Uhh...that's not right.

 

Quickly, I tried to tie the silky pink ribbon behind me, but with no success. Every time it was just too loose or too tight, making the white dress I wore inadequate to the event that would occur just next door. I looked around; no one, just the beautiful white walls with rose pink flowery accents that encompassed me. And suddenly, in contrast to my body that was heating up under the dress and bright lights, I felt cold arms wrap around my waist from behind. I gasped. Looking into the mirror in front of me, I saw her. She smiled at me, her cheeks lifting as her dark brown eyes grew into slits. Though they were usually filled with the utmost of jubilance, I couldn't help but think she looked sad. "Now," she said in a matter-of-fact tone. "Let me help you." She tied the ribbon, knotting and looping several times, her fingers occasionally touching the small of my back. She then turned me around to face her soft, blemish-less curves of her chin.

 

"Haha, you really need to grow Tae Tae." She giggled, patting my head, but not as to ruin my blonde dyed hair. Nonetheless, I puffed my cheeks, poking her. "Meanie." She yelled playfully, "You're the meanie! You know, it hurts if you poke there. Well, I guess you wouldn't know because you barely have any." Then...I realized where I poked her. Her chest. I reddened. "Aish Tae Tae, you're so cute." She squealed, hugging me tightly, causing me to fall into her partly showing s, her white flowing dress being low cut. "And I DO like your small chest of yours! Don't let anyone tell you different!" I could feel my cheeks grow an infinite hotter. "Geez Tae, you know I'm just teasing! Stop getting all shy and embarrassed, it's too adorable!" Then I heard the slam of the door.

 

"Tiffany! Come on darling! Everyone's waiting!" A deep and elated voice called out from behind the both of us.

 

"Coming father! Tae Tae, I'll see you later!" She kissed the top of my forehead, bunched up her long white gown, and ran to her dad.

 

Seeing her leave, my shoulders immediately lowered, as if on their own. I missed her so much. So much.

 

"Taeyeon! Hurry and line up with the other ladies! Remember, you're first bridesmaid so you're in front."

 

Shaken out of my trance, I quickly fixed myself in the large Snow White like mirror. "I'm going Michelle unnie." I ran quickly to the door, slowing down only when I saw the large excited audience sitting on the benches. Grabbing my bouquet of flowers, I took my place ahead of the ladies.

 

I grasped the multicolored roses hard, so much so that I felt a thorn enter my palm, but I paid no mind as I looked longingly at the closed wooden doors. I felt happy....but somewhere deep inside was despair. Why? Tiffany was getting married to the wonderful Siwon! Why wouldn't I be happy? Why wouldn't I rejoice? I didn't know. I didn't know.....

 

Closing my eyes for just a few seconds, I recalled all the memories of Tiffany and I.

 

---------------------------------------------

 

7 years ago....

 

Breathing in the fresh air, I sighed in satisfaction. This beats a day at school any day. I gazed at all the classmates around me. Those I did and those I didn't know mixed together to make a huge mass of teenagers. At the old pavilion, an open hut with a wearing green metal roof, there lay food, cotton candy, popcorn, ice cones, and tanks of water. The DJ played the 'popular' music, songs that I didn't have much taste in. Surrounding this medium sized hut was the volleyball, races, football, hula-hoops, and even frisbee.

 

Everyone was having fun. Everyone was enjoying himself or herself...but me.

 

 

Trying to join my 'friends,' I followed them like a duckling following its mother. But they weren't so caring and protective like mothers. They didn't give me a second glance as they grouped up, making a loud ruckus as they headed to wherever they desired. Eventually, I decided to stop this, I sat alone on a broken parking block, staring at the people running and going on their way to spend the most of a school day outside of its educational boundaries we were usually surrounded by.

 

Wearing a expressionless face as I made my knee and tiny island and my two fingers a walking person, I felt a tap on my shoulders. “Hmm?” I voiced, looking up, quickly ing out my arm to block the bright sun from my eyes. Instead of responding to my questioning sound, she went around me and sat on the parking block as well. Hugging her knees playfully, she looked in my eyes and smiled, a brilliant heart-warming smile that left me feeling extremely awkward sitting next to her. Tiffany Hwang, Hwang Miyoung, Ms. Popular, whatever name you wanted to call her. She looked at me. “Hey Tae, you looked lonely.” Feeling even hotter under her gaze, I looked away, at the tree that stood several yards ahead of us. “I’m not lonely.” I replied, kicking at the pebbles near my bent legs. “Your face says different.” I felt the tips of fingernails graze my chin, willing me to turn and look at her. I came to view the dark brown, absorbing eyes of a girl that I didn’t think I’d ever speak or talk to. “Come.” Was the word she said to me as she helped me up, standing up first before holding out her arm for me to grasp.

 

I thought twice. Was this another trick that I’d always fall for? Will she pull back her hand in the last second or pull me forward so much that I’ll fall back down? “Come on.” She insisted. Hesitantly, I held onto it, softly but firmly enough to stand on my two feet. However, instead of falling on my face, I fell into her chest and gasped as I breathed in a good lung full of sweet fruit smelling lotion. She seemed unfazed by it, so I faked normalcy and following her, leading both of us to a segregated place; an empty sandy volleyball court near a grassy pond. Sitting down again we stared at the transparent water. “Look Tae!” Tiffany pointed. I followed it to see tiny fish darting into the stalks of grass and out. Unable to think of a reply, I nodded, smiling slightly as I stared into the tranquil waters.

 

As a child, it’s been a habit of me falling asleep in hot temperatures, and I barely noticed my head bending onto one side, falling on Tiffany’s shoulder. Immediately, my eyes bolted open and I sat erect. A tiny giggle was heard as I looked down. What an addicting sound it was. It was like the bright beams of a lighthouse to the lost ship. It was the lone candle in the pitch, black darkness.

 

Together, we stayed like that, both staring out into the distance ahead of us when…I felt like we actually wanted to look at something else; each other. I didn’t realize when but eventually, inevitably, our hands intertwined and a felt a small, embarrassed smile reach my lips. And I never wanted this sensation to end.

 

--------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

5 years ago…

 

A loud bell resounded in my ears as I looked up wearily from my science textbook.

 

Must've fallen asleep.

 

Blinking several times, I gazed up at the clock.

 

Lunchtime.

 

I sighed deeply.

 

Was I an idiot? How could I not notice the classmates scattering around and heading out the door?

 

Finally, all the uniformed teens left, leaving me alone, my chin inside my book.

 

“Hurry up and go Taeyeon-ssi. Stop dawdling around and go eat lunch.” The teacher instructed, not even looking up as she erased the board.

 

“Yes Miss.” I said quickly, grabbing my poor excuse of a lunch and exited the room. Wondering where to go, I walked down the stairs and went outside, meeting the warm fresh air. It was the first few weeks of school and I had yet to find people that tolerated me. All the shady spots were taking by large groups of students and I’d rather not just come strumming in and sit down beside them, knowing that they’d probably give me weird looks. I had ruined their “peace,” their “normalcy.” Turning around in a small circle, I found the shadow of one of the unoccupied buildings. Happily, I took walked over and leaned against the red brick wall. I sighed while I stretched out my legs.

 

I really should exercise. Simple things are really wearing me down these days.

 

And it was as if out of nowhere. Lifting up my head to locate where this mysterious sound came from, it was Tiffany. She smiled sweetly at me, as if we were more than acquaintances,  more than just classmates and bus buddies. “Mind if I sit here?” She gestured to the long empty space beside me. As if it was mine to say no to. “U-uh…su-sure…” I mumbled.

 

Why did I say it like that Taeyeon? What’s wrong with me? Geez…

 

It may have been the fact that she was the President of Student Council, or the renowned ‘Princess’ of our grade, of our school. It may have been the fact that she could easily have been eating lunch with someone else, with someone popular and more deserving of her presence. Maybe that was why I felt my heart do tiny little pitter patters that made my fingers tremble.

 

We ate in silence and it seemed like an awkward time for me but it looked as if she was enjoying it. “Tae, is that all you have for lunch?” My head already bent as I leaned on the wall, I met her gaze and followed it to my hand, which carried a granola bar. “Uh..yeah” I practically whispered.

 

Why am I acting like this?

 

“That’s not healthy you know!” Voicing out her opinion. I was only able to shrug when I felt something enter my mouth. I gasped, causing me to almost choke on the grilled piece of chicken. “Chew and swallow Tae! Don’t play with your food now!” She laughed, feeding me another piece using her chopsticks.

 

These touched . These entered her lips….

 

“More?” Tiffany inquired, tilting her head in a questioning look. Her lips pouted out and I giggled embarrassedly. Slowly, I nodded and she began to chuckle with me, feeding me another piece of meat. Concentrating on my mouth, she didn’t see me staring at her, at her mesmerizing dark brown eyes. She is such a beautiful caring person.

 

 

3 years ago…

 

Cracking my eyes open, I groaned as the bright light of the sun came into my eyes. I covered my head with my arms and turned the other way.  That’s when I felt a hand on my shoulder, slowly but constantly shaking me. “Come on Tae! It’s already the afternoon! You sleep more than Jessica!” At the mention of a name I didn’t know, I stared at her weirdly. “Who’s she?” “My unnie.” Tiffany replied, a small smile on her face as she stopped her pushing pulling movement and sat on the side of my bed. “Nice respect you have for your elders.” I murmured, turning so my face was in my pillow. I smelled her scent.

 

Hm…why was that? Holy-

 

This is her bed!

 

Jumping out, I landed on my bottom, falling hard on the dark wooden floor.

 

“Haha! You’re so silly!” She laughed, clapping her hands as she let out melodious sounds.

 

Red from God knows what, I pushed myself up, rushing to the bathroom to put out the flames that I felt sprawled all over my face. I breathed in and out as I  felt the cold water fall down in streaks, entering my white tee.

 

“Tae! Let’s go to the mall! Pick whatever from my closet. I’ll be waiting down the stairs!” She called out. The old bed springs creaked as she got up. But before she could leave the room, I popped my head out of the bathroom. “But…I don’t have any…undergarments.” I blushed, as she made a y smile. “Just use mine, for the ‘lower’ part. They’re in the drawer. And..for these..” She snapped her own bra, causing me to squirm in her gaze. I listened intensely to what she was going to say. “Wear a really tight shirt under what you’ll wear.” She winked at me before leaving.

 

Oh, how she confuses me…

 

Quickly, I slipped on one of Tif’s clean (oh god, all of them…pink I swear), trying to not think of the places it’s been. Pulling a tight shirt over my head, I slipped into purple jeans and a white polo shirt.

 

Running down the stairs she had brown sandals already waiting to me. “This goes with anything you wear.” She shrugged as I questioned how she knew they’d match with my outfit. “Come on, let’s go. We need to buy clothes for you’re lonely self. Or you’re never getting a boyfriend.” Dragging me into her red convertible (unfortunately, it didn’t come in pink), she pushed me into the passenger seat. “No! Tif I thought if was for you!” I reasoned. “No way, you are coming with me and that’s final.” I was helpless as we backed off the driveway. Leaning on the car window, I watched other cars and people flash by. I almost didn’t realize Tif’s hand that went down to hold mine. I audibly gasped, turning to my left to see Tiff wink at me before she paid all attention to the road once again. I felt weak and I was shaking but I decided not to take my hand away from her.

 

All friends do this Tae. Don’t think weird of it.

 

Calming myself, I looked straight ahead, seeing a huge mall come into view.

 

(-In Mall-)

 

“This’ll look so cute on you Taengoo!!” She exclaimed, brightly smiling at me. I returned a half-hearted one, not liking it one bit. “You don’t even let me pick what I want!” I whined as I stared disgustingly at the arm full of clothes she had. “Well, it’s because you don’t have any sense of fashion. Don’t worry, with my help, you’ll get noticed soon enough, my fail of an unnie.” Giggling at my indignance, she continued to  search for 'good' clothes. As I pouted and whined, I was suddenly knocked off my feet. I fell onto the dark gray carpet. "Owwie," I said looking up to see a man I did not know. "Mianhe...no..uh...s-sorry." The man apologized with a heavy Korean accent. "You okay Tae?" I felt Tif grab me by the underarms, of which I blushed profusely, and picked me up. "Soo-rrrry" The handsome man uttered once again.

 

He sported a long sleeved white button-up with black streams attached down the collar. The bottom tips led to a pair of blue jeans, fashioned and cut at the knees. His face was cleanly shaven and he had his hair, black and stalky with piercing dark eyes. It was a lie to say he wasn't worth a second glance but....he wasn't my 'type' I suppose. "Korean?" Tiff asked him. He nodded and then they were off on a conversation I didn't understand. I frowned. As a child who came to the US when I was 3, I wasn't able to catch the language, as where Tiffany excelled in foreign languages as well as all the other school subjects, she proudly labeled herself multilingual. "What's your name?" Tiffany asked, or I assumed as the man answered, "Siwon. Choi Siwon" with a white toothy smile. She giggled and began to introduce herself and me.

 

But I couldn't help but think...Was it just me...? Or did I feel like I was being put back? That I was being forgotten? And anxiety filled me. It filled my soul and at that time, I didn't know why. As much as felt lonely in the past, as much as I felt like everyone was ahead of me, leaving me in his or her shadow, Tiffany...she never forgot me....until now.

 

Looking back, it was an instantaneous attraction. Whether they wanted it or not, as soon as they looked into each other's eyes, they both fell hard. As cliché as that sounds, they did.

 

It took me a while for the realization hit me. Sitting in bed, staring up at the ceiling, I sighed. Was there nothing good to do in life? Was there nothing to live for? Would anyone remember me? Would anyone even notice if I was gone? Probably not. I'm a nobody. I'm nothing. Not pretty, not smart, and not fairly good at anything I did. What's the point? To try when you're just going to be kicked down? Why don't just kill my-

 

...

 

I shivered at the thought. A weird anxiety filled me again and for an unknown reason, my eyes brimmed with tears.

 

Tiff....I'll call Tif....

 

Rushing to the phone, I nervously picked it up as I wondered how to explain. How to describe this loneliness, this edgy feeling I'm feeling, that I have been feeling for so long.

 

...

 

I shouldn't have even bothered...

 

Holding the phone against my ear, I closed my eyes and waited...

 

"Please leave a message for 369-..."

 

I dropped it immediately and heard my cellphone crash to the hard wooden floor.

 

Why would I have thought she would answer?

 

It's been months since we talked, the last being when...we went to that mall. She..should always call me, she would always hang out with me. Did she stop because I was a lost cause? That I was just too negative or just too...imperfect?

 

And finally they flowed easily down my face. Tears.

 

I...I made her leave didn't I?

 

I hit my head purposely on the wall. Then I collapsed on the floor, hugging my knees at the realization that...I caused my only true friend to leave.

 

-------------------------------------------------

 

A year ago...

 

I've got a consistent job. Finally. Maybe my quietness ate and nipped at their toes. Maybe my silence stabbed at them like knives to human flesh.

 

But I didn't care one bit. I just needed money. Money to pay for that damned old apartment that I have to live in now because my parents got sick of me. They got sick of supporting me. They got sick of me moping around at home like every day was a struggle. Which it was. Which it IS.

 

Panting, I entered the front door of my apartment and slammed it close. Those pit bulls...will eat me for dinner one day. I sighed as I locked it and heard the loud scratching and barking, as well as a murmured "sorry" leave, and it was silent once again.

 

I grabbed a can of mango juice and sat in my bed, it being the only place for sitting area, which doubled as the sleeping area too. Gulping it, not caring to savor the taste as any normal person would do, I finished the drink, and threw the can across the room, aiming for the trashcan, for which I missed. "I'll get it later." I said to myself, slipping out of my shoes and uniform, leaving me in a white tee and my . As I slipped into the worn thick covers, a blast of music erupted from my crappy flip phone.

 

Who the hell is calling me on a winter night at freaking 9pm?

 

"Uhhhhhhh" I audibly groaned as I swung my arm across the bednight table. Not bothering to look at the caller ID, I flipped the cover open and answered.

 

"Hello?" I said, trying to put on the most aggravated voice as possible. Who knows, maybe they'll hang up.

 

I didn't expect for it to be her.... I really didn't.

 

"Tae Tae?" I heard a beautiful, healthy young woman.

 

Was this..who I thought it was?

 

"T-Ti-"

 

"It's Tiffany, Taengoo." She replied. I could hear her breathe out, making me blush at some random y thought.

 

"Oh..y-yea..I thought it was you.." I was able to stutter out.

 

Silence now, eating the flowing emotions, I felt at that moment until awkwardness took over. Scratching the back of my head I asked, "So..how are you? It's been forever haha." I ended with a half-hearted laugh. "Do you wanna hang out tonight? Go to the movies?" Tiffany inquired, ignoring my question.

 

I was shocked. Does that...does that still mean that..we're friends?

 

"O-oh...s-sure Tippany." I mumbled into the phone.

 

She laughed quietly. Apparently the times I've never cared for pronunciation has caught up to me..

 

"Yah! You meanie!" I whined, trying to slip on a sweatshirt without putting my phone down.

 

"You're the meanie! Leaving me outside in the cold! Hurry up and open the door! It's freezing!" She exclaimed.

 

Then I heard a knock at the door.

 

How did she know-

 

"Taengoo~" Hearing my nickname roll off her tongue, all was forgotten and I ran to the door, actually slamming into it before opening it.

 

"Are you okay Tae?" She asked after entering, taking off her snowed-on cap.

 

She truly hadn't changed. Just maybe the color of her hair and the growth of...*cough cough... some assets but other than that, nothing. Her eyes showed a deep concern as I closed the door behind her, not wanting any more cold air to enter.

 

"Yea, I'm fine just banged my knee and-" As I gestured to my patella I noticed something very important...I had no shorts on.

 

Redness reached my cheeks quickly as I ran out her view and entered a mini 3 by 3 feet closet. I closed the door behind me, leaving me in complete darkness.

 

"J-just give me a minute." I called, blindly searching for any denim material.

 

Finally grabbing something I slipped it on and came crashing out. But instead of falling to the floor, warm arms encased me, holding me up. "You're really clumsy you know? I hope you've taken better care of yourself than how I see now." I didn't want to lie but...life has been pretty crappy. Life..continually kicks my and never forgets to add that last breaking-bone punch. "I've had. Don't worry about it. And..just forget what you saw, will you?" "Haha, sure." She smiled, a warming grin that closed her eyes and widened with perfectly shaped and whitened teeth that seemed to make me feel even hotter.

 

Tiffany offered her arm and I took it, not forgetting to snatch a thick black jacket off the table as we headed out the door.

 

(-In the Movie-)

 

"Pany...what are we watching?" I looked incredulously at her, my hands digging into the chair's armrests. “Hmm...’The Crazies’” She replied nonchalantly, popping some popcorn into . “It’s a horror movie. I’ve watched so many romance and comedies recently, I need something at least a bit frightening.” My eyes widened. I’ve been known for not being able to take scary movies. Cowering in my seat, I folded my arms tightly, hugging myself as the movie started.

 

(-An Hour Later-)

 

Honestly, I felt like crying. I pulled my knees to my chest as I watched, eyes glued to the big screen showing a diseased policeman enter the tent. My eyes began to water and I looked to the side to see Tiffany watching intently, being unfazed as I turned to see a pitchfork entering a blonde woman’s stomach.

 

“Pany….” I whined, looking at her. “What is it?” She asked, not bothering to look at me.

 

At of the corner of my eye I saw some girls escape and I cried in horror as I saw the officer pick up an axe, throwing it at a girl several feet away.

 

I lifted the armrest. Hesitantly, I neared her, not sure what her reaction would be. But as soon as I saw the crazy policeman rip out the axe from a woman’s back, I fell onto her. “Pany, I don’t want to watch anymore.” I cried, turning my head away from the screen and buried my face into her neck. And hearing those wretched high pitched screams amplified my fear that I hugged her, arms around her neck. “Aww…Tae Tae there’s nothing to be afraid of.” I felt her twirl with my hair as I heard the screams subside to mere whimpers. “You wanna leave now?” I shook my head. “Can I just…stay like this…?” I mumbled into her nape. I felt her nod and soon after, I began to relax. I didn’t notice that I was sitting on her lap and although I was flushed (thank god it was dark), she didn’t seem to mind.

 

Slowly, I began to turn around and was met with screaming young men and women tied up to operation tables. Whimpering, I lay my head on her chest, trying to calm myself as I closed my eyes. "It's just a movie... It's just a movie." I chanted it repeatedly. After a while, I felt my words begin to jumble. I felt my quick breathing start to slower. I felt my eyes begin to droop.

 

I fell asleep.

 

(-An Hour Later-)

 

"Tae, sweetie, wake up." Heard as I was still deep in my slumber, I opened my eyes, blinking. "It's over. I'll take you home." She whispered, pulling me up to my feet and placing a secure arm around my waist as I sleepily walked.

 

Met with the freezing air, we huddled close, walking the block to my apartment.

 

No one spoke for a while and only my short intakes of breaths were heard.

 

“Tae?”

 

In that instant, I felt a bit nauseous. It was there again, when I always thought it would be gone, there it was, taunting me. It was hanging on by a thinning thread, ready to climb onto it and ruin me. Anxiety that almost hurt my insides, and even though I had not a clue what she would say, just thinking about it pained me deeply.

 

“Y-yes?” I was able to choke out of my drying throat.

 

“I wanted to have this mini date with you because you’re precious to me.”

 

I felt my heart flutter.

 

Is it possible? Maybe..maybe she’ll never leave me agai-

 

“That’s why I wanted to hang out with you tonight. I probably won’t be able to see you much anymore. Because Siwon asked me to marry him. And I said yes. And we’re going to spend a year in Korea before we get married here.”

 

My mouth dried and my insides closed down. It took me all the strength I could to not just fall to my knees. She gave me false hope. She gave me a false sense of security and warmth. I thought Tiff wanted to..reconcile our mends. I guess I was wrong.

 

“Oh…haha I’m happy for you.” I gave her a fake smile; one I learned how to do working as a bartender a few jobs back.

 

 “Thank you!” She smiled.

 

Again, silence. Silence that I would never be able to replace with any elated thoughts.

 

We finally reached my apartment. My crappy, one room apartment.

 

“Tonight’s the last day here in the U.S. Tae. The next time I’ll see you is our wedding.” She winked at me, kissing me softly on the forehead before leaving, not once turning back.

 

I was left dumbstruck.

 

Her actions confused me, but I confused myself even more.

 

I didn’t love her did I? We’re just acquaintances after all. But…every time I see her, every time I hear her magnificent voice, it fills me with joy. Well, it doesn’t matter anyway. She’s in love with that good-looking Korean guy. No chance whatsoever.

 

I entered my apartment with a cold body, freezing from the below zero temperatures and from Tiffany’s departure.

-----------------------------------------------------------

 

Now…

 

I opened my eyes as the chorus begins to sing and the pianist starts to play. I saw her. A white veil covered her face and her red flaming hair that was tied into a complicated braid that propped it up, keeping control of the fiery ember. Her long flowing gown that trailed behind her like a parade of celestial angels followed her, as if she was a goddess from heaven. Carrying a bouquet, mixed with red, pink, and white flowers wrapped into some crinkling paper, Tiffany saw a single petal drop but she paid it no mind as she walked up the red carpeted altar to her soon-to-be husband, Siwon.

 

The veil being lifted, I saw her look at him with smiling eyes.

 

She did this..to torture me…

 

  “Do you Siwon, take Tiffany as your lawfully wedded wife, to have and to hold, for better or for worse, in sick and in health?” The priest asked, his body turned toward the man in a silky white suit, his black hair gelled upwards and his face cleanly shaven...exactly like that day at the mall 3 years ago.

 

“I do.” He replied, the words rolling off his tongue as if he waited all his life to say them.

 

I…I can’t watch anymore..

 

“And do you Tiffany, take Siwon as your lawfully wedded husband, to love and cherish as long as you both shall live?”

 

Looking down at my feet, I strained not to hear her accepting words.

 

I..I love her…No matter how many times I tried to avoid this fact, I can’t anymore..I just can’t. But it would be selfish... selfish to think that both of us could be...Tiffany…I hope you live happily forever with your beloved…

 

Tears began to stream down my face and I almost stop breathing as I heard the words she uttered.

 

“I’m sorry…Siwon, I can’t…”

 

Along with me, the audience gasped and I could see Tiffany’s father stand up from his chair.

 

“I’m…in love with someone else.” She gave an uneasy look at the man and she began to back away.

 

“Wait, Tiffany. Baby, we can work this out.”

 

She shook her head slowly.

 

“I’m sorry Siwon. I’m truly sorry.”

 

And she did another unexpected thing.

 

She grabbed my hand and bunched her dress in the other and ran out the big wooden doors of the cathedral. I lost the grip of the flowers I held, and ran with her, almost tripping several times. After a while we reached a garden and passing it, there was a mossy bench that she pulled me to sit on.

 

I watched her, breathing a bit hard as I still felt, saw tears glistening in my eyes.

 

“Ti..Tiffany, why did you-“ I begun to ask but was interrupted.

 

“Taeyeon, I’m sorry for being stupid.”

 

“I..I don’t know what you’re saying.”

 

She neared me then, her face coming so close to mine that the tips of our nose began to touch. Looking me in the eye, she breathed in sharply before speaking once again. “I thought…that my feelings for you were of a friend, that these were just minor emotions compared to mine of Siwon. And…it took me years to find out, it took being more than a million miles away from you, to realize it..” I began to cry again, her face becoming a blur. “To realize…that I’ve fallen in love with you. And I don’t want to make another mistake. I want to spend the rest of my life with you.”

 

I couldn’t find the words to say anything. Part of me wanted to collapse into her arms and accept her love, but another part, a larger part of me, wanted to say no, not wanting to get hurt again, in all these years that we’ve known each other.

 

Instead, I stayed silent as she stared at me for a reply.

 

She firmly grabbed at my shoulders but she realized it wouldn’t work.

 

I felt the fight in her disappear as I wiped my tears and saw her shoulders visibly droop.

Sighing deeply, she stood up and began to walk away from me, her bare shoulders facing away as they headed out of the garden. And seeing that, my heart seemed to shatter. Knowing that she was going to marry someone else, love someone else, hurt and made a permanent scar on my beating chest. But seeing her give up on me, leaving me, it made a gouge, a deep, unrepairable hole.

 

“You’ll hurt me again, Tiff.” I murmured, looking away, unable to keep staring at her abandoning me.

 

It was then that I felt arms encompass me, a chin on my shoulder.

 

“I’ll never hurt you again. I promise.” She laid a soft kiss on my neck, making me jump in surprise.

 

Tiffany turned me around to face her, and I gazed into her dark brown mesmerizing orbs.

 

“Because I love you. I’ll love you forever.”

 

Closing the space, she neared me, breathed on my lips before tilting her head and kissing me fully. Her arms wrapped around my waist as mine wrapped around her neck. Slowly, she laid me down on the bench, not taking her lips off mine for even a second.

 

“I’ve…always been here waiting for you.” I whispered as trailed to my neck.

 

“Then...” She said, stopping for a moment to look into my eyes. “Let me love you for all the time I missed.”

 

Tiffany kissed me again, and I couldn’t help but think of how far we’ve come. How long it took us to realize…

 

“I’m yours forever.”