long live the reckless and the brave

The city was particularly gray that day. Clouds hung low on the city, the sun shying away, making everything and everyone seem bleak and dreary, and the rain fell on the skyscrapers like sheets of depressing paper, leaving the windows and the concrete dripping wet.

Sehun reaches up to loosen the knot on his dark necktie as he looks out of the ceiling-to-wall glass window of his corner office. It’s another one of those days where work becomes more boring and more difficult to wade through because of the unbelievably awesome weather in the country. Leaning back on his chair, he closes his eyes and sighs. He really hates rainy days the most.

The intercom of his phone buzzes.

“Atty. Huang is here,” his secretary’s chipper voice comes through the speakers.

A second later, Atty. Huang has opened the door to his office and is standing in front of his desk. Huang Zitao is probably his closest friend, as far as close friends go, in the workplace. In Sehun’s book, that just basically meant that he works more with Zitao than with the other lawyers in the firm.

“I brought in your mail,” Zitao tells him, placing a stack on envelopes on his desk before he allows himself to sit on one of the mahogany-colored seats in front of the desk and crosses one of his long legs over the other. “Went through the files of your current case,” he continues. “It’s solid.” Sehun looks at him, a shrewd look in his eyes. A wide smile crosses Zitao’s face and Sehun blinks.

Zitao is tan, and all long limbs and features. He’s lofty and slim in his dark suit, dark tie, and dark hair slightly messily parted to the side. When he’s in the courtroom, he’s incisive and harshly direct to the point. No one ever dares mess with Zitao because one look from him is like an express order to drop dead to the ground. Except when he smiles. Zitao smiling is like seeing a kid getting his favorite candy from the store, like Christmas coming early and Santa giving him the gifts he’s wished for. The change is jarring and is something that only people who works a lot with him gets to see.

Sehun straightens up and sighs. “What do you want?” he asks, going through the folders on his desk and deciding which ones he should go over first.

“I’m sure you’ve heard about me winning my case,” Zitao begins, leaning back smugly on his seat. “Let’s go out for some dinner and drinks tonight. On me.”

“Dinner and drinks are always on you when we go out in case you’ve forgotten,” Sehun reminds him.

The first time Zitao invited Sehun to go out after work, Sehun was very much against it. He was still new to the firm then. He took law very seriously and didn’t work his off to get into the top firm in the country to make new friends. His social life was fine as it was. But Zitao had been very persistent about being nice to him and just kept on asking him to take a break from work, eventually resorting to him paying for everything all the time, or, in other words, bribery. Sehun, figuring it was free anyway, finally caved in. Now he really had no excuse to say no to Zitao.

“C’mon,” Zitao whines, pouting this time. He bats his eyelashes at Sehun. “Please. Pretty please.”

“How you’re one of the top lawyers around, I have no idea why,” Sehun sighs and nods. “Fine.” He buries his face in his palm as Zitao squeals happily and uncharacteristically. He really has no idea why or how he is able to stand Zitao and agree to him at times. “Don’t you have some work to do?” he shoos him away as he lifts his face to look at him again.

“I just won a case,” Zitao jogs his memory arrogantly. “And I’ve already done the research for my next one. I’d say I have the time to bug you some more.”

“Go away, Zitao,” Sehun grumbles, opening a folder to bury himself in it. “Unlike you, I have a lot of work to do.”

Zitao stands up and buttons his suit. “You work too hard for your own good,” he comments gently.

“Yes, well, some of us need to work to live,” Sehun retorts. He starts flipping through the files in the folder.

“Hey, the last time I checked you come from a family of—,” Zitao stops talking when Sehun glares at him. He chuckles and rephrases what he was going to say. “You’re one of the best lawyers around. I mean, you’re not as good as me, but—.” He earns another glare from Sehun. “Sehun, you’re paid well around here. One of the best paid. You don’t have to work your off,” he finally finishes.

“Yeah yeah yeah,” Sehun merely dismisses him with a wave of his hand.

He closes the folder he’s been going through and turns his seat to look out of the window some more. The rain slaps on his windows angrily as if it’s trying to get inside to find some solace and warmth as well.

He’s been a lawyer for almost three years already. Fresh from a private university boarding school, he’d been accepted to the top law firm in the country and had immediately been received as one of their fine, young jewels. As much as it had been a quick ascent to the corporate ladder, it hadn’t been easy. It had taken him a lot of late nights, sometimes overnights, and had to dodge a lot of jealous peers and seniors in the process. It wasn’t that he was that good, he was also that hardworking and he wanted it that badly. Law was the only thing he had and he wants to make sure that he has it for a long time.

The intercom buzzes again.

“There’s someone on the line for you. A Do Kyungsoo,” his secretary informs him. “Should I put him through?”

Sehun jolts in his seat and stares at his phone.

Do Kyungsoo.

He’s suddenly reminded of too tight white polo shirts, navy blue blazers and khaki slacks with a dark red tie. Snippets of a field with perfectly trimmed grass, red brick walls, oak tables and chairs, shiny black shoes, and rambunctious laughter flash through his mind.

He hasn’t heard from him since…

The intercom buzzes again. “Attorney?” his secretary prompts him, jerking him back to reality.

He presses the white button on his phone and answers, “Yes, put him through.”

The red light on his phone starts blink, an indicator that someone is on the other line waiting to talk to him. Do Kyungsoo. He slowly picks up the receiver and puts it to his ear.

“Hello? This is Oh Sehun.”

-

Bars really weren’t Sehun’s scene, even if the bar is a high class one, where only the most respectable and some of the richest people come. Drinks were ordered and passed around. He took one or two that was handed to him and rejected the rest. Drinking wasn’t something he wanted to become a habit.

“C’mon, Sehun,” Minseok whines, putting an arm around his shoulders. “Loosen up a bit. We’re not in court anymore.”

Beside him, Jongdae scoffs. “Don’t tire yourself, Minseok,” he shakes his head. “You know how Sehun is.”

“Yeah,” Yixing agrees, nodding towards Sehun. “I’m actually surprised that you’re here.”

“Of course he’s here,” Jongdae states. “Zitao invited him.”

“Hey, hey,” Zitao waves them all off, getting up to stand behind Sehun. He puts his arms around him. “Stop ganging up on him. He’s here and that’s what matters.” He hugs Sehun then straightens up. “More drinks?” The guys cheer and Zitao is off to the bar to order them some more.

“What is going on with you and Zitao?” Minseok asks this time, taking his drink in one gulp. “You really do only go out with us when he asks.”

Sehun lifts his eyes up and meets Wu Fan’s across the table. They were all co-lawyers from the firm, all of them older and more experienced than him. Wu Fan has already been named junior partner even. Sehun isn’t really sure how he got into their group of friends, as some of them weren’t very friendly to him when he first started. He supposes it’s all because of Zitao. Zitao always knew how to get people to get along and that’s what he probably did for him. He realizes that he owes a lot to him.

Before Sehun could answer, Wu Fan reaches up and smacks Jongdae at the back of his head. Jongdae sputters indignantly, commenting on how he can just do that to someone of his stature. Wu Fan retorts that he shouldn’t ask stupid questions and should mind his own business. Sehun nods to Wu Fan in some form of gratitude. Even though they never really speak to each other, they respected each other. That, and Wu Fan has been Zitao’s friend since middle school. He probably doesn’t want Zitao’s personal affairs being talked about like that.

Zitao comes back with another round of drinks. He squeezes himself in between Minseok and Sehun, putting an arm on the latter. Sehun accepts the next three drinks, but stops Zitao at the fourth as he knew he was already nearing his limit.

Sehun watches as his fellow lawyers drank up all their case and work complaints. Yixing kept on going on and on about the divorce case he was handling, how the couple wouldn’t settle and just wanted to fight it out in court. Minseok, meanwhile, seriously talked about how the arson case he had was such a pain and how it was so obvious that the other party was guilty and stupid. Wu Fan shut them all up by announcing that he was going to win his murder case in court tomorrow, his client being the murderer.

Yixing nods towards him. “How’s your drunk driver case going?”

“Bastard is going to jail,” Sehun declares harshly and definitely. Zitao glances at him, while the others laugh and cheer.

Sehun rolls his eyes and settles on watching the other people in the bar. There was a time when he frequented them a lot, a time when things seemed easier and a lot more fun. His mind drifts on to Do Kyungsoo and their phone conversation that morning.

“There’s a reunion,” Kyungsoo had said. Two days from now and he was invited. “I’m pretty sure Junmyeon said an invitation was sent to your office.”

Sehun doesn’t remember seeing the invitation, although it probably got buried underneath all the cases. It’s been a long time since university, since boarding school, since he’s heard from any of his friends back then. Sure, he hears about them, none of his friends then were ordinary people anyway, but still. It’s been a really long time. He isn’t sure whether he wants to go back to it.

“Something’s been bothering you,” Zitao interrupts his reminiscing, peering at him. “What is it?”

Sehun hesitates. “There’s going to be a school get-together,” he shares with a sigh, “a reunion of sorts.”

A reunion, he bitterly thinks, almost smirking at the idea. He knew what it was going to be like. They were going to catch up, talk about where they currently were in their lives, and then backtrack to how it was, to when it was still fun, to when they didn’t think much about life.

“Isn’t that a good thing?” Zitao lightly nudges him, probably hoping he’ll cheer up or at least fake a smile.  “The first couple of months we met, you never stopped talking about your boarding school friends. Now you get to see them again.” When Sehun doesn’t respond, Zitao lightly elbows him. “It’s been three years, Sehun,” he points out concernedly. “You said you were over it.”

Sehun actually smirks this time. “That doesn’t mean I should go,” he states.

-

Two days later, Sehun finds himself standing in front of an eminent five-storey red brick building. The expansive lawn in front of him spread on in all directions and it suddenly felt like it was only yesterday when he used to run on it in the middle of the night, adrenaline high because of not wanting to get caught.

Taking a deep breath, he trudges on towards the entrance, fixing his suit, and tells himself that it was now or never.

“Better now than never,” he whispers.

-

Sehun stares at the boy (girl?) in front of him. Or should he say man? He knew that if anyone ever called him a boy, he’d flip because he was already grown up. He was in university, wasn’t he? And so he stares at the man standing in front of him, arms outstretched, hand offered in a form of meeting and greeting. He was shorter than him, but not by much. Sehun still found himself eye-level with his sparkling big doe eyes, his hair falling into slight waves over his forehead and eyebrows. His smile was wide and bright, like he was happy with seeing something he liked.

This thought makes Sehun swallow.

But he takes the hand and shakes it. “Oh Sehun,” he finally introduces himself.

“Sehun,” he repeats it as if trying to get a feel of his name in his mouth. “Sehun,” he says it again and his whole face brightens up even more if that was even possible. He takes his hand back, looking thoughtful. “Sehun and Luhan,” he grins. “LuHun? SeHan? HunHan? HanHun? What do you think?” He blinks his sparkling eyes at Sehun.

Sehun stares at him like he’s told him the world were ending. “What are you, a middle school girl?” he blurts out before he could stop himself. But he couldn’t help but think about how Luhan does look like a middle school girl, the couple naming aside. He’s pretty and cute and adorable that way. He suddenly feels like sweeping him off his feet and cuddling him after kissing him senseless. Sehun mentally slaps himself.

Luhan actually giggles like a schoolgirl, then he sobers up and what’s left is a mischievous twinkle in his eye. “I might be pretty like a school girl,” he says in a way that makes Sehun shiver, “but I certainly am not one.”

“Stop scaring him, Luhan,” a tan-skinned guy arrived, putting an arm around Luhan and squeezing his shoulder. He smiles at Sehun and introduces himself. “Hi. I’m Kim Jongin. Welcome to the club.”

-

“Hey!”

He earns a slap on his back and Sehun turns around. Sehun smiles back, unable to help himself. Junmyeon always managed to make everyone smile back at him the way he smiles at the world, all sincere and giving.

“Hey,” Sehun then moves to hug him. When Junmyeon hugs him back, he closes his eyes and, somehow, he feels like he’s come home. Junmyeon was always good at that, making him feel at home.

“Look at you,” Junmyeon teases, taking a step back, giving him the once over. “All grown up.”

Sehun’s always been clever for his age, smarter than most, which got him accelerated one year up and got him into classes with older school seniors. His friends had always how young he was, with his baby face and baby-ish ways. They pampered him and indulged him and just always pegged him for someone who would follow them around. And he did. Maybe all too much.

“How are you?” Sehun asks instead of rising to the bait that he’s gotten hooked on way too many times in the past. He looks around and gestures around at the hallowed hall. “I can’t believe you’re a professor. Here, of all places.”

Junmyeon traces the wall that Sehun gestured at, looking thoughtful. “I’ve always thought I’d end up teaching somewhere someday,” he shares. “Our times here were some of the happiest I’ve had in my life and I figured,” he shrugs, “why leave it behind?”

“Figures,” Sehun mutters. “You really enjoyed being class president, didn’t you?”

“Why wouldn’t I have enjoyed it?” Junmyeon replies as if the answer was obvious.

Sehun almost scoffs, but manages not to. Unfortunately, Junmyeon catches this. He gives Sehun a smile, one Sehun thinks he’s reserved especially for him for when things had started to go badly.

“Despite everything,” Junmyeon begins again, much more carefully. “You did like it here, didn’t you, Sehun?”

“’Did’ about sums it all up,” Sehun answers with a stiff nod. He lets out a breath and lets his eyes wander. “So… when are the others arriving?”

Sehun doesn’t have to look to know that Junmyeon’s rolling his eyes as he sighs. “When has everyone else arrived early for anything?”

-

“There’s just one way to do things,” Luhan teaches him seriously, holding a finger up. His eyes are bright and luminous that always makes Sehun wonder what could possibly be going on inside of him to make him so all the time. “You just don’t get caught.” His smile grows when Sehun just stares at him blankly. “That is the trick of the trade.”

“But how—?” Sehun begins to ask. “What trade?”

“Or,” Baekhyun pipes in, coming up from behind them. “You become all chic about it.” He winks at Sehun, his eyes perfectly lined with eyeliner, as he slides on the seat across from him, followed by Chanyeol, their really tall friend, who obviously adores Baekhyun.

Sehun watches for a second as Baekhyun puts his bag on the table and Chanyeol proceeds to take his notes and books out, spreading them properly on the table so that Baekhyun could do his work well and in a much easier manner. Chanyeol then takes a pen from his pants pocket, uncaps it and hands it to Baekhyun. Such scenes of…affection always make Sehun wonder whether he was in boarding school or in a romantic comedy.

“But being chic about…anything, actually, takes skill and class,” Baekhyun continues before starting to do his schoolwork. He studies Sehun for a bit then shrugs. “I’m not sure if you have either one.” He then puts his attention to his work as if he hadn’t just insulted Sehun.

Chanyeol gives him an apologetic smile, making him feel worse. Luhan giggles and proceeds to poke at Sehun’s untouched salad.

“It’s like being late for class. If you’re late, you sneak in and pretend you’ve been there all the while,” Chanyeol tries to explain it to him. “Or when you do get caught, you arrive like you were meant to arrive at that moment and make sure that no one can do anything about it.”

“But I—,” Sehun begins again.

“Don’t worry,” Luhan assures him, his hand warm on Sehun’s thigh, “I’ll teach you everything I know.”

Baekhyun and Chanyeol look up at this and both have smirks on their faces. Sehun’s own face suddenly feels hot and he isn’t sure whether he’s reading Luhan, or any of them, right anymore. There’s still so much he doesn’t know about this whole boarding school business and this group of people who had taken him under their wings, something he isn’t sure is a very good idea all of a sudden.

“Have we started corrupting the new kid?” Jongin slips onto the empty seat beside Luhan, grabbing a handful of the fries that were on his tray and puts them into his mouth. Luhan somewhat gurgles, piqued, but doesn’t do anything about it.

“Do we really have to do this every time?” Kyungsoo’s tone shows his disapproval. He sits down on Jongin’s other side, his lips pursed.

Kyungsoo was tiny and cute and very much prim and proper. Everyone called him a prude, but Sehun could see that they all love him just the same.

“Of course,” everyone choruses, making Sehun blink in wonderment at what they were talking about.

Luhan gives Sehun another one of his smiles, one that seemed to spell ‘trouble’. “I think tomorrow night’s the night,” he announces.

“Let me check my schedule,” Baekhyun whips out his Smartphone, while Jongin and Chanyeol cheer. Kyungsoo was less enthusiastic, but he took out a black notebook, which served as his planner.

Sehun tries to smile back when Luhan puts an arm around him and tells him, “These are going to be some of the best years of your life.”

-

Sehun stares at the statue of the half- male in the hallway. He tilts his head to one side, and then tilts it the other way as he continues to study it.

“That is not the same statue. Well, this is still the one we replaced it with,” a voice behind him says and Sehun smiles at the familiarity of it. “It may look like it. It’s expensive, too, as I’m sure you know. But nope, not the same one.”

“I can’t believe it’s still here and no one even knows it’s a fake,” Sehun says, truly amazed at that fact. He turns around and comes face-to-face with another old friend. “Its weight is practically five times lighter. I’m surprised no one has tripped around here and smashed into it, only to have it fall because, well, it’s not really marble.”

“It’s close enough to marble,” Baekhyun shrugs, smiling glinting under the chandelier lights. “Can you imagine? It’s been 36 months and no one has even noticed. Junmyeon’s probably been guarding it very carefully.”

“You couldn’t just have said three years?” Sehun raises his eyebrows at him. Baekhyun merely rolls his eyes in retort. Sehun breathes deeply and looks at the statue once more. “No one’s even going to know it was us if people ever find out about this now.”

“That’s just too bad,” Baekhyun comments, looking truly disappointed with this information.

Sehun remembers that night all too well.  They were hurrying down the hallways as stealthily as they could, hoping no one would hear their drunken laughter and stolen footfalls. Sehun was having a much harder time running as he was bearing the brunt of the weight of the statue. Chanyeol and Junmyeon were hauling the other end in front, while Luhan helped him on the other end, although Luhan barely did anything to ease the weight off from him.

All the while, Kyungsoo kept on reiterating that they could’ve gotten a wheeled board of some sort to be able to transport the statue in a much easier way. But Jongin, or anyone else for that matter, was having none of that. It was much more exciting, and more prone to be captured, to actually carry the thing you were stealing out of the building and not just pushing it or rolling it around.

They had meant to have it go missing for a day or so, or maybe a week as Chanyeol so eagerly suggested, then just put it back like nothing had happened. Except that they’d practically destroyed the thing when they put it down on the ground after carrying it for what felt like forever. The arm got dislodged, the face was smashed in and, for a moment, it seemed like they were all doomed.

But then Kyungsoo just rolled his eyes, took his phone out and started dialing. Sehun ended up paying for the replacement.

“Ah the glory days,” Sehun sighs, realizing for the first time that he does miss it. He misses everything about it.

“We rocked, didn’t we?” Baekhyun turns to him, his grin lighting up his whole face.

Sehun grins back, equally as blinding, something he feels he hasn’t really done in a long time. “Yes, we did.”

-

Sehun’s just gotten out of the library, having finally finished doing some research for a paper that was due on Friday, when he’s suddenly grabbed and pulled into running.

“What’s going on?” he asks, practically choking on his own breath.

“We’re going to the field for a while,” Luhan tells him.

“Why?” Sehun presses.

“The headmaster just found out that Jongin’s been the one dying all his ties pink,” Luhan gleefully shares as if they weren’t running for their lives. “He’s just gotten caught sneaking out of the office with pink dye on his hands.”

“Why are we running?” Sehun manages to puff out, slightly irritated that they were nervous about getting caught for something they didn’t even do. “Where’s Jongin?”

“Oh the headmaster knows we’re friends with him so it’s best if we disappear for a little while,” Luhan informs him, glancing behind them. He chuckles, making Sehun look as well and sees Baekhyun and Chanyeol at their heels.

“Disappear?” Sehun chokes. He really didn’t plan on skipping any of his classes. Rich kid or not, boarding school was still expensive and his parents still expected to get their money’s worth.

“It just means that you shouldn’t run into the headmaster anywhere in the school for a couple of days,” Chanyeol explains, now running ahead of them, his hand tight on Baekhyun’s.

Soon enough, Chanyeol and Baekhyun are way ahead of them and disappear through some trees at the edge of the field. Sehun detaches his hand from Luhan, out of breath. He bends down and leans on his knees. His heart feels like it’s going to burst out of his chest.

When he’s managed to catch his breath, he lies down on the grass, right beside Luhan, who was sitting down with his head bent.

Sehun watches as Luhan slowly lifts his head up and closes his eyes as a cool breeze hits them. Luhan’s golden hair is ruffled and Sehun suddenly has the urge to reach up and run his hand through them. He’s always thought that Luhan was beautiful, the kind of beautiful that he found was hard to find in anyone else. Luhan was childlike, almost ethereal, like anything he does was going to work out fine just because he was who he was. His smile changes minds and hearts and thoughts and Sehun couldn’t help but think how powerful he was. He wonders if Luhan knew the kind of power that he had over people. He wonders if Luhan knew the kind of power he had over him.

Luhan looks over at him just then and Sehun averts his eyes. If Luhan had caught him staring, he never says anything. Instead, he just laughs.

“This is why you don’t want to get caught,” Luhan states. “And over something so juvenile.” He shakes his head and even rolls his eyes. Sehun just watches him, waiting for him to continue. “Jongin likes to play games.”

“Don’t you all?” Sehun scoffs.

“Don’t you mean we?” Luhan raises an eyebrow. “No matter what you may think, Sehun, you are one of us now. You became one of us the moment you walked into the dining hall and smiled at me.” A smile crosses his face as he remembers the memory.

“How is that—?” Sehun starts, but Luhan is suddenly straddling him and he loses all train of thought.

“You think I don’t know what you think of when you look at me?” Luhan asks, leaning his face so close to his that he could feel his words ghosting over his mouth, making him lose his breath. “You think I don’t know what you do when you think your roommate’s asleep and no one is listening?” Sehun’s eyes widen and Luhan smirks. “Junmyeon is a lot of things, but quiet isn’t one of them. And he tells me everything,” he spells this out slowly and painfully.

Sehun looks away, his cheeks flaming red, hoping that the ground would just swallow him whole forever, that way he won’t ever have to look Luhan in the eye. He’d rather die than face him again, not after his adoration of him was indifferently slapped back in his face.

“I’m sorry,” Sehun mutters and he blinks because he’s never been rejected so harshly before.

Luhan lifts himself up and laughs. Sehun finds himself looking at him again because Luhan was laughing and Luhan laughing was always a sight to behold.

“I think about you, too, Oh Sehun,” Luhan assures him, one corner of his lips lifting up to form a smirk. He leans impossibly closer to Sehun once more. They stare at each other just as Luhan speaks again. “Do you want to know what I think of when I look at you?”

“What?” Sehun manages to croak out.

“This.”

And then Luhan’s mouth is on his, pushing and pulling and intense that Sehun forgets to breathe and just reaches up to cup Luhan’s neck because Luhan wasn’t wrong about any of the things he just said. He does want Luhan, has always wanted him since he first laid eyes on him.

Their lips slide and glide against each other’s, hints of strawberries and vanilla mixing in their tongues, and Sehun wonders if anything has ever felt so right in his life, if there was anything more perfect that Luhan in his arms, kissing him like the world was ending any moment.

When Luhan sits back up, Sehun’s tie is on his hands, slightly tugging. Sehun follows, because he would always follow Luhan, and sits up and crushes their lips together once more, Luhan falling to his lap. And there are stars swirling in his head because Luhan’s undoing the knot on his tie and throwing it aside, proceeding to take off his navy blue school blazer and ing his polo shirt.

“Oh my god.”

Sehun pulls away because he didn’t run all the way to the field just to get caught practically ing up one of his friends, even though he so badly wants to continue. He wasn’t sure whether this was a one time thing for Luhan so he’d rather finish what they started rather than be left hanging. But there’s nothing much they could do as they now had company and Sehun isn’t one for exhibitionism. Luhan gets off of him, hair mussed and lips red from kissing, like nothing had happened.

Jongin is laughing, while Kyungsoo is rolling his eyes.

“Did you guys have your bit of fun?” Jongin teases, grabbing Luhan’s blazer that they had apparently discarded along the way as well. He runs off with it.

“Kim Jongin, give that back!” Luhan screams as he runs after him, but not before shooting Sehun a small smile. Sehun ducks his head as the blush spreads to his cheeks.

Kyungsoo plops down beside him, looking exasperated. “I don’t know why we’re dating such children,” he makes a face.

“I’m not dating Luhan,” Sehun corrects him abruptly.

Kyungsoo looks at him for a moment, to assess just how stupid he was probably. “Well, you are now.”

-

“Look who it is!” Chanyeol’s deep voice booms across the room as he sees Sehun approaching the bar. Chanyeol orders another drink from the bartender and hands it to Sehun. “I didn’t think you’d actually make it.” He pats Sehun’s shoulder and squeezes it lightly. “How are you?”

“Good,” Sehun answers, taking a sip of his drink.

“I’m glad,” Chanyeol looks sincere. “So should I be calling you Atty. Oh now or something?”

“You could,” Sehun agrees, smirking.

“Can’t believe you’re a lawyer,” Chanyeol shakes his head.

“Well, what about you, Chanyeol?” Sehun inquires. “What have you been up to?” Chanyeol shrugs. “Are you still Baekhyun’s pet?”

Chanyeol looks hurt. “You say that like it’s a bad thing,” he says. “I help manage Baekhyun’s many bars across the city if you must know."

“Still Baekhyun’s pet,” Sehun repeats teasingly.

“It’s not like you’re any better,” Chanyeol retorts. “You’re Luhan’s pet and…” He trails away and clears his throat uncomfortably.

Sehun merely stares straight ahead. He makes no move to deny or to discourage the awkwardness in bringing Luhan up. It’s no secret to anyone how badly things ended between them. He still thinks about it sometimes and always wonders how he could have changed things even though such thoughts were pointless.

“I’m sorry, Sehun,” Chanyeol breaks the silence, his hand on his shoulder once more. “I really am. If I could—.”

“Don’t,” Sehun interrupts. “It’s not your fault.” It’s mine, he couldn’t help but think.

-

“Have any of you thrown the other under the bus?” Sehun suddenly asks one day. He knows that it’s not the right time because just minutes ago, he was under Luhan, writhing and sounds he didn’t even think he knew how to make. But it was a thought that he’d always wondered about, so he asked no matter how wrong the timing was.

Luhan looks at him with still heavy-lidded eyes. He pushes his bangs away from his sweaty forehead and shakes his head. “That’s an unspoken rule,” he tells him seriously. “No matter what happens, no one tells on anyone. Ever. No matter what the stakes are, no matter the costs. No one stays behind with the damage.”

“But,” Sehun starts to argue.

“But what, Sehun?” Luhan interjects and it’s another one of those moments where he witnesses Luhan being protective over his friends. “These people, Kyungsoo, Junmyeon, Baekhyun, Chanyeol, Jongin… they’re people I care about, people I would do anything for. And I wouldn’t ever betray their trust for anything. I know they’d do the same for me. So if I get caught, then I get caught alone.”

“But wouldn’t you rather that someone gets caught with you and holds your hand through the repercussions?” Sehun insists.

Luhan snickers. “We’re all pretty stupid, I’m sure you know that by now,” he asserts. “Just a bunch of rich kids who’re bored and have nothing better to do with their lives. So we play games. We steal things, make people’s lives miserable to our merriment and for what?” He his lips.

“I’d like to believe that we’re not stupid,” Sehun gently corrects him, “only reckless. And a bit brave, too.”

The smile on Luhan’s face at that moment is something that Sehun knew then he’d remember for a long time.

“That makes it even worse,” Luhan says, eyes sad, “Because that would mean that we actually know what we’re doing.”

-

“What are you doing out here? It’s freezing,” Kyungsoo sidles up to Sehun, who was staring out into the sky, leaning against the balcony railing.

Night has fallen and has brought with it some of the cold that Sehun’s experienced, and still remembers clearly, a couple of years ago. Stars still lights up the sky and Sehun wonders for a moment if any of those stars still favor him.

“Jongin’s still not speaking to me,” Sehun relays, recalling how Jongin had purposefully ignored him when he’d come to say hi earlier.

Kyungsoo sighs, rubbing a hand on his forehead. “Well he’s pretty stubborn when he wants to be, you know that,” he reminds him.

“Yes, but for three years?” Sehun demands, looking at Kyungsoo for answers.

But Kyungsoo shakes his head. “I’m sorry, Sehun. I don’t have the answer to that,” he tells him apologetically. “It’s not like I didn’t try and talk to him about it. But it’s Jongin and I can’t just change his mind about things.”

“I get that he’s Luhan’s best friend,” Sehun continues, “But I loved Luhan, too, and I didn’t mean for things to have ended the way it did.” He sighs and bows his head, pulling at his hair. “He’s acting like, like I wanted for this to happen.”

“But you didn’t want this,” Kyungsoo says, assuring him that he understands. He puts an arm around Sehun’s shoulders. “None of us want to see any of our friends hurting.” He pauses. “Jongin’s still dealing with things and I know you are, too. Everything will work out in no time.”

“That’s just it,” Sehun responds, a small sob escaping his lips. “There’s no more time.”

-

It’s the night before graduation. Excitement and freedom is running through their veins, as they almost taste the end of four years university, of fours years of childishness in boarding school. It’s a wonder that they were all looking forward to ending this chapter in their lives, a chapter that they had all thoroughly enjoyed and one that he was sure they would always go back to. But he supposes that all things really must come to an end, no matter how fun it is.

It’s close to midnight and they’re all on the field, lying down under the dark blanket of stars. Sehun thinks he could stay that way forever; curled up to Luhan, their hands clasped together, hanging out drunk with their four best friends he never thought he would have.

“We should do something to celebrate the beginning of the end,” Jongin suggests, sitting up, jostling Kyungsoo, whose head was resting on his tummy.

“The beginning of the end,” Baekhyun snorts. “How cheesy.” Still, he gets up, sighing as if this was too much work for him. “But we might as well.” Chanyeol grins eagerly beside him.

“What are we doing this time?” Junmyeon asks, almost as if reprimanding them, but looking thrilled at the idea.

“What do you say we go out with a bang?” Luhan’s eyes were gleaming like they always did, but there was some hint of danger that Sehun’s sure everyone’s noticed.

“What do you have in mind?” Kyungsoo demands, his lips pursed, but Sehun could tell he was itching to know what they were going to do.

The headmaster’s car was sleek, chic, and brand new. Sehun had seen it being delivered to the school garage. Everyone in the university, students, teachers, and staff alike, had ogled it. It was that shiny new thing that everyone to grab a piece of and Luhan was giving him that chance.

They weren’t sure who was going to drive it at first, but Luhan had called shotgun and Jongin decides that it’s Sehun who should drive since he’s the youngest and possibly the most responsible out of all of them. ‘Possibly’ being the key word.

Sehun reaches for Luhan’s hand across the handbrake, squeezing it, and Luhan smiles at him. These really were the best years of his life and it’s all thanks to him. Meeting Luhan has changed his life and he isn’t sure anymore where he would be if it wasn’t for him, or for any of the guys singing (screaming?) their hearts out in the backseat of the car.

Sehun isn’t sure how it happens, but one second Luhan’s hand is in his, and the next second, it isn’t.

Sehun opens his eyes, blinking as he stares up at the sky. He thinks for a second about where he was and what just happened. And then he remembers. A van had slammed into them, sending them careening off the road. Luhan was screaming and—Luhan.

He slowly gets up, testing to see if there was anything broken, when he assess that he’s okay, he crawls around the debris, looking here and there for his friends. He sees that Junmyeon is okay, sitting up and checking himself, obviously in shock over the incident. He crawls some more and finds Chanyeol, bloodied but seemingly fine, fussing over Baekhyun, whose eyes were wide and afraid. And, after a while, he finds Kyungsoo and Jongin and Luhan.

He sits down beside Kyungsoo, who was on the phone. He feels relieved that they were all accounted for. Except Jongin is crying as he cuddles Luhan and that creeping feeling that Sehun first felt when he woke up came crashing back into him. He pushes Jongin away from Luhan and he sees it.

“Luhan,” Sehun’s voice breaks because he’s not sure what to do, not even sure if there was anything he could say. So he just calls his name again. “Luhan.”

“How’s this for being reckless and brave?” Luhan coughs and blood comes out of his mouth.

“No,” Sehun cries. “Stop being stupid, Luhan.”

He cradles Luhan to his chest because it’s the only thing he can do. And the memories flash in his mind; the first time he meets Luhan, his first dare and how Luhan helped him through it, their first kiss, Luhan’s laughter, the way his eyes glazes over after they kiss, Luhan. Just Luhan.

“Luhan, please,” Sehun begs. “We’re just waiting for help. Don’t—just look at me.”

And Luhan’s eyes are glowing when he does. He opens his mouth and attempts to speak through all the blood. He coughs some more before he manages to get it out.

“You should go,” Luhan finally says.

“What?” Sehun asks in disbelief.

Suddenly, Kyungsoo’s and Jongin’s arms are on him and they’re dragging him away. He can see Junmyeon ahead of them, Baekhyun crying in Chanyeol’s arms as they run off the road and to the trees. He struggles, screaming out Luhan’s name, but it was no use. None of his friends would let him go run back to Luhan.

No one stays behind with the damage.

-

He opens his eyes and he finds himself slumped on the floor, his face wet with tears he realizes he hasn’t shed in years. He sobs some more, hands planted on the cool tiles, head bowed, and his tears falling like a waterfall.

“I’m so sorry, Sehun,” someone says and it’s only then that he recognizes the pair of arms around him, giving him warmth. “I’m so sorry.”

Sehun looks up and it’s Jongin; Jongin, who was one of his first friends in boarding school; Jongin, who is, was, Luhan’s best friend. He opens his mouth to speak when he notices that they’re all there, Junmyeon, Baekhyun, Chanyeol and Kyungsoo. Kyungsoo has his hands on Jongin’s shoulder, while Junmyeon’s standing on the side, hands in his pockets, staring at something far away. Chanyeol’s holding Baekhyun’s hand, while Baekhyun’s focused on his phone, eyes blinking rapidly.

They’d never really talked about what happened that night, the night that changed all of their lives forever. They never got the chance to.

Sehun didn’t go to graduation. That same night, he packed his bags and left. If no one would let him stay with the “damage”, then he might as well leave everything behind.

“I’m…” Sehun’s voice cracks. “It’s my fault. I was driving.”

“I made you drive,” Jongin says. And there it was, the clear reason why Jongin’s been seemingly angry with him. He’s always been angry with himself.

“We were all drunk that night,” Baekhyun reminds them.

“Blaming each other isn’t going to change anything,” Junmyeon finally speaks up. “It’s done.” He pauses and takes a deep breath. “I’d like to think that, after everything that’s happened, we’ve all lived our lives to the fullest, and I think Luhan would think the same thing. He wouldn’t want to have any of us crying like this.” Sehun can tell that Junmyeon is trying to hold himself together and he admires his strength, hoping that he had that in him.

“I just think that we shouldn’t have left him behind,” Sehun expresses. It’s something that has bothered him all the years that had passed. It’s something that he regrets most of all.

“But you didn’t,” Kyungsoo prompts and he looks at each of them. “We didn’t.”

Sehun closes his eyes and sags with relief, Jongin’s arms holding him up.

He did go back to the scene that night. He’d witnessed as the paramedics carried Luhan to the van, watched as the ambulance drove away with his heart. Now he knows he wasn’t alone then, just like he wasn’t alone now.

That evening, as Junmyeon gives the last toast, the five of them raise their champagne glasses in the air to honor the days of recklessness and seeming bravery.

To Luhan.

-

Sehun buttons his dark gray suit as he strides towards the office at the end of the hallway. The secretary looks up when he reaches her and hangs open. He doesn’t really blame her. In all the years he’s worked there, he never been to this part of the office. As a matter of fact, he’s never really been to any part of the office, except for his own and his boss’.

“Is Zitao in?” Sehun asks her, trying to keep his face straight.

“I—yes,” the secretary responds. She presses the intercom button. “Atty. Oh is here.” There’s a long pause and the secretary looks up at him. Sehun merely smiles. “Sir?” she buzzes Zitao again. “Atty. Oh is—.”

“Send him in,” Zitao’s voice comes through the speakers.

When Sehun enters and closes the door behind him, he notices that Zitao’s office is slightly bigger than his and that his desk is made of glass and is littered with documents and piles and piles of folders.

Zitao, meanwhile, is standing in front of his desk, a myriad of expressions on his face.

“You look like you just found out that the Santa who’s been giving you gifts isn’t real,” Sehun comments.

“You’re in my office,” Zitao points out.

“I know,” Sehun easily agrees.

“You’ve never been in my office before,” Zitao grudgingly reminds him.

Sehun shrugs. “I’m here now.”

“Er, do you want to sit?” Zitao then offers, clearly unsure as to how to proceed. Sehun sits down on one of the seats in front of the desk, while Zitao does the same, forgoing his own chair in the room. “Well, what can I help you with?” he asks.

“I brought your mail,” Sehun holds up the envelopes in his hand and puts them on the desk. Zitao looks at the envelopes then back at Sehun, who leans back in his seat. “I’ve also gone through your current case,” he adds, quirking an eyebrow. “I think there are some things you need to look over and adjust—.”

“My current case is solid,” Zitao interrupts, making a face at him. “What’s going on, Sehun? What are you doing here? Not that I mind, but it’s… strange.”

Sehun chuckles and Zitao has to blink. Sehun never really chuckles. “Well, I did just win that case with the drunk driver and I wanted to celebrate,” he says with a deep breath. He glances up at the wall clock. “Lunch break just ended, but I just thought that maybe you’d like to have some coffee with me. Or something.”

“You’re inviting me out. For coffee,” Zitao deadpans.

“I’m not really a fan of alcohol,” Sehun informs him.

“What?” Zitao splutters. “But you always go out to have drinks with us when I ask you.”

“Exactly,” Sehun reiterates. “Because you ask me.”

Sehun smiles as Zitao’s eyes widen at this sudden revelation. There’s really no other reason for Sehun to continue saying yes to Zitao other than an interest that he didn’t know was actually there.

Zitao then nods and stands up. As they walk out of the office, he stops walking and faces Sehun.

“What happened during the reunion?” Zitao asks him curiously. “Did you and Luhan fix things?”

Sehun smiles at him. “Yes,” he sincerely answers. “I fixed it.”

Luhan is a story of different time, one that has passed so vividly right before his eyes. Someday, he’ll tell Zitao that story.

But right now, it’s time to write a new one.

END.



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Author's Notes:
1. Yes, the title is shamelessly from that All Time Low song (I keep thinking about One Direction omg). I've wanted to write a boarding school au for some time now and when I heard this lyric, a story just popped into my head.
2. I'm sorry for killing Luhan and for making Sehun and everyone else cry. :(
3. So. They probably really wouldn't be able to carry that statue in real life, but let's all pretend for this fic's sake that they're super strong. Or that the statue wasn't really that heavy. LOL.
4. I've fallen in love with TaoHun while writing this.
5. Comments/suggestions/violent reactions are welcome but not required. I hope you liked this. :D