SHAKING CONFLICTION 

Acceptance is a feeling that everyone relies on. Many may say that the only acceptance they need is their self-acceptance, but in a social world, other people and their approval is what truly moves you forward.

To Kyungsoo, his friends are his world. They always find ways to cheer him up when he’s down, make laughter when his eyes form tears and speak bluntly when his imagination gets away. They wish to be with him despite his many flaws and Kyungsoo is grateful. They mean everything to him and Kyungsoo will be everything for them.

When a rivalry sparks between another group of men and his friends, Kyungsoo can only take a backseat from the thrown insults and punches. Unlike his admirable companions, Kyungsoo’s not strong in character or with fists. But, Kyungsoo still attempts to show his worth by nursing his friends’ wounds and cursing their rivals in dark and torturous ways.

Time passes and the hatred between his friends and the others remain the same. Kyungsoo can’t recall what triggered it but it doesn’t matter, the bond between them is far too damaged to salvage or make amends.

Or so Kyungsoo thought.

When coming across an injured enemy, it is thought that weak Kyungsoo would finally have the chance to actively take part and avenge his friends from all the cuts and bruises marring their skin.

“Help,” a voice rasped out, pain and desperation clearly heard underneath the surface of the sounds.

He knows he should walk away in the least. He should let the man die in the alleyway next to his apartment complex because that’s what his friends would do and that’s what they expect him to do too.

Instead, Kyungsoo helps the bleeding man off the gravel and leads him to his rundown apartment.

Kyungsoo nurses the man’s wounds as he would with his friends. When he allows the man to rest and sleep peacefully on his old couch, Kyungsoo drowns himself in self-loathing. He doesn't sleep that night due despising his lack in conviction and how easily he betrays the people he cares for the most.

When Kyungsoo wakes in the morning, the man is gone and Kyungsoo wishes that what happened the previous day would simply disappear from history.

The man, on the other hand, doesn’t allow that to happen. No matter how many times the man has to forcefully gain entry into Kyungsoo’s apartment, no matter how many times Kyungsoo asks, yells, cries and begs for him to leave, the man doesn’t. No amount of spiteful words or feeble shoves will get rid of the man because Kris says he has a debt to pay and won’t stop seeing Kyungsoo until it is paid.

Since Kyungsoo is weak minded, he gives into the enemy. The enemy can shower him with small gifts, wonderful smiles and eyes with substance, but Kyungsoo cannot remove the fact that Kris is dangerous. He is and will be the poison to the friendships he cherishes and Kyungsoo can’t let the fatal effects sink in.

Sadly, it is too late because Kyungsoo realizes that Kris’ fangs have already sunken into his heart and made it ill. His heart trembles in fright and in love. This can’t happen. They can’t happen.

Kris whispers how they could be the sweetest of secrets and Kyungsoo’s infected heart believes it.

Sabotage is a notion he thinks up one night as they lay on the couch together. He can imagine a scenario where Kris laughs in his face and unveils their relationship to his friends. The acceptance he received from them is painfully revoked and Kyungsoo is left alone for a long long time.

To appease him, Kris’ towering frame is brought down to Kyungsoo’s level time and time again in order to tell him how selfless he is, how amazing of a person he is and Kyungsoo thinks that it wouldn’t hurt to trust in the lies.

But in the end, Kyungsoo thinks he must be selfish for smiling happily with his friends one moment and kissing their enemy the next. He wants both of his two worlds to merge but, this want will only remain as such. There is no amount of repairs that can fix the damage done.

Kyungsoo's heart continues to tremble and shake.

It’s a regular day when one of his valued friends dies at the hands of the enemy. The friend was walking home when he was suddenly ambushed. It was the last straw for Kyungsoo’s fragile conscience. He makes the decision and he’s sure it’s the right one.

Kris comes to him and attempts to explain, tries to apologize, cries for his forgiveness and for him to put down the knife that shakes within his hands. In the end, Kris has to disarm him and begin to cradle the broken Kyungsoo in his arms.

This time, when Kyungsoo begs for Kris to leave and never return, he does.

Kyungsoo’s life rewinds itself to the times where Kris’ face doesn’t appear and his friends are the only things taking up his free time.

One of Kris’ friends willing took responsibility for accidently killing Kyungsoo’s friend and goes to jail for his crime. Not long after, the rivalry between the groups vanishes. They choose not to associate with each other anymore because death was one step too many and they realize that the fighting must stop before more destruction is caused.

The coast is seemingly clear on both fronts, but Kyungsoo can’t make his feet go back to Kris. He’s torn between his lost friend and his lost love.

I’m sorry, Kyungsoo. I never meant to cause you so much pain.
In the beginning, my debt to you was to take care of you like you took care of me. Then, it quickly escalated to me wanting to give you the world and for you to receive the love you dearly deserved. I should have known not to force you to take such risks for me. I should have understood we couldn’t be together.
I’m sorry my love for you was a burden and I hope you will find it in your heart to forgive me. I’m sorry, Kyungsoo. I wish you the best.

The note was slipped under his apartment door just before Kyungsoo was told that Kris had moved out of the country.

Even with years gone and the note safely locked away in his closet, Kyungsoo’s heart still trembles and quivers.

Original Request Form:
Requester: kmwsweetness

Exo pairing: Kris/D.O.
Prompt: Secret love
Genre: Angsty with a little fluff
Reason: Because no one really writes this pairing but I think it could work and they are my top biases for each group!
Special request: I have none, just go with what you're writing muse tells you! 

A/N: ...You gave me soooo much wiggle room, I had no idea what to do. At first, I was thinking canon!fic and then came up with this ^. And I keep missing the mark in terms of genre 0A0, this is really angsty...barely, if any, fluff. I hope you still liked it though >> I actually liked Krisoo right from the beginning because visaully, they're opposites right? I think they're cute. Anyways...bye. xoxo <3 Thanks for making a request!

Approximate WC: 1050