2006 June , Karaoke lounge...

“Donghee ah, Youngwoon ah, go and grab some more soju for the appas,” spoke Shindong’s umma as two guys got up from their seats before proceeding to the exit.

“Neh, umma,” reply Shindong as both of them disappeared from the karaoke lounge which the families had booked just for the occasion.

Super Junior families are all there, having a small gathering. This is nothing new for the 13 families as they always have gatherings every now and then.

Inyoung , Heejin and Sora were chit chatting at a corner whereas Sungjin and Donghwa were chit chatting at the other side with Yesung and the previously went out Kangin and Shindong.

Leeteuk was sitting with Donghae’s, Kangin’s and Sungmin’s umma while telling the ummas about the recent stories on the other members whereas the Kyuhyun’s, Shindong’s, Heechul’s, Ryeowook’s and Eunhyuk’s umma are also chit chatting at one side with different drinks on their hands and also some tidbits on the table for them to eat while chat.

Hangeng’s parents are among them too, which his umma had joined the other ummas in chatting while trying her hardest to understand Korean language.

Little Jongjin is running around with little Jiwon which they were being given cola instead of soju.

A few remaining ummas were lingering around the karaoke machine as they happily picked out some songs to be sang later whereas the appas are sitting together having a relatively serious conversation.

Super Junior members were there too as Kibum was sitting at a corner while holding his landmark smile while watching the funny bickers between the members including Heechul, Hangeng, Ryeowook, Sungmin, Siwon, Kyuhyun, Donghae and Eunhyuk.

Laughter’s could be heard every now and then as you can also hear people singing along against the karaoke machine.

Just then the music of NamJin's  sounded from the karaoke machine.

“OMO! Its Donghae’s appa favourite song,” chirped one of the ummas which within a few seconds, Donghae’s appa was being dragged to the center stage whereas a microphone was already passed to him to make him sing for that song.

Shortly, the whole karaoke room fall silent as everyone already has their eyes directed to Donghae’s appa as he sang his voice out.

No one knows that in a few months, the person who sang so beautifully right now will not be in this world anymore.

~~

The whole small gathering had ended slightly past midnight as each and every person had a smile plastered on their lips.

Several ummas were still dazed at Donghae’s appa passion in singing that song awhile ago while they did asked for encore after he had finished which Donghae’s appa had happily accepted the request in singing another song for them.

Super Junior members were bidding goodbyes with their families while at the same time Leeteuk was walking behind the crowd with Donghae’s appa.

“That was a very nice performance, abunim,” spoke Leeteuk who was walking along with Donghae’s appa.

“Thanks Jungsoo ah,” smiles Donghae’s appa.

 “Abunim, are you going to go back to Mokpo tonight?”

“Neh,”

“Abunim, its late already, why don’t you stay over the night with us and go back tomorrow morning?” ask the leader which a smile crept on Donghae’s appa lips hearing the genuine words from the young man.

The older man took out a cigarette from its back before lighting it up, taking a puff of the cigar he turns to the young man beside of him.

“I am grateful towards you,” he spoke while turning to the young man before holding his hand tightly.

“Our Donghae is a little….”he spoke while pausing for awhile, his eyes show grateful and trust as he looks into the younger man’s eyes, “ I will leave Donghae to you,”

 

 

2006 July, dance studio…

“Appa,”

A drop of tear had succeed in falling onto the wooden floor of the studio following by a loud thud making the other members snap from their little conversation and turn to the one particular guy whose phone had fell onto the floor upon the news which was delivered to him.

Appa has cancer?

Silent tears continue fall uncontrollably from the corner of the eyes alarming the other members.

“Donghae ah, what happen?” asked Leeteuk the leader of the team.

The guy stood on his spot, his eyes already red as soft sobs can be hear from his side.

Every member has the same confused expressions plastered across their faces.

“A-Appa…… a-appa… he… he…”

“Donghae ah, what’s wrong?” asked Eunhyuk who is sitting on the floor nearby while staring at him, concern about his best friend.

“Appa…a-ppa… a-ppa… got… g-got… c-c-c-….cancer…”

Gasps could be heard around the studio as the other 11 members of Super Junior couldn’t even believe their ears.

Leeteuk had immediately walked over pulling the boy into his embrace, hugging him tightly as Donghae cry even louder, while Eunhyuk had also went over to them, patting Donghae’s back.

Other members have the same concerned expressions, not even one of them know what should they do.

 

2006 August 8^th3.00am, Seoul Hospital…

The sound of hurried footsteps can be heard echoing throughout the hollow hospital corridor, a guy can be seen dashing across the hallway, two trails of tears streaming down the guy’s eyes, his lips quivering while chanting the only word he is able to think at the moment.

“Appa!”

The door to the ward was being push open forcefully as the guy dashed in, sweat already trickle down his forehead wetting his shirt as he stable his breathe upon the door, the only thing welcome him in that ward is his umma’s silent sobs and also Donghwa who is consoling umma.

Donghae had run all his way to the hospital upon receiving a call from his hyung that his appa might not be able to past for that night, and upon hearing that, Donghae had ditched his dance practice with the other members as he dashed out of the dance studio, leaving some dumbfounded members and also worried members.

“Appa..” pants Donghae who was still stabling himself against the doorframe, “Hyung..is appa…”

“Donghae ah…appa…..appa is gone…”

~~

The funeral take place in Mokpo just as Donghae appa wished, all Super Junior members had went to the funeral after completing their schedules, along with their parents, they went to Mokpo, paying their last respect to Donghae’s appa.

Donghae stood at the window glancing outside watching some kids playing on the playground nearby.

Appa, do you remember we used to spend our time playing in that playground?

Donghae clenched his knuckles tightly, tears had never stop flowing from his eyes, he knew, he will never see his appa again.

~~

“Omunim, have you seen Donghae?” ask Eunhyuk after paying his respect to Donghae’s appa.

“Ah, mianhae Hyukjae ah, I didn’t see him,” spoke Donghae’s umma as she serves some food to the relatives who come over to pay their respect.

“Anio, kamsamida omunim,” replied Eunhyuk while scan around, trying to locate Donghae.

~~

Silent sobs could be heard echoing in the dimmed room, a figure was seen wrapped up in a bundle weeping his heart out.

Photos were scattered on the floor, each and every one of them contains a man and a boy, the boy is none other than that that figure who is crying himself out.

~~

“Excuse me, have you seen Dongh… a boy, almost my height, with slightly long hair?” ask Eunhyuk stopping an ahjussi which is also here attending the funeral.

“Sorry boy, I didn’t see him,”

“Thank you” bowed Eunhyuk as he continue his search for Donghae.

“Excuse me, have you seen a boy, almost my height….”

~~

Tears continue flowing out of Donghae’s eyes, his eyes already swollen and puffy as he had been crying ever since.

A letter was seen beside the couch where he lay, the paper was slightly crumpled due to the emotions Donghae has been holding all the while he reads that letter.

To my son Donghae

Donghae ah, my son Donghae ah,

My dearest son Donghae ah.

Appa is so fortunate, because you are my son, and you already become a singer.

I am really fortunate.

You will often call me asking me:

“How are you recently, are you healthy…. And sorry, I love you.”

Donghae, when appa sees you on TV, I will put my hands on my chest without knowing,

Maybe because appa loves Donghae too much.

Donghae, let appa tell you, appa’s dream was once to be a singer,

But your haraboji was against it,

So I had given up my dreams in Seoul,

I brought your umma to Mokpo.

After that we gave birth to your hyung Donghwa, and you.

I am so fortunate.

Donghwa and you are my sons,

I am really thankful to God.

 

When you were in Junior High, you told me you wanted to be a singer,

Back then you were having fun and learning at the same time,

But when you said that you wanted to be a singer,

My heart, my emotions becomes excited.

I stuffed money in your hands and said: Go to Seoul

After you went to Seoul, me and your umma always prayed.

We have a lot of tears, just like our son Donghae.

Our Donghae must succeed.

If, our Donghae failed, he will have scar in his heart.

Pray, pray and still pray….

Then you had qualified.

Feel so happy at that moment,

Appa is proud of you, very proud of you.

From that moment our Donghae had went to live in Seoul,

I am very happy on one hand, while one hand I am sad.

But still I believe my son Donghae,

Because you are filled with courage and determination

Just like that, a few years later you had become a singer.

First time getting an award, you were worrying about me,

That day you still called me:

“Appa, I won’t cry now, I will definitely not cry now.

My fans are watching, am I doing well?

In this world, I love appa the most, I love the color of the sea the most..”

Watching our Donghae on TV,

I remember my childhood dreams.

 

My dearest son Donghae ah.

When our Donghae got rookie award, appa might not be able to see that..

Also unable to see my daughter in law and cute grandchildren…

But, as long as its our Donghae’s decisions, it will be the best one.

I will be guarding you in heaven, be your best support.

Also, our Donghae next life will be blessed….

My dearest son Donghae ah.

I love you,

Love you.

The world best Donghae’s appa.

~~

“Donghwa hyung, have you seen Donghae? I couldn’t find him anywhere,” spoke Eunhyuk upon spotting Donghwa who is on his way to refresh himself.

“Sorry I didn’t see him,” spoke Donghwa while stretching himself before continue, “why don’t you go look over the rooms, maybe he is locking himself up,”

“Thanks hyung,” replied Eunhyuk as he hurriedly went over continue his search for Donghae.

Eunhyuk had went over each and every room, trying to locate Donghae, slamming open each and every room but there is no sign of Donghae, not until he reach a room which was locked from inside.

~~

Knock knock..

“Donghae ah, are you in there?” asked a voice making Donghae snap up, two line of tears still streaming down his eyes.

Knock knock..

“Donghae ah… Donghae…”

“Leave me alone!” Donghae shouted as more tears pouring down his eyes.

~~

Eunhyuk can feel his heart breaking hearing Donghae’s hoarse voice, knowing that Donghae had been crying all the time.

“Donghae ah.. Donghae… would you mind unlock that door and let me in?” ask Eunhyuk as he can vividly hear Donghae’s soft sobs through the door.

He receives no reply, rather louder sobbing sounds could be heard, Eunhyuk feels sad seeing Donghae in this state.

~~

It was hours later after Eunhyuk succeed in finding Donghae, Eunhyuk found himself sitting against the door, his tears had been flowing ever since as he hears Donghae sad sobs in the room, he himself couldn’t do anything to help him.

~~

It was already dark outside where Donghae is still lying on the couch, not doing anything, his suit is already wet due to his tears, his eyes show tiredness and sadness, he feels as if his body is about to collapse.

Fresh tears could be seen flowing out of his eyes, he found himself still sobbing, the only thing changes after so many hours is that he can hear another pair of voice sobbing along with his soft sobs, that pair of voice which he had rejected his request a few hours ago, Eunhyuk.

Neither of them had move an inch even when Donghae’s umma come over to ask Eunhyuk to have dinner, only to be declined by Eunhyuk, saying that he want to accompany Donghae who had asked for some alone time.

For one day and one night Donghae had locked himself in the room, his body is tired but he couldn’t find himself getting some sleep.

Eunhyuk on the other hand found himself dozing off after crying along with Donghae.

It was a few more hours later when the door to the room creak open, Eunhyuk snap up seeing a figure peeking out from the room.

“Donghae ah..” whispered Eunhyuk as he got up scanning his eyes over Donghae who was standing at the doorstep.

It aches him to see him in such state, so brokened, eyes so red and puffy.

“You okay?” ask Eunhyuk whose eyes are also red and puffy just like Donghae’s.

Donghae just stood like that staring at Eunhyuk, their eyes never left each other.

“You need to talk? Or….” ask Eunhyuk again.

However before he could even finish his sentence, Donghae had already flung onto him, he found himself being hugged tightly as he heard Donghae’ sobbing again against his shirt, the only thing he can do right now is hug him and share whatever he is feeling.

~~

“Appa always..always..bring us there… a-appa say….” sobs Donghae while showing Eunhyuk a picture of Donghae and his appa at the seaside.

Both of them had went into the room, listening to Donghae telling him stories about his appa.

~~

It was a few days later after the funeral, Eunhyuk had been staying over in Mokpo helping his teammate and also best friend to get over his appa’s death.

It was an early morning where Donghae had went out for a stroll along the seashore with Eunhyuk’s accompany.

The cold breeze hits at their faces as both of them stroll down the beach, no words spoken between them.

The sun slowly risen catching both of their attention, the gloomy sky was painted with red, orange and yellow, it was as if saying that everything will be alright.

“Appa will look after me in heaven right?” ask Donghae as his eyes never left the sky, Eunhyuk latches his hand over Donghae’s slightly cold hands, no words was spoken between them.

Appa, you be my guardian angel right?

Saranghae appa…