They say that you should share what you have with others as a sign of generosity. You grew up in a tiny little household, caring for three younger siblings. Where were the parents? You could say they existed just among you. Your mother had contracted dementia at a very young age and soon enough, she had begun to forget what you looked like. It was heartbreaking to see her slowly fall to bits why the little ones lived in denial. Your father on the other hand... He was a complete bastard. Once he found out your mother was sick and slowly dying, he abandoned everything in the house. You, your two brothers and sister, and your mother were left behind as he ran off with a load of money. That day he left a note saying he was tired and didn’t want to take care of someone so useless.

Useless.

That’s what he referred to your mother. Useless.

The moment you read that one word, you threw the note into the stove and watched it burn. You watched the flames conquer and engulf the small sheet of paper as it crumbled and died. The last bit of love for your father died along with the incineration of the paper. From that day forward, you vowed to never leave the side of those you loved and held dear. They needed you and you knew that you needed them, but in return, it meant sacrifice. Sacrifice your youth as a teenager to take on the responsibility of what you knew was right.

You were only thirteen then.

Three Years Later

You trudged down the road to your apartment building with groceries and toiletries in you arms. If you were to describe yourself, you looked like a homeless that was lugging her “house” to a new location. You stood out in the crowd of people. What emphasized your presence more was the fact that you were young, only sixteen and yet, you were carrying what seemed like a whole life on your shoulders. This was what you knew was coming when you took the step forward to become an adult at an adolescent age.

You stepped out of the elevator door and made your way down the apartment balcony. Room 905. I was the last room on the floor of the five and it was one heck of a trek up to it everyday. You punched in the numbers to the security code and pushed open the door with your shoulders.

“Guys, I’m home! Saena? Hongjae? Yoonjae?” You called, slipping off your tennis shoes and changing into your slippers.

The three most precious children in the world came bounding over to you and each grabbed onto whatever space they could find on your leg. They screamed with delight, chanting your name over and over again. It brought such happiness to you, knowing that they were happy and healthy.

“Noona! Noona! Guess what I did in school today?” Hongjae asked, tugging at your pants. You bent down to him and gave him a tight hug as he tried to show you the figurine he had made from paper. “It’s a bird! See! We made paper birds in class today! Teacher said mine was the best!”

“No, you’re wrong! Teacher said mine was! Hongjae, you liar!” Youngjae pouted as he tried pushing away Hongjae to get into your arms, holding his paper crane up. Hongjae protested and gave Youngjae a light shove while blowing a raspberry. They began to bicker as Saena watched in the background.

“Now, now you two. No fighting when noona is here, okay? They both look beautiful to me. You two are the best at making paper birds! Noona says you are!” You praised them with a smile, and their faces lit up. Immediately, giggling widely, they ran off into their bedrooms to have whatever fun they wanted at their young ages. Twins.

You turned over to look at Saena. Saena was completely different. From her first birthday, she had shown signs of social disorder towards everyone, but me. She was quiet and easily had panic attacks when those around her got excited. It didn’t filter out people. It meant that everyone could trigger a panic attack and send her into a frenzy. The look in her eyes looked as if though she would break down. Hongjae and Youngjae had gotten too happy that it scared her. You stepped over to her and placed my arms around her, only to feel her tiny frame shivering. Sighing, you began patting and rubbing her back, singing the lullaby that always calmed her down.

“It’s alright, Mommy is here,” You said bitterly, swallowing the large lump in my throat. That was the one thing next to him that really bothered and stung you.

Saena grew up knowing or being told that you was her mother. Just after Saena was born, three months after her birth in the early winter, your mother began to show signs of memory loss and confusion. By the time Saena had taken her first step, your mother could no longer function properly. As a result, she could not take care of Saena as she had with the other two. You stepped in to fulfill the role of a mother. Saena was never told that you were her older sister. She always thought you were biological mother. She was lied to.

“M-Mommy... I’m scared,” she hiccuped, breathing into your shoulder. You bit down on your lip to controll your emotions. The thought of her not able to run to your mother stabbed your heart. “Hongjae and Youngjae... They were fighting...”

“Shh... It’s okay. They’re not fighting now. They’re very calm. Mom, will prepare dinner for you and the twins okay?” You gave her a squeeze before releasing the hug and picking up the bags to put them in the kitchen. It hurt emotionally... so much. Saena’s tiny footsteps could be heard from behind you. The soft pitter-patter was endearing. She was only three and a half years old. The twins were now five. You could hear the two boys in their room squabbling and then immediately laughing again.

Saena tugged at the hem of your knee length skirt, wanting your attention. When you looked down, she still had a glint of fear in her eyes. You sighed and smiled at her.

“Does Saena want her favorite egg souffle tonight?” You asked her, hoping to cheer her up. It was her favorite dish. Her eyes brightened right away and the dark fearful clouds in them disappeared. She nodded and flashed you her gap-filled smile. In return, you began setting aside the ingredients and putting together dished.

“Saena, why don’t you go play with Byul in your room? I bet your precious doll feels lonely right now!” You piped, trying to distract her. You didn’t want her in the kitchen since it was dangerous for any child like her. She smiled again and dashed off to play with Byul, the giant teddy bear.

Sighing, you went back to your cooking and set dinner up. By the time they had finished eating, it was late and all of them were tired, especially the twins. They were exhausted from roughhousing and arguing. Saena was just tired. She was always tired and it worried you deeply.

 

- - -

That night, you were busy at your desk checking up on sales you had made and the revenue of the day. That’s what you did. You had given up your youth. You dropped out of school at the age of thirteen and began working jobs here and there to make money, walking everywhere to conserve your expenses. It was a job that took all the energy out of you, but you chose to spend your time and energy raising the kids without any harm in their life.

The calculator buttons clicked as you went to calculate your earnings and monthly income. Would it suffice? The rent? The water and electricity bill?

You sighed. It didn’t.

You were still short about three hundred dollars, and it was taking all your energy just to do the five jobs and housekeeping you were doing now. You put your hands to your face and sighed deeply. Ever since your father left and your mother grew sick, your physical and emotional state began to change. But even through the torture and pain, you couldn’t allow the little one’s to know that you were suffering.

Boring chapter, I know.... I promise you it will pick up. This was just the basic overview of the characters life. :3

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