Chapter 21
Don't Look BackChangsun stared at his reflection in the mirror and suddenly felt the urge to vomit. The bathroom was pitch dark with only the moonlight seeping in through the window, glowing on him like a spotlight. He’d woken up in the middle of the night and for sevearal minutes found himself staring down at Cheolyong while he best friend slept peacefully. That’s when his stomach had first started clenching and he’d rushed to the bathroom to splash his face with cool water.
What’s wrong with me?
Being so close to Cheolyong made him feel so weird inside and he didn’t know how to explain it. His heart would speed up just the slightest bit, causing his breath to catch in his throat and almost making him forget to even breathe. His hands would get sweaty and clammy and sometimes he just wanted to reach over and caress Cheolyong’s cheek or run his hand through the boy’s messy hair. And then he would just want to inch a little bit closer so their arms would bump together when they moved, shooting an electrifying shiver through his body and sending him through a hurricane of sensational feels that made him want more. Always more, so much more.
That’s okay, isn’t it?
No, it’s repulsive and you know it.
Changsun groaned and sunk to the floor, curling up in a ball against the sink. He wanted to go back to bed and sleep, but he couldn’t. The idea of lying on the mattress while Cheolyong was right next to him sent him on a rollercoaster of emotion. They would sleep together and sometime during the night one of them would roll over and cuddle against the other. Maybe he would even do it purposely, to lay his head against Cheolyong’s chest and listen to his heartbeat lull him to sleep. He’d done it before, several times more than he cared to admit. He’d even kissed Cheolyong too, not a full on kiss, but close to that.
There is something seriously deranged about you, Lee Changsun.
He’d never lied to himself; he just didn’t see the truth that lay right in front of him. Suddenly it all made sense to him, the pieces finally fit together. Of course. Of course.
Comments