Where have you gone my love? Why have you left me all alone?

Wufan walked down the sidewalk, bumping into people as he moved through the rain. It was strange how he could remember everything so clearly. He had to keep focused. Keep searching. But his mind kept going back to everything he had. Everything they had.

He used to love walking down this sidewalk. The trees provided shade and on a breezy day it was perfect. He would the top button of his shirt, his hair a bit of a mess. But he smiled anyway because of the man who would walk beside him, all smiles as he held onto his hand. The dark haired beauty was almost as tall as he was but Wufan always considered him to be his adorable little sweetheart. With a love of pandas and Gucci he wasn't at all what you would expect when you looked at him.

He was Huang Zitao, the love of Wufan's life.

Zitao was the one Wufan wanted to wake up next to. The one he would give up everything for if it meant he could have him. If it meant he could see Zitao's smile. Zitao was Wufan's most treasured person and it was obvious in the way Wufan looked at him. Everything Wufan did was for Zitao and in the beginning he tried to deny it. But somewhere along the way he realized his life had begun to revolve around the younger man and it didn't bother him at all.

That was when he confessed his love.

That was six years earlier.

Everything was incredible. They were so happy together, and never looked at anyone else when they were together. Everyone talked about how they were the ideal of happiness and Wufan was so proud to be able to say that Zitao was his and no one else's.

It was so perfect.

And then the accident happened.

Zitao was crossing the street after buying some ice cream from the convenience store. Wufan had said he wanted some and Zitao was eager to do something for his older lover. It was late and there was hardly anyone on the streets. Zitao was almost to the other side when a driver came speeding down the road. The driver had fallen asleep at the wheel and Zitao just happened to be in his way.

The doctors had said that he would recover just fine. The damage wasn't too bad and he could even go home in a few days. Wufan remembered crying. He couldn't even process what the doctors had said the first few times they explained it to him. All he could think about was how it was his fault the accident had happened. If only he hadn't asked Zitao to get some ice cream. If only he had been there. If only he could have taken his place.

When Zitao opened his eyes a few days after the accident Wufan cried tears of happiness. He held Zitao and cried, telling him how much he loved him and how much he was glad Zitao was okay. He was so happy to have Zitao back in his arms that he didn't notice how Zitao's arm hung limply at his sides. Wufan pulled away and smiled at Zitao, but was faced with an expression of confusion.

“Who are you?”

Those words almost shattered Wufan's heart. But instead of crying and breaking down, he smiled and told him that he was Wufan. That they were lovers.

Zitao just stared at him for a little bit before clutching his heart. “It is beating fast when I look at you.” He had said. Wufan smiled at him and nodded. He wanted to cry. He wanted to hold him close. He wanted him to remember.

His body remembered though. He remembered Wufan's touches and reacted the same way as before. Zitao always seemed confused when he blushed, or when he trembled beneath Wufan's hands. He couldn't understand why he felt so strongly for someone he had never seen before in his life.

Some days Zitao did remember. Some days he remembered everything and would spend the day with Wufan like they did before the accident. Go for walks, talk about everything, lay in bed with their limbs entangled as they stared at each other. Wufan would always be happy that things were the way they were but it would never last. Zitao always woke up the next day, wondering why he was sleeping in the same bed as someone he had met for the first time in a hospital. It broke Wufan's heart every time it happened. Even though he loved Zitao regardless, deep down he wanted the Zitao who loved him to come back. The Zitao who would wake him up with feather like kisses and smile at him like he was the only thing in the world that existed.

One day he woke up and Zitao was gone. He didn't know where he went or why he left and that was how he ended up running through the rain, searching for his lover. Even if Zitao didn't remember him completely, Wufan remembered everything. He couldn't. . .no. . .wouldn't forget. Zitao was his everything, even if Zitao didn't remember.

Wufan looked around at the benches, hoping to see the familiar figure among them. They were all empty though and Wufan spun around to face the nearby park. And there he was, standing in front of the fountain with his face upturned to the sky as the rain poured against his face.

“Zitao!” Wufan called as he ran over to the dark haired boy. The boy looked at him with sad eyes as Wufan approached him and it became obvious that he had been crying.

“Why do you always come for me? I won't remember you the way you want me to so why do you stick around?” Zitao said as a few tears streamed down his face.

Wufan stepped forward and put his hand on Zitao's arm. “Don't I tell you this everyday? I stay by you because I love you Zitao.”

“I don't want this! I don't want to trap you in my life when I can't remember how we got this way in the first place!” Zitao didn't know why he was so frustrated over this man. He wanted to leave him, to free him from the messed up thing that was their relationship. It wasn't right for him to keep Wufan around when he couldn't even remember. He knew it wasn't right but when he tried to leave he found himself just wanting to run back into Wufan's warm embrace.

Wufan just smiled down at Zitao and pulled him close. “Zitao even if you don't remember it I made a promise to stay with you forever. I will continue to stay here even if you try to push me away.”

Zitao tried to extract himself from Wufan's arms weakly, not really wanting the contact to end. He felt so much happier when he was with Wufan like this. “Why would you do that? You can find someone else who will remember you.”

“I'm a selfish person Zitao. Memories of you aren't enough to keep me happy. I need you with me to be happy.” Wufan said simply. Zitao couldn't argue with that. If Wufan wanted to stay, he wouldn't try to push him away anymore.

The two stood in each others arms for awhile in the rain until Zitao sneezed and Wufan laughed softly. He took Zitao's hand and started to lead him back home.

“You're stupid for sticking around.” Zitao said when they were back in the warm home he had come to love.

“Yeah well that's why you like me.” Wufan smiled as he removed his shoes.

Zitao blushed and wrapped his arms around Wufan's waist while his back was turned. “Not like. Love.” He said simply. Wufan put his hands on Zitao's and smiled at Zitao's confession. He was just the same as always, even if he didn't remember it.

“I love you too Zitao.”