Title: Superman
Author: sticky
Reviewer: daedreaming

Review:

♦ Title (3/5)

There are a lot of oneshots and fanfictions that are entitled like this. But it was eye catching, so I only docked 2 points.

♦Description/Foreword (15/15)

The description and foreword were well written. The description was short and simple, but it left me wondering why Luhan is the Powerpuff Girl and Superman. 

♦Plot (24/25)

I have yet to read a plot like this. It was the typical boy meets girl in school, but instead of falling deeply in love in the end, you made Yoona miss Luhan. It was not that original, but it's rarely used. And I have yet to ese someone use a Powerpuff Girl reference, so, good job. I docked one point because I have read a total of ONE fanfic like this.

♦Characterization (19/20)

I only docked one point because I didn't get Yoona's character. The only characteristics I grasped was that she was clumsy and not like every other fangirl who squeal at the sight of their oppa. I know it's a oneshot, but you could've developed Yoona's character better.

As for Luhan's character, he's the sweet and caring one. 

♦Flow (10/10)

Full marks since it wasn't too fast or too slow. Good job.

♦Grammar/Punctuation/Spelling (14/15)

Your punctuation and spelling is fine. Your grammar has a few mistakes, but none too major. 

Instead of:

He's good looking. He's smart. He's a teacher's favourite student.

You could’ve done this:

He’s good looking, smart, and a teacher’s favourite student.

Instead of using periods, you could’ve used commas. Since you were listing his qualities, it is right to use a comma to let the reader know his personality a bit without putting it to an abrupt stop. I think I can see where you’re going there with the periods. I’m guessing you would like the reader to read it in their mind and list off the qualities one by one, so that they can remember it, right? If not, then I’m sorry. Still, please use commas if you’re listing off something.

And instead of:

She's seen too many egoistic jocks in her sixteen years of living.

You could’ve done this:

She has seen too many egoistic jocks in her sixteen years of living.

She’s is the short way of saying “She is”. So seeing “She is” and then the past participle of “see” is a bit awkward.

she clucks his tongue at him.

Correct: she clucked her tongue at him

He's looks kind of different

Correct: He looks kind of different

Unless you went for this: His looks are kind of different

You also jumped from present tense to past tense a lot, so be careful.

♦Enjoyment (10/10)

I really enjoyed the story, and it left me craving for more. I really enjoyed it. It's well written, not boring, and you have a high level grasp on the English grammar. 

►Overall score = 95/100

Thank you so much for requesting at our shop! I hope you found are review helpful! Do your best always and keep in mind our advice. We're here to help you improve.

Thank you once again and please remember to credit the reviewer (daedreaming) and our shop!

WE OUTTIE~ (￣^￣)ゞ