When Baekhyun woke up, the first thing he saw was Chanyeol. Waking up to find someone staring at you was a little disturbing, he decided, though somehow he didn’t mind as much because it was Chanyeol. It took a moment for him to recall what had happened, and why he was waking up in a bed that was not his own. He could vaguely remember Chanyeol trying to get him onto his back, but after that everything was blank. He could put together the pieces on how he got here, though he still wasn’t sure exactly why he had passed out in the first place.

“Baekhyun, you’re awake!” Chanyeol said, seeming far more excited over that than Baekhyun thought he should be. “I was so worried.”

“…worried?” Baekhyun asked, voice quiet and a little scratchy. He still felt quite groggy, and very thirsty.

“Well, yeah,” Chanyeol replied, like it was the most obvious thing in the world. “Should I not be worried when you randomly collapse on me in the middle of investigation? You’ve been out for hours, you know.”

“I… hours? What time is it?” Baekhyun was a bit surprised to hear that; he thought he had just out for a few minutes. Had Chanyeol been sitting here the whole time?

“Uh… around 4:30 I think? Yeah, 4:31,” Chanyeol confirmed, glancing at the clock on the nightstand on the other side of Baekhyun’s bed to make sure.

“Chanyeol, it was like… 11:15 when we went into the bar,” Baekhyun said, frowning.

“And?” Chanyeol blinked, not sure why that mattered.

“Why aren’t you sleeping? You didn’t actually sit here and watch me for five hours, did you?” Baekhyun asked, though he was pretty sure he already knew the answer.

“Of course I did, I was worried!” Chanyeol exclaimed. Did Baekhyun really expect him not to be worried?

“Okay, I get it. I just don’t really think sitting here watching me is worth you losing sleep over.” Baekhyun thought maybe he should be a little creeped out at the idea of someone watching him sleep for five hours, but really he was more concerned with why Chanyeol would bother.

“Baekhyun…” Chanyeol said softly, tone more serious. “How could you expect me to sleep when I don’t know that you’re okay?”

“I just… didn’t think… I don’t know!” Baekhyun stammered, looking away and blushing slightly at the genuine concern in Chanyeol’s voice. For some reason, he really hadn’t expected the taller man to care so much, not like this. Of course it wasn’t strange for a friend to worry over another, but this felt different. His other friends hadn’t sat around his bed watching him for five hours instead of sleeping. He didn’t quite know how to feel about it, but… it was kind of nice. “I just don’t understand, I guess. Why do you care so much?”

“I’m your friend, Baekhyun, of course I care. I would be a pretty terrible one if I didn’t,” Chanyeol replied, wondering why Baekhyun was so surprised by all of this. He knew he probably cared a lot more than he should, but was he being that obvious about it?

“You would, but something is telling me there’s more to it than that,” Baekhyun said, cheeks turning redder when a thought occurred to him. This… this is how he would be if it were Tao lying in the bed. But there was no way Chanyeol… he couldn’t… right?

“Well… maybe there is.” Chanyeol had to fight down his own blush, fiddling around with his hands nervously. He hadn’t planned to tell Baekhyun this so soon after he figured it out himself, or ever really, but if the older man was having suspicions anyway there was no point in hiding it. They both knew who Baekhyun’s heart belonged to, so it’s not like this would change anything.

“…what?” Baekhyun’s eyes widened at that. He had not been expecting this, or at least not for Chanyeol to admit it.

“I… I know where I stand, I know that we won’t ever be more than friends, so you don’t have to worry about that,” Chanyeol said, looking at a random spot on the bed rather than at Baekhyun. “I really, really like you though. Possibly more than like. It took me awhile to realize it, but I think really it started the first time I saw you smile, in that girl’s bedroom. I thought to myself, ‘wow, now that is something I want to see again’ and from that day on, I wanted to make you happy. I kind of failed miserably at first, but, well, we’re past that I guess. I was so pleased when you said you wanted to be friends, but I also found out that day how much it hurt to see you cry, or see you in pain. When you collapsed earlier, I was so scared, at first I couldn’t even move. I was scared until the moment you woke up, really. I kept telling myself you were fine, but I couldn’t help worrying that maybe you wouldn’t wake up, that maybe there was something really wrong. I don’t know what I would do if you didn’t wake up, Baekhyun.”

“Chanyeol… I can’t, you know I can’t…” Baekhyun felt a familiar stinging at the corners of his eyes, but he managed to hold back the tears for once. He loved Tao. But because of that, he knew what it felt like to love someone you could never be with, and it killed him to be the one doing that to Chanyeol. Some part of him deep down wanted so badly to tell Chanyeol that it wasn’t entirely hopeless, that maybe one day… but that wasn’t a promise he could make, not now. He wasn’t ready for this, wasn’t ready to move on even though he knew he should, and getting Chanyeol’s hopes up falsely would be worse than just flat out rejecting him.

“I know. I told you, its fine!” Chanyeol smiled widely, trying to cover up the sadness he felt at those words. The last thing he wanted was for Baekhyun to feel guilty.

Baekhyun tried to say something else, but it came out as a cough and he was suddenly reminded of how thirsty he was. Chanyeol didn’t even ask, he simply got up and walked over to the mini fridge that was in the room and pulled out a bottle of water, handing it over wordlessly. Baekhyun took it gratefully, drinking slowly so as to not irritate his throat further. Once he had downed about half the bottle he stopped, setting it down on the nightstand.

“Unless you need anything else, I think you should try to get some more rest,” Chanyeol said once he was finished with the water. Baekhyun wanted to protest, wanted to say anything to make Chanyeol’s smile not look so forced, but he didn’t know how he could do that without lying. He was also still very tired, and sleep sounded very appealing.

“Alright, but you have to sleep this time too,” he said finally.

“If that’s what you want, I will. But wake me up if you need anything at all, okay?” Chanyeol said, getting up out of the chair that he had pulled over to Baekhyun’s bedside. Baekhyun nodded, and soon he was drifting off again. Chanyeol did at least try to keep his word, changing into pajamas and getting into the other bed, but he didn’t sleep. There was just too much running through his head for that. 

When Baekhyun woke up again, it was late morning and the rest of the team had already packed up all the equipment. They left his bag in the room so that he could change and shower if he wanted, but otherwise they were all ready to go. They had wanted to let him sleep for as long as possible before leaving, and though he felt bad for holding them up, he was grateful. He was feeling much better after the extra sleep, and got ready as quickly as possible so that they could get out of there. They tried to argue against him driving again, but he assured them that he was very well rested and would be perfectly fine to drive. Eventually they relented, and soon the six of them were starting the long drive home. Twenty minutes in, Baekhyun was already regretting his decision. With Chanyeol in the passenger seat next to him, all he could think about was what the younger man had told him last night, and it was very distracting. At least in the van he could have tried to sleep more and ignore it.

They arrived at the office a little less than seven hours later (they had stopped to eat again), and once all of the equipment was put away Suho asked everyone to stay. They all sat down around the long table in the middle of the room and waited for him to speak. Baekhyun took the seat on the end, beside Sehun, which took everyone by surprise because he had sat next to Chanyeol at every one of these meetings since that first week. No one commented on it though, or on the put out expression on Chanyeol’s face. There were more important things to discuss than whatever issue those two were having now.

“Alright, so obviously we need to talk about what has been happening,” Suho started, clasping his hands together on top of the table, “As well as how we’re going to proceed from here.”

“What exactly has been happening?” Baekhyun asked, confused. He had the very distinct feeling that he was missing some key information here.

“If we’ve all noticed it, there’s no way that you haven’t,” Kai replied, eyebrow raised.

“Noticed what?” Baekhyun still didn’t understand. He had a feeling this had to do with what happened last night, but to be honest he hadn’t really thought of it much. He had been too busy thinking about something, or rather someone, else.

“Baekhyun, we’ve had four cases in a row of some of the most incredible paranormal activity we’ve ever experienced, and on top of that we’ve caught evidence of it every time. Without cameras dying, without batteries draining, somehow spirits have been gathering energy to manifest and move objects and speak with us,” Kyungsoo explained, a little exasperated when Baekhyun still didn’t seem to get it. “For four cases in a row, all of the activity has been centered on you, and each time you’ve been tired, dizzy, fallen asleep and even passed out. Please tell me you can see the connection we’ve all made.”

“Centered on… oh,” Baekhyun said, dumbfounded. In all honesty, he had been so wrapped up in dealing with Chanyeol and Tao and other things that he really hadn’t noticed. “But… why me? This has never been an issue before, why would they be drawn to me all of the sudden?”

“I don’t know, we were hoping maybe you could give us some insight on that,” Suho said, though he was thinking that was unlikely now. “Has anything changed with you in the past month? Sometimes spirits are just attracted to certain types of people.”

“Nothing that I can think of,” Baekhyun replied, trying not to glance at Chanyeol. The only thing that had changed in his life was Chanyeol, but he didn’t see how that could be relevant. He met Chanyeol after this all started anyway, so it couldn’t be related.

“Well, I’m going to try to do some research on the subject, hopefully I can find out something about why they’re going after you specifically,” Kyungsoo said. He planned to go looking for information as soon as he got home. “For the time being though, I don’t think it’s a good idea for you to keep going on investigations. We can’t just stop completely, if people need help then we can’t say no, but I’m worried about what could happen if we run into something angry or if a spirit tries to take too much from you.”

“What?” Baekhyun gaped at him. “There is no way I’m just going to sit at home twiddling my thumbs while you guys are out investigating!”

“Baekhyun, it’s too dangerous,” Chanyeol spoke for the first time. “We can’t risk anything happening to you. Even if you don’t like it, it’s for the best.”

“Well I don’t want anything happening to you either!” Baekhyun exclaimed, much louder than he had intended. “How do we know that first time wasn’t just a fluke? The only thing that has changed in the past month is Chanyeol joining the team. How do we know they’re not attracted to him, and just using me as a way to make contact?”

“But, the glass –” Chanyeol tried.

“Could have been thrown at anyone in that room, even one of the others if they had been there. The guy was pissed off, that doesn’t mean anything. It was you who played with the boy and got him to interact with us, in case you forgot,” Baekhyun argued. He saw Suho about to protest, and cut him off as well. “Don’t try to tell me we can both sit out then, you can’t do an investigation with four people. We struggled with getting set up done quickly with five people, and it’s much more efficient to have multiple pairs walking around larger locations. You know I’m right; we’re a team, and we need all six members to function properly.”

“Fine,” Suho said finally, after a moment of silent contemplation. “But, you must be careful. You two stick together at all times, stay away from the most active rooms or anywhere that violent activity has been reported, and in the off chance we get a case with a suspected inhuman spirit, you will stay behind.”

“Okay, I can live with that,” Baekhyun nodded. As long as he wasn’t getting totally excluded, he was happy. He understood their worries, and he was glad to have such caring friends, but for that reason he couldn’t just sit around while they tried to figure out what was wrong with him.

With that settled, they all went their separate ways, tired after the long investigation – no one except Baekhyun had really gotten much sleep. They decided to wait and start the evidence review the following day, so that everyone could rest. Kyungsoo dragged Kai home with him to do some research before sleeping, and everyone else went back to their respective apartments to relax, though the discovery they had made with this case weighed on all of their minds. It took a few days to finish reviewing the evidence, and to no one’s surprise they had once again caught some amazing stuff. The mini DV had been turned off before it was moved, but they had clear as day video of it on the DVR, seemingly floating in midair off the table and over to the other one. They also of course had the footage of the glass throwing itself at Baekhyun, in addition to a few EVPs and a clip of the closet door opening on its own in the room where Suho and Sehun slept. They showed all of this to the client over webcam (they had all agreed prior to coming that there was no point in driving six hours just for a short meeting – three hours had been pushing it before), and warned him that there did seem to be an angry spirit in the bar, but that it shouldn’t be too much of a problem as long as no one provoked him.

As the week went on, Kyungsoo continued doing research in between working and case managing. He had decided for now to only take cases that were urgent, like a residence or workplace where people were scared, so he hadn’t lined up anything new for them yet. He did still have to answer all of the calls and emails though, and it could be time consuming. Unfortunately, the time that he did have to spare for research wasn’t turning up much. He had found lots of reasons why a spirit may be attached to one specific person and follow them, but nothing on why several different spirits in different locations might all be drawn to one person. He couldn’t find anything on why they would only drain energy from a certain person either. It wasn’t unheard of for spirits to take energy from people in addition to batteries and things like that, but usually they didn’t discriminate on who to take it from. Certain people were more vulnerable to it, but Kyungsoo doubted that was the case here, because in five years it had never happened until now. If Baekhyun was more vulnerable, something had changed recently to make him more vulnerable, and no matter how much research he did Kyungsoo just couldn’t figure out what it was. It was incredibly frustrating.

Baekhyun had been trying to figure it out as well, but to no avail. He had something else weighing on his mind that was making it far too difficult to concentrate on anything else. He had spent hours upon hours contemplating his feelings, for Tao and for Chanyeol, which confused him because he wasn’t supposed to have any feelings for Chanyeol. He knew that Chanyeol just wanted him to forget about the confession, to just continue being friends as though it had never happened, but that was the problem. Baekhyun couldn’t just pretend that it didn’t happen. He thought at first that it was just out of guilt for rejecting Chanyeol and hurting him, and that eventually he would get over it and everything would be fine. But at that meeting the day after, when he said he was worried for Chanyeol too… the others probably just thought he was using it as an argument to get his way, but that wasn’t the case. He had said it without thinking, truly scared that something could happen to Chanyeol and he wouldn’t be there. He kept thinking back to how Chanyeol had sounded when he said how scared he had been of Baekhyun not waking up, and it surprised him when he realized that he really hadn’t sounded much different. Baekhyun found himself thinking of what it might be like to date someone else, someone who wasn’t Tao, to date Chanyeol, and the idea wasn’t as strange as he thought it would be.

All of that left him very conflicted, however. Even if… even if he did possibly feel something for Chanyeol, that didn’t change the fact that he was in love with Tao. That wasn’t going to go away overnight, and he didn’t know if he was ready or able to really love someone else. Tao had been his best friend for over four years, and he had loved him for almost as long. His feelings had played such a huge role in his life over those years that he didn’t know if he could just leave them behind and move on, not after all of this time. He didn’t know how to let go, and he couldn’t even try being with Chanyeol until he could do that. It wouldn’t be fair of him, and he wouldn’t risk hurting the younger man more than he already had. He needed help.

“Well, this is a surprise,” Suho said, eyebrows raised as Baekhyun walked into the back room of the bookstore. “Usually if I want to see you outside of EXO activities I have to forcibly drag you out of your apartment or more recently, away from Chanyeol. Who is not here by the way, if that’s why you came.”

“It’s not. Actually I guess it is, but I mean… oh, never mind,” Baekhyun said, shaking his head. He sat down in the other chair at the small table in the room. “Look, I need your advice on something. And please no ‘I told you so’s or anything like that, this is serious okay?”

 “Of course,” Suho replied, demeanor instantly changing. It was very rare that Baekhyun would actually ask him for help, without him having to offer first, so it must be important. “What’s going on?”

“Chanyeol confessed to me,” Baekhyun said, sure that Suho wouldn’t be surprised to hear it. “At the hotel, after I passed out. I woke up really early in the morning and he was still awake, watching over me. We got to talking, and he told me he liked me, a lot.”

“I see.” Suho certainly wasn’t surprised, though he hadn’t quite expected Chanyeol to say anything yet. It did explain why they hadn’t sat next to each other at the meeting though. “So let me guess, you rejected him, he’s upset, and you want advice on how to fix your friendship?”

“No, actually our friendship is fine, at least it should be. He told me he knew I didn’t return his feelings and that I shouldn’t worry about it,” Baekhyun replied.

“Then what’s the problem? You feel guilty for rejecting him? You did turn him down, didn’t you?” Suho asked, not exactly sure what Baekhyun wanted his advice on. “As great as I think it would be for you to date someone, I don’t want you leading him on either.”

“Yes I rejected him!” Baekhyun was a little annoyed that Suho would even think he would do that; the whole point of this was so that he wouldn’t hurt Chanyeol.

“Then please explain to me what the issue is, because I don’t see it. Unless…” Suho trailed off, smirking slightly. “You didn’t want to reject him, did you? You’re confused, you don’t know what to feel.”

“Actually, I’m not that confused anymore,” Baekhyun said, smiling a little. “I’ve spent days thinking about nothing but this, I would be an idiot not to realize that I feel something for him.”

“Oh.” Suho deflated a little. He was kind of impressed, apparently he hadn’t given Baekhyun enough credit. From the moment he realized there was potential for something to happen between Baekhyun and Chanyeol, he had been certain that he would have to do a lot of pushing and prodding before Baekhyun actually realized or admitted that there was something there. “Then I’m out of ideas, if you have this all figured out then why do you need my help?”

“No matter what I may feel for anyone else, my feelings for Tao won’t just disappear on their own. I want to give Chanyeol a chance, but I can’t unless I know that I can get over Tao first,” Baekhyun explained. “It’s just like you said, I don’t want to lead him on, make him think that there’s hope for us and then realize later that I can’t do it. I just… I don’t know how to move on, I don’t know where to start or what to do. I’m not sure how to just let go of what I’ve been feeling for so long. I don’t even know if I can let go, but I have to try.”

“You’re already on the right track,” Suho said, understanding now why Baekhyun was so bothered over all of this. “The first step is admitting that you need to move on, whether you want to or not. Even better that you do actually want to. I was getting worried that you would just keep pining after him and being depressed. As for the rest, it’s really something you have to figure out on your own; everyone deals with these things in their own way, it’s about finding what you need to do to get closure. However, I can tell you what I think you need to do. It’s up to you to decide if you’re going to do it or not.”

“And what is that?” Baekhyun asked, not sure if he was going to like this. Knowing Suho, probably not.

“Tell him. Tell Tao how you feel,” Suho replied.

“How exactly is that going to help anything?” Baekhyun definitely did not like that suggestion.

“To be honest, no matter what you say about knowing nothing will happen and being happy for him and Kris, I think that somewhere deep down you’ve still been hoping you had a chance. And I think the only way you can move on is if you hear straight from him that he doesn’t think of you as anything more than a friend,” Suho said bluntly.

“But… what if I tell him and he hates me, or doesn’t want to be friends anymore?” Baekhyun asked nervously. He didn’t know if Suho was right, but some part of him knew it made sense. He was just afraid of how Tao would react… and even if he knew that Tao didn’t feel that way, it would hurt to hear.

“Baekhyun, he would never think any differently of you and you know it. You two have been friends for far too long for that to be an issue,” Suho said, rolling his eyes. “Kris doesn’t even think any differently of you for it, and it’s his boyfriend you’re in love with.”

“I know, I just… wait, Kris?” Baekhyun’s eyes went wide at that. He thought Suho had said before that the others didn’t know.

“Oh, yeah, oops… guess I should have mentioned that before. He told me once, after they left, that one of the reasons he hadn’t revealed their relationship before was because he knew you would be hurt,” Suho replied. “You shouldn’t really be surprised, he’s always been the most observant in our group. And no, he’s never said anything about it to Tao. He told him that he was worried about causing trouble in the team and wanted to keep their relationship secret for awhile, which wasn’t exactly a lie.”

“No, I guess I shouldn’t be surprised, though honestly I think I would have preferred knowing,” Baekhyun said, frowning a little. “He’s really okay with it?”

“He is, and Tao will be too,” Suho nodded. “You can’t help how you feel, and no one can fault you for that. Kris of all people can understand why you would fall for him, I think. And he trusts that you would never try to interfere in their relationship.”

“I wouldn’t,” Baekhyun agreed, then sighed. “I still don’t know if this is a good idea, but I’ll think about it at least. Thank you.”

“Anytime, you know we’re all here for you, always,” Suho said, smiling. He truly hoped that things would work out for Baekhyun; he had known from the start that Chanyeol would be good for him, and he didn’t feel any differently now. Baekhyun just nodded and smiled back, grateful. He may complain about his friends sometimes, but really he couldn’t ask for a better group.

Baekhyun spent the rest of the day along with the next thinking over what Suho had said, and he got yelled at more than once at work for being distracted. Before he knew it, it was Sunday, the night he and Chanyeol had designated as their movie night. It had now been six days since the investigation, six days since the confession, and he had not spoken to Chanyeol since the day they returned. He knew he had to make a decision about what he was going to do by tonight. He wasn’t exactly planning to go to Chanyeol’s apartment tonight and profess his undying love or anything like that, he still needed time to get used to the idea, and he was a long way from being in love anyway. But he felt like he couldn’t properly face Chanyeol again until he decided on what path to take; would he keep holding on to Tao, or would he listen to Suho’s advice and try to put an end to this unrequited love? He couldn’t put it off forever, he had to choose, now. It was an hour before he was supposed to meet Chanyeol when he finally made his choice.

“Baekhyun, I’m so glad to hear from you!”

“Hey, Tao…” Baekhyun knew he already sounded nervous, and Tao picked up on it.

“Is something wrong?”

“Not exactly, I just need to talk to you about something,” he replied, biting his lip. “I’m sorry if this is a bit sudden.”

“It’s fine, you know you can always talk to me about anything Baekhyun. What’s up?”

“There’s something I’ve wanted to tell you, for a long time now,” Baekhyun said, deciding to just get straight to it. He took a deep breath, and then tried to say it, but it wasn’t as easy as it sounded. “I um… I lo… “

“Don’t be nervous, just say it.”

“I love you!” he finally blurted out.

“I love you too, Baekhyun, you know that.”

“I love you,” Baekhyun stressed, knowing Tao did not mean the same kind of love.

“You… oh.”

“Yeah.”

“Baekhyun, I…”

“I know, I’ve always known. Just say it, please.” Suho was right, he realized. He needed to hear it.

“I love Kris. I’m sorry Baekhyun, you’re my best friend, but nothing more. I’m really sorry, I don’t want you to be hurt…”

“It’s okay, Tao, I know,” Baekhyun could hear the other man’s voice crack slightly, and he felt bad for upsetting him. He held back his own tears, not wanting to make it worse. “Thank you.”

“How could you thank me right now?”

“Because now I know for sure that I never had a chance. I just needed to know that. We’ll still be friends, right?” Baekhyun could feel the stinging in his eyes grow, and he knew he needed to end this soon.

“Of course we will, always. I don’t know what I would do without you, Baekhyun. I am so, so sorry.”

“It’s okay, please don’t feel guilty or worry about me, I’ll be fine. I really will. I have to go now, but I’ll call you again soon. Thank you again, Tao.” Baekhyun hung up before his friend could respond, and finally let the tears fall. It hurt. It hurt so much to hear those words, it was even worse than when he found out Tao was leaving. At the same time, he felt relieved. He didn’t have the burden of not knowing anymore, he didn’t feel that desperate longing and emptiness that he had for so long. This hurt, but it was a wound that he knew would heal with time. He knew that one day, it wouldn’t hurt anymore. He knew that he wasn’t in love with Chanyeol, but that one day, he could be.