“Tao, why am I so stupid?” Yuan Fei cried to me, as she spoke to me over the phone. “Fei Fei, you’re not stupid,” I told her, but her sobs weren’t stopping. “What did I get to deserve this?” She asked, and my heart broke.

“Do you want me to come over?” I asked her, and she mumbled a sure. “Okay, I’ll bring some ice cream too,” I added before hanging up.

Yuan Fei and I have been the best friends since growing up. I don’t even remember the last time I’ve fallen for her, but then every time when she’s hurt, I just want to protect her. I want to be her shield, which blocks her every pain.

It’s reasonably rare of Yuan Fei to cry to me, when she talks about her boy problems. Yes, it is quite weird to listen, since I love her. Still, what can I do, when the one she loves isn’t me?

“Fei Fei,” I called to her, as I opened the door to her condo. Everything inside Yuan Fei’s condo was entirely dark. “Fei?” I called once again, as I switched the doorway light on.

“Over here,” I saw Yuan Fei waving her hand from the couch, and made my way over to her. I placed the ice cream onto the table, and sat next to Yuan Fei on the sofa. “Why are you in the dark?” I asked her, and her body tensed up when I tried to touch her.

“I’m just tired from all the lights after crying,” Yuan Fei answered calmly. She had stopped crying.  “Then you’re going to stay in the dark tonight?” I asked her. “Mm,” she answered.

I sighed heavily, as I couldn’t see her face clearly. Although the lights from outside her back door were bright, it didn’t shine brightly inside Yuan Fei’s living room. I was quite upset that Yuan Fei is slowly being such an emotional person.

“Do you want the ice cream now, or later?” I asked, and then heard Yuan Fei shuffled around the couch. “Later sounds nice,” she answered, and I grabbed the ice cream off the table. I walked over to the kitchen, and placed the ice cream inside Yuan Fei’s tiny freezer.

Although it’s dark inside, I can still make my way around Yuan Fei’s condo. It’s such a tiny place, in which I can close my eyes and still know where to go.

“Tao, I don’t know what to do. Although we ended it again, I miss him still. Do you think that I should give him another chance?” Yuan Fei spoke up from the living room, and my body stiffened.

She’s talking about her ‘ex-boyfriend’ Tang Yue again. They just broken up like last night, and it’s kind of annoying how the man always hurts Yuan Fei. Still, she doesn’t see it.

He makes promises he can’t keep, and lies to Yuan Fei. I clearly see everything, but does Yuan Fei listen to me? No, she rather listens to her own heart. It pisses me off that she sometimes brushes my witness away, but I understand that she thinks I can be lying to her.

“Why give him another chance, when he’s only going to treat you the same over and over again?” I asked, making my way back to the living room. “I don’t know, because I still love him,” Yuan Fei answered, I felt my heart shattered.

Of course she’ll still love him. He’s her first at everything, and it kills me inside that Tang Yue just treats Yuan Fei like .

“Fei Fei, I thought that I can walk around your condo without the lights, but I need them on. I’m turning them on,” I said, changing the subject. “Tao, no!” Yuan Fei screamed, but I switched the lights to her living room on.

Yuan Fei quickly grabs the tiny blanket on the couch, and covered her body entirely. I was shocked at what I saw, as my blood rushed up to my head.

“Fei Fei,” I murmured her name, and she dared not face me. “Why…why did you let him hit you?” My heart cried, as I looked at her bruised skin.

She started to slowly cry, as I moved closer to her.

“Tao, don’t…” Her sobs got louder, and I gently wrapped my arms around her tiny body. “Fei…” I mumbled out her name, as tears soon rolled down my eyes. “I’m sorry,” she apologized, and I shook my head.

“Why are you sorry for?” I asked between my sobs, as I tried not to hurt her. “Because I…I tried hiding it from…you and everyone,” she cried louder. “Fei Fei, you idiot. Why do you love a man like this?” I asked, and she shook her head.

“I don’t know. I don’t even think it’s love anymore. I’m just so afraid,” she answered, and raised her head up to face me. I quickly wiped her tears and mine, as I tried to calm her down.

“Why are you scared?” I asked her, and she sighed heavily. “That he’ll hurt you and the rest, because he’s threatened me about hurting you multiple times,” she answered, and I clenched a fist tightly.

“Please Tao, please don’t do anything,” Yuan Fei pleaded, as she held onto my fist. “Why can’t I, Fei? He bruised your beautiful skin, and threatened you. Are you just going to return to him again, and act as if nothing happened? He hit you already, and he can kill you next,” I spoke up, as I tried not to yell.

“I don’t care, Tao. I don’t want him to kill you. Tang Yue has threatened me about killing you, if he sees us having skin ship again. No matter how much I tell him that you and I are just friends, Tang Yue sees it differently. I’m really scared, especially for you Tao,” Yuan Fei broke down, and I glanced away in agony.

Because she wanted to protect me, Yuan Fei got hurt.

“I’m not letting you return to him though, you hear me?” I told her, but she shook her head. “The breakup is just temporary, as you know how Tang Yue and I both are,” Yuan Fei answered, and I grabbed her by the shoulders.

Yuan Fei winced in great pain, and I released my hands in horror. I slowly pulled her left shoulder of the shirt side down, and saw huge purple and blue bruises.

“Is this what you want, Fei Fei?!” I raised my voice with fury, and she started to bawl again. “I’m sorry, Tao. I’m very sorry!” She yelled whilst crying, and I embraced her in my arms.

“I’m calling the cops on him,” I told her, but Yuan Fei stopped me. “No, please don’t. It’ll only make matters worse,” she cried in pain, and I hugged her tighter. “Fei Fei…” I muttered, as my soft voice cried again with her.

I gently caressed her back, as my fingers brushed through her long hair. I tried my best to shush her, and Yuan Fei just couldn’t stop crying. I was hurt, deeply offended by what Tang Yue did to her.

Growing up, Yuan Fei didn’t have a father or any siblings around. It was I, who had always been with her. At the age of 13, Yuan Fei’s mother left the world, and she was definitely alone.

Gratefully, my parents took her in, since both our parents had been great friends. I made a vow to always love and protect Yuan Fei like an older brother, but instead fell in love with her.

When becoming of age, Yuan Fei moved out to her condo, and lived independently.  Though she’s young, it’s not as if Yuan Fei couldn’t succeed. She became the woman that everyone wanted, which no one could touch.

Then Tang Yue showed up in her life, and here is how Yuan Fei’s world came tumbling down. When she cried to me about Tang Yue for the first time, I swore to beat a sense out of him. However, Yuan Fei stopped me and I didn’t do .

Next, Yuan Fei started distancing herself from me and our other friends. I knew something was wrong, and paid a visit to her. Yuan Fei and I once got into a heated argument, because I told her to not be those idiotic women who choose a man over friends and family. I saw the change in Yuan Fei, as she didn’t see it herself.

Now, Tang Yue has abused Yuan Fei, and I can’t handle the anger that has been burning inside my body. I don’t know if he had hit her before this, but I’m not going to let him off easily.

“Tao gege…” Yuan Fei mumbled; as I shifted my head over down to face her. “What is it?” I asked, as I found Yuan Fei just sniffling now. “Can you tell me that I can do better?” She said, and I let out a chuckle. “Not only can you do better, but you deserve better love,” I answered, as a smile spread across my face.

“Love,” Yuan Fei coed, and then silently giggled, “I’m not going to love again anytime soon.”

My heart sank lower than six feet of a grave, as I knew it that I won’t get a chance soon. Perhaps not ever, since she had said that. Whatever though, because being with Yuan Fei like this is better than nothing.

Yuan Fei soon drifted to sleep after the countless cries, and I carried her to her bedroom. Gently placing her down and tucking her in, I took my cellphone and called up my friends.

“When did you ever decide on clubbing?” Luhan asked, as we stood in line. “I’m here to finish a job, not for fun,” I answered, as my hands were getting itchy. “Let me guess, Tang Yue?” Lay asked, and I nodded.

“What did he do to Yuan Fei this time?” Xiumin asked curiously, and I scoffed. “He laid his filthy hands on her, and caused many bruises throughout her entire body,” I answered coldly, and the guys were all in shock.

“Wait, how did you know that Tang Yue is at the club?” Chen asked, and I showed him a text of Kris’. “Of course, Kris the bartender would know everything,” Luhan answered, and my hands twitched when we finally got inside the club.

The music was blasted loudly, as the DJ inside shouted into his microphone. Hundreds of people were scattered everywhere on the dance flood, sitting booth, and on the bar side.

When I poked my head up high to Kris’ view, he nodded his head to the right. He motioned to me that Tang Yue was inside a V.I.P room. I nodded my head as a sign for a thank you, and had the boys following me to the V.I.P room.

Every door that I opened, I didn’t see Tang Yue. I was getting frustrated, and was about to check the bathrooms, until I heard his voice. I opened the second to the last V.I.P room door, and saw Tang Yue chatting happily away with a girl.

This guy is such a sicko, and I still don’t get what Yuan Fei saw in him.

“Tao, take it easy,” Lay told me calmly, but I pushed the door open. The four ladies inside screamed in fright, as the other three guys looked at me with irritation. “Wassup Tao, you gave me quite the surprise,” Tang Yue greeted me, and I scoffed.

I in my breath, and jumped onto the tiny table in front of me, as I threw a few punches at Tang Yue. I heard the ladies beside us screaming, and felt lots of arms pulling me away.

However, nothing was going to stop me. I’m going to kill this guy if I have to. I want him to know the pain that I went through. No, I want Tang Yue to know the pain that Yuan Fei felt, which paranoid her in falling in love again.

“Tao, stop it!” I heard the guys yelling, but I didn’t give a crap. “Do you think that loving Yuan Fei is a game, huh?!” I legitimately screamed into his face, as I pulled it up close to mine.

Blood was oozing out his mouth and nose, as Tang Yue could barely open his eyes. Did I feel bad? that , I didn’t even think about sympathy when he begged for me to stop.

“What was Yuan Fei to you?!” I questioned him, as I threw him to the floor, and started to kick his ribs. “Tao, you’re going to kill him!” Chen yelled, as he tried to push me away.

I grabbed the glass wine bottle, and smacked it on the table. I pointed the sharpened end towards Tang Yue’s friends, and straight at Tang Yue’s face. My hands itched to strike it deep down into his heart, but instead I threw the glass across the room.

“You threaten Yuan Fei into never leaving you again, and I’ll call the cops. Don’t say that I won’t, because evidence is all over her body of how you abused her,” I muttered into Tang Yue’s ear, and walked out of the V.I.P room.

By then, the security guards came rushing in, but I was out before they got to me. What can they do to me anyways, as Kris is the owner of the club? Of course Kris has my back, and whatever that Tang Yue tries to do, will be invalid.

The clock read 2:34 a.m. when I returned back to Yuan Fei’s condo, and noticed that she was still asleep. I walked to the bathroom and quickly washed up, as I too, was covered in a bit of blood.

“Tao…?” I heard Yuan Fei’s soft-spoken voice. “I’m in the bathroom,” I told her, and quickly rushed to her side. “Are you sleeping over?” She asked, and rubbed her eyes. “Mm, if that’s okay with you,” I answered, and Yuan Fei smiled a small one.

“What happened to your hand?” Yuan Fei asked, as her eyes widened in shock. “Nothing, I was trying to cook for you, and accidently cut my hand,” I lied, as Yuan Fei didn’t know anything about the club incident.

Yuan Fei turned the lamp by her bedside on, and slowly sat up to face me. A dissatisfy looked shown on her face, as I forgot about having small cuts on me. Even though I had beaten up Tang Yue, he did have a couple of free attacks, and my lip was sort of busted.

“Yeah, did your bottom lip and eyebrow help you cook too?” Yuan Fei sarcastically asked, as she held my right hand gently with her tiny hands. “Sorry, I had to do it,” I apologized, and Fei giggled silently.

“I’ll bandage it in the morning, as I don’t have the kits with me right now. Go to sleep, okay?” She told me, and I shook my head. “You sleep first,” I said, and Yuan Fei nodded her head.

Six months had passed by, and Yuan Fei quickly picked up her bright smile again. Tang Yue was no longer to be found anywhere in Bei Jing, as I heard from Luhan that the guy moved to Macau. I can careless if he moved to hell, since he belonged down there anyways.

Also, today was a special for both Yuan Fei and I, since it was her birthday. Surprisingly, I bought her a tiny cake the day before her birthday, and quickly celebrated it with just the two of us.

Why did I celebrate it a day early? Well, her actual birthday surprise was to take her out to the beach. Yuan Fei was excited, as she used to make jokes of me walking down at the riverside by myself.

“Tao, Tao!”

Her bright smile shined with the sun, as her yellow sundress flew with the wind. I watched her small feet kick the sand, as she held onto her straw hat.

“Tao, put that camera away, will you?”

She came up towards me, and pulled my camera away. Her laugh sounded like a beautiful melody, which sang inside both my ears.

“The weather today is just perfect, don’t you think?”

I watched her running quickly towards the small wave that was dragged aback. I placed our beach supplies down on an open area, and observed her.

“Tao, Tao! Hurry dude, the water is fresh!”

Her smile widened, as I can see her gum. She was enjoying the time of her life, as she softly kicked the water. I sat down and rubbed suntan lotion on my arms, as I watched her.

“Huang ZiTao!”

She angrily shouted for me, and I chuckled. She picked up her sundress, and hastily paced towards me.

“Stop being such a girl, and let’s go for a swim!”

The two of us splashed water at each other for some time, and then later on settled down for ice cream. After our ice cream snack, Yuan Fei had me piggy back her. She wanted to live the moment like in movies, so I did it for her.

Soon after, we started playing tag; chased after the waves, and then napped under the huge umbrella I bought. I felt like we were a couple, but everything just seemed like a friendly thing for Yuan Fei.

I’m in no rush to have us date, as I’m willing to wait. I’ll wait forever if I have to, since Yuan Fei is still afraid. It took her about two weeks to hangout regularly with the guys again. So even if Yuan Fei and I don’t date today, tomorrow, or the day after, I can wait.

“Tao,” Yuan Fei called to me, as she rested her head on my shoulder. “Hm?” I asked, as we both sat down together, and watched the sun slowly set. “Thanks for everything. You’re the best friend ever that I could ever ask for. I love you for everything you’ve done,” Yuan Fei said, and I shifted my gaze at her.

Only her head was looking back at me, as her face remained staring at the sunset. I smiled to myself, and rested my chin on her head.

“You’re my friend, so what can I do? I did already tell you that you deserve better. I’m happy that you loved everything I did,” I replied, and felt the tiny vibration coming from Yuan Fei’s, as she laughed.

“You silly panda, I love you,” she cheekily said in her friendly tone of voice, whilst hugging my right arm and I chuckled.

I love you too, Yuan Fei.

*CRYING VERY HARD*

Hahaha!

-le sighs-

I've just been having burden thoughts about things in the past, and when I had fully let out what I had held forever. I felt like an elephant finally stopped sitting on me. :3

Therefore, I thought to share this story, as it was somewhat in particular that I went through, and maybe someone or anyone too. 

THANKS FOR READING! XDD

-loving Tao forever.-