might be the fever messing up with his sentiment; Luhan grabs Yixing's hand with the courage he never gathered around Minseok, and speaks with honesty that disappeared when Kris (and Jongin and Sehun) went away, "Stay with me."

Yixing is supposed to be only a friend. Luhan isn't supposed to kiss him, inhale the scent off his shoulder and hold his hand, and sigh when their fingers intertwine. But nothing ever felt as wonderful when he does all that. Yixing's free hand is buried still in his hair as he chuckles into Luhan's cheek. 

"Sleep," he does a final of the blonde locks and stands back up. "I'll stay here tonight."

And for the first time in years Luhan thinks it's okay, is content to fall in love too easily.

and wooot it's finished! happy ending for luhan :D. thank you for those who commented and subscribed, i hope you've enjoyed reading :)