"Jinki, let's break up." Jonghyun speaks softly to his soon-to-be ex-boyfriend.

"I'm not in mood for that kind of joke, Jjong." Jinki answers as he closes his Geography textbook and faces Jonghyun.

"I'm serious. I want a break up. We're not that compatible anymore. I think you've realized that too." He bites his lips afterwards.

"Jjong, look.." Jinki sighs and takes Jonghyun's hand. He pulls Jonghyun closer so that Jonghyun is sitting beside him.

"Where did I do wrong? I’ll make it up to you.."

Jonghyun looks down, staring at his lap while Jinki keeps holding his hand.

"You didn't do anything wrong. I just want to be friends with you; not more than that.." He takes a breath.

"I'm really grateful that I had you as my boyfriend. You're a really great guy. Thanks for everything you've done for me."

"Why?" Jinki's voice comes out a bit cracked. He really doesn't want this, not at all. 

"I realized where my heart truly belongs."


Jinki knows someday that this day would come. The day when Jonghyun is getting tired of him and wants to break up with him. Because from the beginning Jinki knows that Jonghyun still can't forget Kibum. Not that Kibum and Jonghyun were dating before, it was just one sided love, because it was clear that Kibum never showed any special feelings for Jonghyun. Even though Jonghyun clearly showed that he loved Kibum. But two years ago, even knowing that Jonghyun still loved Kibum, Jinki bravely confessed his feelings to Jonghyun and surprisingly Jonghyun said 'yes'.

~

Taemin was sitting on a bench on a park somewhere in Seoul after his school had ended at 4 p.m when Jinki suddenly came from behind.

"Tae, I know now!" Jinki shouted as he lightly smacked Taemin's shoulder, Jinki's face was full with a smile.

"Know about?" Taemin asked, eyes showing curiosity.

"I know the best way to get Jonghyun's heart."

"Really?"

"Yeah!" Jinki's smile widened and his eyes narrowed.

"Just be like Kibum." Jinki finished his sentence with a satisfied nod.

It wasn't a secret in their school that Jonghyun loved Kibum, but he never confessed because he knew that Kibum didn't love him the way he did. Jonghyun couldn't stand rejection, so he kept on being friends with Kibum, while keeping his feelings to himself. Jinki and Taemin were Kibum's friends, but Kibum didn't know about Jinki's crush on Jonghyun.

"Eh?" Taemin's face quickly changed.

"So you want to be like Kibum and leave your true self? Even Kibum is our friend, that's a big no-no, hyung."

"Then what? You know I love Jonghyun. Are you trying to stop me from.."

"No" Taemin quickly cut.

"That's not what I mean. If you know that Jonghyun likes Kibum, why are you trying this hard?"

"So you're saying that I'm hopeless?" Jinki furrowed his eyebrows, he didn't like what Taemin said.

"Aren’t best friends supposed to support everything that the other planned?" Jinki thought.

"Not hopeless, that's not what I mean. Just... Even if you finally got to date Jonghyun, his heart won't be completely yours. Maybe he can even easily leave you for Kibum someday."

In fact, Taemin wasn't being on Kibum's side or whatever, he just didn't want Jinki to feel the same thing he had felt. Taemin was once betrayed by his ex-boyfriend and that felt so painful. He didn't want his best friend feeling the same pain he did.

"People can change. I believe that if I got to date Jonghyun, he would gradually forget Kibum." Jinki insisted.

“What if he can’t forget Kibum?”

“He will.” Jinki answered sternly.

Taemin sighed. "Just do whatever you want, hyung.. But please, be careful so that you won't be like me when Minho left me last year."

"I won't. Besides, Kibum doesn't love Jonghyun. I still have lots of chances."


The next week Jinki announced that Jonghyun and he were dating. Kibum and Taemin congratulated him and Jinki felt like his world became more colorful. Jonghyun was a great boyfriend. He would comfort Jinki when he was having a hard time, he would always listen to Jinki's grumbling if he was complaining about school or work, he would always be Jinki's sanctuary if he cried, he would hug Jinki if he needed an encouragement. They were the perfect couple that everyone was jealous of. Taemin and Kibum were supportive of them too. As time went by, slowly everyone in their school forgot about Jonghyun and Kibum thingy. They knew Jonghyun was Jinki's at that time. Their relationship was stronger a year later, both of them entered the same university and they bought an apartment together; deciding to live under the same roof. Jinki was sure that Jonghyun had forgotten Kibum for him.

But now he knows that he was wrong.

~

It has been a week since the worst day of Jinki's life occurred. Jinki stays in Taemin's place and he hasn't contacted Kibum at all. Kibum goes to a different university from Jinki, Jonghyun, and Taemin. When Jinki came to Taemin the day he broke up with Jonghyun, Taemin was there for Jinki; comforting and helping him with everything. Jinki feels he is really lucky to have Taemin as a best friend.

To be honest, Jinki still loves Jonghyun exactly like before. His feelings never change because he knows if he tries too hard to forget Jonghyun, it just makes him crave for Jonghyun more. 2 years isn't a short period of time that a person could easily forget someone they used to love. Jinki hasn't met Jonghyun in that period of time. He still can't get over with the feeling of losing someone he really loves. But up until now, Jinki is still wondering the reason of their break up. He knows that because of someone that Jonghyun left him, but he doesn't know the exact reason for that and he wants to know why.


*****************************


It started 4 days before Jonghyun decided to leave Jinki.

Jonghyun and Kibum were often hanging out together without Jinki's acknowledgement since they entered the university. Jinki and Taemin were growing further apart from Kibum but not Jonghyun. The times Jonghyun and Jinki were in a relationship, deep down in his heart Jonghyun still wished that Kibum would love him, but it all started to fade little by little as he tried to love Jinki. Kibum sometimes asked Jonghyun to hang out with him, and Jonghyun knew if Jinki knew that his boyfriend went out with another man even though it was just for a walk, he would be so upset. And top of that, it's Kibum, the guy that Jonghyun couldn't get over, that would make Jinki more anxious. So, Jonghyun would always lie to Jinki if he wanted to go with Kibum. He didn't know that Jonghyun was lying to Jinki so he thought it was okay to hang out with Jonghyun often. They also shared many stories about their life, their university life, and lots of random things.

That day, Jonghyun was accompanying Kibum for his grocery shopping (because Kibum lived alone in a dorm and he said that he was running out of stocks) and when Kibum finished, he unexpectedly asked Jonghyun to stay with him a little longer because he said he felt lonely. Jonghyun gladly granted Kibum's wish. They went to Han River and sat on a certain spot that Kibum said had a special meaning for him.

They sat next to each other, talking and talking until suddenly, Kibum leaned his head on Jonghyun's shoulder. Kibum never did something like that before that made Jonghyun's heart speed up. He wasn't supposed to feel like that, but Jonghyun himself wasn't sure why he was like that.


"Do you know why I chose this spot?" Kibum asked Jonghyun.

"I don't know. Why?"

"Because this is the place where I realized my true feelings for someone." 

Jonghyun didn't answer for a moment.

"Who is it?" He slowly said. He wanted to know whom Kibum had gave his heart to, but there's a sad feeling attached to his words.

"You."

"Huh?" 

"I wish I could go back to high school when you still loved me." Kibum whispered, but loud enough for Jonghyun to hear it. Kibum felt Jonghyun's body stiffen for a second.

"Ki-Kibum?" Jonghyun breathed heavily. This was something that never ever crossed Jonghyun's mind.

"When I realized my feelings for you, it was already too late. You have Jinki now. But I just wanted you to know that I love you."

Two years were a long way in Jonghyun's life to try to forget Kibum and move on with Jinki but when Kibum said that, all of Jonghyun's memories with Kibum; his feelings that he had kept for a long time, suddenly burst out from his heart. He wished that he didn’t have Jinki at that time. His efforts on forgetting Kibum in those two years vanished with those three words from Kibum. There's a long silence between them before Jonghyun speaks. 

"I... I still love you Kibum." He didn't even realize that the words left his mouth.

Both of them were just staring at each other with wide eyes.

~

Jonghyun must be lying if he says that his feelings for Jinki are completely gone, but when he has Kibum in his arms Jinki doesn't even appear in his mind. Does he sound cruel? Completely, but no one can ever understand how love works.

They are lying on Jonghyun's bed, cuddling with each other. A week has passed since Jonghyun broke up with Jinki, and Jonghyun already asked Kibum to move in with him, in his apartment, the one that supposed to be his and Jinki's.

"Jjong." Kibum says, his right hand is on Jonghyun's torso, making a random pattern on Jonghyun's chest as he places his head on his shoulder. 

Jonghyun's right hand is hugging Kibum's tiny waist as his left hand is going up and down on Kibum's sides.

"Hmm..?"

"I still feel so guilty to Jinki. He's my friend too, yet I haven't said anything to him about us."

Jonghyun's movement stops for a moment, Kibum had said this few days ago. He knows that Kibum feels burdened about their relationship right now, but he has waited for this time since years ago. He doesn't want to ruin the perfect chance he gets because of it.

"This is my fault. You don't need to feel sorry or guilty." Jonghyun assures.

"But still... I know how much he loves you." Kibum tilts his head up so he can look into Jonghyun's eyes directly.

Jonghyun kisses the tip of Kibum's nose. 

"And you know how much I love you." Kibum sighs.

"He doesn't know anything about us, right? Can you think how he would feel if he knew that you're with me now?"

"I've thought of that many times, Kibum."

"He will hate me forever..."

Jonghyun moves from his position. He straddles Kibum's waist and hovers above him, their foreheads touching.

"He won't. I'm the one that he should blame, not you."

Kibum looks into Jonghyun's eyes as his hands move to Jonghyun's neck.

"Still... I am the one that caused both of you to break up."

"Baby... Please, I don't want to talk about this." Jonghyun kisses Kibum's lips but Kibum turns his head to the left.

"Why did I love you in the first place?" He murmurs quietly but Jonghyun hears that.

He flips their position so that Kibum is now sitting on his stomach.

"Bummie, baby..." Jonghyun holds both of Kibum's hands.

"You know how long I've been waiting to finally have you. I don't want our relationship to become a burden for you. I want to make you happy, not like this."

Kibum knows that on one side, Jinki is his friend, he knows he must be hurting Jinki a lot if he knows that he is dating with Jonghyun now. But on the other side, he loves Jonghyun and he also knows how long Jonghyun had been waiting for him. He knows Jonghyun will do anything to make him happy. And top of that all, he loves Jonghyun and he doesn’t want to leave him either.

"I still have to say sorry to Jinki..." Kibum leans down and Jonghyun kisses him.

Jonghyun doesn't reply to him, but he keeps kissing Kibum's lips and shoves his tongue in when Kibum opens his mouth.

"Jjong.." Kibum chokes, but Jonghyun doesn't say anything then urges Kibum to remove his shirt by tugging at it. Kibum gets the hint and they break the kiss to remove both of their shirts; throwing them to the floor. Jonghyun's mouth immediately finds its way to Kibum's collarbone, leaving some marks there and Kibum just moans. He’s now grinding his crotch to Jonghyun's. For the next few hours, their room is just full of their pleasure moans and sounds of skin slapping against each other.

~

In Kibum's opinion, Taemin may know about him and Jonghyun now. Because when Jinki and Jonghyun broke up, Taemin called Jonghyun and asked for the complete story. Jinki hadn’t wanted to say anything and just cried. Jonghyun didn't directly say to Taemin that he was dating Kibum but he hinted about that. Taemin is smart, he should have figured it out by now.

From the time Jinki stepped into Taemin's apartment, crying, Taemin knew that bad things happened. When Jinki didn't tell him anything, even Taemin had comforted him as much as he could and asked him about it, he knew that Jonghyun had the answer. After his conversation with Jonghyun he knew that there's a third person between Jonghyun and Jinki's relationship; the third being none other than Kibum. No one could ruin Jonghyun's relationship, except for Kibum. Taemin realized that Jonghyun hadn't fully gotten over Kibum in the past two years, and he was only hoping that Jinki and Jonghyun would be just fine.

But now everything is screwed up.

Taemin knows about Kibum, but he can't tell Jinki. He wants to tell him, but he knows how hard it must be for Jinki to get two blows at the same time. He knows how it feels like to have someone you really love leave you for someone else. He always tries his best to cheer Jinki up without saying ‘I told you so’ or mentioning Jonghyun at all. He suggests that Jinki move into his apartment since he has an extra room, and Jinki agrees.

~

The next morning, Jinki decides to move on with his life. He wants to leave all of his memories with Jonghyun behind and continue his life. He’s tired of regretting and crying because he knows Jonghyun may not be his again and he still has a long, long way to go. His intention is taking his things from their shared apartment and moving them to Taemin's.


Jinki is on his way to Jonghyun's apartment; it’s only 15 minutes by foot from Taemin's apartment. He is dragging Taemin's huge suitcase because he doesn't have one. When Jinki arrives, he goes to the 10th floor and pulls out the key from his jeans. He hesitates for a moment, but he remembers his promise to Taemin that he will never look back again so he pushes the key to the keyhole and turns it.

He opened their shared apartment, and all of his memories about Jonghyun flashed in his mind as he closes his eyes, mentally making the memories go. The apartment sounds really quiet. Jinki knows that Jonghyun won't wake up at the early hour on weekends. He walks to the living room, and the first thing he realizes is the big portrait of both of them which usually hung above the TV has gone.

Jinki smiles dryly.

"Do you forget me this fast, Jjong?" He whispers to himself.

He continues to walk to the cabinet to take his trophy (he is smart!) and he realizes most of their photos that usually placed on the cabinet have changed. The pictures change into Jonghyun and someone else. When Jinki walks closer and takes one of the picture frames, he sees Kibum there, he has his lips pouted and there's some ice-cream smears on his face. In the picture, Jonghyun is beside him kissing his cheek with an amused expression. Jinki feels like someone stabbed him with a sword in his heart repeatedly. Kibum, who is supposed to be his best friend is the one that replaced him in Jonghyun's heart in just less than two weeks.

There are still lots of pictures of Jonghyun and Kibum, but Jinki sees that the pictures in the last row are still Jonghyun and him. He doesn't know how he feels right now, his heart is broken beyond repair after he saw the pictures. Tears start to wet his eyes but he wipes them with the back of his hand. He wants to keep his promise. He wishes that Jonghyun won't wake up until he finishes his business; he doesn't know how to face Jonghyun right now.

When he is taking his pictures from the room (he makes sure he only takes his own photos with only him in it) suddenly he hears a sound of door cracking open. Wen he turns his head he sees a shocked Kibum standing in front of the bedroom door. Kibum doesn't wear a shirt, he is just wearing a pair of sweatpants and Jinki can see there are a lot of red and purplish marks on Kibum's upper body. He doesn't have to be a genius to know what the marks are.

"J-Jinki?" Kibum's voice shows nothing than surprise and somehow Jinki feels like he can't move, he only looks at Kibum with sad eyes. 

Finally, it clicks in his head, the reason why Jonghyun left him.

The memories of him and Jonghyun when they made love for the first time suddenly pops in his head. He had to wait for more than a year to feel Jonghyun for the first time. He was scared and inexperienced. He didn't want to hurt Jonghyun so he tried to be as gentle as possible for him, and he didn't leave any marks on Jonghyun's body. But now it hasn't been two weeks since their break up and Jongyun has already done that with Kibum. It feels so painful, does their two years means nothing to Jonghyun?

Maybe after a minute of looking into each other, Jinki has come back to his senses and says, "Sorry for surprising you. I just want to take my stuff because I have to move out of this house.”

He sees Kibum blink a few times.

"S-Sure.. I'm.. I'll go to the washroom first, o-okay?" He stutters.

When Jinki hears the sound of door closing, he closes his eyes and he lets out a long sigh. He feels so pitiful in front of Kibum. After a moment, he decides to continue to pack his things. Around 5 minutes later, Kibum comes out from the toilet and Jinki doesn't turn his head when Kibum walks behind him.

"Umm.. Do you need any help?" Kibum asks as he bites his lips and awkwardly pulling the collar of his shirt up. 

He feels even guiltier to Jinki because of this. Jinki is the one that should sacrifice himself for Jonghyun's sake and Kibum is the one that gets the showering love from Jonghyun.

"No, thanks." Jinki answers, not turning his head.

"Ah.. Okay.." Kibum says nervously and he walks to the bedroom.

Once he enters the bedroom, he picks up a discarded shirt from the floor. He wears that shirt and walks out of the room again. The shirt is apparently Jonghyun's because it’s bigger than his usual size and his collarbones can be clearly seen. He walks out of the room and heads to where Jinki is. Kibum sits on the couch beside where Jinki is taking his medals to put them into the suitcase.

"Umm.. Jinki.." Kibum tries to get Jinki's attention, but Jinki just answers him with a simple, "Yeah?", without even looking at him. 

‘That’s normal’, Kibum thinks.

"I'm sorry."

Jinki is frozen for a second, "It's okay... Just..", he swallows hard, "Just take care of him."

Maybe there is a full minute of silence before Kibum says "I will.”

Kibum is now trying to hold back the tears coming out from his eyes. He feels that he is the worst human being, shameless, and heartless. How can Jinki still act like that to the one that steals his boyfriend? There is a long silence between them.

"You really don't need any help?" Kibum offers once more before he stands up.

"No. Thanks for asking." Jinki sees from the corner of his eyes that Kibum nods and walks to the kitchen.


"Have you eat breakfast?" Kibum asks as he is putting a dark blue apron on his body.

Dark blue, Jinki thinks. That is Jonghyun's favorite color and that apron isn't in this house when Jinki left days ago. ‘That must be Jonghyun’s gift for Kibum’, Jinki thinks.

"Yeah." 

"Do you want some food? Or a drink?"

"No."

"Oh... Okay." There's a hint of disappointment in Kibum's voice but he doesn’t push that any further.

Kibum makes some food; peanut butter toast, scrambled eggs and sausage. ‘So Kibum knows what Jonghyun's favorite breakfast too.’ Jinki thought. Jonghyun loves it when the toast is cut into a rectangle - he doesn't like triangle shaped toast. Then Kibum cuts the sausage into three parts and fries them in a pan with margarine. Jonghyun doesn't like deep-fried sausage and Kibum knows that too. It was Jinki that used to know everything about Jonghyun. Then he saw Kibum preparing milk tea, Jonghyun's favorite drink ever. He always refuses to drink anything else beside milk tea in the morning. Jonghyun is sure picky in terms of foods, but Kibum knows everything exactly like Jinki knows.

It’s so unfair for Jinki. Kibum is so good at cooking, and Jinki knows that Jonghyun loves someone who can cook well. He had tried to learn cooking for Jonghyun before, but in the end he realized that he had no talent at all in cooking; he always made too many mistakes. In the end Jonghyun said that he loved Jinki the way he was, he didn't have to learn cooking if he couldn't. Jinki was really happy when Jonghyun said those words to him.

Kibum puts the dishes and two glass of milk tea on the dining table, one for Jonghyun and one for him.

"Umm.. I still have some milk tea, are you sure you don't want anything?" Kibum asks once more, but Jinki just shakes his head.

"No it's okay."

Kibum sits for a while before Jinki calls him.

"Kibum."

"Yeah?"

"Can I go to the bedroom? I want to take my clothes and stuff from there."

"Oh, sure." Kibum stands up and walks in the direction.

Before he turns the handle, he turns back.

"But Jonghyun is still sleeping.. Is it okay?"

Jinki just nods and then both of them enter the bedroom slowly.


There's nothing different in the bedroom since the last time Jinki was there. There's still a king-sized bed in the middle of the room, a computer table in the right end of the room, a big sofa in front of the window, and a small path to the closet on the left side of the room.

He sees Jonghyun is sleeping on the bed, topless (Jinki can see that because the blanket only covers the lower half of Jonghyun's body) and clothes are scattered around the bed. Jinki sees the photo frame that was always on the table beside the bed, which consists of his and Jonghyun's first photo as a couple, isn't there anymore. His heart hurts, it used to be his clothes that were scattered around the floor, it used to be him that was on Jonghyun's side when he woke up in the morning, but now Kibum has taken over his place.

"I'm sorry the room is kinda messy." Kibum says, a tint of pink shows on his cheek as he tries to pick up the clothes and put them on the couch.

Jinki just smiles and continues to walk to the closet. He sees Jonghyun stirs in his sleep, but he just walks past him. He opens the closet and starts taking out his property. He decides to leave all of his ‘couple’ shirts.

It’s about 20 minutes later, and Jinki finishes packing all of his belongings from the closet. He is surprised that he can pack all of his clothes that fast. He drags his suitcase and walks out of the closet only to find Kibum sitting besides sleeping Jonghyun on the bed, his hair lovingly and looking at him with an unreadable face.

He doesn't seem to realize that Jinki was standing there, so Jinki clears his throat.

"I'll go home now."

Kibum tilts his head to Jinki's direction and nods. When Kibum moves, Jonghyun squirms and opens his eyes.

"Baby? Bummie..." 

His right hand is rubbing his eyes and his left hand is reaching to his right, where Kibum supposedly sleeping. Kibum holds Jonghyun's hand and whispers to him softly. 

"Good morning Jjong."

Jonghyun smiles.

"Good morning honey.." Jonghyun leans closer and pursues his lips.

It's his habit, he always wants to get a morning kiss from Jinki when they were living together back then, but now Jinki is sure that Jonghyun has already replaced him with Kibum in everything. Jinki sees Kibum gives a quick peck on Jonghyun's lips. Jinki doesn't want to see or hear all of that. He wants to leave as quickly as possible to go back to Taemin's apartment and move on with his life.


"Jinki's here." Kibum says and Jonghyun almost jumps in surprise.

He quickly pulls up his blanket to cover his body.

"What are you doing here?" Jonghyun faces Jinki, but his tone is far from accusing.

"I'm just taking all my stuff." Jinki replies, not looking at Jonghyun's face. 

There is a moment of silence between them and when Jonghyun's eyes land at Jinki's suitcase he asks again.

"Where are you going?"

"Taemin's."

Jinki doesn't want to be here. He wants to leave and not see Jonghyun anymore but the atmosphere in the room seems thick. None of the three say any word.

Jonghyun is the one that breaks the silence.

"Jinki, sorry."

Jinki doesn't answer him, but Jonghyun's face looks sad, and he realizes that Jonghyun is grabbing Kibum's hand. Jinki wants to believe that it’s merely for courage. Jinki looks at Kibum's direction and moves his gaze to the door. Kibum gets the hint and releases Jonghyun's hand then he walks to the door, closing it after Jinki comes out of the room. Kibum accompanies him to the front door and opens it for him.
When Jinki has walked out of the door, Kibum calls to him.

"Jinki, I'm really sorry." 

Jinki turns around and smiles.

"Just please take care of him well..."

"I will. For you too."

"Thanks."

Jinki turns his back and walks to the elevator; going out of that building for the last time and back to Taemin's. Meanwhile, Kibum is going back to his and Jonghyun's bedroom where Jonghyun is still sitting on the bed. Kibum runs to Jonghyun and hugs him; crying in Jonghyun's embrace. Both of them don't say anything. Kibum is crying and Jonghyun is soothing him, but Jonghyun believes that this is the right path for three of them.

this is my fave story i've posted so far :P it's okay for the author to have an own fave story too right? ><" ahahahha

and and and i wanna ask all of you, i actually wrote a serie fic but it was het!fic. i was contemplated between posting or not because not many people like het!fic. if i posted it, will you read it? please leave a comment if you want me to post that fic. thanks :D