She didn't want to live like this. She couldn't really help it. Even before he came into her life she wasn't far off from this kind of living. Seungmi always was a quiet girl; she knew what happiness was, what sadness was. She wasn't naïve. Seungmi knew all the dangers of life but what it could offer her also. But when he left, she only knew of sadness and pain. 

No one wanted to be around her anymore. It was as if she was a living ball of death. So much pain in one person could only result in something so sad and lonely.  The teachers at school never bothered with her much before so it wasn't a hard shift. Seungmi used to participate occasionally. Answering a question here and there or offering to help pass out papers. Now, she just sat there in the corner of the room and watched. Her old friends had tried and failed to get her to enjoy life again. They would happily drag her to the mall or movies, yet only to have the atmosphere darken. Eventually, they all gave up and moved on, too.

It was fine with her. None of that mattered. She only wanted one thing in life and that was to end it for her. Seungmi saw absolutely no point in living anymore. The only person she loved had left. The only reason she kept living was to fulfill his last promise.

Beep... Beep...

The buzzing of the machine was slowing.

Seungmi stood there beside the bed as the hectic yells and rustling of feet from the doctors and nurses surrounded her. She only heard the beeps though. The beeps and his even now melodic voice.

"Seungmi," He called out weakly,"I want you to promise me," He paused to endure a fit of coughing, blood came out but she waited silently,"If I die now, you have to remain strong. Keep living, okay? I want you to know.."

She would never hear his next words. Whether it was because he never had the chance to say them or because the doctors finally couldn't tolerate her anymore and pushed her out of the room, it didn't matter. He was gone. Seungmi knew that before any of the doctors. She knew it the moment she set a step into the hospital that morning. So she had never left his side that entire day until they made her. 

When the doctors exited the room and went to look for her, she was already gone. Not physically, but emotionally and mentally. When the doctors came and delivered the news, she didn't hear them. She could only understand seven words at that point.

I want to die.

I want to die.

I want to die.

But I can't.

Today was another empty-filled day.

Seungmi woke up with the same dull look in her eyes. Well, there really wasn't ever a look in her eyes to begin with. After she did the motions of a regular morning routine, she headed out for school. Despite having no will to live, she still did fairly well in school. She was always a smart student, even without effort. The only reason she bothered to keep displaying her intelligence was for him. He wouldn't want her to flunk out of school, so passing important assessments was a nice enough compromise.

Seungmi went and sat in her usual seat. She listened half-heartedly throughout the day as always. Of course Seungmi didn't pay much attention to the new student that was introducing himself. 

"Hello, my name is Kim Myungsoo. Please treat me well!" He recited with a small smile on his face. The more popular girls in the class looked him over as he bowed and smirked with interest; everyone else--excluding Seungmi--simply smiled back. As Myungsoo's eyes wandered around the classroom quickly to find a seat and scan his classmates, the stares from a select few of girls already making him uncomfortable, he only found one next to Seungmi. Without an ill thought, Myungsoo started walking towards it. 

Eyes followed him as he made his way to the desk. All of a sudden, there was a quiet yelp and a girl came up behind him quickly with a rather disheveled and scared appearance and tapped him on the shoulder. Myungsoo turned around innocently and his eyes widened in surprise.

"Myungsoo, you can sit there! It's a free seat." The girl gestured to the seat she was just sitting in. It seemed as if the queen bees had made her trade places with him. He offered her a grateful smile before replying.

"No, it's okay. I have very good vision so I'll be able to see from back here. Thank you for looking out for me." He turned her down politely, and before she could keep insisting, Myungsoo situated himself in his new desk. The girl hesitantly returned to her seat and received a glare from the girl next to her. Myungsoo had already decided he wanted nothing to do with those kind of people.

Instead of paying attention to the self-righteous girls, he decided to pay attention to the teacher as to not give off a bad impression. Halfway through the lecture on how Mesopotamia and early India were alike, his eyes caught sight of the girl sitting next to him. Myungsoo was taken by surprise by how she sat there; Seungmi was staring straight ahead with her hands folded in her lap. She was like a stiff doll, badly in need of oil or whatever to get her moving again. His eyes lingered on her longer then they had the right to, but it seemed as if she didn't mind or didn't even notice, before forcing himself to return to the front of the classroom.

During lunch break, Myungsoo saw Seungmi walk out of the classroom almost robotically. He wanted to follow after her out of curiosity but the teacher ordered him to stay behind for a talk about orientation; the try-hard girls didn't help much either. When Myungsoo finally got to the cafeteria, he couldn't find her anywhere. Disappointed, he sat down at a table by himself; it wasn't long until others joined him though. He soon forgot about Seungmi and enjoyed lunch with his new friends.

Seungmi always spent lunch breaks in the school garden. She sits in a far corner, using the variety of plants and flowers to hide herself away. Every day at this time, she could escape from the shell of a life she lived. Here, she could think of him without any disturbances. No one would judge her for how she acted. Seungmi could cry all she wanted.

But today was a good day. Her mind wanted to let her think of happy times. Seungmi always ended up crying anyway; she knew she would never get to live memories like those again. No more going to the park or watching movies late at night with him. Seungmi constantly reminded herself of who she used to be and why she wanted to die now. Time to her didn't heal, it hurt.

Off in the distance, she heard the bell sound off. Seungmi got to her feet and started her walk back to the classroom. Once she got there, Seungmi sat down in her usual seat in her normal position. 

Myungsoo arrived after her. He had made new friends and wanted to joke around with them before he had to go back to class and learn. When the final warning bell rang they all left him for their own classes except a few boys, Sungyeol and Dongwoo, who had the same class. He entered the classroom and forgot all about that mysterious girl to his left.

When the final bell of the day rang, everyone hurried to leave the building. Seungmi stayed still until every last person was gone from her sight, including the teacher. Today really was a good day; the teacher had left almost immediately, usually he took half an hour to leave because he either couldn't handle Seungmi's presence or his work was finished. 

She waited for three minutes before turning her head to look out the window. Afterwards, Seungmi slid out of her chair and packed up her things deliberately slow. She moved as if she were neck deep in muddy water. Once that was finished, Seungmi left the classroom and headed for the bike rack. She unchained her bike and rode it home.