"I need a break Tae.. I'm tired being like this.."

"So you want a break-up?"

Minho nods slowly.

"Okay. We're over then.. Be happy" Taemin says casually and he gets out from Minho's car.

Taemin doesn't understand what he feels right now. 

He loves Minho, really. But he feels his tears won't come out even after Minho let go of him for a woman.

It hurts like hell and usually he cries if he face situation like this, but he doesn't know why he can't cry. Maybe his heart is already too numb for bearing the pain that caused by Minho.

*******************

3 months ago..

"Tae, where are you?" Kibum, Taemin's best friend called him on a certain night.

"Home" Taemin answered simply as he paused his game.

"Are you with Minho?"

"No. He's taking his mom to the hospital"

"Hospital?" Kibum asked in disbelieving tone and Taemin frowned.

"Yes. Why are you suddenly asking me about Minho?"

"Are you sure he's in the hospital?" Taemin was sure Kibum's tone was accusing.

"Hyung?"

"Why I see him having dinner with Yuri right now?"

Taemin jerked, "What?"

"He is having dinner with Yuri and they are holding hands in front of me ing right now"

"Hyung, please don't joke around" Taemin defended, but he knew that Kibum wouldn't lie to him, especially when it's related to Minho.

"If you don't believe me I can send you their picture or you can come here now and see it yourself" From his voice Taemin knew that Kibum was mad.

From the begining, Kibum didn't like Taemin got together by Minho. Even after few weeks they’re dating, Kibum still hadn't accepted their relationship until Jonghyun, Kibum's boyfriend who also happened to be Taemin's childhood friend, persuaded Kibum to open his heart for Taemin and Minho if he really wanted to see Taemin happy. Finally Kibum accepted even if with a heavy heart. He threatened to punch Minho across his face if he ever hurt Taemin.

Taemin didn't answer Kibum, he knew that Kibum was having a 1-year anniversary dinner with Jonghyun at Kibum's favorite Italian restaurant, and hearing Kibum calling him like that he was sure that it must be Jonghyun who stopped Kibum from doing any harmful action to Minho if he was really cheating on him. He felt sorry for ruining their precious time.

"Can I punch him now?" Kibum asked from the other line, his tone was dead serious.

"No. Just.. Just ignore him.." And he heard Kibum murmured something that he couldn't catch, 

"Sorry for ruining your dinner, hyung" Taemin said apologetically

"You should thank Jonghyun. If he's not here Minho could have died right now"

"I'm sorry.."

Kibum hung up immediately and Taemin let out a shaky breath, 

"Why Minho? Why?" He asked himself, his shoulder was trembling and finally he cried. Alone and it felt so horrible.

Half an hour later, Jonghyun's phone vibrated and he saw a message from Taemin when the waiter came to serve them the dessert.

He flipped his phone open, 

From : Taeminnie

Sorry for ruining your dinner & thanks for stopping Kibum hyung doing anything to Minho.

I'll talk to Minho later. Sorry once again.

Jonghyun smiled and give his phone to Kibum, 

"Read this" he said as he took a spoonful of vanilla ice cream to his mouth and offered his phone to Kibum.

Kibum took Jonghyun's phone and sighed after reading the message.

"I told him that Minho is a bastard"

Kibum glanced to the table where Minho was Yuri's hair tenderly.

If it wasn't for Taemin words and Jonghyun, Kibum would really have made Minho's face unidentified.

*************************

Taemin goes to the place that first across his mind, Kibum's house. He runs as fast as his legs take him and he presses the bell.

Kibum opens the door and his eyes widen, "Taemin?"

When Taemin sees Kibum's face, his emotion explodes. He cries uncontrollably and Kibum hugs him.

"Tae.. What happened? I'm here now..  Don't cry" Kibum tries to calm Taemin down as he pats his back few times.

"M-Minho.." Taemin chokes

Kibum doesn't need Taemin's explanation for what happened. He can tell from the way Taemin acts.

"Hyung.. I.. I.. Sorry.."

"You don't have to say sorry. It's him who has to say sorry.." Kibum feels anger slowly filling him up, but he knows scolding Taemin right now isn't a good action. Taemin needs support, not a bunch of 'I told you so' from him.

"I.. I know I am stupid.. I.."

"Shh, you're not Taemin. He's the stupid one.." Kibum hugs him even tighter, Taemin cries hard until finally he falls asleep on Kibum's embrace.

Kibum carries Taemin to his room and lays him on his bed.

Little does Taemin know Kibum wipes Taemin's tear-strikes face while saying, "I told you so, Tae..."

~

It's already past 10 at night when Taemin finally wakes up.

"Hyung?" he calls once as he rubs his eyes slowly, but there's no response from Kibum. 

"Key Hyung..?" He tries again as he straightens his body into a sitting position. He looks around but no one is there, and suddenly he remembers about Minho and what just happened.

Taemin feels ashamed of himself, he used to say to Kibum about how great Minho was, how kind and caring he was and bragged about their relationship. He once said to Kibum that Minho is better than Jonghyun, and Taemin got ignored by Kibum for 3 days.

Taemin knows Kibum hates Minho so much. But now after this happens, he feels so stupid that he can't prove Kibum what he said, he is just humiliating himself in front of Kibum.

*****************

"Tae, are you really not coming to Gwiboon noona's birthday party today?" Kibum said, heavily annoyed.

"I promised Minho to accompany him to his family dinner. I'm sorry hyung.." Taemin replied from the other line, voice pleading.

"I told you about her birthday since 2 weeks ago! Why can't you say no to him?! She really wants you to come"

"But I can't. Minho doesn't know Gwiboon noona, he doesn't want to come"

"Taemin, she's my sister. What should I say to her if my best friend couldn't come here? Jonghyun will be mad at you too!" Kibum snapped.

"I know. I know. I'm sorry hyung, I'm really sorry.."

"Do you think sorry is enough? Why you always do whatever Minho tells you to do?! Don't you have your own choice?!"

"But I don't want to make him upset, hyung. He's.."

"Whatever, I'm tired talking to you like this. Just do what Minho tells you to do. I don't care" Kibum cut him angrily and closed his phone after his last word.

Luckily Kibum had Jonghyun who could cheer him up before the party started. Jonghyun didn't get mad at Taemin but Kibum ignored Taemin again for a couple of days. Jonghyun became the one who received Taemin's apology call everyday until Kibum forgive him. 

Taemin promised Kibum to prove that Minho was a great guy not like what Kibum thought about him.

*******************

Taemin cries and cries until Kibum enters his room.

"Taemin?" 

He runs to hug the boy and soothes his back, "Don't cry for Minho anymore.. He's not worth your tears."

"But.. But.. I feel so ashamed.. I-I should've listened to you back then.."

Kibum doesn't say anything.

"I'm sorry hyung.. I'm really sorry.."

"It's okay.." Kibum wipes the tears on his cheek.

"I'm sorry... Key hyung.." Taemin sobs in Kibum’s shoulder, Kibum just hugs him tighter and soothes his back.

When Taemin is done crying, Kibum says softly,

"Tae, get prepared. We're going"

"Where?" He asks while wiping the remaining tears on his face.

"You'll know later. Jonghyun is waiting outside" Kibum smiles and walks to his closet to take jackets for Taemin and himself.

"Where are you taking me?"

"My favorite place to spend the night with Jonghyun" Kibum answers as he zips up the jacket for Taemin.

"Where? Jong-hyung's bed? No, Thanks"

Kibum rolls his eyes, "Not that kind of place you ert!"

"Then where?"

"Somewhere. I'm sure you'll like it" He smiles and drags Taemin outside.

In front of Kibum's house, Taemin sees Jonghyun has been waiting inside his car.

Kibum sits on the passenger seat beside Jonghyun and Taemin gets into the back seat, but he is surprised because there is someone already.

"Jinki hyung. Do you remember him, Tae?" Jonghyun says when he notices Taemin has opened the back door.

"Jinki hyung? Sure! Your friend on piano class right, Jong-hyung?" Taemin sits beside Jinki who smiles brightly and offers his hand to Taemin.

"Bingo!" Jonghyun says ethuntiasticly.

Taemin shakes Jinki's hand and smiles a little.

They've known each other since a while ago, but they just rarely meet since Jinki is on college and Taemin still in school. But their relationship is considered good for people that rarely meet. 

Jonghyun drives to a place where Taemin doesn't know before. Taemin doesn't know how long it takes because he falls asleep, when they finally arrive, Jinki taps Taemin's shoulder gently,

"Taemin, we're here.."

Taemin opens his eyes slowly and the first thing he sees is Jinki's smiling face. Kibum is stepping out from the car and Jonghyun is tuning his car's radio, looking for a certain station.

"This place is called 'The Hill of Memory'. I don't know why they named it that way but they just did.. The name is pretty weird, right? But the view is so beautiful from here.." Jonghyun says to no one in particular, Jinki just nods at Jonghyun's sentence and Taemin looks across the window.

They are on the middle of a hill because the can see lights from the houses below them and stars seem nearer, it looks so beautiful.

"Get off you two!" Jonghyun says, sounds a bit irritated because he can't find the station he wants and turns off the car's engine completely, 

Taemin gives Jonghyun a weird look but he gets out of the car and Jinki follows. Taemin sees Kibum is sitting on a big rock near the car and Jonghyun walks to his direction.

"I don't know if it works on you or not, but being here makes me forget about my problems.." Kibum says and he points a spot, which Taemin assumes the top of the hill, "Just sit there if you want. That is the best spot, everything looks so pretty from there"

Jonghyun sits behind Kibum and wraps his arm around him.

"Then what should I do? Just sitting there?" Taemin frowns

"Well.. You can just forget about everything for a while and enjoy the view.." Kibum answers as Jonghyun rests his chin on Kibum's shoulder.

Taemin still frowns, 

"Sorry for interrupting, maybe we can go there quickly now, Taemin. I don't want to see any show they're going to do" Jinki suddenly says as he points Jonghyun.

"Hey, we're not going to do anything!" Kibum exclaims.

"You always say that but I never saw your 'we're not going to do anything' happens"

"Really, we're not doing anything!" Kibum still insists.

"What did they do actually?" Taemin asks Jinki.

"One time they’re almost making babies in front of me. They're not even care anymore if they're making out in front of me.."

"Oh.." Taemin says, a bit shocked

"If that what you say as 'not doing anything' what is your 'doing anything' then? I'm enough with seeing both of you making out okay. Let's go, Taemin" Jinki says matter-of-factly and grabs Taemin's wrist, then he drags Taemin to somewhere that Jonghyun and Kibum can't be seen.

Jinki & Taemin arrive at the spot Kibum said earlier. And true to his word, everything seems prettier from there, the lights from houses below and the twinkling stars above. Jinki then asks Taemin to sit in a big rock beside him, 

"Are you okay?" Jinki asks

"Hm?" Taemin tilts his head to his direction, "What do you mean?"

"They already told me about you.." He pauses, "And what happed to you in the afternoon"

Taemin sighs, "About Minho?"

"Yeah..."

Taemin sighs again and looks up, "It still hurts if I should be honest..."

"Maybe I don't know the full story about your relationship, but I don't think you should cry for someone that you didn't even know will cry for you..."

"But maybe... Maybe he will cry for me.." Taemin says softly and there's only silence between them for a while.

But deep inside Taemin knows that Minho probably will never cry for him. It was only Taemin's love for Minho that saved their relationship until the day they broke up.

"What do you think will happen to Minho?" Jinki asks

"I don't know.. Maybe he's happier without me.."

"No no, that's not what I mean. Kibum was so serious talking about punching Minho..."

Taemin smiled for the first time since the afternoon, “Kibum-hyung should really punch Minho or something.. Maybe I could feel better if he did that..”

Taemin is staring at the stars, Jinki is staring at the stars.

No words or glances exchanged, just the sound of night winds until Taemin’s small sniffle is heard.

“I don’t want to cry for him again…” Taemin mutters to himself, but his tears won’t listen to him.

 “I don’t want to cry for him… I am tired being the one that always suffers..” He uses his sleeve to wipe his tears, only Taemin’s sniffles can be heard for a moments.

“It’s okay to cry..” Jinki puts his hand on Taemin’s shoulder and pats him gently.

“But I’m tired of being hurt. I hate I can’t do anything about it..”

Jinki keeps silent, he just soothes Taemin’s back slowly,

“I thought if I hold on him a little more, he will eventually realize that I really love him.. But he just never care about me..” He bites his lips, “I never feel secure even if I’m with him.. I’m alone and everything about us only became my insecurities..”

“Just let it out.. You’ll feel better..” Jinki speaks to Taemin softly and he wraps his hand around Taemin’s body and pulls him closer.

“I just want to be loved by him…" Taemin murmurs on Jinki's chest, "I want to be like Kibum hyung who doesn’t have to do anything to make Jonghyun hyung loves him. I want to show everyone that I have someone who really loves me…”

Jinki just rubbing Taemin's back in circular motion, "Maybe he just wasn't the one for you. When the time comes, you'll find someone who will actually love you.."

"But when?" Taemin's hand fists Jinki's jacket, "It feels so horrible walking through this by myself, hyung..."

"Someday.. That day will come. If you believed it, it will come. Sometimes people choose to leave not because the absence of love but they just know that things will get worse if they stay"

Taemin is silent. "But after he left..." He chokes, "He already found someone, he left me.. In the end I am still alone.."

"You're not alone, Taemin"

Taemin looks up to meet Jinki's eyes, "Kibum and Jonghyun really cares for you. I do too.. There's still many people who care about you.."

Both of them don't say anything for a while, Taemin just blinks and wipes his tears, "I'm sorry I let this all out in front of you, hyung... It's kinda embarassing.."

"Don't worry, it's okay. Feel better after you say it out, right?"

Taemin nods and smiles a little, "Don't tell Kibum hyung. He will get more worried. I don't want him worrying about me.."

"I won't tell him" Jinki smiles and Taemin felt his smile is the most heartwarming smile he ever saw in his life.

“Do you think Taemin will be okay?” Kibum asks Jonghyun who was currently kissing his nape,

“Jinki hyung is so good at cheering people kind of stuff, right? Just believe in him..”

“You know,” Kibum turns his body around so he is facing Jonghyun, “I was really scared when Taemin came to my house. I wanted to scold him about how I felt when he was with Minho but I can’t when I saw his face”

Jonghyun just takes Kibum’s hand and interlace them with his own, “Taemin is already hurt by this, don’t make it worse”

“I know..” Kibum sighs, “I really really really really hate that Minho guy. How dare he hurt Temin like that. You also see it, right Jonghyun? Taemin is the only one hurting in their relationship”

“That’s not important anymore right? They’ve broken up” Jonghyun raises one of his eyebrows

“It should be like, 6 months ago” Kibum rolls his eyes,

“Good thing you have boyfriend like me” He smirks, “If you’re hurting, I am hurting too”

“Whatever” But he smiles leans closer and kisses Jonghyun’s lips.

A few moments later, Jinki and Taemin go back to where Kibum and Jonghyun are sitting.

“Key hyung, you really need to punch Minho once” Taemin said as he wipes the remaining tears on his eyes.

“If I do that, will you feel better?” KIbum asks him with a smile on his lips

Taemin nods and runs toward Kibum and hugs him.

“Promise me you will punch him. You have to punch him” Taemin says as Kibum wraps his arm around Taemin’s slender body.

“I promise” Kibum caresses Taemin’s hair.

“Thank you hyung”

Jinki and Jonghyun just watch them and exchange glances.

kyaa finally i post this :DD somehow i really like this story ._. i know it's weird to say because i'm the author, but idk i really love taemin here..

and i am working on my first series fic hahaha hope it will turns out well *fingercrossed* C: