“好像 什么都不懂的一个孩子一样 纯真

重生 那个美丽的瞬间1

双眼 闭上又睁开害怕这一切只是梦

留恋 我就真诚站在你面前 渴望得到你视线”

 

“This moment feels like I was born as a child who knew nothing

I closed my eyes again in case it would be a dream

You were standing in front of my desperate self and praying

Just once, I want to walk side by side with you..”

“너의 수호자로 저 거센 바람을 막고

네 편으로 모두 다 등을 돌려도

힘에 겨운 어느 날 네 눈물을 닦아 줄

그런 한 사람 될 수 있다면

어디든 천국일테니”

 

“As your guardian angel, I will block out that strong wind

Even if everyone turns their back against you

On hard days, I will wipe away your tears

If only I can be that kind if person

Wherever we go, it’ll be heaven..”

 

 

 

 

 

 

Lay woke up from the chirpings of birds by his window. He rubbed his eyes and yawned. It was another beautiful day for him and his lover. He stood up and went in front of his full-length mirror. He smiled, eyes sparkling and said, “Good Morning Suho. Thank you for another beautiful day.”

 

 

 

 

 

A few years ago

 

 

 

It was the year Lay would never forget, the year he met Suho. Or rather the year “Suho tried befriending Lay.” That was Suho said. Lay knew it was a bumpy road for Suho to take but he succeeded anyway, with flying colors.

 

Lay lived half of his life in a hospital.  He was sick and his family was living in China at that time.  He had no friends and he seldom talked. Lay isn’t the type of person who mingles with the other patients from the hospital. He was a cold and emotionless person.  He was the person who’d prefer staying in his room all day long rather than talking and mingling with them.

 

Lay loves singing a lot. Music is his paradise, he finds peace in it. No matter where he is, give him a guitar and in no time, he’ll be in his own little world. Most of the time, people would see him sitting on a corner singing.

 

People tried making conversation with him, but they would always fail. It’s not that he can’t speak, he just doesn’t feel like talking to them or they’re just really boring.

 

 

 

 

June 06, 2010

 

How can Lay forget that day?  It was the day he met Suho, the infamous son of the ophthalmologist taking care of him. He was having his daily check-up when a boy suddenly bursted inside the room panting, as if he was being ran after by a million of buffalos. Lay looked at him and scanned the boy standing in front of him. He was around 173 cm, petite and has milky white skin.  The said boy looked at Lay and smiled showing his dimples that he didn’t noticed earlier.  The boy brisk-walked towards him not minding his dad’s complains and held both of his shoulders. Lay would be lying if he said he didn’t felt electricity throughout his body from the sudden touch from the guy standing in front of me.

 

“Are you Zhang Yixing?” the guy asked shrugging him. Lay just nodded. “Hi I’m Joonmyun but you can call me Suho, arasso?” Suho beamed and held out his hand.  Lay looked at him blankly and took Suho’s hand. “Nice to meet you.” Suho said and left. Leaving him and the doctor dumbfounded.

 

 At that time Lay swore to himself never to associate with someone like him.

 

 

 

 

 

 

September 2010

 

 

After the faithful day of meeting Suho, Lay’s life in the hospital became a mess. It was a living hell for him…. though. For the past 2 months, Suho has been harassing his peace everyday, EACH and EVERY day. Suho would visit him and accompany him in his room. And even though Lay gave him the cold shoulder, Suho’s smile never disappeared on his face.

 

Lay hated it. He hated Suho. He hated his happy-go-lucky attitude. He hated the way his dimple shows up when he smiled. He hated everything about him.

 

When Lay had enough of Suho’s little adventure of visiting him he remembered glaring at him and saying “ off!” and “I don’t need someone like you!” And for the first time, Suho’s smile was gone on his face. It was the reaction Lay expected but he never expected what happened next. Suho looked at him straight in the eyes, tears threatening to fall from his big doe-eyes and smiled before uttering a shaky “Sorry” and left.

 

 

 

 

October 7, 2010

 

It was Lay’s birthday but he couldn’t care less. Ever since he got to Korea he never celebrated his birthday. He never thought of eating outside or buying a gift for his self.  It was a waste of time and money for him.

 

It was like any other day, him walking around the hospital. Lay sat on the bench outside the hospital, thinking. After what happened to him and Suho, Lay couldn’t get the boy out of his mind. The way Suho looked at him with tears in his eyes and the way he apologized. After that incident, Suho stopped visiting him. It was a relief but somehow, he felt something was missing but he couldn’t determine what or who is it.

 

Lay sighed as he stood up and began to walk back inside the hospital when he felt someone tugging him from behind. He looked back and saw a little boy holding a flower. “H-hyung. S-someone w-want me t-to give this t-to you.” The little boy stuttered and shoved the flower near his face. Lay looked at the boy and took the flower from him. Lay didn’t notice the smile forming on his face, but the little boy did. He smiled to Lay before running back to his mother before bidding him goodbye.

 

Lay walked back to the hospital but would stop every now and then because of some kids giving him flowers. Lay tried asking some of the kids who gave him the flowers but the kids would always answer him with a smile and ran off.

 

Lay stood inside the elevator holding the flowers he got from the kids earlier. He didn’t notice it before but the flowers he received was one of his favorite flowers. He remembered he usually goes to the green house located behind the hospital and stay there for a whole afternoon, enjoying the peace and the flowers around him. “Who could possibly give me this?” he thought before hearing the beeping sound of the elevator.

 

Lay walked out from the elevator and almost immediately, the staffs and nurses would smile at him and greet him “Happy Birthday.” He didn’t know how to react. He never told anyone his birthday except his doctor and he told him beforehand not to tell anyone about it. Of course, his doctor insisted of celebrating, just the two of them but Lay rejected his offer.

 

Lay was about to open the door to his room when a girl called out his name. Lay looked at the girl sitting on a wheelchair holding the same flower he received earlier. The girl motioned him to come closer to her and Lay obeyed her. When he got closer, Lay noticed something wrong with the girl’s eyes. She was blind and although she was ill, the girl kept her smile on her face, reminding him of someone he doesn’t want to remember or see again. Lay knelt in front of the girl and told her he was in front of her. “Oppa, someone asked me to give this to you. Happy Birthday! May you have more birthdays to come.” The girl said before peeking him on his cheeks. Lay blushed and smiled at the girl before thanking her.

 

Again, he asked the girl who gave him the flowers but the girl answered her with a smile just like the other kids. After awhile, the girl asked Lay to walk her to her room which was on the other side of the building. Feeling happy, Lay agreed to walk her back. The girl would occasionally asked him questions and Lay would gave her short answers.

 

The two of them were quiet when the girl suddenly chuckled. Curious, Lay asked her why she laughed. “You know Oppa, I’ve heard you suddenly changed.” The girl said making him confused. Lay stopped from their tracks and asked, “What are you talking about?” The girl looked up at him and smiled though she doesn’t see him. “They said you used to be a cold and emotionless person but somehow you started changing little by little.” She said. Lay looked at her stunned. He didn’t notice it before but he did changed. He would smile from time to time and would sometimes converse to some of the patients. He changed and he knows the reason. It’s because of- “And you know why Oppa?” Lay train of thought was cut when the girl suddenly spoke again. “Why?” he asked. “Joonmyun Oppa.” She said while smiling. “Anyway, I think we’re here now right?” she said and looked up at him again. Lay looked in front of him and the girl was right, they were in front of a room. Lay knocked on the door and waited for the girl’s mother to open it from the other side. “Thank you Oppa! Let’s meet again soon. And by the way, I’m Jihye.” She said before her mother pushed her wheelchair inside her room.

 

 

 

 

Lay stood there outside her room frozen. He knew Suho was the reason he changed but he never really admitted it to himself. He hated him but a part of him was thankful to Suho. If it wasn’t for Suho’s constant visits, he’d never change.  Lay walked back to his room quietly, head bowed and eyes on the floors.

 

 

As Lay walked to his room, he was greeted by a certain someone holding a cake and a bouquet of flowers. Lay stood in front of his room still analyzing what he was seeing. Suho was smiling at him, holding a birthday cake and a bouquet of flowers, his favorite flower. “Happy Birthday! Sorry if I only got you this.” Suho said as he walked towards Lay. He motioned the frozen Lay to blow the candles and Lay did as he told. Suho laughed when Lay gave a weak blow.

 

Lay looked at Suho, sure he was with Suho for 2 months but he didn’t paid any attention to him whatsoever. But Suho’s laughed was one of the most beautiful things he has heard in his life. It was like music to his ears, a sweet melody that slowly making Lay addicted to it even if he’d just noticed it.

 

“Come on. Let’s eat the cake. It such a waste if we just stand here and look at it.” Suho dragged Lay to his bed and sat him there and placed the cake on the table. The next few hours was spent Suho talking nonstop and Lay just listening to him. He would often smile at Suho’s stories and the latter would smile at him and .

 

As night came, Suho unexpectedly fell asleep on the sofa inside his room. It was Lay’s first ever celebration in Korea and he was glad Suho made it possible even though he hated the idea of celebrating. Lay looked at the sleeping Suho and smiled to himself. “Thank you Suho.” He said before drifting to sleep.

 

 

 

 

 

After Suho’s celebration surprise to Lay, they have been inseparable. Suho would always visit him just like before and brings him his favorite food. Lay didn’t know how Suho knew all his favorite food but he put the question aside. Lay love it when Suho visits him, he love it when Suho tells him corny jokes and laughs at his own corniness. Sometimes, they would go to the Green House and just stay there and sing. Just like him, Lay found out him and Suho had a lot in common. Suho loves singing and most of the time they’re together, Lay will play his guitar while Suho would sing.

 

Around the hospital they were the perfect combination. The people around them would envy Suho, Lay who was known for being the cold and expressionless guy was his friend and he would always show his emotions to him. They would often see Lay laughing and smiling when he’s with Suho.

 

 

 

 

 

The days went by fast and it was another year for both Lay and Suho. Though things were going well with them, Lay’s health wasn’t. His vision was becoming blurry and he knew why. It was the main the reason why he went to Korea. Every week, he’d go to his ophthalmologist with Suho. Suho was always with him, he would never leave Lay and he was happy Suho did. He was in love with him and he knew it but he never dared confess to the said boy. He was afraid, he was afraid of rejection and he was afraid that their friendship might come to waste if he did. He knew Suho was straight plus, he didn’t want to scare him if he tells him he’s in love with him.

 

 

 

 

February 2011

 

Lay sat on the bench at the hospital’s park as he watches the people around him. There were children giving flowers to their parents and there were also a patient with his lover laughing and all lovey-dovey. It was Valentine’s Day and just like before, he didn’t gives a damn. Last year, he spent Valentine’s Day alone in his room just like the years before that. He was used to it already but this year was different.

 

He may not want to admit it but a little part inside of him wanted to see Suho. He wanted to be with him on Valentine’s Day. Unfortunately for Lay, Suho went on a school trip for 2 nights and 3 days.  Hence, the result was him sitting on the bench all alone.

 

He stood up and sighed. He was getting sick of the couple in front of him. Lay walked back to the hospital when he felt someone holding his right hand. He looked at the person holding his hand. “What is it little boy?’ he asked. The little boy just smiled at him and gave him a rose with a rolled paper  tied on its stem. Lay took the rose and patted the boy’s head before thanking him. The boy smiled and ran back to his parents.

 

Lay felt that something like this happened before but shrugged the idea away. He took the paper from the rose and read what’s on it.

 

 “好像 什么都不懂的一个孩子一样 纯真 重生 那个美丽的瞬间.”

(Pure, like the innocence of a child who doesn’t know better. Born in this beautiful moment)

 

Was on the paper and Lay can’t helped but wonder who sent him the rose. It was written in Chinese and the words were simply beautiful to his liking. He was about ask the boy before when another kid came to him with the same rose on his hands. He took it from the kid and thanked him.

 

“双眼 闭上又睁开害怕这一切只是梦 留恋 我就真诚站在你面前 渴望得到你视线.”

(Eyes, closing and opening again, afraid this is only a dream. Not wanting to let go, I stand before you honestly, wishing for your attention)

 

It said and Lay just stood there examining the park, hoping to see the person who did this. As soon as Lay entered the hospital, there were kids standing in one line with roses. Stunned, Lay stood there and thought why it was happening to him and who maybe the culprit behind it. He took the roses from the kids not forgetting thanking them every now and then. When he got all the roses from the kids, he bowed and thanked them one last time before heading to the elevator.

 

Lay stood inside the elevator looking at the roses. He was puzzled, questions were pouring out from his brain and it’s giving him a headache. The elevator opened and Lay walked towards his room when he saw a familiar person in front of his room waiting for him.

 

“Jihye” he uttered as soon as he reached her. The blind girl smiled and waved at him. “Oppa, here. Happy Valentine’s Day!” she said and gave the rose to him. Lay took it and thought that indeed this happened before. “Come on Oppa. Let’s go to my room.” She said and Lay started pushing her wheelchair.

 

“I’m so happy for you Oppa.” She said suddenly. “Someone’s doing all this just for you. You must be really happy.” Lay stopped and looked at her and asked. “Jihye, do you know who made all this?” Jihye smiled and nodded. “Really? Who?” Jihye looked up at him and giggle. “I don’t know his face Oppa. But I know his voice.” She answered.

 

Lay stayed quiet and walked her to her room. As they reached her room, Jihye asked him to read out loud the papers attached to the roses. Lay took the papers from each of the roses and laid it on the table.

 

“只是想和你一起走 两个人用同样的步调 协奏 一次就足够’”

(I only want to be with you, our footsteps in harmony, just once is enough)

“对我 来说妳比天使还灿烂耀眼 如果 有谁对你不义 我一定不允许”

(To me you’re more illuminating than an angel. If anyone wills any ill towards you, I won’t let it happen)

“仿佛 第一次进入伊甸园的忐忑不安 让我”

 (Nervous as if I’m stepping into Eden for the first time)

“每天只是望着你 心里一直想着你”

(I want to look at you every day, think of you every day)

 “为你挡下狂风 身为你的守护者”

(Blocking the gusts for you, I am your guardian)

“永远有我 就算世界都冷漠”

(You’ll always have me even if the whole world turns cold)

“每次你痛苦委屈 为你会把泪擦去”

(Anytime you are hurt or sad, I will wipe away those tears)

“如果是你和我 不管在哪里 天堂是随时和随地”

(As long as you’re with me, no matter where, Heaven is anytime, anywhere)

 

As Lay read the sentences one by one, the first thing that came to his mind was Suho. The way the sentence where really cheesy and sweet at the same time reminded him of the said guy. Suho was corny and cheesy yet sweet. And it was the reason he fell for him. Without noticing it, Lay started crying. He didn’t know why but he felt really happy and loved because of the person who did this to him. Jihye heard sniffling sound and asked if he was crying. Lay lied to her, thankful that Jihye can’t see him. He doesn’t want anyone to see him crying.

 

He wiped the tears on his face and fixed himself. Jihye was sitting on her wheelchair smiling at him. Though Lay knew she can’t see him, he was happy the girl was always there whenever something like this happens to him.

 

“1..2..3” as Jihye counted, a certain music started playing inside her room. (play this) Lay listened to it. It was just instruments playing but it was beautiful. He closed his eyes and continued listening to it. As he closed his eyes, he saw Suho’s face, smiling at him. He smiled and swayed his body slowly side by side.

 

Lay opened his eyes when he suddenly heard someone singing along with the music. He knew this voice, the voice he had always loved to hear. Slowly, he turned around and saw Suho singing, holding the same rose he got earlier. He gave the rose to him and Lay took it.

 

Lay listened intensively to every word Suho was singing. It was the exact words he had read earlier. He glanced at Suho before removing the paper from the rose. From all the paper he got it was the biggest one. Lay opened the paper and as soon as he read what’s on it, he started crying all over again.

  “我爱你”

(I love you)

 

 

Suho stopped singing as soon as he saw Lay sobbing. He knelt in front of him. “Lay, W-What’s wrong?” he asked as he hugged him. “I-I’m sorry. I-I shouldn’t have made t-this.” Suho stuttered. Lay was still crying on Suho’s shoulder. The person he loves feels the same way to him. He couldn’t explain why he was crying. He was happy indeed but it was all too sudden for him. He’d always thought Suho was straight and he was just being a really good and sweet friend to him. So he never expected that Suho would feel the same to him or even confess to him.

 

Jihye who was listening silently at them suddenly spoke up. “Suho Oppa, even though Lay Oppa can’t tell you what he really feels right now, I know deep inside that he’s happy. He had always been ever since you and he became friends, I can feel it. Though I couldn’t see you right now, I can feel the love you guys both have for each other.” She said. Suho smiled at her and thanked her.

 

Suho waited for Lay to calm down and help him do so by humming the song he sung earlier. “I.. We should get going now, I guess. Thank you Jihye for all the help you gave me.” Suho said when he felt Lay finally calming down. He held lay hand and carried the roses he gave him. He bid one final farewell to Jihye before closing the door to her room.

 

“I.. I don’t know what to say.” Lay suddenly spoke as they walked back to his room. “It’s okay, you don’t have to answer me. If you don’t feel the same-“ Lay stopped walking and looked at Suho before saying “NO” a little bit too loud. Suho looked at him about to say something when Lay cut him off. “I-I like y-you too.” Lay stuttered and turned his back to Suho. He was blushing really hard and he didn’t want Suho to see him as red as a tomato.

 

Lay heard Suho chuckling and tightened his grip on him. Lay looked at their hands together before looking at Suho. Suho smiled at him before surprising him with a kiss on his cheeks before uttering. “Happy Valentine’s Day!”

 

 

 

 

A few months later

 

Lay woke up and the first thing he saw was pitch black. “Suho might have switched the light off again” he thought before shrugging the sleeping boy beside him. “Suho” he said. Suho answered him with a “hmmm” before hugging him. Lay got frustrated; he hated being in the dark. It scared him to death. “SUHO!” he shouted finally waking Suho. “What?” Suho asked groggily, still sleepy. “Please turn on the lights. You know I hate it.” Lay stated. As soon as Lay spoke the first sentence, he felt Suho’s gripped on his waist tightened and soon after a crying sound was heard.

 

“S-Suho?” Lay turned around so that he was facing Suho. He can’t see his lover but as soon as he turned around, he pecked him on the lips. “W-What’s wrong?” he asked but Suho continued crying.  Lay didn’t know why Suho was crying as well what to do. He hugged him, rocking their body back and forth.

 

“I-I’m sorry. I’m sorry” Suho kept on saying. Lay stayed quiet the whole time. He was afraid to ask why he was apologizing. He didn’t know but he felt that Suho did something wrong or bad that he regretted it when Lay woke up. “They’re on” he heard Suho said. He asked what he said and Suho repeated it with a lower volume to his voice. Lay heard it and asked what was on.

 

As soon as Lay heard Suho’s answered he regretted asking him in the first place. And he too, started crying.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

“The lights are on”

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

A month has passed since Lay found out he was blind. The weekly medication didn’t help his eyes from becoming blind but nevertheless, he was happy just like Jihye. Even though he can’t see anymore and he can’t see his lover’s smile and beautiful face, he was happy. Suho never leave him. He was always there, just like before they became lovers and before he became blind.

 

Suho never let Lay get away from his sight. Though Lay stayed most of his time inside his room, his eyes never left Lay. He loves Lay with all his heart and he’s willing to do everything for him. No matter what the circumstances were.

 

 

 

 

It was on a Sunday morning when Lay and Suho decided to go out. They got their permission from Suho’s father, as well as the hospital the day before. They decided they needed to go out, get some fresh air and have some quality time together even though they were inseparable.

 

Suho had already planned what to do earlier. They went to a small restaurant selling Lay’s favorite food. They also went to the park and sat there, talking to each other. They stayed there until afternoon, forgetting all their worries. Once in awhile Suho would find Lay rubbing his eyes as if checking if he can still see.

 

It hurts for Suho, seeing his lover trying and wanting to see again. He hated how he can’t do anything about it. He wants Lay to be happy, much happier than the way he is now. On the other side, he was happy he was able to be with Lay all the time. He didn’t know what to do if Lay leave him. He considered his self lucky, the first time he saw Lay playing the guitar in his room, he knew he’d fell for the guy. And when he found out he was his father’s patient, he took it as a way to get closer to Lay.

 

It wasn’t easy at first as Lay was known to be cold. And sure he was, Lay treated him like he was a nuisance but it didn’t stop him from trying nor giving up. He remembered the day Lay told him to stay away from him, it hurts like hell but he endured it. The day he surprised Lay on his birthday and the day he confessed to Lay was his favorite.

 

He remembered waking up really early to prepare the event for him. He bought flowers near their house and asked people from the hospital to help him. He will never forget the way Lay said he likes him too and the blushed he had on his face that day. He was lucky for sure, the person he loves, loves him too.

 

Lay suddenly stood up, breaking Suho’s train of thoughts. “Lay?” he stood up and held Lay’s shoulders. “Let’s go” he said and started walking off. Suho held Lay’s hand as they walked through an intersection. They were in the middle of the road when Lay suddenly stopped walking. Suho stood in front of him. “What is it?” he asked. Lay smiled. “Nothing.” He said. “I love you Suho.” He uttered, a blush appearing on his face. Suho smiled and took Lay’s hands. “I love you too. Come on.” They were about to walked off when he heard a beeping sound on their right.

 

Suho looked at the road and saw a car driving off towards Lay at a fast speed. Suho’s eyes widened as his mind took control of his body. He pushed Lay off the road and made himself a human shield as the car hit him. Suho flew on the other side of the road and fell on the ground with a loud thug, blood flowing from his head. Lay stumbled on the ground when he heard a loud crashing sound and people screaming soon after.

 

Lay sat there on the ground, looking for Suho but he never came. He was about to stand up when he felt someone holding his shoulders. “Suho?” he asked. “Are you okay young man?” the man asked him. He nodded. “Where’s Suho?” he asked. “Suho? Are you referring to the guy wearing a black t-shirt?” the man asked. Lay didn’t know what to answer. He didn’t know what Suho was wearing. “I-I’m blind” he stated. He heard the man gasped before talking to him again. “Is the man the saved you named Suho?” the man asked and Lay swore he heard an ambulance’s siren heading towards them.

 

“LAY!” Dr. Kim shouted as soon as he arrived at the scene. “Dr. Kim! W-where’s Suho? What’s happening?” Lay asked as he heard the familiar voice. Dr. Kim took Lay inside the ambulance avoiding his questions and went back to the hospital without telling him where his lover was.

 

“Stay here Lay. I’ll talk to you later.” Dr. Kim said as he sat Lay on his bed. Lay nodded and laid on his bed. As soon as he heard the door close, he sat up. He wants to hear his lover’s voice. He wants to feel his embrace. He was confused; he tried remembering what happened earlier. They were walking when he heard a beeping sound beside him and the next thing he knew he was pushed to the ground. “S-Suho” he uttered when the possibility of Suho being hit by a car came to his mind.

 

He started crying. He was afraid that what he thought really did happened. He laid in his bed again and hugged one of his pillow. He was crying nonstop and before he knew it he drifted off to sleep

 

 

 

Lay woke up in a white room with no furnitures whatsoever. He looked around him and saw nothing but a big white wall. He figured out it was a dream since he can see, “Lay” he heard someone calling out his name. “W-who are you?” he asked and turned around but fail to see anyone.

 

“It’s me, Suho” the voice said and as soon as Lay turned, Suho was standing in front of him smiling. Lay cannot believe what he was seeing. Suho beamed  at him. “I’ll miss you my angel.” He said. “W-What? You’re not going anywhere right?” Lay was hoping Suho would say no or he was just joking. Suho smiled disappeared from his face. “I’m sorry Lay. I can’t protect you anymore. He said. Lay tried holding his hand but he felt Suho slowly disappearing. “Suho? No! No! You can’t leave me!” he started screaming. “I’m sorry Lay. I love you” Suho said before completely disappearing.

 

 

Lay woke up with sweat all over his body. The dream felt too real and he was shaking. Lay sat up and started breathing slowly. His heart was beating way too fast as he woke up. Lay yelped when he heard someone knocking. “Come in” he said. Lay knew it was Dr. Kim. “Dr. Kim? W-where’s Suho?” he asked.

 

He heard Dr. Kim sniffling and he knew from that what he thought happened did happened. “La-“ “NO!” Lay shouted. “W-where is he? Let me hold him. Please, Dr. Kim. I’m begging you.” He said crying as he stood up. “Lay, please calm down.” Dr. Kim held his shoulders. Lay sat on his bed defeated. “”I-I’m sorry Dr. Kim. I-I want to hold him and tell him how much I love him one last time.” Lay said as tears streams down on his face.

 

“Lay. Suho wants me to give this to you.” He said as he placed a paper on Lay’s lap. “What is it Doctor?” he asked. “A letter. He wanted me to read it for you.” He stated. “Please read it for me.” Lay begged . He felt the paper taken away from him and soon, Dr. Kim started reading the letter.

 

 

 

My angel,

   I know this may seem cheesy and all but I want you to know how much I love you. Ever since the day I first saw you, I knew I fell hard for you. I’ve always observed you ever since then. Creepy much huh. But it was my only way to see the real you. You were known for being the cold and emotionless Zhang Yixing and I was afraid that you might hate me if I tried talking to you. When I found out you were my father’s patient, you didn’t know how ecstatic I was. As soon as I found out, I came running to the hospital hoping to see you in his office. And luckily for me, you were there. I introduced myself to you and you just looked at me with no emotions. After that incident, I’d always go to your room and bother you. At first I thought you wouldn’t mind but when you told me to “ off” I was deeply hurt but it didn’t stop me from giving up. I wanted to be with you and I’d do everything just to be with you. I stopped visiting you but it doesn’t mean I’ve stop thinking of you. When your birthday came, I prepared a surprise for you. At first I thought that you’d hate me for doing that but instead, you finally accepted me and became friends with me. The more time I spent with you, the more I fall for you. I had planned on confessing to you a month before I did. I started learning how to compose and tried making a song for you. I still remember the way you said you like me too. You were blushing so hard and your voice was shaking. You were really cute at the time that I let go and kissed you. Mian if I surprised you. When you woke up seeing nothing, I panicked. I’m sorry. I didn’t know what to do at the time. I wanted to help you but I’m still young. As days passed, I’ve finally thought of a way to help you. I tried asking my father to do it but he refused it. I really wanted to do that but  I guess it wouldn’t happen. I’m sorry. But nevertheless, I promise you that I will never leave you. I will protect you. I will love you even if you push me away. My love for you will never vanish. I love you my angel. I love you Zhang Yixing.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Lay stood in front of a black shiny tombstone holding a bouquet of flowers, a cake and some food. He sat in front of it and laid the food container in front of him. “Happy Birthday my Guardian!” he said as he opened a bottle of soda and place it on the tombstone.

 

“I miss you. I’m sorry if I haven’t visited you. School is really hectic and all.” He said talking to the tombstone. Lay stayed quiet and started crying, He misses Suho, he misses his touch, his voice, heck, he misses everything about him. A year has passed since that incident. He remembered crying for a week and not eating anything at all. But he remains strong; he knew Suho wouldn’t want him to be sad.

 

Lay wiped the tears on his face and stood up. He felt a cold breeze touching his lips as if Suho was kissing him, telling him that he misses him too. That everything will be alright. Another cold breeze went by and he was sure he heard someone whispering to him. Lay stared at the tombstone and smiled. “I love you too my lover and my Guardian. I love you Kim Joonmyun” 

 

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I don't know if I'm being emotional for the past few days but

OTL I cried while writing this, especially the last part. ;A;