Not one week after Luhan’s dramatic departure did you feel something was missing. It was understandable, of course. The man had been in your life for months; it was only natural for you to feel the void of not having anyone around to occupy your time even if it could have been deemed as time wasted.

It’s been two weeks now, two long weeks. You sat upright on your couch, fingers the coffee cup placed in your lap. For some reason, you will to move had escaped you and you found yourself not wanting to disturb the air. Staring, you kept your position for what seemed like hours, occasionally stirring to take a deep swig of the stale air.

Jongdae called earlier this morning to tell you he’d be free to see you. It was the first time you were able to get in contact with him since the incident, and at this point, you were just exhausted from trying to find a good explanation for the state you were in.

“Hi, Oppa.” You smiled weakly as Jondgae opened the door to your apartment.

“Hey.” He replied just as blankly. “How have you been?”

“Fine.” You put your room temperature coffee on the table in front of you. “And you?”

“Okay.”

“How is—”

“He’s fine.” Your brother read your mind. It was more than obvious that his words beat around the truth, but the idea that Luhan was okay comforted you. “He’s a little quiet, but other than that he’s… he’s okay.”

You nodded to yourself as Jongdae took the empty seat next to you. “That’s good. That’s a good thing—he should be happy.”

“I didn’t say that.” Jongdae laughed once. “I said he was okay, not that he’s happy. Just because you’re intact doesn’t mean your happy.”

“What do you mean?”

“He might be holding up like the physically strong person he is, but on the inside, we all know his spirit is broken. He’s lost the will to argue, the energy to fight for what he wants—even if it annoyed us at some point, this isn’t who he is.” He continued his story while rubbing circles onto your hand. “In a way, it’s like a part of him broke off when you said you didn’t love him.”

“I don’t love him.” You answered automatically.

“Oh?” He stood up and walked over to the kitchen before returning with a bottle of wine, half empty from the first time Luhan had spent the night with you. “It’s his, isn’t it? His favorite wine?”

“So?”

“Why do you still have it? If you didn’t love him, you’d get rid of him—you’d throw every piece of him away.”

“Why would I have to do that?” You asked abruptly. “It means nothing to me.”

“Fine.” Jongdae tossed the bottle in the trash can, the shatter of glass made you flinch as it resonated throughout the room. He walked over to your bedroom and emerged with the teddy bear Luhan had won for you at Lotte World on your third date.

Your eyes suddenly flickered over at the thought of losing something that had kept you company for so long—just like Luhan had.

“Oppa, wait!” You scrambled to your feet.

Jongdae ignored your pleas as her rummaged around your kitchen for a pair of scissors.

“No, stop—” You reached for the bear only to have him shove you away.

“What? What do you want?” Jongdae shooed you away. “This bear is from him, isn’t it? It’s just like that wine—it means nothing to you, doesn’t it? It’s just something from a man you don’t love, so why should you keep it?”

Your eyes glistened over with tears. At this point, your ego had escaped you and crawled into a dark corner. “Give it back to me.” You said sternly.

“No.”

“Jongdae—”

“You have no reason to keep this—”

“Oppa, stop it—”

“Why should I? It’d be foolish to keep this thing in the house, and I don’t think you’re a fool—”

“STOP! JUST STOP IT—WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS?!” You screamed, shoving your brother to the side.

Jongdae just obliged with your forceful conduct and allowed himself to be knocked into the kitchen counter as you tried to inflict any type of pain on him. Your weak punches barely hit his ego, but you didn’t stop. You threw your fists at him until you had degraded yourself into a helpless mess on the floor.

You huddled down, hugging yourself as you buried your face into your knees. Jongdae stooped over to cradle you as you cried on the floor.

“W-Why are you doing this?” You whimpered through your tears.

Your brother kissed your head just as he did when you were younger. “Because I don’t want you to be as foolish and stubborn as I was.”

You peered up at him through swollen eyes, unable to speak.

“I should never have made that bet with Luhan—” Jongdae shook his head. “I was too focused on proving a point that I didn’t even take your feelings into consideration. I didn’t imagine how far it would go, and I didn’t even dare imagine that you’d fall in love with him.”

“I don’t—”

“Do you? If you didn’t, you wouldn’t be like this. You’d be your normal, happy self, going out on the weekends with your friends instead of staying inside only answering my calls after the fourth time of letting it go to the answering machine. If this is you keeping it together, I’d hate to see you when you’re falling apart.”

It was only then that you noticed your teddy bear on the floor, face down. You reached for it, taking the soft plush into your arms before sighing into its face like it was Luhan—his arms wrapped around you, cologne beckoning you ever so subtly. You’d nuzzle your nose into the loose fabric of his t-shirt as his fingers played an invisible piano on your back, inching closer and closer to your neck before pulling to in for a kiss.

And then your memories of him ended as the bear’s fur touched your lips.

You missed him, and your body wouldn’t let you forget it. Your skin craved his body. Your eyes missed the curves and dips and details of his face. And most of all, your lips missed the feeling of his love on your face.

You did love him.

“He’ll never forgive me.” You shuddered to yourself. “I said such hurtful things to him that night. He won’t listen.”

“You don’t know that.” Jongdae rubbed your back as you sat up.

“Yes, I do. He’ll never want to speak to me again.” You shook your head.

Your brother stood up, leaving you on the floor as you rubbed the makeup off your sore eyes.

“Hey,” Jongdae said. You glanced up to see he was speaking into his phone. “Did you hear all that?”

“Oppa, who are you talking to?”

“What? …Yeah, just come right in.” He hung up the phone before smiling to you. “You’ll see.”

You ran to the door, anxious about your hunch over who Jongdae had been speaking to.

Luhan’s doe-like stare met yours for the first time in weeks as you opened the door. He held his phone in his hands, the screen still bright. He smiled suddenly, motioning to the mobile. “Chen was right. No one ever thinks to use a phone call as a way to eavesdrop.”

You blinked once, twice, before your brain actually could register what was going on. Just as Jongdae had used a phone call to you to get you to hear what was going on in the practice room, he had done it again so Luhan could hear you.

He heard you.

“Y-You…” You stuttered. “What did you hear?”

Luhan stepped inside, his cologne instantly capturing your attention. “I heard enough.”

You stayed silent as he closed the space between you, cautiously taking you into his arms just like he used to. Your body recalled the feeling of being connected to him in this way, and you melted on the spot, engulfing your senses in all that he was.

Luhan nudged away the hair blocking your ear with his nose before whispering, “I love you.”