part two;

The world seemed to hold its very breath, as if intently waiting for the sky, waiting for the entirety of the universe to reveal itself. The silence was deafening, speaking, shouting, incomprehensible phrases in the frozen air.

Jongin's dark, coffee eyes reflected the vicious, beautiful sight of the heavens, orbs of twinkling stars blinking in his irises. He turned away reluctantly to look at Baekhyun's reaction. His thin lips were pressed together tightly, his eyes spilling with wonderment, curiosity, and relief. As if the stars were his escape.

“Was it everything you thought it would be?” Jongin asked, cracking the quietness.

Baekhyun merely nodded, a soft bob of his head his head. Jongin read many amounts of emotions in the gentle nod. Then he added quietly, “A lot more.”

He lifted a slim, tendril-like finger, as if reaching, scraping, touching, what never could be his. His index finger lingered in the air. As if realizing his mistake, he slowly let his hand drop in disappointment.

Jongin noted it, eying him with empathy. Even with the entirety of the universe above him, he felt even more encaged, wings wrapped tight around his back, unable to fly. With such a spectacular sight before him, there was no need to appreciate it because it would never belong to him. How did animals feel? Caged, hidden, unknowing of anything?

The room suddenly began to quake, sounding with violent beeping with flashes of vicious hues of red. Jongin looked around in alarm, panicking. If the air was to be out of the ship now, he would be content for Baekhyun was next to him and the sky above him.

The ceiling began to close, groaning with the sounds of ache and regret. With a few shudders, the entire view of the sky was gone, hidden behind an unforgiving metal cage. A crush of emotions enveloped Jongin and he breathed heavily.

Baekhyun laughed, a sharp, comedic throaty chuckle that startled Jongin. He turned to look at Baekhyun, whose almond-shaped eyes were closed in delight, pearly white teeth flashing in the dim light. Jongin asked cautiously, “Do you want to see it again?”

Baekhyun turned to him and grinned. The expressions that were so raw surprised Jongin. There was nothing Baekhyun’s sparkling eyes couldn’t reveal. “That is a stupid question to ask,” he said, pressing his lips together in a tight line. As if holding it in. Holding the universe within him, reflecting the galaxies in his bright pupils.


Jongin quickly scanned his hand on the lock, opening his translucent glass doors into his home. It was quite neat, empty of many personal belongings. Meticulous was the perfect way to describe it. Where memories captured on photos were supposed to hang on the walls were massive blueprints drawn of EXO, updated accordingly to every feature. Where there was supposed to be love was empty of it. There was one picture. Jongin remembered. There was one picture of Kyungsoo tucked inside his drawer, hidden away from sight but consciously kept in his mind.

“This is where you live?” Baekhyun asked, hesitantly stepping inside the premises. His slim face showed curiosity, monolid eyes emphasized with a thin line of black. He touched a large poster hung on the wall, capturing the finest beauties of EXOPlanet. It was a glittering blend of constant colors, mixed in pools of red, green, blue, purple, brown, white. Jongin watched him, as he trailed his tendril-like fingers across the smooth paper.

“What? It wasn’t what you perceived it to be?” Jongin asked, sitting on his bed, leaning back on the white, plush pillows. He knew that his apartment was most likely more decorated and cozy than Baekhyun’s. He had truthfully never seen a middle-class living quarter before. All he knew was that they were sparse in comparison to his.

“No. It suits you perfectly.” Baekhyun sat down on a black ottoman, gazing at Jongin intently. “May I have a sheet of paper and a pencil?”

Jongin was surprised at his request but nodded before telling him the materials were in his drawer.

★

Baekhyun rummaged through the plain furniture piece. It wasn’t long before he discovered a small picture of a man, placed neatly at the bottom. Dressed in a loose sky-blue flannel material, he had boyish handsome features. His hair was cropped nicely, a simple black that suited his features well. Ovular face, large childish eyes, he seemed perfectly at ease. His plump lips were pulled into a pondering smile. He gently turned the glossy photo around and a note was written on the back.

Do Kyungsoo. Year 2352.
When expected the least, you entered my life … when wanted the most, you left from it.

Baekhyun set it down, blinking his eyes in confusion then comprehension. Do Kyungsoo. He had only seen the man occasionally, breezing by on the street, walking quickly in various locations. Hand-in-hand with a female. Jongin had loved Kyungsoo. A blinding, dangerous, unneeded love that was shunned. A towering, glowing, love that Jongin had, crashing down like millions of shattered pieces of glass, into the depths of darkness. Emptied of the soul, hidden from the sun, igniting still in the blackness that Kyungsoo had abandoned Jongin to.

Baekhyun grabbed a blank piece of paper and black pencil, sitting on the seat before glancing at Jongin. His instrument glided swiftly across the emptiness, guiding lines into the perfect contours and planes of Jongin’s sleeping figure. He sketched the being of Jongin on the lifeless white sheet. Shut eyes, long black eyelashes, round lips, sharp jawline, tousled thick black hair. When he finished, he scrawled on the back:

Kim Jongin. Year 2355.
Powerless in love, tyranny in heartbreak.

He wasn’t sure what it meant, staring at the six simple words that quickly shoved into his mind when thinking of Jongin. Was it all about Jongin? Was it in part about his parents? His parents who abandoned him, leaving him in the harsh metal caged EXO? Kneeling, bowing, giving into the feeling of love but wanting, needing, thirsting of it when left empty? Did every person, with a beating glowing heart, need love? Want love? Desire love? What was love? Did it vibrate and thrum within him, like the constant beat of butterfly wings? Did it stream from an unknown source, drowning him in intensity? Did it beat like the sun, showering him with constant and unrelenting warmth?

He left the drawing on the desk and watched Jongin sleep before leaving.


Baekhyun entered the library, slowly lingering on the various volumes, feeling the raising bumps, slick spines, indented titles. Wonderment was found in books, novels, smooth pages, printed words. He continued on his path, touching the shelves when a small snippet of paper drifted down onto the floor.

“The real voyage of discovery consists not in seeking new landscapes but in having new eyes.” —Marcel Proust

It was written in a neat handwriting, the scrawls of the l’s like gentle loops and the round of the b’s like a welcoming greeting. Baekhyun whispered the quote to himself. Feeling the words envelope around him, he felt the extent of the sentence between the quotation marks. Discovery. Discovery of what? Of stars? His entire being felt robbed of air when he finally felt the universe before him. Of life? Was there a definition of life? … Of love? Where was it then? When he yearned it now?

He folded the slip and tucked it in his pocket before sitting down on his desk. No one would enter the oasis of the library because of the work needed to be done. It was just simply built to familiarize the citizens of EXO to the surroundings of Earth. He his hoverscreen, watched as if powered in mere seconds before his hands lingered on the transparent keyboard. He reached forward before typing: Do Kyungsoo.

A small profile of Kyungsoo quickly established itself on the screen. An identification picture was similar to the photo he found in Jongin’s drawers. Same smile, longer hair, same wide immaculate eyes. He was twenty, a year younger than Baekhyun was. An agricultural worker who lived in the middle-class. He looked into the honest, pristine iries that belonged to Kyungsoo and found not black, but white. White. Like doves, flapping their pure wings endlessly through the sky, flying into the righteous air. He didn’t see the blackness that Jongin coveted, the unexplainable eclipses.

He saw it within his own eyes too.

Baekhyun erased Kyungsoo’s name from the search bar before pressing K-i-m J-o-n-g-i-n. A more extensive biography answered. He was also twenty, rich, and topping in a high position on EXO compared to Baekhyun or Kyungsoo. He was the official cartographer and the second-in-command for engineering aboard EXO.

Baekhyun turned off the hoverscreen before pulling out his thick black sketchbook, flipping through the thin pages to stare at the lines. The first page was a portrait of his parents, the way he recalled them to be. His beautiful mother. Large, round, happy eyes with wrinkles surrounding them. An abundance of black lashes. Wavy locks of black, tied back in a ponytail. His mother was always his pillar of strength, a believer in a constant waves of followers.  By her side was his smiling father. He unconsciously reached an index finger out to touch his cheek, before jerking back when he felt the flat, sterile surface.

The glass doors to the library brushed open and Jongin walked in, rubbing his eyes. Baekhyun quickly shut his sketchbook, pressing the pages together into a blur of one.

“Why did you leave so quick?” Jongin asked, sitting down beside him. If he saw the way Baekhyun clutched his sketchbook, he didn’t reveal it.

“I didn’t want to bother you. You were sleeping.”

“Thanks for the portrait anyways,” Jongin remarked, smiling honestly.

Baekhyun nodded, wondering if he bothered to flip the sketch around, to read the words that Baekhyun wrote truthfully. “You’re a nice person to draw.” He turned to face Jongin, looking into the eyes that reflected his own. A harsh reality of black.

Before he could comprehend, Jongin leaned closer. Their lips gently touched, melting within each other like soft honey and drizzled chocolate, full of butterflies. But it exchanged tides of emotions, haunting pain and aches, thousands of words in a small action. It softly drained the sadness of Baekhyun because it felt as if Jongin took it away, piling it within him so Baekhyun didn’t have to dread it anymore. It was a burst of suns, like the birth of stars, an explosion of understanding and strength. Power. Baekhyun felt rushed of power then emptied of it, roaring in his ears. Baekhyun was powerless. It was a harmony, tides of balance and peace and serene. It was the immortal sounds of an orchestra, building within him then releasing into the ocean of silence.

Jongin let go, and still Baekhyun felt indeed powerless.

“I just wanted to know how it felt again,” Jongin said in a breath.

Baekhyun pressed two fingers to his lips, questioning it, feeling confused. He didn’t dare to meet Jongin’s eyes, hand still on his mouth, trying to figure out what happened.

“I’m sorry.”

Baekhyun faced him abruptly. “Why are you sorry?” he murmured, running his hand through his hair. Jongin never looked more aristocratic, godlike, with mussed, wavy black locks; the walnut-color sheen of his hair in the light; the effortless smile; the bright black orbs of light in his eyes; the strength in his prominent cheekbones. He had truly never met or laid his eyes on anyone like Kim Jongin.

★

Jongin arrived home through the air tube, still trying to comprehend the boldness that overtook him into finally kissing Baekhyun. But nevertheless, he didn’t regret it. The moment felt so right, so authentic, so genuine. But he couldn’t shake the feeling that he didn’t know Baekhyun at all. He knew Kyungsoo before he finally kissed him. He knew that he liked to cook and blend new recipes, sing with a vocal prowess that graced Jongin into a different world, watching childish TV shows. Jongin didn’t have time to watch TV anymore.

He sat down on his desk and proceeded to turn on his hoverscreen. Unlimited access was an advantage to being a highly-ranked official. With skilled hands, he typed in Byun Baekhyun. It was a long description, from his birthplace, to current residence, to his adolescent years.

It also mentioned the unspoken death of Baekhyun’s parents.

Jongin read his simple biography which was unaccessed to the public.

Mr. Byun’s career served as an artist. (NOTE: Unwanted and unneeded occupation.) Has one child: Byun Baekhyun. Is husband of Mrs. Byun, who served as an agricultural farmer. (NOTE: Both were discovered to have known the confidential Anti-Delirium Operation. Both were sympathizers of the Delirium Support group against EXO’s leaders, causing disruption. As of now, Mr. Byun’s, and his wife’s current status is successful termination. The Delirium Support group’s members have been 90% terminated from society.)

Jongin couldn’t breathe. He finally typed in with shaky hands: Anti-Delirium Operation

The Anti-Delirium Operation is the unknown plant of drug into the citizens aboard EXO that sedates the mind, therefore resulting in a harmonious society by the leaders of EXO. The Anti-Delirium drug is delivered through EXO’s universal water system, which supplies sufficient amounts of water to certain citizens of EXO. Those excluded include the top caste officials, scientists, engineers and various second caste officials. Although it is unproven, several individuals with an unagreeable mind have managed to avoid the Anti-Delirium drug. Those individuals include: Byun Baekhyun, Do Kyungsoo and Kim Junmyeon. Park Chanyeol was also a previous individual with the above listed symptoms but has been successfully terminated with the overdose of drugs, leading to disease. Reason for termination included his affiliation with the Delirium Support group. Others are still in the process of being discovered. The founder of the Anti-Delirium Operation is credited to Lee Sooman, the fifth leader of EXO who is now retired from all duties. The first Anti-Delirium drug was mass injected in the year 2300. The drug has since then been effective in removing delirium from EXO society.

The hoverscreen in his hand dropped to the floor with a snap, echoing throughout his apartment. The blackness swarmed around him, greedily pulling, viciously pouring, hungrily taking. It called to him, whispering, wanting, needing. He felt claustrophobic, choking, unable to push, strangle, punch the monsters away. Powerless. He blinked and rubbed his face then hurriedly entered the bathroom, throwing water on his face. The roar around his ears vanished, leaving absolute silence. As if there was nothing at all.

When he finally calmed himself down, he questioned the truth of EXO. He had never been informed of the Anti-Delirium Operation, the rid of deliria, feeling, emotions, through the single drug infecting waters, like a plume of a silent ghost ripping through purity. He had never felt the need to interact with society. They were emotionless anyways. And it finally was clear to him why. Because he had the position to feel while they were deprived of sadness, happiness, rage, love.

Baekhyun didn’t know.

And Jongin knew he needed to tell him.

He sat on his desk contemplating. Jongin smiled at the portrait, a rough sketch that looked identical to his own features. Lines, planes, shapes. They all formed his face, his sleeping figure, his long legs. Jongin turned the sheet around.

Kim Jongin. Year 2355.
Powerless in love, tyranny in heartbreak.

Powerless. He had felt powerless toward Kyungsoo, the pull of his demeanor, the kind smile in his eyes. Do Kyungsoo. Jongin had loved him. And in turn, Kyungsoo had abandoned him, forsaken him, left him empty.

Jongin was powerless to Byun Baekhyun now.

His cocky smirk, his artistic fingers, his dark-rimmed eyes, his thin-lipped smile, his belief and need. Jongin knew that he loved Baekhyun. And there was no going back when he decided to travel down the road, the uncertainty. The surprising bumps that could trip him, the cold that would bite, the heat that would strike viciously, the sadness, the darkness, the happiness would come inevitably. But his destination would be a one where Baekhyun was. Where love was.

Jongin pushed his seat away from the desk, rushing to the door, zipping through the tube of air and into the unstable shelter of Byun Baekhyun.

★

Baekhyun didn’t understand how he felt towards the snarky Jongin. He knew that he certainly liked him. There was no doubting the intensity and attraction between them. But what did it all mean? Did he ever have an appeal to the opposite gender? He could say that he never did. But it was undeniable what he felt for Jongin. It was he who swore him an empty promise, but managed to fulfill it anyway, igniting his life in light. The desire was extinguished, in its place content. If he were to die now, it would be rational because he had finally seen the sky.

His whitewashed door was suddenly being knocked upon and he opened it, to find Jongin standing before him, breathless. “I-I’ve discovered something,” Jongin said, stuttering. Baekhyun never heard Jongin stumble on his words. He was always so confident and sure. The sudden unstableness alarmed him.

“What? What happened Jongin?”

The world fell into quiet.

“T-that your parents were murdered.”

Baekhyun dropped the glass of water he was holding, the liquid seeping around him, puddling. Although it was shallow, he felt so low that he could drown. It was a roar of darkness, of blackness. It haunted him before Jongin and it beckoned to him now. The depths of death, of hell, of rage, pulled at him, whispering in his ears. He wanted to let go, to drop, to scream. It tapped in his mind, knocked on his soul, pounded on his heart. He felt his eyes wet. Why were they wet?

“And I know this isn’t a good time. But I know that I love you.”