“There he is. Eating cereal… as always.”

 

Lay smirked as he sat down next to Chen .

 

“Hey, Yixing! You sit beside me remember?” Luhan pouted.

 

“You better go Lay, Luhan will whine us to death if you don’t.” Chen said, pushing Lay towards where Luhan was sitting.

Luhan smiled contentedly as Lay sat down beside him. Lay was smiling too … on the inside though.

“Pass the milk please… said when he had finally settled in his seta next to Luhan. Kris handed him a tall glass of milk just as Xiumin entered the dining room with a plate.

“Here, eggs for everyone.” He announced and sat beside Tao. “Lay, you better wake up earlier next time so you guys won’t have to put up with my cooking.”

 

“But you’re cooking’s good Xiumin. Plus, I bet you guys are already sick of mine anyway.” Lay smiled a she helped himself to eggs.

 

“No one will be sick of your cooking Yixing, you’re cooking’s really good.” Luhan warmly said.

 

“Yeah well, I agree with Luhan gege on that!” Tao smiled. Lay just shook his head and spooned some eggs into his mouth.

 

“Make it fast you guys, we have a flight to catch today, I want everyone to be ready before lunch.” Kris said, after a moment of silence.

“Chill duizhang. It’s only 7 am and when… when did you ever start to wake up early?” Chen smirked and asked Kris in a teasing tone.

“Oh shut up Chen-Chen.” Tao immediately and defensively said.

“So you’re the one who woke him up early?” Chen asked.

“More like kept him up all night.” Luhan smiled widely. Tao just blushed. He never won an argument against his gege but he came up with a counter-attack almost immediately.

“You’re the expert at being up all night Luhan gege… along with Lay gege.” Tao smirked. It was good and great to one-up his sharp tongued gege.

Lay just looked shocked but Luhan smiled.

“We were just watching a movie.”

“Just? Just watching? Even I won’t believe that.” Xiumin smiled, eating his breakfast still.

“Oh you guys, just eat up okay?” Lay shyly said.

Tao and Kris caught each other’s glances and laughed.

“Fine, fine. Eat up you guys.” Kris said.

 

 

 

 

Chen stood up and volunteered to wash the dishes along with Kris. Kris ordered the others to pack their things and get dressed.

"Sheesh.. duizhang's so bossy." Tao complained.

"That's his job isn't it... plus, that's a trait of him that you love." Xiumin smiled.

"I guess you're right..." Tao smiled dreamily.

"Lovebirds." Luhan whispered to Lay. They Hi-5ed each other and smiled. The inside jokes and laughs they share always manage to make the both of them smile for the rest of the day.

"Who? Kris and Tao or you and Lay?" Xiumin teased.

Luhan and Lay looked at each other again and laughed loudly.

"No way, not us..." Lay defensively said, still chuckling. Luhan looked at him oddly but laughed.

"That's what they always say..." Tao said, opening the door to his and Xiumin's room. Lay ignored them and went inside the room he shared with Luhan and plopped himself to the bed immediately.

"You all right Yixing?" asked Luhan, looking at Lay who had begun to stare off.

"Yes, I'm fine."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes Luhan... I'm perfectly fine."

"Well, okay. I'll go and get our suitcases then. You better bring out your clothes." Luhan said, rummaging inside their closet.

Lay looked at him rummaging inside their closet and smiled to himself. 

How could one human being be so caring of him?

"Luhan..."

"Mmmm yes?" Luhan's voice came out muffled.

"I'll just go out for awhile. See you." Lay said, standing up. Luhan's head came out of the closet and his hair was ruffled so Lay giggled a bit.

"Huh why? Lay where are you going?"

"Just... somewhere, I'll be back I promise."

Lay swiftly moved out of the room, leaving a confused Luhan behind.

Lay exited their dorm and walked straight to the small garden just behind their dorm building.

No one ever found him there, it was his secret place where he talked to himself about his sadness, pressures, stress and about Luhan.

Luhan.

Lay's heart felt heavy of emotions as he took a seat in the soft grass.

 

“What’s happening with me and Luhan right now?” He asked himself, searching for answers inside himself.

One minute, he and Lucan were the best of friends… the next, they would be surrounded in an awkwardness that usually appears when one is hiding something from the other.

“So is he hiding something form me?” Another question in Lay’s head.

“Because… I’m hiding something from him too.” Lay defeatedly said to himself, putting his head in between his knees.

 

Ever since they were trainees, Lay knew that he and Luhan would be the greatest friends but he never thought that his heart would feel something more than a great friendship.

Lay never told Luhan about his secret and so far, only Kris knows about it because he can easily read people.

He swore to himself that Luhan would never find out.

 

He’s in love with Lucan.

 

Even though he hasn’t told Luhan about it yet, he has a vague feeling that Luhan knows.

It’s a hard secret to keep after all and sometimes, Lay would do things for Luhan that makes his feelings obvious like doing everything Luhan wants and even staying with him through whatever.

His secret is getting too obvious with every day spent with him… hints and hearts everywhere.

It’s either Luhan does not see the hints about Lay’s feelings or he just turns a blind eye on them.

Just like last night….

 

He, Luhan and Chen were watching a movie late last night.

He and Chen were on the couch and Lucan was sprawled on the floor. Chen was eating popcorn and Lay’s hands were perched on his knees, watching the movie intently… The Avengers. Luhan was blowing his bangs away, clearly bored.

Luhan sat up abruptly, positioning himself in between Lay and Chen. He reached towards Lay’s hand and touched it lightly.

They looked at each other for a while then burst out laughing.

 

“That was so awkward!”

“What the hell was that?”

 

“Sssshh!” Chen scolded them.

Laughing, they went back to the movie.

“I like touching your hand even if it’s awkward.” Luhan said, slightly giggling. Lay leaned back, cheeks burning and he thanked God it was dark.

 

 

 

 

A light breeze ruffled through the small garden, messing up Lay’s hair and snapping him back to reality.

Those touches, teases, chocolate bars, laughs and those special moments they share… it just can’t mean nothing.

It has to mean something.

Why would Luhan do that?

“Maybe that’s just me. Giving meaning to meaningless things.” Lay sighed.

“I don’t even know what’s happening in between us right now.”

 

=====================

 

“You made me worry Yixing! You were gone for an hour! You said you’d be fast.” Luhan opened the door to the dorm, greeting a flustered Lay with his worried face.

“I’m here now Luhan. Relax yes?”

“You just made me worry. But now that you’re here, you’d better take a bath. I fixed your clothes for you by the way.”

Lay looked back at Luhan with a smile.

“You fixed my things?” Lay asked, feeling his stomach jump.

“What else can I do? You might just rush and forget some stuff if you packed for yourself so I did it for you.” Lucan smiled warmly.

“That’s so swee—thanks Luhan.”

“Don’t mention it Yixing!” Luhan said, pushing Lay slightly.

Lay waked to their room smiling.

That’s why he fell in love with this guy.

So sweet, caring and considerate.

He’s so much fun to be around with and he’s the only one who can match up to Lay’s naughtiness and troublemaker persona.

Once, in SMTown LA, they locked Kai and Kyungsoo in a room together for fun and they hid Baekhyun’s SNSD poster.

From the outside, people would see their intense bond, intense enough to be mistaken as something more than a friendship… and for Lay, it is of course, something more than a friendship but for Luhan…

 

No one knows what he really feels for Lay.

Even if their groupmates and their fans continue to pair them up. Lucan still leaves Lay unsure of his feelings for him.

It’s like he leaves Lay feel loved and he loves him too.

 

But then, he suddenly leaves him hanging.

 

Hanging on false hopes and wasted tears.

 

He gazed down at his suit case that Luhan fixed for him.

“I wish you’d stop confusing me.” Lay sadly said, throwing down his wallet, keys and phone. He grabbed a towel and headed for the shower.

 

=====================

 

Luhan opened the door to their room just as Lay closed the door to the bathroom.

Luhan reached over Lay’s bed and grabbed his phone, accidentally knocking Lay’s wallet to the floor where it opened up to a picture of him and Lay pre-debut.

He knelt down to put it back and caught a glimpse of the note he had scribbled there.

 

“Yixing!

Thanks so much for being a good friend of mine. I wish you good luck in everything and remember that I love you, you naughty bag of chips.

-Luhan.”

 

Luhan smiled as he set the wallet down again.

 

=======================

 

“Lay! Kris, Xiumin and I will go to the van to bring our luggage down, you comin’?” Chen pounded the bathroom door with his fist.

“You’ve been there for awhile, what are you doing?”

“Taking a bath.” Lay answered, opening the bathroom door. “Don’t worry Chen, I’ll follow you guys with my suitcase later.”

“Suit yourself Lay… anyway, we’ll be leaving soon.” Chen walked away.

Lay put on his blue shirt and jeans, zipped his suitcase shut and got his guitar case out from under his bed.

“I’ll bring it down later.”

He went out and sat with Tao on the couch. Luhan was on the phone, near the window.

 

“Jinja? Joonmyun-ah, is he alright? You know how he is when he’s sick. Take care of him okay?” Luhan paced the floor.

 

“Huh? Tao, who’s sick?” Lay asked Tao but he just shrugged so they continued listening.

Luhan faced the large window and listened carefully to whoever was on the other line.

Finally, he spoke.

“Jongin, you’ve gotta take care of him… tell him to take good care of himself and tell him to get well soon.”

 

A murmur form the other line…

 

“Just tell Sehun to take care.” He said and the call ended.

Luhan shook his head ad made to sit down in between Tao and Lay but Lay stood up.

“I’ll just go and bring my suitcase down.” He said in a choked voice.

Luhan pulled him back down but It was too late… Kris and the others arrived telling them to get the other suitcases down since they have a plane to catch.

“Come on you guys, move it.” Kris said.

“Yes duizhang.” Xiumin whined, grabbing his pack of food for the journey from the table.

Lay moved back, going to their room while the others went to the door.

 

Lay got in and heaved his suitcase and shouldered his guitar case.

 

“Lay, you coming?” Kris said, carrying two pillows. Lay nodded and walked with Kris to the door.

 

Then at the last minute, he remembered.

“Wait, Luhan forgot his travelling pillow.” Lay announced and ran back to their room.

 

He grabbed the small pillow and pressed it to his face, it smelled of Luhan’s cologne, intoxicating and sweet.

 

“Stupid Luhan… you’re the one who forgot.” He smiled to himself and stuffed the pillow in his backpack.

 

“Lay! I don’t want to be late you know…” Kris said, smiling as he saw what Lay did.

“So you gonna give him that pillow later or take it to your bed?” Kris teased.

“I’m gonna hide it from him first.” Lay smirked naughtily.

“Like how you hide your feelings right?”

“You got me there, duizhang… “

“Well, why don’t you tell him anyway?”

“Because… he does not feel the same way and he’s got Sehun anyway.” Lay answered curtly.

“Well, you’ll never know if you don’t try Lay.”

“It’s better off this way… it’s harder everyday, I know but It’s better than if I keep on crying over him right?”

“Don’t you cry because of him every night?”

“I don’t!”

 

“Just trust your heart, Lay.”

 

=====================================

Their plane landed in Incheon Airport safely to the cheers of fans and supporters.

 

“Lay oppa!!!”

“Kris duizhang, saranghae!”

“Luhan gege! You are handsome as ever!”

 

“You think they’d get sick of us or something….” Luhan whispered to Lay as they waved to a couple of fans.

“I don’t think they’d ever get sick of a face like yours.” Lay replied.

Luhan giggled and slapped Lay’s arm. Luhan was clutching Lay’s travelling pillow since he “forgot” his pillow at home. Lay and Kris just smirked as Lay handed his pillow to Luhan on the plane… clearly Lay decided to go for the second option, take it to his bed.

 

“Annyeong haseyo!” Tao shouted from behind them.

“His Korean’s improving…” Lay remarked.

“That’s because Kris teaches him.” Luhan replied. “If you know what I mean…”

“Eeeww.” Lay answered back. Luhan just chuckled and pulled Lay towards the 3 Exo-K members waiting for them on the other side of the airport.

“Hey! Over here!” Baekhyun shouted, waving his arms in the air.

“You don’t have to shout, Baekhyun.” Kai laughed.

Suho went forward to greet the others and helped them with the luggage.

 

“Kai, how’s Sehun?” Luhan immediately asked.

“He’s alright, just a slight fever. Kyungsoo and Chanyeol is taking care of him right now.” Suho answered.

“Maybe you can cure him, hyung.” Kai teased.

“Are you crazy? He can take care of himself.” Luhan shook his head. Lay drifted off to Kris and Tao who put a comforting arm around his gege’s shoulders, sensing his sadness.

“No actually… he’s such a crybaby.” Kai replied.

“Psh. Let’s just go home now, Suho. I’m craving for kyungsoo’s cooking.” Luhan said, pulling the others to the van.

“Are you sick of Lay hyung’s cooking already?”

“I didn’t say that… I love Lay’s cooking, you guys know that, since I’m too lazy to cook for myself.” Luhan turned around and smiled at Lay who returned the smile a little sadly.

They boarded the van as a light rain started to fall.

 

======================

 

“We’re home!!!” Chen and Kris shouted once the door opened.

“Sssshhh! Keep quiet on hospitals guys.” Chanyeol greeted them. Lay caught a glimpse of Sehun on the couch as he entered.

“Pleasee Chanyeol hyung, It’s all fine. I’m fine see.” Sehun stood up and did a twirl to make the other members sure that he’s alright.

“Oh you’re alright now because … yeah.. yeah.” Kai smirked as he brought Chen’s heavy suitcase in.

“Psh. Whatever Kai.” Sehun smirked and greeted his hyungs… but Luhan, he greeted differently.

He hugged Lucan and flicked his cheek.

“What a greeting you sickly boy.” Luhan smirked but he did not stay long in Sehun’s arms.

 

“Hello guys!” Kyungsoo greeted them. “Yah! Oh Sehun, sit back down, you’re still not well.”

“I’m fine hyung, honestly I am.” Sehun smiled.

“Sehun, you’d better obey DO.” Luhan said, pulling Kai and Kyungsoo to the kitchen.

“I’m just gonna make cupcakes with them… it’s been so long and I studied Kyungsoo’s recipe.” Luhan said to the others and he went to the kitchen with Kai and Kyungsoo.

 

“Welcome back to Korea I guess…” Chanyeol said awkwardly. Lay just laughed and brought out his guitar.

He sat down near the large window and watched the rain patter against the glass.

 

“See, he’s doing stuff for Sehun right now… he completely ignores me when Sehun is there. Here I was saying that just being friends is better but I feel sad because he just sees me as a friend.” Lay talked to himself quietly, letting mist form on the window from his breath.

 

He strummed a few chords on his guitar as he listened to his groupmates’ noisy chatter.

Chanyeol and Kris were rapping to “Two Moons” like they always do and Chen was watching TV with Baekhyun and Sehun.

 

The rain fell steadily on the window, drop after drop.

 

Behind him, Lay heard Luhan’s laughter as he, Kyungsoo and Kai made cupcakes.

 

“Happy kiddo.” Lay muttered to himself as he saw Luhan putting the cupcakes inside the oven. Luhan gave the thumbs up sign to Lay as the three of them, still with flour in their hair and smelling of burnt sugar sat down on the couch. Luhan sat down and started to talk with Sehun and Kris sat down with Lay.

 

“You’ll never know if you’ll never try.” Kris said, spreading his long legs on the floor.

“But… he means everything to me and if I lose him, I don’t know anymore.”

“Love is always worth a try. Take your time to think about it.”

“I’ll have to think it through.”

“Good, because you know what, you’ll never know.” Kris smiled warmly at Lay and he gestured for him to continue talking.

 

“I mean… he keeps on giving me false hope and stuff then he suddenly is gone. As if he never was there at all.” Lay said sadly.

 

“What do you mean false hope Lay?”

 

“He stays with me, hugs me and places kisses on my cheek, we tease and cuddle with each other. So many things we do together and for each other, the list goes on, what does it all mean? Does he love me or is he just playing with me?” Though filled with emotions, Lay managed to keep his voice even.

 

Don’t cry, not now. He told himself.

“I don’t know what it means, I’m so sorry Lay. Go talk to him if you want to find out.”

 

“I’m scared to find out.”

 

“Don’t be.”

 

Lay did not get to say what was on his mind since Luhan suddenly came over.

 

“Here. Taste this you bag of chips. It’s oreos and cream.” Luhan said, waving a piece of cupcake in front of Lay’s face. Lay gingerly took a bite and Luhan smiled.

“Is it good?”

Lay nodded as he swallowed the piece of cupcake he gave him.

“Do you think Sehun would like it?”

Lay choked on his cupcake and slowly, he nodded.

“But I’ll make a chocolate on for you because I know you want one.” Luhan laughed and doing his best to keep calm, Lay laughed along.

 

When Luhan left, Lay eyed Kris.

 

“You see, that’s exactly what I mean. I’m going out for awhile gege. Don’t try and follow me.” Lay stood up and handed his guitar to Kris, which he never does and walked past the others towards the door.

 

“Yixing wait, it’s raining hard outside, take an umbrella.” Kris shouted, but Lay had already gone.

 

“Where’s he going?” Luhan asked, flustered.

 

“I don’t know.” Kris answered.

 

“Why’s he doing this Kris?”

 

“Don’t you know Luhan? You honestly don’t know?” Kris asked Luhan, handing him Lay’s wallet that he dropped awhile ago.

 

“Oh my…”

 

===================

 

Lay walked in the rain for so long, he stayed out of the main streets in case fans would see him but he need not worry. No one was out and it was raining hard.

 

He need not worry because he was far away from Luhan and Sehun the lovebirds.

 

How can Luhan be so insensitive?

How can he mislead him?

 

“Maybe it’s time to just move on…” Lay said, wiping raindrops and tears away from his face.

 

“It’s time to get a move on Yixing, you’re a stupid unicorn so heal yourself.” He told himself.

 

He reached out and touched the raindrops, feeling his whole body shiver because of the cold.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

“Lay!”

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

“LAY!”

 

 

Lay walked faster as the footsteps got nearer.

 

“I told you not to go after me Kris. Listen, I decided that I’ll leave him, let him be.” Lay walked faster, not turning around to face the one pursuing him.

 

“If he wants to be with Sehun, then he’s free. Hell, he’s not even mine anyway.” Heavy footfalls…

 

“I don’t want my heart to be played with ever again.” Panting, trying to get away…….

 

“WILL YOU STOP FOLLOWING ME KRIS?”

 

“! I’M SO INLOVE WITH LUHAN RIGHT NOW THAT IT HURTS ME KRIS, IT ING HURTS ME.”

 

He turned around as a pair of strong and slender arms wrapped him in a tight embrace. He cried onto the chest of the person as the rain fell…

 

But instead of a deep voice, a higher and gentler tone calmed him down.

 

“Lay, I’m sorry… I guess I’ve hurt you, I’m truly sorry. I should have told you that I love you sooner so that you would not have to be hurt. Sehun’s just a brother to me Yixing, you don’t have to worry.”

 

Lay looked up, up at the wet and smiling face of Luhan.

 

“But Lay, right now, right now, I’m sure, with all my heart, I’m sure that I love you.”

 

Luhan wiped his tears away and trapped Lay in an even tighter embrace.

 

They stayed under the rain like that for a long time until Lay finally reached up and kissed Luhan’s lips.

 

“Let’s go home.”

 

“I have a cupcake for you right at home you bag of chips.”

 

“Oh I have a small surprise for you, Luhan.”

 

“What? You’ve got my pillow on your backpack all along?”

 

“How did you know?”

 

“Telekinesis remember?” Luhan smiled and kissed Lay again.

 

Finally, they were both sure.

 

Sure that they loved each other.