I nibbled at my fingernail while I sat on the edge of the bathtub. The water in it rippled as I moved my legs back and forth, stirring up a lot of froth. I looked at the phone in my hands and started to write a text. Halfway through I changed my mind, deciding that I would do it after my bath. I put the phone away and slid down into the water.

 

I walked out of my room half an hour later wearing a sheer blue crinkle top and a denim cut-off skirt. My damp hair was cold against my back and the stone slabs of the floor were warm beneath my bare feet. The sun was shining down and there was a gentle breeze that kept it from being too hot. The sky was a bright blue with a few clouds that looked like they’d been sketched out for some cartoon or other. It felt like Mother Nature was smiling and I couldn’t help but smile back as I reclined in the daybed. 

 

I’d taken my phone with me when I came outside and I took it from my pocket. I opened the messaging menu and composed a text, sending it before I could second guess myself or change my mind again. I hope he replies. I grabbed a book from the stack that was on the floor and flipped it open in a bid to distract myself. It didn’t work. I couldn’t stop glancing at the phone and hoping each time that it would light up and announce that I had a message. After a half hour of that, I couldn’t take it anymore. I put the phone beneath the pillow, my iPod and put my headphones on. Jessie J’s “Do It Like A Dude” came on as I found my bookmarked page and started to read again.

 

The phone’s vibrations were what woke me up. I wasn’t aware of having fallen asleep but I must have. I reach beneath the pillow and pulled the phone out. Its screen was lighting up and flashing the “new message” warning. I sat up and put my music on pause before I opened the text. It was from Taemin. I smiled and scrolled down to read the rest. I replied, my fingers flying over the tiny keys. 

 

•                                  

 

I fell asleep texting him that night and woke up to the kind of good weather that sent people everywhere to their nearest beach. It was a Sunday and I had to get ready for Church. I had breakfast with my grandparents and then spent fifteen minutes trying to choose a dress. I ended up deciding on a strapless burgundy sweetheart dress with a flared skirt. I put on a short-sleeved cropped royal blue jacket to keep my back and shoulders from being exposed, slipped my feet into a pair of green and black wedge heels and pinned my hair back from my face. I was sitting in the living room with a mirror on my lap and a tube of eyeliner in my right hand when the doorbell rang. 

 

 

I heard my grandmother go to the door while I finished with my eyes. I could hear footsteps approaching as I slid the mirror onto the couch. I grabbed my crocheted black handbag from the seat beside me and stood up just seconds before she walked in with Taemin right behind her. He was smiling already but I’d swear that I saw his face light up when he saw me.  We both said goodbye to my grandmother and walked back out the way she’d led him in. We were both silent, the clacking of my heels and the soft thuds of his formal looking Supras on the floor were the only sound we made until after we’d closed the front door behind us.

 

 

“Tae?” I said it slowly, unsure of how he’d react to my shortening his name.

 

 

“Yeah?” He looked at me from beneath the bangs that covered most of his eyebrows.

 

 

“Where’s my hug?” Every single time we’d met up so far he had greeted me with a hug. Today he hadn’t and it felt odd, it felt off. 

 

 

“Didn’t wanna do it in front of your grandma,” he said. He turned to face me and wrapped his arms around me. “I didn’t want her to get the wrong idea.”

 

 

“She wouldn’t,” I told him. My arms slid around his waist and I let my head rest on his shoulder. The hug ended much too soon for my liking and we resumed walking side by side. 

 

 

The church wasn’t far and we got there with time to spare. Time I used to wander around looking at the gorgeous stained glass windows and the biblical scenes that were painted on the vaulted ceiling. I tried to figure out which ones were up there and I’d identified three when the bells rang. That meant that the mass would be starting shortly. I looked around, lost for the few seconds it took me to locate Taemin and start moving towards him.

 

 

Throughout the mass he helped me out, finding the pages in the hymn book for me or the passages from the Missal that were used as the readings. We both took communion, joining a line that stretched as far as the church door. After the mass I lingered, kneeling on the padded prie deu to say some extra prayers. Taemin waited for me outside and I found him chasing a butterfly. Only Taemin. 

 

We had already walked half the distance between the church and my home when my phone rang. My heart sank when I recognized the ringtone. It was Tokio Hotel’s ‘Dark Side’. I wanted to ignore the call but I knew Tom better than that. After a year and a half of dating, I knew all too well how persistent he could be when he wanted something. I wished he had called some other time. Sometime when I wasn’t with Tae! Because I hadn’t gotten around to telling him that I had a boyfriend. 

 

 

I made a hand gesture that meant ‘wait’ and crossed the street as I hit the talk button. The deep breath I took did nothing to calm me down. This is going to be one hell of a long distance phone call. I could see the concern on Tae’s face from here, his eyebrows coming together in a frown as he watched me. For his sake, I would try to be quiet. If he’s worried now, he’ll be frantic if I were to start yelling and cursing.