I Love You.
Forever
Your boyfriend held you close as you cried into his shoulders, staining his plaid dress shirt.
“It's okay sweetie, just let it all out, I'm here for you.”
your hair, Suho placed a soft kiss on your forehead before wiping the tears that stained your cheeks. You looked up at his caring orbs, his gentle embrace made you feel safe and protected but it didn't change the fact that your brother is gone. You continued to sob and wrapped your arms around Suho's torso. The news had struck you hard. You had just got home from getting together with his friends to plan his eighteenth birthday party when you received a phone call from your screaming mother. You rushed back to your parent's place and found your mother in the arms of your father while your brother was dangling from the ceiling, the police officers had yet to arrive. You shuttered as the images came back, your mothers cries echoing in your head.
Nobody would have guessed that he'd commit suicide. Not a single person in the family or the people amongst Chanyeol's circle of friends would have guess that their happy virus was upset enough with life to hang himself. Why would he do this? Yes, there are times when he would fight with his father and there are times when your parents would argue… but what kind of a family doesn’t have these things? They’re so typical and Chanyeol was never bothered by them to begin with. It can’t be because of the family. So, his friends? No, no way. He’s had the same group of friends since elementary school; a close nit group that you practically watched grow up. Being the elder sister by seven years you often babysat Chanyeol with his friends over, none of them would do anything to make him do this. None of them. School? But… how? From what you know and what you’re told, Chanyeol has no enemies in school. He has perfectly fine grades and even got into the arts academy he had been dreaming of going to since he was ten. His girlfriend was with you while planning the party so it couldn't have be her either, right? No, Soojin and Chanyeol have never had problems before. You continued to think long and hard as Suho comforted you in silence. It just doesn’t make sense, nothing is adding up.
“Sweetie, sweetie, sweetie!” Suho waved his hands in front of you to get your attention, you must have dazed out just now. “You’re phone is ringing.” Suho handed you your cellphone and watched as you picked it up.
“Soojin?”
“Unnie! Where are you right now?!” You got up from Suho’s embrace and furrowed your eyebrows. You had assumed that Soojin was calling to talk about what happened to Chanyeol but her frantic tone tells you otherwise.
“Huh? What? I’m at my apartment with Suho, why?”
“GET OUT OF THERE! UNNIE! GET OUT!! HE’S TH-” You winced as Suho tugged your cellphone from your hand and threw it against the floor, smashing it into small bits.
“Suho?! What's wrong with you?! Why did you do that?!” You looked up at your boyfriend in confusion. He was breathing slowly, his eyes held a look unfamiliar to you. You thought back to the phone call just now, why did Soojin sound so scared when you said that you were at home with Suho?
“Suho, what the hell is going on? Why did Soojin sound so scared just now?” Suho took in a deep breath then smiled, his face returning to the same expression you fell in love with.
“What do you mean what’s going on? How would I know why Soojin was scared?” You looked at him and kept yourself composed, you’re not an idiot.
“Then why the hell did you throw my phone just now?” Suho looked up at you, his face showing no signs of the menace it held earlier, instead, he looked absolutely confused.
“Sweetie, are you alright? You threw your phone. Chanyeol’s death must really be hitting you hard.” Suho placed his hands on your cheek and brushed it softly. “You need to calm down for a bit alright?” Your head started to hurt, what the hell?
“No, Suho, I saw you throw my phone!” You took his hand and removed it from your face. Suho’s face began to fill with worry.
“Sweetie, you need to calm down. I know you’re in shock because of what happened but I can’t just pretend that nothing is wrong. You got up when I gave you the phone just now and spoke with Soojin for thirty seconds before throwing your own phone across the room. I didn’t even touch it.” He’s spewing nonsense. There was something wrong, really wrong right now but there’s nothing you can do at this moment. You bit your lip out of habit and decided to play along until you can get out without Suho noticing.
“Sorry Suho, I don’t know why I did that…” Suho’s expression softened before placing a kiss on your forehead.
“It’s okay, how about I make you some tea to calm you down?” You nodded as Suho laced his hand into yours and led you your shared bedroom. He brought you to the bed and placed the pillows on your back so you could sit up in comfort. “Wait here while I go boil the water.”
Your eyes followed his until he left the room. You heard a soft click and your eyes enlarged. He just locked the front door. Soojin, you need to get in contact with her. You reached over to your home phone next to the bed and held it against your ears, silence. Getting out of bed you looked behind your night stand, he cut the cord. That’s when you realized you were in danger. Soojin must have called to warn you about Suho, but why? What’s going on? Your body began to shake slightly from fear; you looked at the photo of you and Suho next to the phone. He wouldn’t even hurt a fly. You then looked at the door as the footsteps grew louder, right? You got up and sat back onto the bed just as Suho came in.
“Hey sweetie, I made you green tea, this should help.” He walked over and blew the tea gently before giving it to you. “Come on, drink up.” You took a sip without thinking, Suho always took great care of you but what happened just now was beyond normal and you needed to know why, fast.
“Thanks.”
“You’re welcome.” Suho took the cup back from you and glanced at the clock. “It’s already nine, maybe you should get to bed early today. Some sleep will do you good. I’m sorry about what happened; you shouldn’t have seen something like that.”
Your heart began to race; you didn’t tell Suho what happened. All you said was that Chanyeol was gone before crashing into his arms when you got back to the apartment today. Suho seemed to have noticed your body tensing up.
“Sweetie? Are you okay?” He placed his hands on your head and you hair. You looked up at him in fear, your hands shaking as you brushed his hands off of you.
“I-I didn’t tell you anything.”
“Oops.” That expression, the one so foreign to you and so strange on a face as delicate as Suho’s came back and caused chills to run down your spine.
“Oops?” That’s when it hit, Suho… he must have done something to Chanyeol. “What do you mean oops?”
“It doesn’t matter, he’s gone now anyways.” Hot tears from the back of your eyes began to flow at the way your boyfriend spoke about your brother.
“What do you mean? Suho, w-what did you do?”
“Sweetie don’t cry, he’s not worth your tears. I got rid of him for us. He was getting in the way.” Your head started to spin as you looked up at him in disbelief; you couldn’t take this. The man you fell in love with is speaking about your brother as if he was a nuisance. The man in front of you right now just confessed to killing Chanyeol. You let out a scream and shoved him hard. Your legs racing towards the front door. Your hands shook as you scrambled to open the door but it was no use, you felt giant hands wrap around you, pulling you close.
“Where do you think you’re going?” You struggled against his hold but he only held you tighter. “I asked you a question.” You sobbed while tugging at his arms. The way he spoke is nothing like the Suho you know, this man is a monster.
“Let me go!” Spinning you around Suho crashed his lips against yours and gripped your hips harder. You bit Suho’s lips hard causing him to yell in both anger and pain. You knew you made a mistake when Suho grabbed you and threw you over his shoulders. You started to kick while punching his back, hoping to do some sort of damage. “Let me down you ! Let me down!!!” Suho flung you onto the bed and closed the door.
“Calm down and listen to me.”
“No!” You sobbed harder as you looked at him. He was slowly making his way back to you. “Give him back. Give him back! GIVE ME MY BROTHER BACK YOU !” You jumped up from where you were and shoved him. He clutched your hands as you did this and pulled you down with him. “Give him back! Chanyeol, my poor Channie, my poor baby brother. What did he ever do to you?!” You threw useless smacks against his chest until a slap against your face made you freeze.
“Shut up!” Suho picked you up and shoved you against the wall. Your eyes were filled with fear while your cheek stung, a light pink started to form. This must have caused something to snap in Suho because his expression softened again, the sudden change was absolutely frightening.
“Oh my god, I’m so sorry sweetie.” Suho brought his hands up and cupped your face. “Sweetie, I’m so sorry, I shouldn’t have done that. I wouldn’t ever hurt you, you know that right? I’m so sorry; I don’t know what came over me. Sweetie, I’m sorry. Sweetie, sweetie?” You were at lost for words, this man is insane. “Please don’t be mad at me, I’m so sorry, you’ll forgive me right?”
You stared at him for a solid three seconds then gathered your saliva and spat on his face.
“Forgive you? YOU TOOK CHANYEOL FROM US!” Suho wiped the liquid off of his face and glared at you.
“Chanyeol this and Chanyeol that! Chanyeol… Why is it always Chanyeol?!” You couldn’t believe your ears. Your brother just died, who else were you supposed to be talking about right now?
“It was like that from the day I met you as well, I thought our love would change that but I guess it didn’t. It’s always that precious brother of yours that you care about.” Your entire body trembled in anger.
“He’s my brother, of course I care about him but that doesn’t mean I don't love you.”
“If you love me, you'd forget about them and stay here by my side. Family? Friends? Who needs them when you have me?” You felt sick to your stomach as those words left his mouth.
“What is wrong with you Suho?!”
“What’s wrong with me? What’s wrong with you?! I do everything for you! I drove you around before you got a license, I let you stay at my place whenever your parents fought, I took care of you when you were sick and spent time with you whenever I could spare some of it from work and school. Even today, everything was fine until Soojin called, that . I never liked her; hate her just as much as I hate Chanyeol actually. But I love you, I love you with every ounce of my being but I’m always in second place. You cancel our dates whenever Chanyeol needs you, leave me hanging whenever he calls; the moment he’s in trouble I’m nothing in your eyes. Why? That kid has done nothing for you, absolutely nothing. He’s just a nuisance, always in the way. It’s a good thing he’s gone. Now you can appreciate what’s in front of you.” You shook your head the entire time he spoke; you didn’t want to hear him talk about Chanyeol like that anymore. You felt your heart tear in two. This is the man you saw as your guardian for three years, the person you loved with all your heart and the person Chanyeol himself looked up to for protecting his older sister. The man you wanted to spend the rest of your life with questioned your love for him and took your brother from this world thinking he was an obstacle to your heart. You covered your ears with your hands and screamed.
“STOP IT!” You fell onto your knees, uncontrollable tears leaving your eyes. You weren’t even scared anymore, what else could Suho do to hurt you? You’re already dying inside; he just ripped your heart out and crushed it with his bare hands. You trusted him with the world, your stupidity and failure to judge his true character just costed you the life of your seventeen year old brother. You felt tears drop as Suho hugged you from behind. You didn’t even try to remove his arms; you didn’t have the strength to move.
“I’m sorry sweetie, this wasn’t supposed to happen. I’m sorry for hurting you; you weren’t supposed to know all that. I’m sorry, I’m sorry I couldn’t protect you.”
“Sick, you’re so ing sick.” He has no real remorse for what he had done; he just doesn’t want you to leave him.
“No, sweetie please don’t say that. Please forgive me, I’ll replace the space Chanyeol left, I’ll fill it to the brim and show you that all you need is me. There’s nothing else out there worth your time. Just me, I’ll prove it to you and show you that. You’ll understand why I did what I did soon, you’ll get it. I know you will, you’re smart, you’ll understand.” You don’t know what possessed you but you had nothing else to lose, you just wanted to know.
“H-how did yo-”
“Kill him?” You nodded weakly. Suho chuckled lightly and it made you cringe. “It wasn’t difficult really. He may be tall but I’m a lot stronger than I look, a lot stronger. I simply waited until your parents left for work and used the spare keys you gave me to go inside. I went to Chanyeol’s room and to no surprise, he was still sleeping. I wrapped the rope around his neck and pulled. I’m sure you can figure out the rest on your own.” You took in a deep breath and waited a few moments before bringing yourself up to your feet. This is it; you just needed to know how this cruel man took your brother’s life before taking his. You’ll wait until he falls asleep tonight and kill him then yourself.
Suho expected you to hit him when you got up but you stood still and smiled at him.
“I knew you’d come through, you’ll let me prove to you that I’m the only person who’s worthy of having a place in your heart right?” You nodded and held your hands out, waiting for him to place his there.
“Let’s get some fresh air; I need to clear my mind.”
“Of course, anything for you sweetie.”
I apologize for leaving this story in the back burner, I didn't realize I didn't save the chapters I wrote on my laptop when I went to Yonsei >
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