I took off my pair of red sneakers, burying my feet deep into the sands as I hesitantly walked towards the waves late that day. I stood close to the edge, staring at the waves moved in its constant directions. There are several times when I envied the relationship between the beach and the waves. Regardless the distance the waves travel, it will always find its way back to the same beach.

One separation that will not last forever.

A temporary heartache.

The waves constantly moved and reached where I buried my feet in the sands, drenching the bottom of the jeans I wore. It continuously waved in right through me, but I didn't make a move even an inch. Why would I bother when I were already drenched in the rain? I stood there as if I welcomed the waves—as if I welcomed an old friend. I could never see him again in reality, so why would I miss the chance to feel his presence even just through the waves.

There are many times when I miss him, too much—it starts to hurt.

Like a permanent heartache.

Thanks to Cinderella and other fairy-tales that I only knew its existences ten years ago, I truly believed that every love story has its happy ending. Cinderella eventually meets her Prince Charming and lives happily ever after. But we are not Cinderella or any other princesses in fairy-tales. Reality are the world where people get hurt most of the time. Happy endings don't exist. If it does, no one will suffer heartbreaks.

When the heartache faded, I slowly closed my eyes and took several steps forward. I inhaled deeply when I felt the waves moved in between my calves. When I finally opened my eyes, I noticed how far I have traveled. In several more steps, I could have the waves reached my waist. I could have submerge completely.

“Hyeyoung!”

I instantly stopped.

“What are you trying to do?”

I could hear the calm sound of the waves broke into millions of shattered movements. A pair of strong hands grabbed me tightly by the waist and pulled me back. I silently muttered a curse under my breath. I pulled myself out from the hold and turned around. There he was, standing inches away from me as he stared deep into my eyes, seeking for answers.

A pretty boy who painfully brought back my heartache.

“Are you crazy?”

He tightly held onto my shoulders, shaking me violently to wake me up from my world of imagination. Both of us were breathing heavily, inhaling and exhaling the same air that smelled off nothing but like a fish. Like a reflex, he suddenly pulled me into his embrace. He wrapped his arms around me—warm and comfortable, like going back to a place where I truly belonged.

When reality hit me hard again, I pushed him away as gently as I could and kept a great distant between us. The waves continued to move in its own independent directions in between our feet. We were both wet and cold—but we were mostly just confused.

“This is not what you think it is!”

He seemed to be quite relieved, the tension in his expression disappeared almost instantly. “Then what are you trying to do then?”

“Why do you even care?” I stared at him and it immediately reminded me of him and the heartache. “Tell me why do you even give a damn on what I am doing?” It seemed like my voice echoed throughout the beach, breaking the calm sound of the waves and the dusk that was approaching.

“Hyeyoung,”

“Stop calling for my name.” I bluntly replied, like sending a kind of unexpected shock to him. He stood there silently, staring me as I slowly gaining back my insanity. He hesitantly approached me and when I stepped backward, he quickly grabbed my right hand and squeezed it tightly against his warm hand. He stared into my eyes deep enough to feel as if he was ready to strip me off my secrets.

“If you won't let me save you anymore, at least let me protect you from this rain.”

I was completely stunned. I could feel the roughness of the back of his hand rubbing onto my palm, a quick remedy to the pain that started to appear. Not only does that guy reminded me of my first heartbreak, he awfully reminded me of his presence too. A carbon copy. A duplicate. An unexplainable mistake. I closed my eyes and returned my self back to the same moment—ten years ago.

I desperately believed that he is my first love.

But that is impossible.

My first love died, ten years ago.